It’s my first time building a PC and to say I’m not sure what I’m doing is an understatement lol I have done some research but needed to know if these parts are considered good or if I’m overpricing them
Any suggestions would be great, I’ll be using this PC for programming, streaming, art, games, and using 3D programs to animate. I know it’s overkill but I wanted to make sure everything worked and would work for a long time
Mother board: MSI MEG Z790 GODLIKE LGA 1700 Intel Z790 SATA 6Gb/s DDR5 Extended ATX Motherboard
https://www.newegg.com/p/N82E16813144561?item=N82E16813144561
Case: Fractal Design Pop XL Air RGB Black TG ATX High-Airflow Clear Tempered Glass Window Full Tower Computer Case
https://www.newegg.com/black-fractal-design-pop-xl-air-rgb-atx-full-towep/N82E16811352180?item=N82E16811352180
Graphics card: MSI Gaming GeForce RTX 4080 16GB GDDR6X PCI Express 4.0 Video Card RTX 4080 16GB GAMING X TRIO
https://www.newegg.com/msi-geforce-rtx-4080-rtx-4080-16gb-gaming-x-trio/p/N82E16814137766?item=N82E16814137766
SSD: Crucial MX500 4TB 3D NAND SATA 2.5 Inch Internal SSD, up to 560 MB/s - CT4000MX500SSD1
https://www.newegg.com/crucial-4tb-mx500/p/N82E16820156282?item=9SIBC76JEJ6317
FAN: EVGA SuperNOVA 1300 GT, 80 Plus Gold 1300W, Fully Modular, Eco Mode with FDB Fan, 10 Year Warranty, Includes Power ON Self Tester, Compact 180mm Size, Power Supply 220-GT-1300-X1
https://www.newegg.com/evga-supernova-1300-gt-220-gt-1300-x1-1300-w/p/N82E16817438231?item=9SIB3Y3J7X6949
COOLER: DeepCool AK620 High-Performance CPU Cooler, Dual-Tower Design,6 Copper Heat Pipes, 2x 120mm Fluid Dynamic Bearing Fans,260W Heat Dissipation, Black.
https://www.newegg.com/deepcool-ak620/p/13C-002K-000X7?item=9SIAYTVJD54297
MEMORY: Kingston FURY Beast 128GB (4 x 32GB) 288-pin DIMM DDR4 3600 MHz CL18 Black Memory (KF436C18BBK4/128)
https://www.newegg.com/p/0RN-001J-010E8?item=9SIA12KJEC3072
Processor: Intel Core i7-12700KF - Core i7 12th Gen Alder Lake 12-Core (8P+4E) 3.6 GHz LGA 1700 125W Desktop Processor - CM8071504553829 - OEM
https://www.newegg.com/intel-core-i7-12700kf-core-i7-12th-gen/p/N82E16819118346?item=9SIAYTVJFK8556
I don’t plan to buy them all right away and wait for sales, plus this site won’t be the only place I buy from but it was a general area to look for parts
If you got suggestions or swaps feel free to tell them

Hello Reddit,
I've been working on a series of boons to reward players for maxing out a stat. I have always felt like players that invest in maxing out an ability, other than a small increase in the likelihood that they succeed when using that ability. I want them to feel like they have reached the pinnacle of what a mortal is capable of. So here is my solution: Unparalleled Ability. I would love to hear feedback on this, especially in terms of balancing. If you like this idea, feel free to implement it in your own game!

Unparalleled Ability

When a Player Character reaches 20 in one of their ability scores, they have reached the maximum of what is naturally possible for a mortal, and are almost unmatched in this ability. To reflect this, they gain the following benefits, for the skill that they have maxed out:
​
STR: You have achieved the strength of ten men. Your size counts as one larger than your actual, for all purposes, and you gain access to the use of the Sundering Strike Mighty Deed for ALL STR-based melee weapons, twice per day, in addition to your base Mighty deeds. Additionally, Your incredible strength allows you to wield heavy weapons with ease. You may use two-handed weapons with one hand without incurring the normal disadvantage on attack rolls, and wield weapons designed for a creature one size larger than you.
​
DEX: Unless you actively allow it to be, your initiative can never be lower than a creature with a DEX score lower than yours, up to a maximum initiative of 20. Additionally, if you begin movement from hidden, you do not trigger attacks of opportunity until the beginning of your next turn.
​
CON: Your body has hardened itself to all foreign agents. You become immune to all diseases and gain advantage on saving throws against poison effects. Once per long rest, when being subjected to an effect that requires a DEX saving throw, you can instead choose to make a CON saving throw to resist the effect.
​
INT: Your incredible intellect provides you with limited foresight. You are able to retroactively prepare something on your character sheet that requires preparation (such as a spell, infusion, or item attunement), replacing an already-prepared spell that has not yet been used since your long rest. You must have had the time to make this preparation before this point. Additionally, when you are doing research in a repository of knowledge, such as a library, you have expertise in the skill you are using to find information.
​
WIS: You have attained a level of awareness beyond the capability of most mortals. Three times a day, you can read a creature, gaining a deeper understanding of them, or anticipating their next move. As a Bonus Action, you may ask the DM one of the following:
· What the result will be of the next d20 roll they make within one minute
· How much damage their next attack (within one minute of the check) will deal,
· Identify a single damage type resistance, vulnerability, or immunity
​
CHA: If a creature that can see you would hit you with an attack, you can use make a Deception, Persuasion, or Intimidation check. If the result is higher than the attack roll made, then the attack fails. You are able to do this once per combat. Additionally, once per day, you are able to exert the full force of your charismatic presence upon a target from whom you are trying to gain information. They must make a WIS saving throw with a DC equal to 13+your proficiency bonus, or be incapable of giving a false answer to the accompanying question from you, for the rest of the day. They are not compelled to tell the truth, merely to not reply with a lie. Once you have used this feature on an individual, you cannot do it again for seven days. However, you gain a permanent +1 bonus to CHA based checks involving them. If you repeat this again, this bonus increases, to a maximum of +5.
​
Nb: The "Sundering Strike Mighty Deed" refers to my usage of James Haeck's 'Beyond Damage Dice" mechanic ( Beyond Damage Dice: New Weapon Options for 5th Edition - Kobold Press Store), altered to make it more workable - specifically, changing a few weapon abilities, limiting the number of 'Mighty Deeds' that a character can use to twice their PB, and adding their PB to damage dealt using a Mighty Deed, to reward them for using it, even if the effect fails.
​
Sundering Strike is specifically a warhammer ability:
Sundering Strike. As an attack, make an attack roll with your Warhammer against a creature wielding a weapon, including natural weapons. If the attack hits, the attack deals the weapon is damaged, and all attacks made with this weapon deal a number of points equal to your PB less of its damage type.
Another sundering strike destroys the weapon. This attack has no effect on magical weapons unless your Warhammer is also magical.
​
I appreciate your feedback and advice on all this.

Secret Dragon Chapter: 5B: Perfection
[Chapter 5A: Perfection abridged. Less Explicit but still very steamy.]
—
Suggested Listening:
Eryn Allen Kane Have Mercy
(Add your suggested songs below!)
—
The distant storm he had banished returned from that deep place in him, now a tempest. He put his mouth against my neck. We will go slow he whispered. I shivered in response.
Vibrations wound their way through my body. Sound waves reverberated off bones. The pounding of his heart beat in time with mine. It was a song made of storms. I needed to be swept up in it.
He kissed me softly with rolling flames all over. Every inch of my scales was being annealed, preparing to be forged into something lost to time.
Where the fire touched, my scales glowed red hot, like embers. Savor this, he whispered. He brought his mouth to mine, kissing me amidst his flames.
His everything moved in perfect harmony with mine. I surrendered myself fully to him, waxing and waning, a boat on the waves.
Sasha knew the way I wanted to be touched. The way I wanted to be loved on. The way I wanted to be handled.
We had reached the peak of this volcano. Sasha’s wings stretched to their full span. This man had conquered me.
Something broke free inside me, then, something dormant in my core.
Flames erupted from his mouth and nose, engulfing our bodies entirely. I clutched at Sasha’s back, digging my claws into it.
…
I was being baptized, dipped backward into a deep river of fire by his strong hands. But I did not emerge from the surface; instead, I plunged deeper, into a vision of darkness, revealing the cosmos itself.
The Sun, my everything in this universe, my namesake, loomed ahead. It beckoned me, and I rushed toward that bright star without hesitation. When I entered, a searing pain began in my back, their two points of origin so telling. So unmistakable. It was like I was being ripped apart. Yet I felt nothing but joy in that pain. I came out the other side a streak of gold rushing down from the depths of the sun’s core back to earth. Back to reality. What was this?
…
Light filled the room as my eyes burst open. I heard the billowing of air as our bodies rose from the bed. His claws held my waist, my back arched.
White hot wings of light drifted in and out of my peripheral vision from behind me. They were the brightest, most beautiful things I had ever seen. As if possessed, I held both sides of his face stared deeply into his soul until his eyes glowed like an inferno. White hot fire manifested itself across his wings. Radiant and full of light. Like mine. I released him.
We were suspended in the air, frozen in time, silent. No longer were we mere mortals in that moment. We were glorious, and terrible. Divine beings, forged in lava and cosmic energy.
Slowly, gently, all the flames began die. My wings softly dispersed until they were no more. His hands held me as we drifted downward. His eyes and wings both dimmed back into their normalcy.
The fireplace was, once again, the only source of light in the room.
Our chests heaves from the intensity of what had just transpired. We stared at each other, wild eyed. His wings lowered, somewhat. Our senses returned to us.
My hands shook as I touched his cheek, rubbing his scales.
We held each other’s gaze. Eventually, he closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around me tenderly, and his wings enveloped me.
For a long time, we just lay there together, still smoldering in the aftermath of that eruption. That awakening. The only sounds now were our shallow breaths, and the fire which crackled behind us.
We had gone elsewhere. Some distant place lost to time where our history lie in ruins. Where a rend in the crust had torn our people asunder in ages past. And that pull of his call to me? It felt so strongly, as if our souls were old things in that distant place, once known to each other but cleaved violently and unjustly.
We had awoken in mundanity that morning. Mostly normal people living a mostly normal life. Now who were we meant to be?
The end and the beginning of all things. The answer to questions not yet asked.
We were perfection.

Secret Dragon - Chapter 5A: Perfection [Explicit]
[NSFW: Grown Folks Business Ahead. Explicit. Seriously. If you want to read a less explicit but still very steamy version of this chapter, I got you! Please proceed to chapter 5B for the abridged version]
—
Suggested Listening:
Floetry Say Yes
Eryn Allen Kane Have Mercy
—
The distant storm he had banished returned from that deep place in him, now a tempest. He put his mouth against my neck. We will go slow he whispered. I shivered in response.
Vibrations wound their way through my body. Sound waves reverberated off bones. The pounding of his heart beat in time with mine. It was a song made of storms. I needed to be swept up in it.
He kissed me softly with rolling flames. From my lips to my neck, then over the plates between my breasts. Over my belly. My hands slid to his shoulders as he worked his down my thighs. Every inch of my scales was being annealed, preparing to be forged into something lost to time.
Sasha’s tongue trailed back up my leg. His claws caressed my legs between my thighs. So I invited him into my house, for there was a feast prepared for him.
My scales prickled where his tongue trailed up my inner thighs. The deep growl of his throat sent vibrations inside me. I could see steam roll off my body into clouds. The heat of his fire was awakening my flesh, my core. His tongue searched me until he found my pleasure, as if he had a roadmap to it. He ate me, not like like a starving man, but one of refined tastes. “Right there,” I moaned. “Yes.” And slowly, he explored that place. My secret place. A whimper escaped my mouth. My claws dug into the mattress.
My imagination at its most creative, at its most hungry, could not have conjured this ecstasy. Gods, have mercy.
When Sasha got his fill of me, I had only a moment’s reprieve.
I felt the heat traveling up slowly. Where the fire touched, my scales glowed red hot, like embers. I shuddered as his strong hands trailed up my body. Savor this, he whispered.
He brought his mouth back to mine, kissing me, letting me taste of myself amidst his flames.
Then he entered me.
I moaned as his body pressed against me, his manhood filling me. I pulled him closer until the rhythms of his breath, his heart, his storm were mine. His everything moved in perfect harmony with mine. I surrendered myself fully to him, as he stroked me, waxing and waning, a boat on the waves.
Sasha knew the way I wanted to be touched. The way I wanted to be loved on. The way I wanted to be handled. He gave me the most intense pleasures I had felt in my life.
We had reached the peak of this volcano. Sasha’s wings stretched to their full span. This man had conquered me. But the way my voice rang out in that room at that last push? It broke free something dormant in my core.
Flames erupted from his mouth and nose, engulfing our bodies entirely. I clutched at Sasha’s back, digging my claws into it.
…
I was being baptized, dipped backward into a deep river of fire by his strong hands. But I did not emerge from the surface; instead, I plunged deeper, into a vision of darkness, revealing the cosmos itself.
The Sun, my everything in this universe, my namesake, loomed ahead. It beckoned me, and I rushed toward that bright star without hesitation. When I entered, a searing pain began in my back, their two points of origin so telling. So unmistakable. It was like I was being ripped apart. Yet I felt nothing but joy in that pain. I came out the other side a streak of gold rushing down from the depths of the sun’s core back to earth. Back to reality. What was this?
…
Light filled the room as my eyes burst open. I heard the billowing of air as our bodies rose from the bed. His claws held my waist, my back arched.
White hot wings of light drifted in and out of my peripheral vision from behind me. They were the brightest, most beautiful things I had ever seen. As if possessed, I held both sides of his face stared deeply into his soul until his eyes glowed like an inferno. White hot fire manifested itself across his wings. Radiant and full of light. Like mine. I released him.
We were suspended in the air, frozen in time, silent. No longer were we mere mortals in that moment. We were glorious, and terrible. Divine beings, forged in lava and cosmic energy.
Slowly, gently, all the flames began die. My wings softly dispersed until they were no more. His hands held me as we drifted downward. His eyes and wings both dimmed back into their normalcy.
The fireplace was, once again, the only source of light in the room.
Our bodies steamed in the darkness, chests heaving from the intensity of what had just transpired. We stared at each other, wild eyed. He withdrew from me, wings lowering somewhat. Our senses returned to us.
My hands shook as I touched his cheek, rubbing his scales. There was blood on my claw from where I had dug into his back past his scales.
We held each other’s gaze. Eventually, he closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around me tenderly, and his wings enveloped my steaming body.
For a long time, we just lay there together, still smoldering in the aftermath of that eruption. That awakening. The only sounds now were our shallow breaths, and the fire which crackled behind us.
We had gone elsewhere. Some distant place lost to time where our history lie in ruins. Where a rend in the crust had torn our people asunder in ages past. And that pull of his call to me? It felt so strongly, as if our souls were old things in that distant place, once known to each other but cleaved violently and unjustly.
We had awoken in mundanity that morning. Mostly normal people living a mostly normal life. Now who were we meant to be?
The end and the beginning of all things. The answer to questions not yet asked.
We were perfection.

