Christmas story leg lamp bulb replacement

Lily Madwhip Must Die: Chapter 14 - 1600 Fahrenheit

2023.03.26 00:04 Lillian_Madwhip Lily Madwhip Must Die: Chapter 14 - 1600 Fahrenheit

On a scale of one to ten, one being touching a hot car on a sunny day and ten being falling into the sun, I’d put having something burst into flames in my hand at probably a four. I think four is reasonable. I mean, we’re not talking about blistering heat that roasts your meat black. We’re talking about a little, blue, cat doll just catching fire and enveloping your hand up to the wrist in white-hot angel fire.
I think anyone’s first instinct when something they’re holding bursts into flames is to drop or throw the item. Since I am anyone, I naturally throw the doll with a squeal that turns heads. It hits the side of the closest tent and tumbles down it, paw over whisker. It leaves a trail of little fires behind it. These don’t just sizzle and go out, they get bigger.
Did I mention the smoke? There’s black smoke billowing out of the doll like it’s one of those funny fireworks that does nothing but make smoke. It doesn’t move like smoke though. Smoke just goes up where I guess it gets sucked out into space or something. This smoke swirls around in a ropey fashion like a snake.
“Meredith?” I say to the smoke snake, “Is that you?”
The smoke snake does not respond. Instead, one of the teenagers shouts, “FIRE!” and throws a cup of soda at the side of the tent that’s burning incredibly quickly. They all scatter. Soda is apparently not an effective fire extinguisher. The flames just sizzle and then swallow more of the tent.
I decide not to stick around. “If you’re Meredith, follow me,” I tell the smoke snake, and then turn to run for the busy section of the carnival.
I don’t make it more than two steps before one of the bigger teenagers grabs me by the shoulder. He’s a lanky boy with black hair and one of those “I wanna look grown-up” half mustaches that you almost wonder if you can just rip it right off his face. He’s wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt. I bet Roger and this kid would have been best buds or bitter rivals if Roger hadn’t gotten turned into mashed potatoes.
“Hey! This girl started a fire!” he yells to nobody in particular.
A girl with really short cut bleached blonde hair and one of those nose stud things runs over and gets right in my face. “Let her go, Johnny!” she snaps at the boy holding me. I’m surprised because I thought from her expression that she was going to headbutt me in the face and knock me out or something. “She’s pretty badass in my book.” She looks me in the eyes with something I’m not familiar with. Is that... respect?
Johnny lets go of me.
“That thing’s gonna burn the whole carnival down!” the girl yells. She sounds pleased. She’s even got a big grin on her face as she watches the fire on the tent rise upward.
“Well I’m not sticking around to watch, babe!” says Johnny, and he takes off between two trailers across the way.
There’s already shouts rising over the sound of the crackling fire. I hear someone yell the word “fire!” and the sentence, “grab an extinguisher!” Just over the tent, where the main thoroughfare probably is, some woman screams, and a kid starts crying. Oh God, I’ve gone and killed everybody, haven’t I? The entire carnival is going to burn to the ground and everybody’s probably panicking and stampeding for the exits. Then the screaming lady lets out a big burst of laughter and I realize nobody on the other side of the tent is even aware of what’s going on over here yet.
“Come on!” the blonde girl pulls on my sleeve. I stumble over my own feet and fall to the ground. She doesn’t stick around to help me up. Instead she takes off after her friend Johnny, doing some sort of twirly dance in the process as she runs away into the dark.
I start to get up from the dirt when I notice dark liquid running out from under me. It’s blood. It’s all over my shirt. I’m a sopping wet, red mess. Also, the cow pitcher is shattered. I must have fallen right on it and it broke and I got Nate’s blood all over myself! How am I ever going to explain this to that angry man I borrowed it from?
“What’s going on?” asks Paschar, “I’m getting only bits and pieces. There’s a fire? Smoke? Snakes? Blood? Are you injured?”
Actually, now that he’s asked, there is a big piece of the cow pitcher sticking through my bloody shirt down in my tummy area. I pull on the end of it. There’s a nasty, burning sensation so I stop pulling. I’ve gone and stabbed myself with a cow pitcher! Is any of this blood mine?
“I’ve spilled Nate’s blood all over myself!”
“Don’t rub it in your eyes!”