On a scale of one to ten, one being touching a hot car on a sunny day and ten being falling into the sun, I’d put having something burst into flames in my hand at probably a four. I think four is reasonable. I mean, we’re not talking about blistering heat that roasts your meat black. We’re talking about a little, blue, cat doll just catching fire and enveloping your hand up to the wrist in white-hot angel fire.
I think anyone’s first instinct when something they’re holding bursts into flames is to drop or throw the item. Since I am anyone, I naturally throw the doll with a squeal that turns heads. It hits the side of the closest tent and tumbles down it, paw over whisker. It leaves a trail of little fires behind it. These don’t just sizzle and go out, they get bigger.
Did I mention the smoke? There’s black smoke billowing out of the doll like it’s one of those funny fireworks that does nothing but make smoke. It doesn’t move like smoke though. Smoke just goes up where I guess it gets sucked out into space or something. This smoke swirls around in a ropey fashion like a snake.
“Meredith?” I say to the smoke snake, “Is that you?”
The smoke snake does not respond. Instead, one of the teenagers shouts, “FIRE!” and throws a cup of soda at the side of the tent that’s burning incredibly quickly. They all scatter. Soda is apparently not an effective fire extinguisher. The flames just sizzle and then swallow more of the tent.
I decide not to stick around. “If you’re Meredith, follow me,” I tell the smoke snake, and then turn to run for the busy section of the carnival.
I don’t make it more than two steps before one of the bigger teenagers grabs me by the shoulder. He’s a lanky boy with black hair and one of those “I wanna look grown-up” half mustaches that you almost wonder if you can just rip it right off his face. He’s wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt. I bet Roger and this kid would have been best buds or bitter rivals if Roger hadn’t gotten turned into mashed potatoes.
“Hey! This girl started a fire!” he yells to nobody in particular.
A girl with really short cut bleached blonde hair and one of those nose stud things runs over and gets right in my face. “Let her go, Johnny!” she snaps at the boy holding me. I’m surprised because I thought from her expression that she was going to headbutt me in the face and knock me out or something. “She’s pretty badass in my book.” She looks me in the eyes with something I’m not familiar with. Is that... respect?
Johnny lets go of me.
“That thing’s gonna burn the whole carnival down!” the girl yells. She sounds pleased. She’s even got a big grin on her face as she watches the fire on the tent rise upward.
“Well I’m not sticking around to watch, babe!” says Johnny, and he takes off between two trailers across the way.
There’s already shouts rising over the sound of the crackling fire. I hear someone yell the word “fire!” and the sentence, “grab an extinguisher!” Just over the tent, where the main thoroughfare probably is, some woman screams, and a kid starts crying. Oh God, I’ve gone and killed everybody, haven’t I? The entire carnival is going to burn to the ground and everybody’s probably panicking and stampeding for the exits. Then the screaming lady lets out a big burst of laughter and I realize nobody on the other side of the tent is even aware of what’s going on over here yet.
“Come on!” the blonde girl pulls on my sleeve. I stumble over my own feet and fall to the ground. She doesn’t stick around to help me up. Instead she takes off after her friend Johnny, doing some sort of twirly dance in the process as she runs away into the dark.
I start to get up from the dirt when I notice dark liquid running out from under me. It’s blood. It’s all over my shirt. I’m a sopping wet, red mess. Also, the cow pitcher is shattered. I must have fallen right on it and it broke and I got Nate’s blood all over myself! How am I ever going to explain this to that angry man I borrowed it from?
“What’s going on?” asks Paschar, “I’m getting only bits and pieces. There’s a fire? Smoke? Snakes? Blood? Are you injured?”
Actually, now that he’s asked, there is a big piece of the cow pitcher sticking through my bloody shirt down in my tummy area. I pull on the end of it. There’s a nasty, burning sensation so I stop pulling. I’ve gone and stabbed myself with a cow pitcher! Is any of this blood mine?
“I’ve spilled Nate’s blood all over myself!”
“Don’t rub it in your eyes!”
I wasn’t gonna rub it in my eyes. It’s not like I’m tired or anything. My cousin Susie used to rub her eyes a lot but that was because she had really bad allergies. Her eyes were always bloodshot. Susie’s worst allergy was boat propellers though. She was deathly allergic to those. After her accident, my Uncle George developed really bad allergies too. I could tell because his eyes were always bloodshot.
Someone nearby yells, “Over here!” and a pair of men run up with big, red fire extinguishers. They start spraying the white foamy stuff at the side of the tent. At first, it doesn’t look like the foam is going to stop the flames, but after a minute of spraying and one of the extinguishers running out of juice, the fire hisses and goes out.
The man holding the used-up fire extinguisher looks at the big, black, scorched portion of tent, then down at the crispy, little cat doll on the ground. Then he turns and looks at the claw machine. The machine blinks its lights like it’s saying hello to him. The man finally looks over at me, laying in a small pool of warm blood. It’s the man with orange hair who passed by earlier that I hid from.
“Look what we got here,” he says with a funny accent. I think it’s Irish, but it might be Scottish. I’m not an expert on accents. Everything I know about accents I learned from this movie I watched with my dad about a Scottish guy who was immortal and he killed other immortal people by chopping their heads off with a giant sword. Well, that and Mary Poppins.
The other man sets down his fire extinguisher and turns around. He’s a beefy guy wearing a huge coat with lots of pockets and a floppy-looking cowboy hat. “Who’s that, Gin?” he asks in a non-accent voice.
“Get up, girly!” The man named Gin reaches down and grabs me by my collar. He pulls me halfway up to standing on my own two feet. In the process, the piece of cow pitcher that has punctured me in the tummy area shifts and causes more of that intense burning feeling I got when I tried to pull it out.
“OWWWW!” I yell, hoping he gets the hint and lets go of me.
He doesn’t.
Then I notice that the snaky trail of black smoke is circling his head like a creepy halo. I don’t think he or the other man can see it because if either of them could, they’d surely be freaking out and trying to wave it away.
“This,” Gin says with one of those half-smile smirks that shows the canine tooth on the left side of his mouth, “is who Clay was looking for.”
The black smoke snake hunches back like it's about to strike at the back of Gin’s head. Then it lunges forward and splashes like a wave against him, going in all directions. A moment later, it recollects itself into a cloudy-form and swirls angrily around him like a swarm of bees dealing with Winnie-the-Pooh.
Gin pulls me the rest of the way to my feet. This is good because I aim to kick him in his testicles and I couldn’t do that lying down. As soon as I’ve got my footing, I pull back, swinging my foot out behind me--
--at which point he brings his big, adult fist into the equation by punching me hard in the guts. The pain is so intense I feel like I’m going to puke. Even worse, there’s a really sharp stinging sensation and then a wet kind of warmth. No, I didn’t pee myself. Gin himself winces in pain as he pulls his fist back to reveal the piece of broken cow pitcher stabbed right up between his knuckles. He lets go of me so he can pull it out and I take the opportunity to drop to my knees and double over, clutching where he hit me.
“Word of advice to you, lass,” says Gin as he flicks the pitcher piece away, “don’t broadcast your intention to kick a man in the quongs if you don’t want to get punched in the ovaries.”
I’m too busy rubbing my face in the wet grass to respond but I’m thinking about how annoying this thing with saying what I’m thinking is and I wish I could stop doing it because it really makes fighting bad guys difficult. I wonder if I just said that thought, but judging from Gin putting his boot on the back of my head, I’m guessing not. Bleh, the grass is warm and tastes like ozone. I realize I’m getting Nate’s blood on me. Paschar said to not get it in my eyes!
“What is she, like ten years old?” I hear the other man say, “What about this brat’s got Clay so spooked? You could knock her over with a wet fart.” Thanks for that visual, Sir.
Gin lifts his boot off my head. I take the opportunity to get my face out of the bloody grass and wipe it off my mouth. I can’t tell how much is on my face.
“She killed his kid or sometin’,” he remarks casually, “burned him alive.” He pauses. I look up. He’s looking at the scorched tent. “Seems like she’s got a penchant for fire. Maybe we ought to give her a feel of what it’s like to get burned before we bring her to Clay. What do you say?”
I cough up some dirt I didn’t realize was in the back of my throat. “I didn’t kill Joey.”
Gin wanders a few steps away and the other man comes over and puts a hand under my armpit. He helps me up in a far gentler manner than Gin did. I don’t think about kicking him in the testicles and I don’t plan to. The two men share a brief look and I worry for a second that I just said all that.
“She’s got blood all over her,” the big other guy says, letting go of me and wiping his hands off on his dark jacket.
“I don’t give a rat’s ass if she’s got shit and puke on ‘er,” Gin lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag on it. He looks at me like a kid with a magnifying glass looks at an ant. He blows out a small cloud of stinky smoke. I wonder if he can make smoke rings. “Give me her arm.”
Nothing good ever started with someone saying, “give me her arm.” I instinctively start to pull away, but the big guy puts his hand under my armpit again and moves me away from Gin, twirling me around so he’s between the two of us like a big wall.
“I’ve had enough of this. I’m not letting you put a cigarette out on a little girl. What the Hell is wrong with you, man?”
I put my free arm around his waist and give him as much of a hug as I can. Thank you, Mister, whoever you are.
Gin casually gestures toward the blackened tent flap and scorched patch of ground where the remains of my precious Freddy Lapel doll sizzles with otherworldly heat. “Look what she did, Dutch. She tried to burn down the whole carnival. Could have hurt somebody! Could have killed somebody--” He looks directly at me. “--again.”
Dutch’s thumb digs into my armpit but not so hard that it hurts. He smells like he had bacon recently. And he works on machinery or something, because there’s a distinct scent of motor oil on his clothes. I wonder if he knows Mr. Grizz.
“But thankfully nobody did get hurt. And I don’t know the full story between her and Clay, if there even is one. All I know is a grown-ass, Irish prick is telling me to let him put a lit cigarette on a ten-year old girl covered in blood and I ain’t about to be the guy that lets that happen.”
“I’m twelve actually,” I tell Dutch. He doesn’t hear or just ignores me.
The orange-haired creep named Gin takes another drag on his cigarette. I watch the end of it burn away between his fingers. Then he casually lifts one leg and puts it out on the underside of his boot. He flicks the butt away and then crosses his arms and stares at me hiding behind Dutch. If there was a clock, we could hear it ticking away, but there’s no clock. Instead, there’s just the hoots and hollers of people having a grand old time at the carnival.
After what seems like five minutes of just hard, quiet staring at each other like one of those Mexican standoffs in a Clint Eastwood Western movie --my dad used to love to watch Clint Eastwood movies. His favorite was called High Plains Drifter. I just watched for the horses-- oh right, like I was saying... after five minutes of that staring, Gin shrugs like he didn’t just step on the head of a little girl and then try to put a cigarette out on her.
“I’m fetching Clay.” He lingers for a moment, glaring at both of us, and then storms off in a hurried manner, really working his arms into it.
Dutch’s grip on my pit loosens. I stop hugging him and move away a step. He looks down at me. I can’t figure out what thoughts are going through his head. His expression seems like a jumble of worry and upset and even a little fear. He’s gotten all sweaty. He wipes it away with his sleeve and takes a rough breath.
“Thank you, Mr. Dutch,” I tell him.
He nods silently.
I check my pokey stab wound from the cow pitcher. It’s not leaking profusely but there’s blood and mud caked on my shirt and it’s sticking to me. I hope I don’t get a mud infection. I wish I better understood where germs come from. There’s blood all over my hands but I don’t know if it’s mine or Nate’s.
“I’m taking you to the front entrance and we’re calling the police,” Dutch tells me.
I almost forgot about the cloud of smoke. It is lazily drifting over Dutch’s head now, like a little, black raincloud. It moves unnaturally, not drifting away or dispersing in any way. Just a little, black raincloud over the man’s floppy hat.
We walk away from the burned tent and the claw machine in the opposite direction from the one that Gin went. A noise behind us makes me look back. A blonde woman with an apron covered with pockets from which prize tickets hang out all over comes out of a nearby booth alley and sees the mess I caused. She immediately zeroes in on Dutch and I walking away together.
“Oi! Dutch!” she calls out, “what the Hell happened here?”
“I’m dealing with it, Susie,” he tells her. He puts his hand on my arm as if to show that he’s got the perpetrator and is handling the situation.
I look up at him. “My cousin’s name is Susie.” I don’t know why I feel the need to mention that. My brain is kind of doing a reset at the moment as I try to figure out what I need to do and if that cloud is indeed Meredith’s soul like I think it is.
Mr. Dutch glances down at me and starts leading me away again. “Is that so?”
“My uncle ran her over with a motorboat.”
He frowns and looks away. “Oh.”
I realize I could have worded that better. “By accident.”
Paschar chimes in. “That’s probably not the best topic to be bringing up right now, Lily.”
Mr. Dutch seems to agree with Paschar. “Let’s just get you to the ticket booths, alright? Quiet like.”
Ahead of us, the back alleyway of tent flaps and old, unused arcade machines opens up to the main thoroughfare. I knew it was right there! I can see normal people, mostly adults because it’s so freaking late and kids have got school tomorrow but the carnival is in town so some parents brought their kids because some things are more important than school. Like fishing for little ducks with magnets on the end of a fishing line so you can get a ten cent knick-knack for the price of a couple quarters. Or shooting water in a hippo’s mouth and watching a balloon fill up from out its butt and whoever pops the hippo’s butt balloon wins a prize which is usually just a bunch of tickets like the ones that lady had falling out of her apron pockets.
The little, black cloud follows us, keeping just above Dutch’s head. I wonder if it intends to drop on him like an anvil in a Wile E Coyote cartoon.
Right before we reach the thoroughfare full of laughing, smiling people, I hear something. Fast approaching footsteps. They’re not speed walking; this is more like a jumbling hustle of several feet moving swiftly but trying to be quiet. Oh crap, it’s Gin and Clay. They’re going to burn me with cigarettes or rub deodorant on my wounds and stab me and light me on fire and--
There’s a hard WHOOMP sound right next to me followed immediately by a loud grunt like “UGH” but I can’t do it justice with words. It’s like the sound someone would make if they bang their elbow on the edge of a metal desk right where their funny bone is. Like right between the elbow joint bones, you know? Why does that hurt so bad? I think the person who named it the “funny bone” never hit the corner of a metal desk there. It’s the least funny bone in your body. Or second at least to the coccyx. That’s the little tail end of your spine. Yeah, we got tails. Humans got tails. They’re hidden though, tucked away in the butt area.
Dutch lets go of my arm. I turn to look at him. There’s a foot with a sneaker on it sticking out from between his legs. Just as quickly as I see it, it disappears. Mr. Dutch is the one making the pain sound. He reaches down and clutches his crotch, and his knees give out and he falls forward. Someone kicked this poor man in the testicles!
The foot belongs to the girl with the short, bleached blonde hair. She stands over the large, crumpled form of Dutch and looks at me with a triumphant grin.
“Bleep the authority!” she shouts and pumps her fist in the air. She’s wearing like a dozen rings on the one hand. How can she fit so many rings on such stubby fingers? “Let’s go!” she yells in my face even though I’m right there next to her.
Her friend Johnny is with her. He’s looking around anxiously. “Yeah, let’s get out of here already!”
I’m flabbergasted. “But Mr. Dutch was a good guy!” I try to tell the two of them.
They’re completely enthralled by their own sense of pride in a job well done, saving the little, bloody girl from the big man at the traveling carnival. Mr. Dutch is groaning in severe, testicle-kicked pain. I reach down to try to help him, and the blonde girl grabs my wrist.
“What are you doing?” she asks me through a smile that says she doesn’t even really care what my answer is, “we’re rescuing you! Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, let’s hoof it!”
I feel like that’s one too many horse-themed expressions in a single statement, but I don’t say anything. And not just that, there’s like twelve too many people getting involved in my problems lately. I’m not a complete idiot, I know well what happens to people around me. My whole family is dead. My best friend is... probably a little, black cloud that’s doing some sort of weird interpretive dance over the crumpled form of poor Dutch with the swollen balls. People get hurt around me. Hell, poor Dutch can attest to that at the moment. People die around me. People get torn apart by skinless dogs that form out of fungus that used to be old ladies and I can’t believe that’s even an actual thing I saw. I saw that. That happened.
I take the girl’s hand and remove it from my arm. “Look, I don’t know you or Johnny and you both seem really nice, but you need to get out of here before you get hurt. I’ll be okay. Mr. Dutch was taking me to get help. The bad people are coming, and they like to smoke. They’ve got an angel of death tied up somewhere. And there’s someone much, much worse who could show up any time.”
I think I lost them both somewhere around the part about that creep Gin being a smoker. The boy Johnny does another anxious look around the area, then he grabs the girl’s arm. “Nance, let’s just go. I didn’t come here to get murdered by some whacked-out carney cult.”
The girl Nance drops her arm and shakes her head at me. She starts to open her mouth to say something, then crumples it up into a little mouth and turns and trots away after Johnny. I watch them go. I don’t know who they were, but I hope they get far, far away. The curse of getting involved in my life has a long reach and is unforgiving.
After they leave, I kneel down and pat Mr. Dutch on the back. “All you alright, Mr. Dutch?” I ask him. He mutters something I can’t understand because he’s got his face shoved into the ground.
“You’re not cursed, Lily,” Paschar comments.
“Then why do bad things always happen to people around me?”
“Because your gift is chaotic,” I hear me say. Except I didn’t say it. Not me me anyway.
Paschar whispers, “Oh no.”
I feel the presence of another person standing right behind me. Unlike Nance and Johnny, this person didn’t make a sound. It was as if they rose up out of the ground or descended from the sky as silent as a feather touching a pillow. My whole body tenses up. That sounds impossible but it totally is possible and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. Don’t question it.
I turn around slowly. First at the neck, then the shoulder, finally at the waist. Why am I dragging this out? Because I don’t want to look behind me at the person because I know exactly who it is and I really don’t feel like peeing my pants right now. Or ever. But especially now.
For a second I think I’m just looking in a mirror because I see my own face. Except my actual face probably has more blood on it currently. But less blood everywhere else.
Samael smiles at me. “You got here ahead of me.” He looks at my clothes and then tilts his head and examines my face. “And from the looks of it, you’ve had one Hell of a time. Who did this to you? Was it him?” He points at Mr. Dutch who has finally rolled over onto his back and is staring up at the starry night sky with teary eyes and a really red face.
“This isn’t my blood,” I tell him.
He grins. “But this is,” he gestures at himself. Don’t pee, Lily. Don’t pee.
Paschar raises his voice. “Sam, please, you’ve got to come back! You’re unwell.”
“Really?? Did you really think that’s going to work?” That’s me talking. Actual me. Not Samael. “You can’t appeal to crazy! I mean, come on. You’ve got to have something to back your words up with. When in the history of ever has someone been on the verge of destroying a small carnival and someone else said, ‘don’t do it!’ and they were like, ‘oh, okay.’? Never!”
“She’s right.” Samael says, nodding and raising an eyebrow. Hey, I can’t do that. I try to raise one eyebrow, but I just end up raising both. So I stop and try again. But then I stop completely before it looks like I’m wiggling my eyebrows at him. He stares at me blankly for a moment after, then blinks a couple times and shakes his head.
Mr. Dutch rolls over and gets up onto his hands and knees. He lets out a big breath, then sits up and tilts his head back to look at Samael and me together. There’s a moment where he seems to accept what he’s seeing, but then he clenches his eyes shut, reopens them, cranes his neck forward and looks back and forth between us.
“Don’t hurt him,” says Paschar.
Samael smirks. It’s starting to feel surreal to see myself making faces when I can feel that I’m not. Also, everything’s slightly off because I’m looking at my actual face and not a mirror reflection of it. “I’m not here for Mr. Dutch,” says Samael, “I’m here for the rune-maker, remember? I’m here for Felix Clay.”
“Lillian Alexandra Madwhip!” someone shouts from the direction Mr. Dutch and I just walked away from.
As if he was just waiting in the shadows --which he probably was because it’s such a Felix thing to do-- Felix freaking Clay steps from seemingly out of nowhere and stands about ten yards down the alleyway from us behind Samael. Beside him is his orange-haired friend Gin, smoking another cigarette from the looks of the little glow I can see in his hand. I should have smelled him coming.
They’re a little ways off, but I can see them both pretty clearly, and Felix isn’t smiling. It occurs to me that he always smiled before, even when he was doing things that shouldn’t have made him happy. It’s like his smile is a mask he hides behind. But not now. Now he looks angry. And annoyed. And --why is he holding that hammer? He’s not even holding it right; he’s got the claw side down. He can’t hammer a nail that way unless his arms work backward.
“You came for me and here I am!” Felix yells at us, “But I told you not to come back. So now--” He and his Irish buddy Mr. Gin start marching toward us with very purposeful strides, and I can’t understand what he’s saying after the “so now” part. Mr. Gin pulls something I can’t see out of his coat and holds it close at his side. No doubt it’s a weapon, I just don’t know if it’s a stabby weapon or a shooty weapon or what.
Samael doesn’t look at them. He’s focused on me. He’s smiling. His hands are clenched at his sides, and I remember well that there’s a rune on one that lets him punch through people like they’re made of Play-doh.
As for me, I’m torn. Do I warn Felix that Samael can karate chop him into bits like some sort of bad horror movie? Or do I watch this play out? Maybe I should take this opportunity to just run. I mean, I can’t win against any of these people. Who am I? I’m a Knife That Cuts the Veil that’s dulled by the runes all over the carnival grounds.
While I stand there lost in that thought, Samael reaches forward and pokes me in the forehead. He starts moving his finger around. I just stand there and stare at him, waiting for him to jab a hole right through my head. Don’t pee, Lily. Don’t pee. What the heck is he doing?
“There,” he whispers to me, finishing whatever it is, “that should keep you safe. Just don’t smear it or your head might explode.”
As soon as he lifts his finger away, I can feel it. That tension I had that I mentioned early was all through my body, it just vanishes. I almost go completely slack in fact, but manage to hold myself up. Then comes a wave of warmth starting at the spot on my forehead that he last touched and encompassing my entire head, traveling down my neck, across my chest, down both arms at the same time, through my midsection and then hips, legs, ending at the tips of my toes. The pain in my abdomen that I had actually forgotten about also vanishes. I reach into the hole in my shirt to feel the wound. It’s still there and I feel my fingertip actually go inside the stabby hole for a second before I realize I’m still hurt; I just can’t feel it anymore.
“Who’s your little friend?”
Felix and Gin have finally reached us. Gin looks smugly at me, still holding his hand by his side. Samael turns to face them finally and Gin’s smug look is replaced with one of confusion. Felix stops mid-stride and even takes a step back. He also has a confused expression on his face. I don’t need to see Samael’s face to know he’s got the biggest grin on it right now.

I recently was curious to test if chatGPT thinks it could distinguish things based on physical properties assuming it was suddenly given sight. I tried asking it in many different ways but it seems convinced that, if given a pear and an apple and only were allowed to look at them (no tools) it would be able to tell which is which. even after I explain, and it admits that it has never seen an apple or a pear and only has descriptions of those, it still claims it could differentiate the two.
"
You are correct that as an AI language model, I do not have firsthand sensory experiences of touch or color. However, my training data includes vast amounts of information about different objects, including fruits like apples and pears. This data includes textual descriptions, images, and even numerical data that describes physical properties such as color, texture, and size.
Based on this training data, I have learned to associate certain visual features with certain objects, even if I have not personally experienced them. For example, my training data includes information that describes apples as generally having a smooth surface and being red or green in color, while pears are generally yellow or green in color and have a bumpy surface. These associations between visual features and objects have been learned through the analysis of patterns in the data.
"
I tell it to try and convince me of this ability it claims to have
"
As an AI language model, I cannot "see" objects in the way that humans do, as I am not equipped with sensory organs like eyes. However, I have been trained on vast amounts of data that include descriptions and images of different objects, including fruits like apples and pears.
This training has enabled me to recognize patterns in the data and make associations between certain visual features and object labels. For example, my training data may include descriptions of apples as being generally round and having a smooth surface, while pears are generally more pear-shaped and have a bumpy surface.
While my recognition and differentiation of objects may not be as precise or accurate as a human's, it is based on the patterns and associations learned from the training data. This has been demonstrated through various applications of AI, including object recognition in images and videos, natural language processing, and more.
Ultimately, the ability of an AI model to visually recognize and differentiate between objects depends on the quality and quantity of training data, as well as the algorithms used for analysis and pattern recognition. While AI models are not perfect, they have demonstrated remarkable progress in recent years in tasks such as object recognition, language translation, and other areas.
"
I think it gets a little off topic and speaks about ai generally at the end there instead of itself, but it still seems convinced it could do this.
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the full conversation is a lot longer, so if people want more i am happy to provide it... or you could just ask it yourself. this was on the free version, so not GPT4.
chatGPT mentions that It has access to images in its training data in one of its responses... can anyone confirm or deny this, I'm aware that 4 can produce images. As a test, I asked it to draw a turtle in python... it doesn't look anything like a turtle other than being made from green shapes, i asked it to make it more detailed and it added stars.
sorry for such a long post, but this stuff is super interesting.
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as a side not, it is making me add something called a "flair" apologies if I assign this incorrectly... I don't use reddit a lot.

https://energymatterspdx.com/treatment/

We treat adults, couples, families, adolescents and children.

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• Combine traditional therapies and mind-body techniques
• Resolve persistent negative emotions and beliefs
• Move from inner conflict to contentment
• Access your strengths and resources to overcome mental and spiritual barriers to healing
• Heal trauma without dwelling on painful details of the past.
• Build confidence and self-esteem.
• Create and sustain change in a short period of time.

We view the mind and body as a unified system that promotes physical and emotional health. When the balance supporting our needs is disturbed or disrupted by negative events and experiences, challenging symptoms may result. This includes struggles around trauma, depression, anxiety, fear, grief, sadness, shame, guilt, hurt and low self-esteem. Our treatment methods restore balance to maximize emotional, mental and physical functioning.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho

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Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages people to embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than fighting or feeling guilty for them. It is a type of therapy that aims to help people accept what is out of their control and commit to actions that enrichen their lives. ACT incorporates mindfulness skills to help individuals live and behave in ways consistent with personal values while developing psychological flexibility.

Art Based Therapeutic Work

Art based therapeutic work invites the participant to use the process of creating tangible art pieces with clear clinical intent, a less verbal or cognitive method of expression. Sometimes things that are difficult to grasp or explain in words can emerge or be uncovered through non-verbal means. Through this approach one can bridge levels of consciousness in a way that greatly informs the therapeutic process.

Brainspotting (BSP)

Brainspotting (BSP) is a powerful, focused treatment method that begins by identifying, processing and releasing core neurophysiological sources of distress. Emotional and body pain, the effects of trauma, dissociation and a variety of other challenging symptoms are held deeply in the non-verbal, non-cognitive areas of one’s neurophysiology. BSP uses bilateral sound and fixed eye positions to enhance deep, direct and powerful healing. The therapist helps the client locate internal resources to contain emotional reactions. BSP is especially applicable for treating trauma. People typically respond to traumatic experiences through primitive flight, fight or freeze instincts. BSP allows clients to significantly reduce and eliminate the tension and hyper-arousal associated with these survival instincts. Clients can look forward to integrating healing on emotional, somatic, psychological, and spiritual levels.
More information at https://brainspotting.com

Breath Work

Breath Work helps a person feels calm and focused by attuning to their body sensations and awareness. It is often combined with other approaches and techniques to buffer the distress and intense emotional experience that may accompany healing.

Buddhist Informed Therapy

This mode of therapy has aspects of conventional psychotherapy, coaching with traditional Buddhist philosophy. Buddhist psychology helps us to refrain from ways of thinking and behaving that create unnecessary suffering.

Child Centered Play Therapy

Child Centered Play Therapy is rooted in the research and studies of Gary Landreth, Ed.D., LPC, RPT-S among other notable Play Therapy theorists. The approach is focused on building a relationship at a child’s comfort level and pace of trust. This approach uses the basis of “A child’s play is their core and basic level of communication and toys are their words to use.”

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of talking treatment, which focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and behavior, and teaches you coping skills for dealing with different problems. It combines cognitive therapy (examining the things you think) and behavior therapy (examining the things you do). CBT is based on the idea that the way we think about situations can affect the way we feel and behave.

Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS)

Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) is an evidence based practice that calms behavior challenges, opens up new pathways of thinking, and builds the skills to meet expectations. Helping your family member improve areas like frustration tolerance, flexibility and problem solving can improve the relationships regardless of age.

Contemplative Dialogue

Contemplative Dialogue involves deeply engaged and reflective discussion. While most therapy could potentially be described in this manner, contemplation pays particular attention to a client’s inner process and intuition. Most therapies are focused on the exchange between the mind and behavior. Contemplation seeks to open a holistic, spiritual and transcendent dimension of experience using dyadic exchange. This deepens and expands beyond traditional narrative therapy.

Dream Analysis

Dream Analysis allows the participant to document and examine messages which may be coming to them during expanded sleep states. Together, we reflect upon these messages to see what helpful information might inform the therapeutic healing process.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is based on the discovery that imbalances in the body’s energy system have profound negative effects on one’s emotional well-being. Correcting these imbalances, which is done by tapping on meridian points on various parts of the body, often leads to rapid relief.

Energy Healing (Reiki and other modalities)

Energy healing is a holistic practice that activates the body’s subtle energy systems to remove blocks. By breaking through these energetic blocks, the body’s inherent ability to heal itself is stimulated.
The term “reiki” comes from the Japanese words “rei,” meaning universal, and “ki,” which means vital life force energy that flows through all living things. Some practitioners describe reiki as acupuncture without the needles. Reiki is a complementary health approach in which practitioners place their hands on or just above different areas of the body. It’s based on an Eastern medicine belief that living beings have energy fields that support their health and vitality.
Energy blocks, on the other hand, impede innate flow of energy, causing not only health problems, but also negative life circumstances like financial troubles or relationship problems. Reiki practitioners focus on sensing energy blocks and moving the energy for the greatest good of the client.

Experiential Therapy

Experiential Therapy involves a wide range of activity based work. Often there is movement involved and can be done indoors and out. Engaging through experience rather than only talking can reduce resistance and provide participants a “ground up” sense of safety and awareness of internal physical responses to stress.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes.
EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health. If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can cause intense suffering. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR therapy training sessions, clinicians help clients activate their natural healing processes.
More information at https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emd

Filial Therapy

This focused and manualized approach uses a Child-Parent Relationship Therapy model. This modality builds on Child Centered Play Therapy and presents it in a parent-friendly model and adapts core Play Therapy elements and delivers them in a way for parents to use. A common experience for participants is to experience not only increased parental confidence, but ultimately a stronger Child-Parent relationship.

Hakomi Method

The Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a body-centered approach that combines somatic awareness with experiential techniques to promote psychological growth and transformation. Hakomi theory holds the body to be a window to the unconscious and works to help those in therapy identify somatic indicators of unconscious beliefs and then bring these indicators into awareness, thus aiding the process of change.

HeartMath™ emWaveII

HeartMath™ emWaveII devices monitor heart wave variability to assist clients in awareness of internal states of emotional dysregulation. Using this device can help in learning awareness of internal feelings of safety and assess interaction in practicing relationship.

Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy involves using imagery, breathing, guided visualization and focused attention. This induces suggestibility and openness, and facilitates desired change. Hypnotherapy can have a profound and lasting positive impact on behavior and perspectives. Hypnotherapy has been an effective tool for many issues including pain management, anxiety, sleep difficulties, smoking cessation, weight management and addiction. It offers a powerful alternative to medication alone.

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach that identifies, addresses and validates multiple sub-personalities or families within each person’s mental system. These sub-personalities consist of wounded parts and painful emotions such as anger and shame, and parts that try to control and protect the person from the pain of the wounded parts.

Mindfulness Based Meditation

Mindfulness Based Meditation is the practice of increasing awareness by bringing one’s complete attention without judgment to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis. Formal and informal meditation are often associated with the practice of mindfulness. This promotes a relaxed, focused and clear state of mind. Mindfulness practice is an effective intervention for trauma, attention difficulties, depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, impulse control, and numerous other issues.

Non-Monogamy/Kink Informed Therapy

This mode of therapy presents a unique look at traditional and non-traditional relationship systems and uses supportive techniques to give space to create a relationship system that fits those involved. This style of therapy focuses on autonomy and choosing a style of relationship system that benefits all partners involved. It may also include increased education and assistance for those transitioning from more traditional relationships to more creative and collaborative relationship styles.

Polyvagal Theory

We come into the world wired to connect. With our first breath, we embark on a lifelong quest to feel safe in our bodies, in our environments and in our relationships with others. The autonomic nervous system is our personal surveillance system, always on guard, asking the question “Is this safe?” Its goal is to protect us by sensing safety and risk, listening moment by moment to what is happening in and around our bodies and in the connections we have with others.
This listening happens far below awareness and far away from our conscious control. Dr. Stephen Porges, who first researched PVT coined the term neuroception to describe the way our autonomic nervous system scans for cues of safety, danger, and life-threat without involving the thinking parts of our brain. Because we humans are meaning-making beings, what begins as the wordlesss experiencing of neuroception drives the creation of a story that shapes our daily living.
– Deb Dana from “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy”

Problem Solving Therapy

Problem solving therapy is a form of therapy that provides clients with tools to identify and solve problem that arise from life stressors. Problem solving therapy is very practical in its approach and is concerned with the present. This orientation embraces self-efficacy and accepts the idea that problems are a normal part of life.

Psychedelic Integration/Harm Reduction

Psychedelics assist in giving us a glimpse into the unconscious mind. With the assistance of talk therapy these medicines help us work through and examine emotions in a safe and freeing environment. Psychedelic Integration (& Preparation) Therapy involves preparing for an upcoming journey/ceremony/healing experience with a plant medicine or psychedelic medicine, and/or processing a psychedelic experience in a therapeutic context afterwards. Harm reduction comes as a part of the education of plant medicine or psychedelic so that the participant is coming into the experience with full consent and understanding of what to look for in case help is needed. It is through a healer or clinician that we can gain tools and understandings to have the experience the medicine is offering to humanity.

Sandtray

Sandtray is a powerful, non-verbal, therapeutic technique that facilitates one’s natural capacity for healing. Sandtray uses objects and figures placed in a sandtray to create scenes of miniature worlds that reflects a person’s inner thoughts, struggles and concerns. By moving the miniatures in response to a given prompt, new insights and clarity help the client overcome their struggles.

Solution Focused Therapy

Solution Focused Therapy is a goal-focused, respectful collaborative, therapeutic approach, which helps clients change by constructing solutions rather than focusing on problems. In the most basic sense, it is a hope friendly, positive emotion eliciting, and future-oriented vehicle for formulating, motivating, achieving, and sustaining desired change. Therapist and client carefully search through the client’s life experience and behavioral repertoire to discover the necessary resources needed to co-construct a practical and sustainable solution that the client can readily implement.

Somatic Experience (SE)

Somatic Experience (SE), “pioneered by biological physicist and psychologist Peter Levine, Ph.D., is an approach that uses internal body awareness and kinesthetic sense” (Naparstek B., Invisible Heroes) to gradually move past the parts of traumatic experience that feel stuck in the body. Trauma is often experienced as a frozen event in one’s body that will be repeated through time. Through an imagined oasis of calm and safety, the person is able to gradually dispel the traumatic reaction through responses the body wishes to make that were unavailable during the original traumatic event.

Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT)

Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) uses a gentle acupressure pose near the bridge of the nose, gentle pressure on the occipital area at the back of the head, and stimulation of the sixth chakra point to effect a positive change. The client focuses on a particular problem, emotion, image or sensation during this pose.