I wasn’t gonna rub it in my eyes. It’s not like I’m tired or anything. My cousin Susie used to rub her eyes a lot but that was because she had really bad allergies. Her eyes were always bloodshot. Susie’s worst allergy was boat propellers though. She was deathly allergic to those. After her accident, my Uncle George developed really bad allergies too. I could tell because his eyes were always bloodshot.
Someone nearby yells, “Over here!” and a pair of men run up with big, red fire extinguishers. They start spraying the white foamy stuff at the side of the tent. At first, it doesn’t look like the foam is going to stop the flames, but after a minute of spraying and one of the extinguishers running out of juice, the fire hisses and goes out.
The man holding the used-up fire extinguisher looks at the big, black, scorched portion of tent, then down at the crispy, little cat doll on the ground. Then he turns and looks at the claw machine. The machine blinks its lights like it’s saying hello to him. The man finally looks over at me, laying in a small pool of warm blood. It’s the man with orange hair who passed by earlier that I hid from.
“Look what we got here,” he says with a funny accent. I think it’s Irish, but it might be Scottish. I’m not an expert on accents. Everything I know about accents I learned from this movie I watched with my dad about a Scottish guy who was immortal and he killed other immortal people by chopping their heads off with a giant sword. Well, that and Mary Poppins.
The other man sets down his fire extinguisher and turns around. He’s a beefy guy wearing a huge coat with lots of pockets and a floppy-looking cowboy hat. “Who’s that, Gin?” he asks in a non-accent voice.
“Get up, girly!” The man named Gin reaches down and grabs me by my collar. He pulls me halfway up to standing on my own two feet. In the process, the piece of cow pitcher that has punctured me in the tummy area shifts and causes more of that intense burning feeling I got when I tried to pull it out.
“OWWWW!” I yell, hoping he gets the hint and lets go of me.
He doesn’t.
Then I notice that the snaky trail of black smoke is circling his head like a creepy halo. I don’t think he or the other man can see it because if either of them could, they’d surely be freaking out and trying to wave it away.
“This,” Gin says with one of those half-smile smirks that shows the canine tooth on the left side of his mouth, “is who Clay was looking for.”
The black smoke snake hunches back like it's about to strike at the back of Gin’s head. Then it lunges forward and splashes like a wave against him, going in all directions. A moment later, it recollects itself into a cloudy-form and swirls angrily around him like a swarm of bees dealing with Winnie-the-Pooh.
Gin pulls me the rest of the way to my feet. This is good because I aim to kick him in his testicles and I couldn’t do that lying down. As soon as I’ve got my footing, I pull back, swinging my foot out behind me--
--at which point he brings his big, adult fist into the equation by punching me hard in the guts. The pain is so intense I feel like I’m going to puke. Even worse, there’s a really sharp stinging sensation and then a wet kind of warmth. No, I didn’t pee myself. Gin himself winces in pain as he pulls his fist back to reveal the piece of broken cow pitcher stabbed right up between his knuckles. He lets go of me so he can pull it out and I take the opportunity to drop to my knees and double over, clutching where he hit me.
“Word of advice to you, lass,” says Gin as he flicks the pitcher piece away, “don’t broadcast your intention to kick a man in the quongs if you don’t want to get punched in the ovaries.”
I’m too busy rubbing my face in the wet grass to respond but I’m thinking about how annoying this thing with saying what I’m thinking is and I wish I could stop doing it because it really makes fighting bad guys difficult. I wonder if I just said that thought, but judging from Gin putting his boot on the back of my head, I’m guessing not. Bleh, the grass is warm and tastes like ozone. I realize I’m getting Nate’s blood on me. Paschar said to not get it in my eyes!
“What is she, like ten years old?” I hear the other man say, “What about this brat’s got Clay so spooked? You could knock her over with a wet fart.” Thanks for that visual, Sir.
Gin lifts his boot off my head. I take the opportunity to get my face out of the bloody grass and wipe it off my mouth. I can’t tell how much is on my face.
“She killed his kid or sometin’,” he remarks casually, “burned him alive.” He pauses. I look up. He’s looking at the scorched tent. “Seems like she’s got a penchant for fire. Maybe we ought to give her a feel of what it’s like to get burned before we bring her to Clay. What do you say?”
I cough up some dirt I didn’t realize was in the back of my throat. “I didn’t kill Joey.”