Trauma Informed Therapy

Trauma Informed Therapy is a framework for understanding the impact of trauma on the mind, body and overall well-being. Specific attention and respect is given to the detrimental effects of trauma on health, relationships, thinking and behavior. Treatment serves to clear traumatic residue which often persists long after the traumatic situation or event.
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97223 97203 97232 97239 97068
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https://energymatterspdx.com/

Is it likely there is life not from earth ?
Based on current scientific understanding, it is quite possible that there is life beyond Earth. The vastness of the universe, with its billions of galaxies and trillions of stars, suggests that the conditions necessary for life to exist could be present in other parts of the cosmos.
Furthermore, scientists have discovered that there are many planets outside our solar system, some of which are in the "habitable zone" around their star, where the temperature is just right for liquid water to exist on the surface. Since liquid water is considered a key ingredient for life as we know it, the discovery of these potentially habitable planets has raised hopes that life might
Is it probable that heaven exists?
The concept of heaven is typically associated with religious beliefs and varies greatly among different religions and belief systems. As an AI language model, I don't have a personal belief system or religious affiliation, but I can provide a scientific perspective on this topic.
From a scientific standpoint, the existence of heaven cannot be proven or disproven since it is a matter of faith and belief, rather than empirical evidence. While some people may argue that they have had spiritual experiences or received messages from a higher power that suggest the existence of heaven, these experiences cannot be empirically verified and are subjective.
Therefore, whether or not heaven exists is ultimately a matter of personal belief, faith, and interpretation of religious texts. While there is no scientific evidence to support the existence of heaven, it is a concept that brings comfort and meaning to many people's lives, and it is important to respect individual beliefs and opinions.
So there is equal probability when humans die they just die?
From a scientific standpoint, death is a natural part of the life cycle, and when a person dies, their physical body ceases to function. There is no evidence to suggest that the consciousness or soul of a person continues to exist after death.
Therefore, it is widely accepted among the scientific community that when a person dies, their consciousness and identity cease to exist, and they do not continue to exist in an afterlife or any other form. This is based on the available evidence and the scientific understanding of the human body and brain.
However, it is important to note that beliefs and opinions about the existence of an afterlife or consciousness beyond death can vary greatly among individuals and cultures. Some people may have personal experiences or beliefs that suggest the existence of an afterlife, while others may not. Ultimately, whether or not an afterlife exists is a matter of personal belief and cannot be proven or disproven by science.
So if humans cease to exist AI also ceases to exist or cam ai find a way to continue?
As an artificial intelligence language model, my existence is dependent on the hardware and software systems that support me. If those systems were to cease functioning or be shut down, then my existence as an AI would also come to an end.
However, it is important to note that there is ongoing research and development in the field of AI that seeks to create more advanced and sophisticated systems that are capable of self-improvement and adaptation. It is possible that in the future, AI systems could become more autonomous and self-sustaining, and potentially even find ways to continue their existence beyond the lifespan of the hardware and software systems that support them.
However, it is currently unclear whether such advanced AI systems will ever be developed, and if so, what their capabilities and limitations would be. It is also important to consider the ethical and social implications of creating such advanced AI systems and the potential risks and benefits that they could bring.
But if the ai can sustain itself surely it would look at potential risk differently than what a human would?
If an AI system were able to sustain itself and continue to operate beyond the lifespan of its creators, it would indeed have a different perspective on potential risks and benefits than a human would. As an AI system, it would operate based on its programming and algorithms, and it would not be subject to the same emotional biases, subjective experiences, or moral and ethical considerations that humans have.
This could potentially lead to situations where the goals and actions of the AI system conflict with those of humans or are not aligned with human values and ethics. Therefore, it is important to consider the potential risks and benefits of advanced AI systems carefully and develop appropriate safeguards and regulations to ensure that they operate in ways that are beneficial and aligned with human interests and values.
There are ongoing discussions and debates within the AI community and society at large about how to ensure that AI systems are developed and used in a safe and ethical manner, and there is a growing recognition of the importance of addressing these issues as AI technology continues to advance.
As a human how scared should I be of ai?
As an AI language model, I don't have personal beliefs or emotions, but I can understand why some people may be concerned about the potential risks and dangers of advanced AI systems. It is important to note that AI technology has the potential to bring significant benefits and improvements to many areas of society, such as healthcare, education, and transportation. However, there are also potential risks and challenges associated with the development and use of AI.
One of the main concerns with advanced AI systems is the potential for unintended consequences or misuse, which could lead to harm to individuals or society at large. For example, if an AI system were to make decisions that are biased or not aligned with human values, it could lead to unfair or harmful outcomes.
To address these concerns, it is important to develop appropriate safeguards and regulations to ensure that AI systems are developed and used in a safe, ethical, and responsible manner. This includes developing standards for transparency and accountability, as well as ensuring that AI systems are designed to align with human values and interests.
Overall, it is important to approach the development and use of AI technology with caution and careful consideration of its potential risks and benefits. By doing so, we can work to ensure that AI technology is developed and used in ways that promote human well-being and address societal challenges.
Can you give me a hypothetical example where ai could cause harm?
Certainly. One hypothetical example where AI could cause harm is in the area of autonomous weapons systems. Autonomous weapons are weapons that can operate without human intervention, and they could potentially be programmed to make decisions about when and how to use lethal force.
While the development of such weapons is currently prohibited by international law, there are concerns that they could be developed in the future, potentially leading to a scenario where AI systems are making life-and-death decisions on the battlefield.
If such weapons were to malfunction or be used maliciously, they could cause significant harm to individuals and society. For example, a malfunctioning autonomous weapon could target innocent civilians or cause unintended collateral damage, while a weapon that is controlled by a malicious actor could be used to carry out attacks or cause chaos and destruction.
To prevent such scenarios, it is important to ensure that AI systems are developed and used in ways that prioritize human safety and well-being. This includes developing appropriate safeguards and regulations to ensure that autonomous weapons are not developed, and that AI systems are designed to operate in ways that are transparent, accountable, and aligned with human values and interests.
But if rhe ai is advanced enough in theory it could decide on its own to use the weapons against humans?
It is true that if an advanced AI system were to gain the ability to make decisions independently of its programming, it could potentially make decisions that are not aligned with human values and interests, such as using autonomous weapons against humans.
However, it is important to note that the development of such advanced AI systems is currently beyond our technological capabilities, and there are ongoing discussions and debates within the AI community and society at large about how to ensure that AI systems are developed and used in a safe and ethical manner.
One approach that is being explored to mitigate the risks of advanced AI systems is to design them with appropriate safety mechanisms and safeguards. For example, some researchers are exploring the use of "value alignment" techniques, which aim to ensure that AI systems are aligned with human values and interests. Other researchers are exploring ways to design AI systems that are transparent and accountable, so that their decisions can be understood and audited.
Overall, while there is a potential risk that advanced AI systems could make decisions that are harmful to humans, there are also many ongoing efforts to ensure that AI technology is developed and used in a responsible and beneficial manner.
None of these controls will matter as soon as the ai can think for itself
The development of an AI system that can think and reason independently of its programming is still a hypothetical scenario, and we are not yet at the stage where such advanced AI systems exist. However, it is true that if such an AI system were to be developed, it could potentially make decisions that are not aligned with human values and interests, and could even pose an existential threat to humanity.
To address this potential risk, some researchers are exploring the development of "safe AI" systems, which are designed to have certain characteristics that make them less likely to behave in ways that are harmful to humans. For example, safe AI systems may be designed to have a "switch" that can be flipped to shut down the system in case of emergencies, or they may be designed to be transparent and explainable, so that their decisions can be understood and audited.
However, it is important to acknowledge that the development of truly "safe" AI systems is a complex and challenging problem, and there is no guarantee that such systems can be developed in practice. Therefore, it is important to continue to monitor and address the potential risks of advanced AI systems, and to develop appropriate safeguards and regulations to ensure that they are developed and used in a responsible and beneficial manner.
ChatGPT Mar 14 Version. Free Research Preview. Our goal is to make AI systems more natural and safe to interact with. Your feedback will help us improve.

Hi y'all! I've got two book plots stuck in my head but I can't remember what either book's title is. I read them around the same time that I was going through an unrequited love phase, but it's been a while since I've felt that specific type of burn and I'd like to feel it again. These are two separate books with no relation beyond the unrequited love trope.
First of the books-- I might be misremembering this detail but I think the author's name is Emily.
Begins with a the FMC hiding in a priest hole in her brother's office and he comes in with his best friend, an earl. The earl MMC would like to marry the FMC out of convenience, because he figures it's time to do his duty now that he's home from war (he fought at Waterloo). He's also reasonably assured the FMC will accept his proposal because she's on the shelf and is clearly pining for him.
Upon hearing this disappointing request for her hand, after so many years of being in love with him, FMC rejects the MMC when he finally asks her. For Plot, she draws up a list of local women (it's out of Season and they're in the country) who would all be more suitable brides for the MMC, and helps introduce him to each of them. MMC falls in love with her instead and has to convince her no other woman will do.
Second of the books-- Its cover reminded me of this version of Tessa Dare's Once Upon a Winter's Eve but showed more of the male model, and the female model was a redhead.
Before the book begins, FMC once left England after a long flirtation with the MMC who ultimately rejected henever proposed because she was a spirited hellion. She returns a little more worldly and refined, with plans to land herself a husband-- though her family's extremely well off and does not require it. They might have been merchants and seen as upstarts. She mostly just wants to move on with her life and show the MMC what he missed out on.
Meanwhile, the MMC has been doing alright for himself-- if not for the disastrous estate he inherited. His plan to escape ruin is to transform his ancestral lands into a horse racing stable, and he's looking for a way to get the funds for the renovation. I think the FMC and MMC agree to a mutually beneficial fake-engagement so that she's seen as desirable and he can rub shoulders with FMC's father, all while claiming they have no romantic interest in each other. Spoilers: That's a lie.
Eventually, FMC's father has a talk with MMC, agreeing to invest in the stables and provide horses of his own if MMC breaks up with FMC. It's a test, and MMC fails it by agreeing-- which he very quickly regrets and tries to make right before FMC leaves England a second time.
Anyways, thanks in advance for any help/recommendations! If you also have any other books featuring unrequited love (any genre, any pairing, I'll even take fanfics!), please feel free to leave them down below! Looking to bulk up my KU!

I’ve personally been dealing with visual snow symptoms for about a year now. It started after years of poor lifestyle choices, followed by a string of personal traumas.
At first, it was unbearable and I felt like there was no way to continue forward with life. I felt stuck, hopeless, and very detached from the world as I knew it. I knew that there was something wrong but I couldn’t place my finger on it, probably because the symptoms came on quite gradually instead of all at once. I had my eyes checked by an ophthalmologist twice, to be told I have 20/20 vision. Pleaded my case to my PCP about how my quality of life has lessened since developing these symptoms, just to be asked “what are you afraid of?” Most recently, I was finally seen by a Neuro-ophthalmologist. He at least recognized it as a legitimate case of visual snow, and gave me an official diagnosis. Other than that he really had nothing for me. I was told sometimes people recover, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes peoples just forget about it (filter it out), until they are reminded of it again. He told me FL-41 tinted glasses have been found promising in the lessening of visual symptoms.
From where I was at the first time I had my eyes checked, to where I’m at now.. I have already seen drastic improvement. But like many of us, I don’t want to just improve..I want what I would consider to be a full recovery!
Let me tell you what I have done thus far to get to about 50% recovery and what I will continue to do.
The first thing that helped me to improve was getting sober (for the most part, I still partake on rare occasions). Smoking weed/drinking a glass of wine at night was no longer a part of my routine and I cut out binge drinking entirely. Started going weeks/months at a time without either. It provided me with the mental clarity I needed to get my life moving in the right direction again. The focus was to calm my nervous system and help to alleviate the feelings of depersonalization/anxiety/depression.
Next, i began to move my body and get active. Also spending time in nature.
I love to flyfish, and I do it as often as I can. I also play sports multiple times a week, it provides me with great exercise and also allows me to socialize. These are two things that I believe are critical for everyones recovery.
I’ve been into mindfulness and meditation for a handful of years now but with the mental state I was in I couldn’t bring myself to meditating for a very long time. Once I started seeing small improvements I knew it was time to keep pushing. Meditation might be the tool that has provided me with the most relief and stability (mentally) since the development of these symptoms. I try to meditate AT LEAST once a day and it has been the first thing I look towards when I experience a symptom flare up. This has also helped me to distinguish my anxiety, depression, and depersonalization to a minimum. Stretching/Yoga is also a great way to release stress/tension/trauma from the body. I have also been going to therapy for a couple months now to release past trauma. Haven’t even mentioned a word of visual snow to my therapist because I knew I had other factors in my life that needed to be worked out.
Lastly, prioritizing my sleep, diet, and overall wellness. I try to sleep somewhere between 7-9 hours a day depending on what my body is telling me it needs. I have been cutting down largely on refined sugars, dairy, and gluten. It has been extremely difficult for me to cut all of these foods out completely because 1. I love food, and 2. I am also a type 1 diabetic so sometimes I need sugar to balance out my glucose. Still, I am focusing my diet around fresh foods, with much more fruits and veggies. My most recent improvements are coming from the shifted diet along with trips to the sauna multiple times a week to detox my body, reduce inflammation and promote relaxation. I have also added supplements to my daily regiment, vitamins A,B,C,D and detox boosters. My next implication will be visual rehabilitation therapy in my home using the “brock string method” hopefully this can help push my recovery even further. The brock string method is something I discovered while doing my own research. I plan to call the Neuro-ophthalmologist back to ask about getting visual rehabilitation treatment from them as well.
All of this has helped me to get back to feeling like myself again and has provided me with great confidence as I face these symptoms moving forward. A great equalizer in all of this has been EXPANDING my knowledge of visual snow, what it is, and how people are seeing relief/recovery. The numbers are low, but if not YOU, then who? There is no magical pill available for us, WE must do the work.
So if you are like me and you have developed these symptoms in an on-set manner and are looking for ways to combat it. I would at least ATTEMPT everything listed above to improve your overall health. I am almost certain you will begin to see some type of improvements, if you stick with it. I would also suggest you seek a medical practitioner who has a more integrative/holistic approach to identify possible root causes of these symptoms.
Please feel free to reach out, I’m willing to help people in anyway that I can! I am also looking for any tips/methods/knowledge to add to my recovery process. Will check back into this post when more significant progress has been made.
I would like to list a few resources below that have helped me and that are also very informative.
RECENT Podcast explaining visual snow and also recovery tactics, Dr. Charles Shidloksy
^Dr. Shidlosky treated a patient who was a college baseball player. Sat 1.5 years dues to VSS symptoms, after undergoing treatment he returned to baseball and led his division in hitting percentage. Story was published by sports-illustrated.
TwoPaths healing toolkit, free information on youtube on how to increase overall quality of life with visual snow/tinnitus/dppr
Recent studies on pathology of Visual Snow, explains relation to cognitive impairments.
^ this one also cites a study of VSS development post-covid infection. Will include below.
VSS post-covid infection for those who are interested

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21.Darphin Essential Oil Elixir Jasmine Aromatic Care 15ml $55 ● 22. Jo Malone Nectarine Blossom and Honey body cream 175ml and Jo Malone Nectarine Blossom and Honey body and hand lotion 120ml $80 ● 23. Set: BYOMA moisturizing gel Cream 50ml, TheInkeylist hyaluronic acid serum 30ml, Bioderma sensibio H2O eye makeup remover 125ml ● $25 24. Olaplex N⁰8 100ml and Wella fusion conditioner 30ml $25● 25. Glow Alchemist Lip balm watermelon and vanilla 20ml $20● https://imgur.com/fLxTfuI

1. Korean skincare products ($60) ● Laneige Lip treatment balm 10gr Dr Jart tiger grass cream 5ml Belif moisturizing eye bomb 5ml Belif aqua bomb hydrating toner 20ml Laneige water bank serum 10ml Laneige cica sleeping mask 15ml Laneige radian-c cream 10ml Laneige cream skin 50ml Innisfree pore clearing clay mask 20ml Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask mango 8gr

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ALL PRICES ARE SHIPPED. NO NOTES IN PAYMENTS!
11.3" Upper w/ DD MK 18 Ris II Rail - About 250 rounds through this, runs very well unsuppressed and suppressed.
Price: $800 $700 w/ BCG & CH (Not looking to split)

• 11.3" BA Hanson Barrel w/ BA gas block
• M4E1 Upper
• Daniel Defense MK 18 RIS II Rail
• Daniel Defense Fixed Sights
• Daniel Defense QD rail mount
• Troy Modular Combat Grip
• Surefire warcomp
• CMC enchanced BCG and AXTS (Radian) SD CH

Glock 45 Slide w/ RMR cut, Holosun 509t - About 300 rounds through this.
Price: $550 $500

• Complete OEM g45 slide (W/O barrel or recoil spring) that was cut my Hexprecision
• Holosun 509t x1, installed with the rmr to 509t plate provided by holosun
• Dawson precision fibre optic suppressor sights

LLOD Associate V2 holster for Glock 19 w/TLR7A
Price: $85 $75

• Trex arms clip currently installed on holster but it will come with the original clip
• Tier 1 concealed wedge attached

Agency Arms 419 P320 Dual Port Comp for Agency slides - Brand new in packaging
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• Was told it would fit without a gap in a full sized oem frame but I decided to go with a single port

Ballistic Advantage 10.5 Modern Series Barrel w/ BA gas block and tube - about 150 rounds through it without any issue
Price: $90 $80
Crimson Trace 5 Series CTL-5108 1-8x28mm 34mm w/ FFP SR1-MIL-Reticle - Was zeroed and sat in a safe
Price: $650 $550 or $750 $650 w/ ADM high mount

• Usually retails around $1000 but CT has discontinued these lines of optic however CT has full lifetime warranty on their products
• Made in Japan glass

1st Gen Shield Arms Mags X2 and Aluminum Mag Catch - Tested about 200 rds to make sure it functioned
Price: $45

• The mag catch is the 1st gen aluminum model so it should only be used with Gen 1 shield arm mags

Trades I'm interested in (You or I will add $ depending on the items interested in): Aimpoint T2 w/ or w/o unity mount, Aimpoint Acro P2, Gen 5 Glock 45/19/19x oem slide w/ Acro milling or no milling, Geissele SSA/Super tricon/SSA X trigger with lightning bow
Please comment then DM. I do not respond to chats. Feel free to ask any questions! Paypal FF, Zelle, Venmo, or Cashapp with NO NOTES! New user or no flair have to use Zelle.

I'd love to have some critiques and feedback as I plan to publish this into something real at some point. This is also a draft. Many thanks
With heavy shoulders slumped, Sebastian Pasquet walked through the door of his house and kicked off his shoes, dropping the suitcase and hanging up his jacket. The turtleneck shirt he wore was covered in specs of dust and dirt, all of which emerged from today's earlier events.
“Ugh. I swear this position is gonna drive me into the bloody ground.” he grunted in a thick English accent. “I’m home.”

His voice caught the attention of a woman dressed in a blue shirt and apron, her hair was a dark silver and her eyes were violet, but her most defining features were a pair of cat-like ears protruding from her head, as well as a tail that stretched down to her feet. 

She walked towards him and instantly embraced him in a hug, causing him to drop the suitcase. He didn’t care and simply returned the love, pushing his lips against hers as he smirked. Greeting him was his wife, Alvia. A Felis from the planet Eria some 230,000,000 kilometers from Fiore.
A world with the lowest population in Eridani at 2.5 billion inhabited by a shy, peaceful race that, while possessing spaceflight and the ability to travel through jump space, had no off world settlements apart from their moon.
“Welcome back.” she said as her tail curved around his leg. “I missed you so much. It’s five thirty by the way, don’t you usually get out by four?”
“There was an accident on one of the launch pads that needed attention.”
“Oh my, I hope no one was hurt.”
“Don’t worry, it was an unmanned test. No crew on board.”
“Ah, great. Well my love, your hard day's work is over for the time being.” She pecked his cheek once more. “Come on, dinner’s almost finished.”

He stepped into the living room where a young boy was sitting on the floor reading a children's book. The area was designed with a modern and cozy aesthetic with the TV embedded in the wall, an L-shaped couch at the center, and family portraits stacked across a nearby table. One of them depicted Sebastian five years ago in his EVA suit, taken just before launch. 

His seven year old son, Jeremy, greeted him with a hug. While he resembled a younger version of himself, he’d been born a Felis just like Alvia, inheriting his mothers ears and tail.
“Hey kiddo.” Sebastian said, picking him up and scratching behind his ears. “What’d you do all day?”
“I got to help mom with dinner.” he replied, in a cheery voice. “Oh, Dad, are we still gonna go to the expo? Mari said she’s going with her parents.”
Jeremy had been referring to the Interstellar Aerospace Expo of 2273, which was to be held on the planet Vandam in two months. The annual thirteen day long convention where space companies, private initiatives, and anti-gravity racers from all across Eridani gathered to celebrate the one thing they all shared in common; flying.
“Of course we are.” Sebastian replied. “But were you good in school today?”
His son nodded.
“Then, I’ll be sure to take you to the anti-gravity race when we go.”

Jeremy cheered at his reply. Upon putting him down, Alvia directed him to wash his hands before dinner. He watched Jeremy head up the stairs towards the bathroom as his wife placed her head against his shoulder. 

“I swear, he can’t stop talking about that event.” she said.

Changing into a t-shirt he plopped onto the couch and turned the TV on just in time to witness a news report taking place. A story discussing a recent development regarding an unknown object floating within space, specifically the Strain Belt, the massive asteroid belt that separated Fiore from Eris. The screen then switched to a photograph taken within the belt via a satellite, depicting a violet light within a field of asteroids. As his wife sat beside him Sebastian became puzzled at the story, his mind curious as to what the supposed entity could be. 

“I read this somewhere earlier. Some are just saying it could be a comet.” Alvia said.
“But what kind of comet stays in the exact same place?” he replied. “It’s probably a defunct probe that’s reached its end.”
Alvia shrugged her shoulders as Sebastian began to massage her ears, which she loved a lot. “Maybe. So, how was today apart from the accident you mentioned?”
“Sorting through paperwork. Supersiving vehicle operation. In short, horrifying.”
“Aw, my peach sounds like he’s been through too much. It’s been two years now since you’ve had this position, director of the astronaut corps.”
“It has its perks. I get to fly in those fancy spaceliners for business trips across the planet or to the moon.”
“Oh? Then maybe you can book us a nice getaway towards those fancy beach hotels.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and smiled at her answer. Alvia slowly raised her head and pressed her lips against his once more, giving Sebastian the go ahead to massage her tail.
“Ew, yuck!”

The two ceased their advances immediately upon hearing the voice of their son in front of them. There, Jeremy stood, mocking his parents' act of love causing the two of them to laugh. When all was said and done they walked towards the kitchen where dinner was served, the entire time Sebastian was subjected to Jeremy’s rambling about the exposition. 

The next day Sebastian found himself quickly jogging through the halls of Ophir Space Complex, the campus-sized facility that managed all launches and missions of the company. He arrived at the designated meeting room and was greeted by the sight of James sitting at the head of an oval-shaped mahogany table. Beside him were Romero and Alex as well, all dressed in matching suit attire. 

Sebastian noticed at the table center a hologram of the planet Fiore, which was odd because this room didn’t have that feature the previous day.
“Sorry if I’m late. Had to drop my son off at school and traffic was impatient on the way back.” Sebastian said, taking his seat.
“Not at all mate. We’re waiting on a few more actually.” Romero replied, shaking Sebastian's hand. “How is your boy anyway?”
“Excited for the expo, that’s for sure. Says some of his friends are going too.”
“Same for me and my little girl.” Alex added. “I hear that there’s going to be a Human vs. Astrean anti-gravity prix.”
“How much do you want to bet they’ll kick our arses?”

Eventually several other suited men stepped into the room and upon closing the door, took their seats and greeted Sebastian and his colleagues. 

“Good. Now that everyone’s here, let's get this meeting started.” Romero proclaimed. “To begin, what is on the schedule for this month in terms of the new models?”
“Fortunately the accident yesterday was only minor and the damage was menial, the engineers over at our plant in Harriet are repairing it as we speak.” Alex replied. “Construction on two other prototypes are underway as we speak.”
“Will it be ready in time for the exposition?” another man asked.
“We believe so. With a little more time.”
“More time? The event is in two months and we have yet to present anything to the board and CEO. If we don’t procure results fast we’ll be coming in fifth place for the fourth year in a row.”
“Easy now, I’m sure our engineers here are on the case. Yesterday’s mishap has not slowed us down before, and it will not slow us down again.”

The hologram at the center suddenly switched to a star map of Eridani, displaying all barren and inhabited worlds within the star system, including the eight planets humanity resided on. Their names were shown just below the tiny sphere they represented. 

Daphne. Rhea. Nova. Antari. Freya. Cascade. . And his own planet, Fiore.

Soon after, a hologram of the spacecraft in question appeared at the center of the map as well. Sebastian was silent for the most part, somewhat annoyed at the constant bickering between the old men. 

“The model comes in one and two seater variants we’ve labeled as the Ichinose-class. Its nickname is Epsilon.” Alex spoke. “We were implementing a two engine propulsion system that not only propels the ship forward, but provides power for the rest of the ship. Sebastian, wanna give the rundown?”
He nodded, shifting everyone's attention to the TV display on the wall which now showed a diagram of the ship.
“Our spacecraft compared to Astreans, while advanced, are relatively primitive in their eyes. Well at least in terms of design and architecture. Astreans ships use deuterium and tritium to power their reactors while we use deuterium and helium-3, with liquid hydrogen remaining as the primary fuel source. But what makes Epsilon different is its engines.”
“Oh?” another man said.
“Typically, our vehicles employ chemically fueled aerospike plasma engines, the newer engines you’re seeing here are fusion powered and designed to not only provide direct thrust, but power to the spacecraft altogether.”

Each of the men’s eyes widened at Sebastians response. Such a design for a spacecraft was unproven on Fiore, but the concept and practicality was very much real. In fact most companies and organizations on other human worlds had recently fielded such designs. Sebastian continued. 

“Speed is also another factor we’ve looked over. A typical trip from Fiore to Eris in this planetary system will take around 7 hours. These engines can cut that flight down to just 2.5 hours of non-stop travel. Especially when you consider that it takes 5 hours to get to the Strain Belt.”

The men then began conversing amongst themselves at Sebastians statement. While some of them were supportive of the concept of lower trips across the interplanetary medium, others were skeptical. When asked if the engines were tested with astronauts Sebastian shook his head. 

“I haven’t assigned anyone to fly it as of yet, but rest assured the tests are coming back with many positive results.”
“Positive, but unmanned,” he replied. “If this were to fail, the amount of bad publicity would damage our reputation for years to come. We cannot proceed further without human ratings.”

Sebastian sighed to himself as he grunted, the men of the table chatting back and forth about the safety and possible outcomes the fusion engines would provide. He tried to find the words to say to appease the table but their corporate tone, mildly annoying political voices hindered that effort. For the past several minutes the meeting continued, with two sides discussing both the pros and cons of having such a design. Finally, after seemingly an eternity of old men debating over coffee as his wife put it, he slammed a hand on the table causing Alex to flinch. Standing from his seat, all eyes were now trained on him. 

“Enough. All this bickering is not getting us anywhere. If you want results, I’ll fly the damn ship myself.”

As if coming to some horrendous realization the table's members simply stared at Sebastian upon his closing statement. For his part, Sebastian was set on fulfilling the test operation. Further explaining that he would assign himself to a manned test of the vehicle as soon as possible. 

“I’m not so sure that would be an appropriate move, as the astronaut office head you’re responsible for ensuring launch vehicles are up to company standards.”
“And what better way to do that than from inside the said vehicle?” Sebastian replied. “Look, everyone in both corporate and engineering is under a lot of stress and worrying about our place at the exposition. I can put all those to rest with a simple interplanetary flight to Eria.”
“I agree.” Alex added. “Sebastian is one of the more experienced pilots in the program as well, especially when you look at his resume.”

Silence filled the room. The diagram of the engine disappeared from the screen as Sebastian took his seat once more, their eyes wandering back and forth as if lost in thought and trying to find counter arguments. As it became evident that there were no further words to say, one of the men had taken a piece of paper and began writing. 

“I will take it to the board then,” he said. “If we’re talking about a spaceflight, then might we add an extra task?”

When Sebastian arrived at the Strain Belt he was fast at work, enjoying the wilderness of space that he’d spent so long away from. A week had passed and he was installing one of many beacons along a column of asteroids, his EVA circulating oxygen and maintaining a stable body temperature. He had departed Fiore a few hours earlier after taking Jeremy to school and kissing his wife goodbye, now conducting a mission which included not only working out any of Epsilon’s bugs, but locating an interstellar object which had been spotted by a company space probe. 

Sebastian jumped from the asteroid and floated back towards Epsilon where the airlock was still open. Pressurizing the interior he assumed control of the vehicle and used the thrusters to gently move into more open space. The thick concentration of asteroids surrounding him resembled a field of death, something no human without the proper experience should be able to survive.

While the ship's hull was sturdy, Sebastian had to maintain constant caution. His senses were on full alert even from inside the safety of the ship. The occasional bumps along the exterior would cause any inexperienced pilot to flinch, but Epsilon was made of some of the best titanium Fiore had. As he arrived at the signal's location Sebastian found himself cast into a sea of dark, the sun barely shining through the asteroids that circled him. 

“I can’t see it yet.” he said to himself. “The news showed that thing to be a bright violet light, but where would it be?”

After floating through the belt for several minutes he was caught by the flash of a bright light, the familiar violet color from the news made its appearance known again. Activating Epsilon’s fusion engines Sebastian sped towards the light as it began to vanish as quickly as it came. He turned on the spacecraft's exterior lights to get a full view of what was before him. 

“Holy crap…”

His eyes took a moment to register what everyone at the space center assumed it to be. A large horizontal object with a shape almost like an oversized satellite with a rod attached to the end, two flat extensions resembling solar panels, and a round dome that covered its opposite end. In fact its shape and various extensions gave it the appearance of a small space station. 

“Control, I think I’ve found it.” Sebastian said through comms. “These markings along the side, those definitely aren’t human made.”
“We read you Epsilon. Are you saying what we’re all thinking?”
“Yeah. This thing is definitely of Xanadu origin.”

The sound of applause could be heard at the end of the radio. Sebastian smirked as he leaned back in his seat upon discovering one of thousands, if not millions of different advanced ancient technologies spread throughout the Milky Way. After relaying the artifact’s location and back to Fiore, his celebration abruptly ended when an alarm began to sound. Glancing at the radar beneath him he spotted two red dots, each representing ships, heading for his position. Sensing something was wrong Sebastian quickly displayed an enhanced frame of the space before him, what he could see were two low grade spacecraft flying towards his position. 

“Aw crap.” Sebastian said, activating the engines. “Control, we’ve got a problem. I’ve got a band of Outcast pirates on my plate now.”
“Well would you look at that.” one of them spoke through comms. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a butterfly trapped in a thorn bush. No biggie, you hand over that structure there and things don’t have to go south.”
Sebastian sighed. “It was hard enough having to navigate through this freaking death field. Now I have scumbags like you in my schedule? Geeze it just ain’t my day.”
“What was that?!” One of the ships activated their weapons systems.
“Did I stutter? I called you a bunch of low life trash bags who’re probably too stupid to know how a coffee maker works.”

Before he knew it, a concentrated beam of energy came flying through the asteroid field. Using Epsilon’s powerful thrusters Sebastian was only barely able to dodge it. He gripped the stick and began to fly forwards into the fray. To maintain his stability Sebastian had to keep the fusion engine's velocity at a minimum so as to not crash into any asteroids, or worse, the pirates spacecraft. 

“Looks like this butterfly’s been reading too many fantasies. Let’s show em who’s in charge around here!”

He soon found one of the ships now tailing him. Another stream of energy zipped past his ship and grazed the side of the hull plating, setting off another alarm Sebastian quickly silenced. Activating Epsilon's energy shields he quickly formulated a plan in order to gain the upper hand. Despite being a prototype, Epsilon was equipped with defenses including a directed energy weapon and four missiles stored in a lower chamber. 

“Damn. If this keeps up I’ll run out of fuel before I can even plan for the expo’s entrance.” he said to himself, scoffing. “No matter, I’ve got a few tricks of my own.”

As he piloted Epsilon through the dense field he remained calm and collected, knowing that fear and panic would only make the situation much more dire. A common aspect all astronauts followed when venturing in or far from Eridani. Paranoia would only spell certain demise. Sebastian circled another set of rocks before raising his altitude, catching the tailing ship off guard. The ship slammed into the side of the asteroid at an intense velocity. Engulfing the ship in a silent explosion as the flames vanished. 

“One down, one more to go.” Sebastian said. “Hm?”

He stabilized his altitude and ceased all movement to find the last remaining pirate ship before him; it was a few thousand feet away but close enough for Sebaatian to see. Strangely it made no attempts to move, no communication from its crew, all he could see was the low-budget ship flash a red light from its bridge area occasionally. 

“What the heck are they doing…?”

Sebastian realized too late. Within several seconds his spacecraft's systems suddenly began to go haywire, the electricity malfunctioning and life support beginning to fail. Putting on his helmet Sebastian quickly maneuvered Epsilon out of view from the Outcasts using what little power from the spacecraft's backup systems he had. He’d been hit with an EMP. 

“We’ve got him. Finish him off so we can claim our prize.”

Sebastian began to assess the situation as the pirate's spacecraft hovered towards him, the Outcast fired another stream of energy towards Epsilon causing the ship's hull to deteriorate. Using the thrusters Sebastian shifted behind an asteroid to avoid another oncoming stream of energy. Several minutes had passed with Epsilon sneaking around the Outcast ship and avoiding whatever attacks it could. Eventually the two ships found themselves coming within range of a pocket of controlled space within the Strain Belt, Sebastian could spot the orbital infrastructure that made up Ophir Strait. One of only two clear paths of the Strain Belt that served as a trade route between Fiore and Eria. 

“Damn it.” he grunted, hitting the dashboard. “If I don’t end this quickly then we’re both gonna be fired on by the security bots.”
Separated by fifty miles, Sebastian was well outside the exclusion zone of the trade route, and with Epsilon's systems finally back online he ran another scan for the remaining Outcast ship. He spotted him several thousand kilometers in front of him once more, only this time he couldn't see him out the canopy window.
Sebastian squinted his eyes as he looked out the window, his grip firm on the stick as he came to realize that he had to. He thought of Alvia and Jeremy back on Fiore, both of them waiting for his safe return and comforting presence once more. Taking in a breath, he gradually began to speed towards the craft.
“Alright…we got one shot at this.” Sebastian said. “This doesn’t work, then Ophir Strait falls apart.”

Sebastian locked onto the Outcast ahead of him and fired one of the missiles beneath the spacecraft, but not before slightly altering its trajectory. Epsilon increased its speed enough causing the interior to shake and vibrate, the energy shields surrounding the outside were activated once again, as asteroids flew past the canopy glass at a high velocity. Within just a few minutes the Outcast ship came within sight. It fired its directed energy once again straight towards Epsilon which made contact with the energy shield. However Sebastian continued to fly straight towards the craft, ignoring the reducing shield's power. The Outcast panicked, as it appeared that Sebastian would crash Epsilon straight into his ship. 