Gin wanders a few steps away and the other man comes over and puts a hand under my armpit. He helps me up in a far gentler manner than Gin did. I don’t think about kicking him in the testicles and I don’t plan to. The two men share a brief look and I worry for a second that I just said all that.
“She’s got blood all over her,” the big other guy says, letting go of me and wiping his hands off on his dark jacket.
“I don’t give a rat’s ass if she’s got shit and puke on ‘er,” Gin lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag on it. He looks at me like a kid with a magnifying glass looks at an ant. He blows out a small cloud of stinky smoke. I wonder if he can make smoke rings. “Give me her arm.”
Nothing good ever started with someone saying, “give me her arm.” I instinctively start to pull away, but the big guy puts his hand under my armpit again and moves me away from Gin, twirling me around so he’s between the two of us like a big wall.
“I’ve had enough of this. I’m not letting you put a cigarette out on a little girl. What the Hell is wrong with you, man?”
I put my free arm around his waist and give him as much of a hug as I can. Thank you, Mister, whoever you are.
Gin casually gestures toward the blackened tent flap and scorched patch of ground where the remains of my precious Freddy Lapel doll sizzles with otherworldly heat. “Look what she did, Dutch. She tried to burn down the whole carnival. Could have hurt somebody! Could have killed somebody--” He looks directly at me. “--again.”
Dutch’s thumb digs into my armpit but not so hard that it hurts. He smells like he had bacon recently. And he works on machinery or something, because there’s a distinct scent of motor oil on his clothes. I wonder if he knows Mr. Grizz.
“But thankfully nobody did get hurt. And I don’t know the full story between her and Clay, if there even is one. All I know is a grown-ass, Irish prick is telling me to let him put a lit cigarette on a ten-year old girl covered in blood and I ain’t about to be the guy that lets that happen.”
“I’m twelve actually,” I tell Dutch. He doesn’t hear or just ignores me.
The orange-haired creep named Gin takes another drag on his cigarette. I watch the end of it burn away between his fingers. Then he casually lifts one leg and puts it out on the underside of his boot. He flicks the butt away and then crosses his arms and stares at me hiding behind Dutch. If there was a clock, we could hear it ticking away, but there’s no clock. Instead, there’s just the hoots and hollers of people having a grand old time at the carnival.
After what seems like five minutes of just hard, quiet staring at each other like one of those Mexican standoffs in a Clint Eastwood Western movie --my dad used to love to watch Clint Eastwood movies. His favorite was called High Plains Drifter. I just watched for the horses-- oh right, like I was saying... after five minutes of that staring, Gin shrugs like he didn’t just step on the head of a little girl and then try to put a cigarette out on her.
“I’m fetching Clay.” He lingers for a moment, glaring at both of us, and then storms off in a hurried manner, really working his arms into it.
Dutch’s grip on my pit loosens. I stop hugging him and move away a step. He looks down at me. I can’t figure out what thoughts are going through his head. His expression seems like a jumble of worry and upset and even a little fear. He’s gotten all sweaty. He wipes it away with his sleeve and takes a rough breath.
“Thank you, Mr. Dutch,” I tell him.
He nods silently.
I check my pokey stab wound from the cow pitcher. It’s not leaking profusely but there’s blood and mud caked on my shirt and it’s sticking to me. I hope I don’t get a mud infection. I wish I better understood where germs come from. There’s blood all over my hands but I don’t know if it’s mine or Nate’s.
“I’m taking you to the front entrance and we’re calling the police,” Dutch tells me.
I almost forgot about the cloud of smoke. It is lazily drifting over Dutch’s head now, like a little, black raincloud. It moves unnaturally, not drifting away or dispersing in any way. Just a little, black raincloud over the man’s floppy hat.
We walk away from the burned tent and the claw machine in the opposite direction from the one that Gin went. A noise behind us makes me look back. A blonde woman with an apron covered with pockets from which prize tickets hang out all over comes out of a nearby booth alley and sees the mess I caused. She immediately zeroes in on Dutch and I walking away together.
“Oi! Dutch!” she calls out, “what the Hell happened here?”
“I’m dealing with it, Susie,” he tells her. He puts his hand on my arm as if to show that he’s got the perpetrator and is handling the situation.