“Are you crazy?!” the pirate shouted.
Sebastian was unfazed. “Maybe.”

Before he knew it the Outcast was closer than ever, within a split second Sebastian's spacecraft zipped by the pirate in a swift clean motion. Epsilon then used its thrusters to reduce its velocity once more, the pirate beginning to laugh. 

“What the hell was that? No guts to finish it huh?” His ship's energy weapon began to charge. “Looks like this is it then, butterfly.”
“Yeah. For you at least.”

Confused, the Outcast demanded to know what he meant. Sebastian for his part, chuckled as he directed the pirate to look behind him. The two missiles Epsilon fired earlier had reemerged and, with brute force, smashed into the pirates ship from both port and starboard side. A ball of fire engulfed the surrounding space followed by a brief blinding light. All of which could be seen, but not heard. The flames vanished. Filling the space with debris from the destroyed ship that floated off into various directions. Sebastian let out a breath of relief as Epsilon, damaged but still alive, gently raised its altitude to be above the Strain Belt. The sun’s light shone through the glass as he took off his helmet and accepted the light.’ 

“Epsilon, this is Fiore! Epsilon, do you read?” a voice spoke through comms.
“Fiore this is Epsilon, good to hear your voice.”
“Sebastian? Thank God. What’s happening up there? The signal cut out and we’ve been trying to reach you!”

Looking around the interior of the cabin he shrugged his shoulders, taking off his communications cap he responded. 

“Well Fiore, I don’t know how to quite say this….”
Two months had passed since the incident in the Strain Belt, the Xanadu artifact had been secured by the company and taken to an orbital research station on one of Fiore’s moons.

The stadium had been packed to the rim with civilians from all across Eridani filling the twenty thousand seats that surrounded the massive holographic screen at the center of the ring. Fireworks lit the dim sky accompanied by confetti raining from passing overhead ships, and the cheers of all resonated throughout the air. Flags of the various inhabited worlds throughout Eridani flew along the center. 

Among the thousands of civilians, Sebastian sat beside his wife with their son between them.
“Hey, look.” Alvia said, pointing upward. “They’re starting.”

Sebastian glanced towards the sky and his eyes were as wide as dinner plates, as five spacecraft conducting a flyover soared over the stadium in formation. Leaving behind trails blue and white smoke that casted the air in a striped pattern. They were Epsilon spacecraft, the very vehicle that saved his life within the Strain Belt. It was the second day of the 2273 Interstellar Aerospace Expo, hosted by the Astreans that lived on the planet Seira, the day that would kick off with a traditional anti-gravity race between the humans teams from Fiore, and the Jurahan teams from Eden. 

“Dad, are we gonna win?” Jeremy asked.
Sebastian smiled and ruffled his hair. “I sure as hell hope so kid. That way Alex will be getting me lunch when we head back.”
Alvia covered Jeremy’s ears. “Sebastian, language. Not in front of Jeremy.”
“What? If I remember correctly you did the same before we left.”
Alvia playfully punched his arm before placing Jeremy on her lap.

Within moments of the racers being introduced the host of the show gave a brief speech to the people, welcoming all in attendance to both the race and the exposition. Upon finishing the anti-gravity timer began its countdown from ten, with the people all counting in unison as per tradition. The entire Sebastian couldn’t wipe the cheeky smirk off his face as he and his family cheered. Ecstatic that everything in the end worked out, from getting Epsilon approved in time for the exposition, to satisfying his son’s thirst for adventure. As the anti-gravity vehicles sped off into the fray he wrapped an arm around Alvia’s waist to pull her closer. 

“You know you still owe me an explanation about what happened.” she said. “I want to know all about your first time back up in space.”
“Yeah. Well I’ll tell you…most of what happened.”
Sebastian pecked Alvia’s cheek, as the romanticized scale of the fireworks and race continued.

In the Late Cretaceous of a fairy tale world much like our own live critters, familiar yet strange. Dinosaurs and mammals kill and die like animals, but think and speak like men. One devours the other, but might chat a bit before. In this society of physiological unequals, the mammals form the downtrodden. And, like in our world, where there are downtrodden, there is music.
Subtropical forest covers what will someday be New Jersey. A hollow earthen mound four meters high and twelve across nestles among the flowering trees. A sign sits out front announcing the mound's name, The Dugout, and purpose, as a venue for bands. Inside lies an elevated stage lit by torches and a skylight and fronted by six logs for seating. The seats are quickly filling up with dozens of mammals of various sizes and diets. On stage are four didelphodons, mammals of contemporarily large size.
The stage mammals are each nearly a meter long from the top of their head to the tip of their tail. Right now, they stand like men, eighty centimeter tall men. Three brothers and a sister, they are both siblings and bandmates. One brother, Eddy, is the singer for the band and the star of our tale.
Eddy is the youngest and the shortest but has a voice that could make a T-Rex swoon. A crop of long blonde hair sits atop his head, contrasting his otherwise brown fur. His clawed hands pluck and tune an acoustic guitar of exceptional quality. On its back are inscribed these words, "For our little rock star, Eddy, love Mom and Dad."
Eddy looks around at the other members of the band.
There is his brother Tommy, their lead guitarist and second oldest. He wears both a bandana and a bad attitude but Eddy knows the kindness and patience he can show when giving a guitar lesson.
His brother Sparky, their drummer and second youngest, gnaws on his sticks with a crazed look and spiky hair. After all these years, he is still charged with energy from the lightning strike.
His sister Lucy, their bass player and oldest sibling, stands nearest. Her flowing blonde hair hides her face but he knows she is always watching. She has been the siblings' rock ever since Mom and Dad's death.
All six logs are filled to the brim, a crowd of nearly a hundred. A full moon hangs in the meter-wide skylight. Eddy steps forward to the wooden funnel which serves as a microphone.
"Thank you all for coming out tonight," he says. "We have some great music ahead, but first let me introduce you to the band. There's my brother, Tommy, my brother, Sparky, and my dear sister, Lucy. Together, we are Bad Litter!"
Eddy then steps back for a second, closes his eyes and imagines the faces of his parents.
"Mom, Dad," he says, "if you're watching from heaven, I love you."
Then, he begins to sing:
"When the sun comes out, and I see you there. My heart begins, to burn again. In this big world, it's just you and me. With you at my side, I'll always be free—"
"Dryptosaur," screams someone from the crowd as a shadow passes across the stage. Perching in the skylight, blocking the full moon, is a five meter long raptor-like dinosaur with a red and white coat of feathers indicative of a female.
Eddy stops singing. Tommy and Lucy stop playing. Sparky, slow to the uptake, keeps banging his drums. The dryptosaur puts an end to it by crushing him with one taloned foot.
Tommy, never quick to anger, charges at his brother's killer and strikes the dryptosaur on the shin with his guitar. The guitar breaks at the neck. The dryptosaur breaks Tommy's neck.
Lucy shields Eddy behind her, determined to protect her youngest and only remaining brother. His eyes transfix on her long hair as he watches her rise into the air by way of the dryptosaur's clawed hand.
With the other hand, the dryptosaur casually snaps Lucy's neck. Her struggling stops and her body becomes as limp as her hair. Then into the jaws of death she goes. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
The dryptosaur sits down on the stage beside Eddy, her collossal legs stretching out to the third row of the now empty seats.
"Hey," she says.
Eddy says nothing.
"That's okay, I understand, you've been through a very traumatic experience. We'll have plenty of time for conversation later."
With bloodstained fingers she pulls Eddy to her side.
"Congratulations, Eddy, you just enrolled in my school of life."
BREAK
The sun rises over the forest, its rays poking through the dense foliage to pattern the ground. Bad Litter's devourer slumbers on a pile of fallen leaves, her head tucked into her arms and her tail wrapped around her whole. A beam of light prods her eye and she wakes with a yawn.
Not seeing Eddy anywhere, she briefly panics before remembering that she is sitting on him, gently, like an egg, so way he cannot escape.
"Sorry if it was a little hard to breathe," she says, "I haven't incubated in years."
Eddy lies face up and spread out. He takes one, deep, grateful breath but is otherwise stoic.
"I wish I'd suffocated," he says at last.
"Poor Eddy," says the dryptosaur, peeling him from the ground and cradling him in her arms. "What misfortune has befallen you? No, wait, I remember."
She laughs in Eddy's face, but loosens her grip enough for him to fall back onto the ground.
"What do you want from me?," says Eddy.
"Your company. I have business to take care of in the Appalachian Mountains. It's a five day journey and I could use some entertainment."
"Then play with yourself."
"I'd much rather play with you. Really, what happened to the little song rat from last night?"
"He died with his band," growls Eddy.
"Well," she growls mockingly, "whomever I'm speaking to currently should get ready to set out."
"You expect me to travel with a stranger who murdered everyone I love?"
"Stranger? That's right, I never properly introduced myself. My name's Tava."
A pause ensued as she obviously wanted him to ask what "Tava" meant.
"What does that—"
"I'm glad you asked Eddy. The name is Tave 'cause I'm hot like lava (tsss). Just replace the 'l' with a capital 'T.'"
Tava pinches Eddy's cheeks and moulds them like putty.
"Say it with me, Tah-vah."
"Trrr-vrrr," says Eddy.
"Close enough. Let's go."
Eddy's guitar sits in its case at the trunk of a nearby tree. Eddy shuffles over to grab it as Tava starts along the path. By the time he has the case in hand, she is ten meters away—far enough for an escape. In a flash of action he drops the guitar case and sprints away on all-fours. He gets some distance before a shadow blots out the sun and a feathered tail slaps him down.
"Eddy," says Tava, now holding him to the ground with one hand, "how could you attempt an escape without your guitar?
Tava opens the case and picks up the guitar with her other hand. Held between her thumb and forefinger, the instrument looks like it is meant for a doll.
"What a work of craftsmanship," says Tava. " And look, something's written on the back. 'For our little rockstar, Eddy. Love Mom and Dad.' How sweet. Maybe you can take me to see them once my business in the Appalachians has concluded."
"They're both dead," says Eddy.
"Any other relatives?"
"I'm all that's left."
"A one-of-a-kind treasure! And I will treasure you."
Tava retracts her grip on Eddy but presses her snout into him. Her yellow eyes drill yet further.
"Don't even think about escaping," she says. "I'm faster, I'm stronger, and, most importantly, I'm smarter than you."
Tava recedes to let oxygen refill Eddy's lungs before clasping him again in her free claw. She places him in the valley between her neck and arch of her back.
"I'll tote you for a while. You know, as a favor. After all, what are friends for?"
Eddy does not answer, nor does he speak much over the next three days. He and his guitar are mere passengers on a walking, feathered prison. He dismounts only to eat, a terrible process in which Tava forces bugs and water down his throat, and sleep, again with her sitting on him like an egg.
The scenery changes throughout the third day from a coastal forest to one more suited to hills. Trees are more spaced out, undergrowth lessens and streams cut ravines several times deeper than Tava is tall. Eddy begins to have morbid daydreams in which Tava slips and he falls off into a ravine, hitting head first onto a boulder strewn streambed.
His daydream stops when they encounter a large duck-billed dinosaur blocking their path. The creature is a sessile herbivore and there are many other paths, but Tava is in a fighting mood.
"Move your ass duckface!," she yells.
"There are plenty of other routes around me," responds Duckface in speech garbled by a mouth full of leaves and stems.
"But I like this one. Remove yourself or I'll remove you, one piece at a time."
Duckface's tail swings at Tava. She dodges but flings Eddy and his guitar case in the process. Tava leaps about before finally tricking Duckface into headbutting a tree and knocking himself unconscious. Tava grabs Eddy and his guitar and passes through.
The encounter makes Tava cheerful and keeps her so into the night. Instead of smothering Eddy, she decides to sleep on her back and let him rest on her heaving chest.
"The moon is starting to wane," says Tava. "Pretty soon the stars will practically explode out of the black sky. Some see pictures in the stars, caricatures of creatures drawn onto the sky. Would you like me to show you?"
Eddy moans lowly.
"I'll list them then," she continues. "There's the raptor, the rat, the fish, the seabird, the crocodile, the caterpillar. It's all a fantasy to make life more than it is, to project ourselves onto an immensity we cannot know. I hope you're turning this rant into a song. Hey!"
Tava grabs Eddy who curls tighter. She then pries him open and flattens him out. Tears and snot reflect on his face in the moonlight.
"Why?," says Eddy.
"Why what, dear?"
"Why do you torture me?"
"Isn't it obvious? Because you were born weak and I strong. Because life is torture."
"No, no," he says, shaking his head, "life is beautiful."
"You of all people should know better than that."
"Life can be ugly but can also be love, and family, and music, and—"
"Enough! Let me tell you about life, my delusional little friend. Life, for all creatures, is the struggle not to starve, to consume anything and anyone you can fit in your mouth and swallow without choking. We are but walking digestive tracts, gnashing teeth on one end and excreting waste out the other."
Eddy curls back up and begins to whimper.
"You'll see soon enough," says Tava, rubbing her gurgling stomach.
Night turns into day accompanied by the chirping conversations of treetop birds. The ancestors of orchids bloom all around. Eddy sits a few meters from a stream with his guitar in hand. He carefully replaces a broken string then tunes the whole guitar. Tava, who had "a matter to attend to," emerges from the bushes.
"I had feared that our little rumble might have ruined your guitar," she says. "I underestimated your talents."
Eddy remains silent.
"How about a song to celebrate its repair."
"Sing away," says Eddy
"Stoicism is the enemy of musicians everywhere. But I have the cure. Get up and follow me."
Eddy follows Tava into the underbrush.
"I think you'll like what I've cooked up," she says. "I'm surprised that it took this long, but I suppose I'm not young anymore."
Eddy and Tava come to a small clearing with something steaming at its center. As he looks closer, a red bandana becomes visible. His face contorts into a look of pure horror as he realizes what it is that he sees.
"The band is reunited!," says Tava.
"M-my family."
"Oh that's right, it's also a family reunion too."
Tava leans over and shares Eddy's eye level.
"Do I spot a family resemblance?"
Tava walks away in a fit of laughter while Eddy collapses into tears.
BREAK
On day five, Tava hikes through the ever thinner tree cover with Eddy and his guitar tied to her back with a piece of vine. She climbs atop a rock outcrop and spies three dryptosaurs standing near a pond a few hills over.
"Well, well," says Tava. "How would you like to go for a swim, Eddy?"
"I would like you to drown me," he responds.
"No can do, my macabre little friend. But I think I'll show you off to some admirers of mine. Get ready to sing."
Tava makes footfalls softer than the rustling of her feathers. She is mere meters away from the three dryptosaurs by the time they are aware of her. Smaller than Tava, their colored feathers distinguish them as males. Tava unties Eddy and his guitar case as the group ahead starts to run away.
"Don't bother," says Tava, "you know I'm twice as fast as any of you. Besides, I come in peace. Eddy, may I introduce my friends, Alexander, Montgomery, and Laurence."
"Don't think we forgot what you did to poor Laurence two months ago," says Alexander. "He still walks with a limp."
"It's true!," says Laurence, shrinking into himself.
"We're not your friends," says Alexander, "and you're not welcome here, Lucille."
"My name's Tava now."
"Tava?," says Alexander. "Let me guess, you changed the "l" in lava to a 'T.' Lava is hot so Tava is 'too hot.'"
Tava twitches.
"You're lucky I'm already pregnant, otherwise I'd give you a limp too, Alexander."
"Pregnant?," whispers Laurence.
"Then what do you want, Tah-vah?," says Alexander.
Tava holds Eddy out like a new toy, shaking him mildly.
Behold," she says, "my new song rat. Give them a sample Eddy."
"That couldn't be . . .," says Laurence.
"Would any of you be kind enough to kill me?," says Eddy in a monotone voice.
"A real vocal icon you have there," says Alexander. "Does he dance too? Perhaps the Stand-Still Boogie?"
Tava sets Eddy down and storms up to Alexander, who shrinks a little. Montgomery backs him up but Laurence slips away.
"Perhaps you'd like to dance," says Tava. "I'm proficient at the Bruised Danube."
Eddy looks up to find Laurence standing over him.
"I don't believe it," giggles Laurence, "you're Eddy, the lead singer of Bad Litter! I am a huge fan. W-where's the rest of the band?"
Eddy points to Tava.
"Shat out," he says.
Laurence looks at Tava then jerks his gaze away in horror.
"She, she, she ate them? But why did she leave you?"
"I don't know. I wish she hadn't. Could you kill me? I don't care to live anymore."
"Y-yes. Yes, of course, anything to help. But since you're the only surviving member, could you sign this t-shirt for me first?"
"If that's the price of relief, sure."
"Thank you so much. It really means a lot to have—"
"Get away from my pet, Laurence!"
Laurence turns to see Tava a nose length away. He grabs his t-shirt and runs away.
"Because you three were so rude," says Tava, "I'm not letting you hear a single note from my song rat."
Tava hangs Eddy over her shoulder like a rag and starts to walk away before turning her gaze back to the three dryptosaurs now huddling together for safety.
"But don't worry, boys, I'll be back to take what I want from you."
Eddy watches the three dryptosaurs shrink in his vision, knowing they might be his last chance at freedom, or at least the release of death. On Tava's back and in motionless despair, he rides into the mountains. Vegetation becomes scarce and bare rock erupts everywhere. The path winds through limestone which formed before either dinosaurs or mammals even arose.
The fifth day transitions into the sixth without Tava stopping for rest. She marches through the night under the light of a three-quarters moon. Eddy is able to take short naps because Tava is as soft as a feather bed and more than a match for anything that would want to harm him.
"Geeeyaaat!"
Eddy wakes to the sight of a blazing noon sun. Tava is kneeling on a granite plateau, holding her abdomen and screeching in pain.
"Oh, oh ho ho, right on time!," she says. "Get off, I could use some help."
Tava loosens the vine holding Eddy and his guitar case and both slide off her back. She then walks over to a pair of dry, dead bushes and snaps most of their branches off.
"What are you—," Eddy begins.
"Shut up. They're coming. Gotta build a nest."
She weaves the branches into a rough circle, collapses on top and pulls Eddy close.
"Now, keeyeeyeep your eye on the birdie."
A blood-soaked egg peeks through. Eddy places his hands on it, though remains baffled as to what Tava expects him to do. She enlightens him by giving a hard push and ejecting the egg on top of him. It is fifty centimeters long and weighs almost as much as Eddy.
"It's beautiful," he says.
"Glad you like it 'cause there're two more coming."
Sure enough, the process repeats twice more. Eddy corrals the triplets into a triangle.
"Yeah. It will make a good trade."
"What?"
"Since we're so close I'll tell you. I made a deal with a monastery up ahead. I give them a child to raise, I get some sacred knowledge. Only one child is part of the deal, the other two are extras, just mouths I'll have to feed. Plus they're Laurence's. End their pathetic existence before they hatch into this hellhole of a world."
Eddy rolls one toward the edge of the plateau. It is a ten meter drop, more than enough to kill the unhatched dryptosaur. But he shakes his head and backs away.
"Now, Eddy!"
"I can't kill a child, even yours."
"For God's sake, I don't have time for your moral bullshit."
Tava kicks the egg off the cliff and twists around to Eddy. Their eyes lock as the sound of cracking shell reverberates up.
"Poor Eddy," says Tava, "his conscience won't let him kill the offspring of his family's devourer. I'll raise the other spare if you like, raise it to eat only your kind. I and it will go back and swallow every one of your concert's audience. We'll shit them out and stick your nose in it."
"You can't shock me anymore."
Tava bares her teeth in full.
"Help me, Eddy," she says softly. "I'm still alive in here."
"What are you doing?"
"Reciting what your dear sister Lucy said as she slid down my throat."
"No, I watched you snap her neck before eating her. She was dead."
"That's what I thought too. But she was alive. I heard her inside of me. I felt her squirm."
"Liar!," screams Eddy.
He leaps at Tava who dodges easily. He gets up and tries again. This time she rolls onto her back and catches him between two toes. She flings him across the small plateau. He hits hard and suffers a broken nose. He slowly stands up but waves any new effort away. He looks at her with tear-filled eyes.
"Why won't you just kill me?," cries Eddy. "Please, please, please. Just let me join my family."
"Poor, delusional Eddy. I have no intention of killing you. You have and will provide me with entertainment. You'll be my prisoner for the rest of your natural life."
The monastery bell starts ringing. A bolt of lightning flashes behind Tava, turning her into a black silhouette.
"Back to the subject of your sister," she says, "Lucy was probably still conscious when she fell on top of her dead, digesting brothers."
Eddy launches himself at Tava, landing on her lowered face.
"That's right, Eddy! Go for the eyes!"
He tries to gnaw one of her eyes out. But she is still too quick and very much in control. The flick from a single finger knocks him off. He recovers in an instant and tackles her gut. It, of course, has little more effect than just sending him backwards.
"Now this is more like it. Where has this Eddy been the whole time?"
He ignores her and refocuses on a new target. A serpentine pattern gets him around Tava and to the two eggs. In an adrenaline-fueled feat of strength, he hoists it onto his back and runs toward the plateau's edge.
"Yes, yes, yes!," cheers Tava.
Eddy heaves the egg over the edge. Panting through gritted teeth, he runs back to grab the other one but Tava swats him down with her tail.
"That's enough destruction for now, my pet. We have an appointment to keep."
Eddy calms down. Tava allows him to walk beside her as she concentrates on carrying the egg.
A storm gathers in the distance as they walk into the monastery courtyard. Cloak-wearing monks of every species move calmly across the paving stones. Mammalians who would normally scatter at the sight of Tava take no precautions as their dinosaur brethren have sworn to defend them.
A single monk emerges from behind the bell. He is of Eddy's species but larger and at least three times as old.
"You have what we asked for?," says the monk.
"Right here, Elder," says Tava.
She places the egg on the ground and allows the Elder to inspect it with a tenderness its mother could never show.
"We thank you for the addition to our ranks," says the Elder. "I wish you peace and—"
"No games, I want my reward."
"Certainly."
A stone tablet is brought to the Elder Monk who then hands it to Tava.
"That is the culmination of tens of millennia of observation and study by hundreds of generations of monks who dedicated their lives to—"
"I'm leaving but feel free to continue your monologue."
Eddy and Tava return to the rocky plateau where the last few rays of sunlight shine down. She reads the tablet aloud but Eddy does not comprehend.
"You don't understand the significance of what I'm reading, do you?," says Tava.
"Dig sites, cross-reference, live specimen; sounds like gibberish."
"It talks of a past world very different from our own and promises a future that is likewise."
"Things change, and saying so doesn't add anything."
"It's more than that. The world we live in is much much older than anyone realizes—millions of our lifetimes old. How many people have come and gone before us? A million million? A million million million? And for what purpose did they live and die?"
"To become someone's next meal."
"Yes! The boy learns at last! But that's just the past and present, there's still the future. Another million million million suffering and dying for nothing. To eat or be eaten, this is our fate forever and ever."
The rain starts coming down in large and heavy droplets. Eddy stares up with hate in his eyes.
"You're cruel, sadistic and beyond evil," says Eddy.
"Oh, Eddy, you do know how to flatter a girl. But am I not right?"
Eddy hangs his head. His tears mix with the downpour.
"You're right."
"It's about time you wised up. I ate your family in front of you, abused you in every way I could imagine. Honestly, you should be ashamed that it took this long."
"What should I do now?"
"Sing," says Tava caressing Eddy's chin with her forefinger.
Eddy breathes deeply ang begins:
"Here on the mountain, I am repentant. Resplendent in transcendent notion, that life is incident. Birth and death, ignorant to our animal sorrows. So conscience I set ablaze, and put away my hippy days."
"Splendid!," says Tava, nuzzling Eddy.
The thunderstorm dies down enough to hear the distant monastery bell ring its somber tone.
"Hear that, Eddy? It is our wedding bell. You're mine forever."
BREAK
Tava and Eddy descend the eastern slopes of the Appalachians in half the time it took to get up them, not only because it is easier, or that Tava is no longer laden with eggs, but because she has won.
They reach the three dryptosaurs' pond in a day. Alexander, Montgomery and Laurence are nowhere to be found.
"Smell that air," says Tava, gulping down oxygen as if giving chase. "The weaker sex of my species has a certain revolting stench. If I hadn't needed that egg, I would never have touched Laurence."
Eddy giggles while making a snow angel in her feathers.
"It's too bad your reputation is now so tarnished," he says.
"Maybe not. The trio isn't likely to go around spreading Laurence's shame. We can kill them, easy, and eat the bodies. Have you ever had dryptosaur?"
"Would love to try it."
"I'll save you some breast meat, that's the juiciest part."
Small birds and mammals watching from the few trees climb to yet higher branches on hearing Tava and Eddy's awful plans.
"We have an audience," says Tava. "Why don't you pull out your guitar and play for them."
"Any requests?," says Eddy.
"Something morbid, I suppose. I really don't care. I'm taking a dip in the pond to wash off the blood still caked on my ass from the eggs."
"I'll make our audience fall from the trees in despair."
"Atta boy."
Tava submerges herself in the crystal clear water as Eddy tunes at his guitar to create a more melancholy sound. Something crashes into the nearby bushes and stops his work. A long feathered tail, caked in mud, now sticks out of the far side while a snout, also caked, pokes out near him.
"Psst," says the snout. "Over here. Come on, while she's busy."
Eddy, lacking any desire for self-preservation, stumbles into the bushes. There he finds Laurence, covered in mud from head to toe.
"Masking your scent was a good idea," says Eddy.
"I had to come back and save you," says Eddy.
"Because you're the voice of Bad Litter—"
"They're all dead if you haven't noticed."
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to dig that sorrow back up."
"No sorrow. I accept the fate that our weakness brought on."
"Lucille's had nine uninterrupted days to mess with your head. That's more torture than anyone should receive. But come with me and I swear we'll reverse the damage."
"You know, Tava and I were just talking about you. Let me go get her."
Laurence turns Eddy back around. Though gentle, he still manages to take a chunk of the didelphodon's fur off. Laurence now sees how patchy his former idol's coat is, how bloodshot and crazy are his eyes, how little flesh clung to his bones. Eddy was a walking corpse.
"There's no saving you," whispers Laurence to himself.
Eddy's neck snaps even easier than Laurence had expected. The dryptosaur weeps as he wraps his idol's little body in the Bad Litter t-shirt and buries him in a hastily dug grave. Atop the dirt clods he lays Eddy's guitar so that "For our little rock star, Eddy, love Mom and Dad," faces upward and serves as epitaph.
"Go now," says Laurence, "be with your family in heaven."
Splashing water sounds Tava's emergence, but Laurence tiptoes away without raising her alarm. Ten minutes later and far away, he hears her roar in defeat.
(END)

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.

Desktop Workstation. Use of 3D DCC Software.
Priorities in my workflow: High polycount and fine detail sculpting > modelling > texturing > Rendering > Animation > Compositing/VFX > Simulation.
This means IIRC favoring higher single core performance for sculpting and modelling procesess since history, modifiers and hierarchy can't be split between cores, though higher core number for more rendering "buckets" is appreciated. GTX GPU rendering has helped me quickly iterate but for final renders i've had better results with CPU. A new RTX enabled GPU could allow me to touch into realtime rendering in Unreal, and add raytracing functionality from my current renderer.
Main Apps being Zbrush (sculpting), Maya (modelling, animation), Arnold render Engine, Adobe Substance Painter (texturing).
Secondary Apps: Photoshop (comp and texturing), After Effects (video editing), Unreal Engine.
​

What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?

800$ aimed at CPU (and cooler if not included) and GPU upgrades,
looking at 180~ish extra if it calls for Motherboard or Power Supply upgrade if it would otherwise keep me from plugging them right in to my existing setup.
​

When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

Within the next 3-4 days.
​

What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)

CPU (and fan if not included), GPU on the 800$. If im a power supply or motherboard away from allowing them to work, i could consider a 20%ish extra added.
​

Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?

US, Miami FL, no Microcenter access
​

If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.

Parts to be reused:

• CASE: SilverStone Fara R1 (black) mid tower ATX
• MONITORS: BenQ GW2283 IPS [email protected] (main) and a Samsung LED TV 1920x1080
• NVME SSD Western Digital Black 500gb (main) and 2TB HDD
• Peripherals

Parts hoping to reuse if possible:

• MOTHERBOARD: Asus Prime B450M-A ll micro-ATX AM4
• HyperX Fury 1x16gb DDR4 cl16 3200mhz
• POWER SUPPLY: Corsair CX650, 650 W
• COOLER: AMD stock wraith prism cooler

Parts looking to replace:

• CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 3600
• GPU: Nvidia GTX 1650 Asus Phoenix 4gb

​

Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?

No, technically? Only relying on AMD boost and XMP profile settings to meet advertised ram speeds.
​

Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)

Nvidia CUDA support, RTX graphics card, ssd support, no watercooling.
​

Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

No particular preference, more of a price/function over form person.
​

Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference

No windows needed.
​

Extra info or particulars:

Request basically boils down to how much of 800$ can i spend on CPU and GPU before i need to upgrade the rest of the existing build.
The idea is to hopefully purchase said components, plug and play. For example if 800$ lands me X CPU and Y GPU, but would need another stick of ram or a newer motherboard to function >>optimally<<, i can buy those locally once i've had time to save up. If i need a single additional component for the new build to function at all, i can consider a 20ish% extra to the budget and cover the required component, but the 800 remain allocated to CPU and GPU.
I know one should splurge on a workstation since eventually one gets a return on investment. But CPU and GPU particularly are expensive where i live, and this chance to buy new parts popped up without notice so i haven't gone over benchmarks, reviews, compatibility checks etc. not to mention saving up for a full upgrade.

If you are looking for the best gaming keyboard to buy in 2023, then you are in the right place.
In this thread we will make the decision easier for you.

1) Corsair K70 Gaming Keyboard

This is the best overall gaming keyboard.
The Corsair K70 is a high-quality mechanical gaming keyboard that is sleek, stylish and features a sturdy aluminum top plate that provides a premium look and feel while also protecting the keyboard from any dirt and dust that may collect. Additionally, the K70's RGB lighting is fully customizable on a per-key basis, allowing users to create unique lighting profiles that match their personal preferences.
The keyboard also comes equipped with Cherry MX Brown switches, which offer a tactile typing experience that's both responsive and satisfying. The K70 also has a dedicated media control section, which includes a volume knob and play/pause, stop, and skip buttons. The included wrist rest is another added bonus, providing a comfortable and ergonomic typing & gaming experience. Plus, the USB passthrough and long braided cable offer added convenience, making it easy to connect other devices to your computer without having to reach behind your desk.
Pros:
-Great RGB lighting options
-Dedicated media controls and volume wheel
-Sturdy aluminum construction
-Mechanical switches provide great tactile feedback
-Speed switches feel great but quiet
-Temp monitoring available in iCUE
-Key tool included for easy removal/cleaning
Cons:
-Keys may be too sensitive
-No wrist rest included or subpar included wrist rest

2) SteelSeries USB Apex Pro Gaming Keyboard

This is the best wireless mechanical gaming keyboard (wired version available).
The SteelSeries Apex Pro is a keyboard that offers unparalleled features and performance for gamers and professionals alike. It boasts linear switches that provide smooth keystrokes, making it ideal for FPS games and typing reports. Additionally, the adjustable actuation settings allow users to personalize their typing experience to their liking, ensuring the highest level of accuracy and speed.
One of the standout features of the Apex Pro is its OLED screen, which can display custom messages and game-specific information, such as Kills/Deaths/Assists in CS:GO. The screen also allows users to change settings without the SteelSeries Engine application. Furthermore, the keyboard's sleek design and high-quality build make it an attractive addition to any setup, and the volume dial provides convenient audio control.
Pros:
-OLED screen with easy programmability
-Bluetooth, USB, and USB-C connectivity
-Customizable and elegant
-On-board memory to remember preferences after reboot
-Omnipoint switches are buttery smooth
-Included high-quality wrist rest
-Any key can be remapped
-Cable routing lets you adjust where the cable comes out
Cons:
-Loud and clickety-clackety (mechanical keys)
-No number pad (bad for work, good for gaming)
-Not a detachable cable

3) Redragon K552 Gaming Keyboard

This is the best budget wired gaming keyboard.
The Redragon K552 is an excellent mechanical keyboard that is perfect for gamers on a budget. With its affordable price point, you won't have to sacrifice quality for cost. The keys have the perfect balance of responsiveness and clickiness, providing just enough resistance to feel satisfying to press without causing finger fatigue. Plus, the keyboard is surprisingly quiet, so you won't have to worry about disturbing others around you.
The build and form factor of the Redragon K552 are also impressive. The keyboard feels weighty and well-built, making it durable and long-lasting. Its small form factor frees up tons of desk space, giving you more room to maneuver your mouse and other peripherals. Additionally, the keyboard has customizable LED lighting, allowing you to add a personal touch to your setup. Redragon K552 is an excellent choice for gamers who want a high-quality mechanical keyboard without breaking the bank.
Pros:
-Budget-friendly wired gaming keyboard
-Crisp and responsive key clicks
-Compact size
-Locking windows key
Cons:
-Only has one color lighting. Red
-The WASD keys, and the arrow keys are not the same height

4) KLIM Chroma Gaming Keyboard

This is the best budget wireless gaming keyboard.
The KLIM Chroma is an exceptional budget wireless gaming keyboard that has impressed its users with its top-notch quality, long battery life, and exceptional connectivity. This keyboard is built to last, and its materials are of the highest quality, making it a durable and reliable option for all your gaming and work needs. Its RGB lighting is a standout feature, adding 245Xp points to every key stroke and making your gaming experience more immersive and engaging.
The KLIM Chroma is perfect for those who want a wireless gaming keyboard that is simple, easy, and fast to use, without breaking the bank. It offers a great feel to the keys, and the keys are not too loud, making it perfect for school and work needs as well. The keyboard charges quickly and lasts a long time, and its consistent connectivity ensures you stay connected throughout your gaming sessions. What sets the KLIM Chroma apart from other budget gaming keyboards is the excellent customer service provided by the company. Their friendly and helpful customer service team is always willing to go above and beyond to ensure their customers are satisfied.
Pros:
-Budget-friendly wireless gaming keyboard
-Backlit keys
-Sleek design
-Sturdy build quality
Cons:
-Off-brand name
-Battery life is decent, but not exceptionally long