I look up at him. “My cousin’s name is Susie.” I don’t know why I feel the need to mention that. My brain is kind of doing a reset at the moment as I try to figure out what I need to do and if that cloud is indeed Meredith’s soul like I think it is.
Mr. Dutch glances down at me and starts leading me away again. “Is that so?”
“My uncle ran her over with a motorboat.”
He frowns and looks away. “Oh.”
I realize I could have worded that better. “By accident.”
Paschar chimes in. “That’s probably not the best topic to be bringing up right now, Lily.”
Mr. Dutch seems to agree with Paschar. “Let’s just get you to the ticket booths, alright? Quiet like.”
Ahead of us, the back alleyway of tent flaps and old, unused arcade machines opens up to the main thoroughfare. I knew it was right there! I can see normal people, mostly adults because it’s so freaking late and kids have got school tomorrow but the carnival is in town so some parents brought their kids because some things are more important than school. Like fishing for little ducks with magnets on the end of a fishing line so you can get a ten cent knick-knack for the price of a couple quarters. Or shooting water in a hippo’s mouth and watching a balloon fill up from out its butt and whoever pops the hippo’s butt balloon wins a prize which is usually just a bunch of tickets like the ones that lady had falling out of her apron pockets.
The little, black cloud follows us, keeping just above Dutch’s head. I wonder if it intends to drop on him like an anvil in a Wile E Coyote cartoon.
Right before we reach the thoroughfare full of laughing, smiling people, I hear something. Fast approaching footsteps. They’re not speed walking; this is more like a jumbling hustle of several feet moving swiftly but trying to be quiet. Oh crap, it’s Gin and Clay. They’re going to burn me with cigarettes or rub deodorant on my wounds and stab me and light me on fire and--
There’s a hard WHOOMP sound right next to me followed immediately by a loud grunt like “UGH” but I can’t do it justice with words. It’s like the sound someone would make if they bang their elbow on the edge of a metal desk right where their funny bone is. Like right between the elbow joint bones, you know? Why does that hurt so bad? I think the person who named it the “funny bone” never hit the corner of a metal desk there. It’s the least funny bone in your body. Or second at least to the coccyx. That’s the little tail end of your spine. Yeah, we got tails. Humans got tails. They’re hidden though, tucked away in the butt area.
Dutch lets go of my arm. I turn to look at him. There’s a foot with a sneaker on it sticking out from between his legs. Just as quickly as I see it, it disappears. Mr. Dutch is the one making the pain sound. He reaches down and clutches his crotch, and his knees give out and he falls forward. Someone kicked this poor man in the testicles!
The foot belongs to the girl with the short, bleached blonde hair. She stands over the large, crumpled form of Dutch and looks at me with a triumphant grin.
Bleep the authority!” she shouts and pumps her fist in the air. She’s wearing like a dozen rings on the one hand. How can she fit so many rings on such stubby fingers? “Let’s go!” she yells in my face even though I’m right there next to her.
Her friend Johnny is with her. He’s looking around anxiously. “Yeah, let’s get out of here already!”
I’m flabbergasted. “But Mr. Dutch was a good guy!” I try to tell the two of them.
They’re completely enthralled by their own sense of pride in a job well done, saving the little, bloody girl from the big man at the traveling carnival. Mr. Dutch is groaning in severe, testicle-kicked pain. I reach down to try to help him, and the blonde girl grabs my wrist.
“What are you doing?” she asks me through a smile that says she doesn’t even really care what my answer is, “we’re rescuing you! Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, let’s hoof it!”
I feel like that’s one too many horse-themed expressions in a single statement, but I don’t say anything. And not just that, there’s like twelve too many people getting involved in my problems lately. I’m not a complete idiot, I know well what happens to people around me. My whole family is dead. My best friend is... probably a little, black cloud that’s doing some sort of weird interpretive dance over the crumpled form of poor Dutch with the swollen balls. People get hurt around me. Hell, poor Dutch can attest to that at the moment. People die around me. People get torn apart by skinless dogs that form out of fungus that used to be old ladies and I can’t believe that’s even an actual thing I saw. I saw that. That happened.
I take the girl’s hand and remove it from my arm. “Look, I don’t know you or Johnny and you both seem really nice, but you need to get out of here before you get hurt. I’ll be okay. Mr. Dutch was taking me to get help. The bad people are coming, and they like to smoke. They’ve got an angel of death tied up somewhere. And there’s someone much, much worse who could show up any time.”