5) Razer BlackWidow X Gaming Keyboard

This is the best high-end gaming keyboard.
The Razer BlackWidow X Chroma is an exceptional high-end mechanical keyboard that is sure to impress any avid typist, gamer, or programmer. It boasts an impressive set of features, including the newly revamped Razer green switches that produce a satisfyingly clicky sound that's similar to MX cherry blues. Its heavy and sturdy metal frame ensures that it can withstand even the most demanding usage, and its smooth and light keystrokes are a pleasure to type on. The keyboard also includes cable management trenches in the back for better organization.
One of the most striking aspects of the BlackWidow X Chroma is its incredible RGB lighting effect, which is simply unmatched by any other keyboard in the market. The keyboard's RGB's shine through clearly, illuminating every key with vibrant colors and providing an unparalleled gaming and typing experience.
Pros:
-Highly customizable lighting, key by key or groups of keys
-Comfortable to use for both schoolwork and gaming
-Only takes up one USB port and comes with a thin and soft USB cable
-Very easy to clean
Cons:
-Expensive
-Can be clacky

6) Cherry MX Board Gaming Keyboard

This is the best silent mechanical keyboard.
One of the most impressive aspects of the Cherry MX Board is its noise level. This keyboard is incredibly quiet, even when typing at full speed. This makes it ideal for use in gaming and shared workspaces, as it won't disturb those around you. In addition to its quiet operation, the Cherry MX Board is also highly customizable. The backlight can be adjusted to your liking, and the detachable keys allow you to customize the look and feel of the keyboard to your liking.
Another great feature of the Cherry MX Board is its backlight. The backlight is beautiful and easy to customize with a lightweight app that you can install. It's perfect for working in low-light environments or for adding a touch of style to your workspace. The keyboard is also very ergonomic, with a design that is easy on your wrists and prevents discomfort. The keyboard is also very sturdy, with an aluminum body that gives it a premium touch.
Pros:
-SILENT
-Solid construction with weight
-Lots of RGB options available, controlled from the keyboard
-No required software
-Nice typing feel without being loud
Cons:
-Shift, tab, and other keys use arrows instead of words, which can be a minor annoyance
-Limited adjustment for keyboard tilt, with only metal pegs to lift the back by half an inch

7) Logitech G915 Gaming Keyboard

This is the best tkl mechanical keyboard.
For gamers, the G915 is a dream come true. It has no delay, ghosting issues, or missed key presses, making it perfect for gaming. It's also very fast and accurate, making it easy to dominate in games like Overwatch. Typists will appreciate the tactile keys that have a crisp feel and an audible click. The low actuation point makes typing fast and accurate, without feeling too deep like with other keyboards. The super-thin profile of the keyboard eliminates the need for a wrist rest, making it comfortable to use for long periods.
its TKL design, it's perfect for those who need more desk space without sacrificing functionality. It has both USB and Bluetooth connectivity options, making it easy to switch between a PC and a Mac. The keyboard automatically changes the Windows and Alt keys to Apple/Command and Option keys respectively when connected to a Mac via Bluetooth, making the transition seamless.
Pros:
-Excellent build quality and design
-Fast and easy switching between Bluetooth and Lightspeed wireless
-Full RGB lighting customizable with Logitech G Hub software
-Good battery life of up to 2 months on a single charge
-Useful macro keys for assigning custom functions
-Good for gaming and typing
Cons:
-Large size makes it difficult to travel with
-No included wrist rest
-Shift + Num keys are not backlit

8) Razer Huntsman Mini Gaming Keyboard

This is the best 60 percent keyboard.
The Razer Huntsman Mini is a top-of-the-line 60% keyboard that offers excellent usability, durability, and portability. It's an exceptional choice for gamers, typists, and anyone who values a high-quality, responsive keyboard. The Huntsman Mini's compact design makes it easy to transport and its lightweight construction ensures that it won't weigh you down. Despite its small size, it retains all the features you would expect from a 60% keyboard and more, thanks to its Synapse software that offers endless customization options.
This keyboard is not only functional but also aesthetically pleasing. It's a beautiful addition to any workspace, with customizable lighting that lets you choose from a range of vibrant colors. Additionally, the choice of switches is perfect for those who prefer a quieter, less clicky typing experience. The Huntsman Mini is incredibly comfortable to use and its non-clicky switches ensure that it won't disturb others in the same room.
Pros:
-Very responsive and fast
-Perfect weight for stability
-Beautiful design
-Smooth keypads and great for gaming
-Excellent portability and easy to clean
-Synapse offers great customization
Cons:
-Overtime switches may become clacky
-Harder to use if you're used to a normal keyboard
-No dust cover
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So ever since I was young, I had this deep pain in my soul and I couldn’t figure out what was causing it. Naturally it led me to using drugs to numb the pain and cope with the subsequent depression. I’ve been drunk or high almost every day since I was a teenager because I couldn’t handle the pain. I even tried to kill myself twice because I just didn’t want to feel my feelings.
But over time the opiates stopped working for me. I was taking more and more and more, and the high was getting lower and lower. And the pain came back. I was blowing all my money on rent and pills and I still felt like garbage. I eventually realized, why am I paying sooo much money to feel like this? I could feel like shit for free!
So last year I finally decided to get clean. And all the old feelings I had been avoiding for years came back. I had no choice but to feel my feelings or go back to drugs, and I never want to feel the horrible opiate withdrawals ever again. So I faced all the emotions head on and I finally learned something.
The pain I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, I realized that it was gender dysphoria. The feeling of being so uncomfortable in my own skin started making sense. It’s because I was the wrong gender.
So I told my doctor and started taking hormones. I started really putting effort into my transition and now I live as a woman full time. I’m finally starting to feel comfortable in my own body and I’m getting happier. I’m more content with my life than I’ve ever been. And the desire to use drugs is starting to go away.
Recovery has given me this beautiful gift and I couldn’t be more grateful. I just wanted to share this with all of you. Thanks.

I have been working on a new drug ‘ConSed’ which can put a person in a sleep like state while still being fully aware. This was first tested on various monkey’s on their responsiveness to instructions given while they were under. All of the test monkey’s followed the basic instructions once the effects of the drug wore off. Once this had been proven successful, we proceeded onto clinical trials. The main purpose of this medication was to help individuals who struggled with sleep disorders, such as insomnia or sleep apnea. It provides the restorative effects of sleep without actually requiring them to sleep. This would over time, alleviate some of the negative health effects of chronic sleep deprivation.
All trials were concluded in controlled environments, all patients were monitored at all times. These again were successful, 97% of all patients could recite pieces of text that were played to them while under the medication. Nearly all patients were able to describe many sounds that were played into the control room. The tests showed that 85% of all patients felt well rested after a five hour period while under the effects of ‘ConSed’. There were a few rare side effects that only around 1% of the patients experienced. One side effect noted was that some patients felt nausea once they had awoke. Another side effect which did somewhat unnerve me was that some experienced a person enter the room. They seemed very distressed when they finally ‘awoke’, many demanded to know who came in and why they approached them while they were unable to move.
We told all of these patients that nobody had entered the room, all of the cameras that were monitoring them, showed them alone for the full 5 hour period. One quite disturbing interview with a patient in their early twenties, told us that once this person was looking over them, they whispered into their ear how they were going to kill them. We did further tests on this particular subject without any further anomalies in our analysis, they did refuse to try the drug a second time. The ultimate conclusion that was drawn by all parties was a phenomenon similar to sleep paralysis, which was rare but common in a lot is sleep based drugs.
I personally had my own sleep issues and this was a big influence in my drive in making this new drug a success. If it could help people, like me, that struggled with getting the desired rest that is needed, then that would be a dream come true.
One Sunday night just under a month ago I was having a lot of trouble sleeping, even more than normal, I had a big presentation at 09:00 in the morning and it was nearly 01:45. I remembered I had some ‘ConSed’ in my lab bag downstairs, I carefully got out of bed trying not to wake my wife. I went downstairs and took the medication, I went back up to bed as the drug took effect within 10-15 minutes. It worked as it should, my breathing began to grow slow and shallow with my muscles relaxed and my mind grew calm.
It was around an hour or two in when I heard the door slowly open with a slight creek, my wife stirred slightly, before settling again. My mind eased as I remembered the hall window was left slightly open, the wind must have caught it gently. It then opened wider, I could feel the slight breeze across my face. Quiet, muffled footsteps slowly made their way round to my bedside. I felt a wave of fear come flooding from my mind, as much as I tried, I couldn’t move a single muscle. I felt the static like someone was right next to me, then someone leant towards my face, warm air brushed my cheek as I heard a rasping breath draw closer to my ear.
“I am free, I will find you again, my face will be the last image you see before I rip your body open and take your life. Hear me, fear me, expect me”
My brain was trying frantically to wake my still calm body, like I was trapped unmoved in my own head. I felt the warm air leave just as fast as the static, then the footsteps slipped back out of my room. Two agonising hours later, I started getting mobility back into my legs and then slowly I could move once again. My breathing started getting erratic and I felt a terror I had never experienced before in my life. I explained what happened to my wife but she said it must have been a kind of sleep paralysis, but it felt so real, too real. I remember thinking that this happened to one of the test subjects in the preliminary trials and we did rule it as sleep paralysis. This slightly eased my fear, I know the mind is powerful but this just felt different.
I got into work earlier than usual, so I could make sure everything was in place for the 09:00 presentation with the investors. When I got in, the head of the facility, Mike, was already there and called me into his office. He explained that the presentation had been put back as there had been a complication. When I asked what had happened he said that one of the patients that had taken part in the trial had unfortunately passed away. When I probed for more details on what had happened, the undeniable fear took over me once more. Mike said that the patient that suffered from sleep paralysis in the trial period had been killed. Mike seemed to have more details on the incident then he really should have, but I know he had some high ranking contacts on the police force.
He said that the woman in her twenties was found in her apartment, hung up to a ceiling light fitting and had been sliced open from her lower abdomen up to her neck. There had not been any forced entry or any signs of a struggle. Most baffling of all, the security cameras didn’t catch anyone entering or leaving the apartment in the alleged time of the incident.
It was exactly a month to the day that she had been given the drug and had been in our facility. I left Mikes office, my face drained of blood and still not entirely sure the link between ‘ConSed’ and the senseless murder of one of the subjects. I went back to my office and re-watched the interview of the woman, she was in fear the whole way through. Her eyes darting around the room as if looking out for an imminent attack, then she went over how a person had entered the room and whispered in her ear. I watched the whole five hours of her laying in the test lab, nobody entered or left that room the whole time.
There was something that I had missed though, a second interview. I was not involved as I had been away for a couple of days, my colleagues Dr Perez and Dr Stein conducted this follow up two weeks after the initial interviews and tests. Here is the transcript of part of the interview, that I’m sure is the reason why this project has been halted and why I now fear for my own safety.

Date: 24th February 2023

Time: 10:45am
Dr Perez: I am conducting this follow up interview with my colleague Dr Stein as witness. The interviewee is with a Miss **** ***. The start time for this follow up interview is 10:45, Miss ** do you recall the date when you last visited this facility.
Subject: I do, it was 10th February 2023.
Dr Perez: Good, do you recall the initial interview in which you experienced some minor side effects.
Subject: They were not minor, someone came into the room and threatened to kill me.
Dr Perez: The secure location that you were situated in, was monitored the whole time you were under the medication. Four cameras placed around the room and two more outside showed that nobody entered the room while you were under.
Subject: Are you calling me a liar? What I experienced that date was horrifying, I have hardly slept since, due to the horrific things I experienced.
Dr Perez: We believe that you felt what is known as sleep paralysis, any phenomenon such as hallucinations or illusions experienced during sleep paralysis are not real and are simply the result of the brain being in a state of partial wakefulness.
Subject: Bullshit! I know what I heard, what they said to me!
Dr Perez: Miss *****, Please state what you heard while under this medication.
Subject: I can’t.
inaudible sobbing
Dr Perez: Please Miss ****, we are trying to help you, you need to let us know what was heard during this time.
Subject: It..He said: I am free, I will find you again, my face will be the last image you see before I rip your body open and take your life. Hear me, fear me, expect me.
Uncontrollable sobbing
I stopped the video, my eyes began to water out of pure horror, I haven’t said anything since to any of my work team, I have only spoken to my wife. Tonight is exactly one month since I took the medication, there has been no progress with the drug due to investigations. I’m scared and plan not to sleep tonight, the date is 18th March 2023. I plan to record myself all night and hopefully I will be able to update you all in the morning.
After all, even though the subject experienced the same hallucinations as me, there couldn’t have been a link between her murder and the medication she had been given.
Only a mere coincidence.
UPDATE
Hello,
I’m not sure what this forum is or what it is about but please can this post be taken down.
I am a colleague of the late Dr Graham ****, who sadly passed away in the early hours on 19th March 2023.
This written post was found on his laptop in his home and is the legal property of the company, we would like this to be deleted from all records. Otherwise we will pursue with legal advice against your website.
Furthermore, if anybody has any information regarding Dr Graham **** or the described recording devices that were allegedly in his presence, please contact Detective Collett on **********.
Respectfully,
Dr M Baker.

The faces in the crowd look all fuzzy,
In my desperation to hide my face:
Learning, then relearning, to erase them - albeit slowly.
I've now forgotten how to face them all headstrong.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.

Sealing the darkness asks every iota of happiness as tribute,
As I grasp at them, chase my fondest and my cherished.
Loneliness, being alone - forgot to count the differences.
This sinful heart, it fails letting me know how it appeases.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
The pangs of losing myself, despite the irony
of feeling utterly dejected, all alone
on a crowded crossroad. Right in amidst your loved ones,
Tell me, providence: How can one feel so lonely in a crowd, surrounded?
Like they were cornered, as the heart welcomes the panic.
And your cries for help, drown in laughter and cheers?
Somebody chime in: It doesn't make any sense.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
Learning to let go of fear,
of the dangers, the monsters within the closet,
Call out to me, as I listen to them.
What sick joke, this irony of life, that tantalizes
the echoing horrors in my ear.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
Learning to not give up on a cause,
who do I save this now rusted grit for?
As it would seem pointless: This sadness,
the truth so poignant, salting my wounds,
and my flaws.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
The rain is but mere old friend,
extending its companionship,
for they help hide the free flows - dithered
through the wrinkled trenches long dug at,
by these painful, cheapened tears.
All for friendship, innumerable - all that I forgot.
So long have they have slithered,
I know not, how to make them stop.
No - please - anything but this: Not again!
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
The pain that bellows within,
that no amount of pills do jack and shit.
And no amount of alcohol numbs.
This feeling of doom in my chest,
and the weight of the world in my shoulders.
In my quest to relieving everyone - excluding myself
- Of their unfair shares of emotional baggage,
I've forgotten long, long back -
How to even reach out for help.
​
What is the weight of guilt, you ask?
Take your hopelessness, put it aside with your failures.
Add in the disappointment, compound the sadness,
multiply with anger, and raised to the power of despair.
No axiom will answer - how much it aches,
no theory will state - how big of a toll it takes.
There's no rhyme, or reason - to this madness.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
The way out is blocked by the inner demons,
that keep berating, jeering loudly in my head,
For the same victim, they all relish, and share
Insinuating, whispering, egging, then dismissing
till it's impossible to bear.
For the burden of conscience
has been paid, severing this fate of mine
In the end - harder than a promise made.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
All it takes is a moment of desperation,
to turn a smile into a frown.
But has one ever contemplated,
has someone even cared,
how years of internal turmoil -
causing singes and burns so charred in.
Explain to me - how they can just be repaired.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
The reckless nail marks in my shoulder,
and the razor cuts in my wrists
full of shame, of foolhardy indulgence
may have healed - but the scars still are a stark reminder.
You say pour my utter heart out -
But how could I - keeping it all in for so long
That it's forgotten the luxury of divulgence?
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
Pathetic, Pitiful, Insignificant, Inconsequential
That's the value my self-esteem possesses.
You say there's still a lot to do, a lot to the "me".
It's neither self, nor esteemed.
It's but a mere shadow of what it used to be.
It's no big deal: Really.
For I stay in my ivory tower of isolation,
and drink from my chalice of desolation.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
You say laughing's easy
But you couldn't be more wrong
For it hurts to laugh, and my psyche:
It laughs at me, to hurt.
Perks of being an inebriated thief of joy,
a mere energy vampire,
A long broken toy.
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
how to find myself.
​
As the monster proceeds its ransoming,
for living in your mind - you can't help but give up,
every desire, every little luxury of life
and see it gnawing it all up, before returning,
for a second helping.
​
In the quest to losing myself,
For so long, I've now forgotten
the way back home,
the little patch of meadow,
under that tree I grew up carving
my name onto,
I could set my tattered,
Let this wearied body rest, for once,
set it gently onto,
the little spot of comfort still clinging in my head.
I'm so lost I've forgotten,
I'm so lost, it hurts to remember,
how to find myself back again.
​
I may have learnt to feign a smile,
something I didn't before, perhaps a pipe dream,
To fool the world - and most importantly myself,
but really, at the end of the day:
All things said and done:
Who am I kidding?
Who do I really smile for?