I think I lost them both somewhere around the part about that creep Gin being a smoker. The boy Johnny does another anxious look around the area, then he grabs the girl’s arm. “Nance, let’s just go. I didn’t come here to get murdered by some whacked-out carney cult.”
The girl Nance drops her arm and shakes her head at me. She starts to open her mouth to say something, then crumples it up into a little mouth and turns and trots away after Johnny. I watch them go. I don’t know who they were, but I hope they get far, far away. The curse of getting involved in my life has a long reach and is unforgiving.
After they leave, I kneel down and pat Mr. Dutch on the back. “All you alright, Mr. Dutch?” I ask him. He mutters something I can’t understand because he’s got his face shoved into the ground.
“You’re not cursed, Lily,” Paschar comments.
“Then why do bad things always happen to people around me?”
“Because your gift is chaotic,” I hear me say. Except I didn’t say it. Not me me anyway.
Paschar whispers, “Oh no.”
I feel the presence of another person standing right behind me. Unlike Nance and Johnny, this person didn’t make a sound. It was as if they rose up out of the ground or descended from the sky as silent as a feather touching a pillow. My whole body tenses up. That sounds impossible but it totally is possible and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. Don’t question it.
I turn around slowly. First at the neck, then the shoulder, finally at the waist. Why am I dragging this out? Because I don’t want to look behind me at the person because I know exactly who it is and I really don’t feel like peeing my pants right now. Or ever. But especially now.
For a second I think I’m just looking in a mirror because I see my own face. Except my actual face probably has more blood on it currently. But less blood everywhere else.
Samael smiles at me. “You got here ahead of me.” He looks at my clothes and then tilts his head and examines my face. “And from the looks of it, you’ve had one Hell of a time. Who did this to you? Was it him?” He points at Mr. Dutch who has finally rolled over onto his back and is staring up at the starry night sky with teary eyes and a really red face.
“This isn’t my blood,” I tell him.
He grins. “But this is,” he gestures at himself. Don’t pee, Lily. Don’t pee.
Paschar raises his voice. “Sam, please, you’ve got to come back! You’re unwell.”
“Really?? Did you really think that’s going to work?” That’s me talking. Actual me. Not Samael. “You can’t appeal to crazy! I mean, come on. You’ve got to have something to back your words up with. When in the history of ever has someone been on the verge of destroying a small carnival and someone else said, ‘don’t do it!’ and they were like, ‘oh, okay.’? Never!”
“She’s right.” Samael says, nodding and raising an eyebrow. Hey, I can’t do that. I try to raise one eyebrow, but I just end up raising both. So I stop and try again. But then I stop completely before it looks like I’m wiggling my eyebrows at him. He stares at me blankly for a moment after, then blinks a couple times and shakes his head.
Mr. Dutch rolls over and gets up onto his hands and knees. He lets out a big breath, then sits up and tilts his head back to look at Samael and me together. There’s a moment where he seems to accept what he’s seeing, but then he clenches his eyes shut, reopens them, cranes his neck forward and looks back and forth between us.
“Don’t hurt him,” says Paschar.
Samael smirks. It’s starting to feel surreal to see myself making faces when I can feel that I’m not. Also, everything’s slightly off because I’m looking at my actual face and not a mirror reflection of it. “I’m not here for Mr. Dutch,” says Samael, “I’m here for the rune-maker, remember? I’m here for Felix Clay.”
“Lillian Alexandra Madwhip!” someone shouts from the direction Mr. Dutch and I just walked away from.
As if he was just waiting in the shadows --which he probably was because it’s such a Felix thing to do-- Felix freaking Clay steps from seemingly out of nowhere and stands about ten yards down the alleyway from us behind Samael. Beside him is his orange-haired friend Gin, smoking another cigarette from the looks of the little glow I can see in his hand. I should have smelled him coming.
They’re a little ways off, but I can see them both pretty clearly, and Felix isn’t smiling. It occurs to me that he always smiled before, even when he was doing things that shouldn’t have made him happy. It’s like his smile is a mask he hides behind. But not now. Now he looks angry. And annoyed. And --why is he holding that hammer? He’s not even holding it right; he’s got the claw side down. He can’t hammer a nail that way unless his arms work backward.
“You came for me and here I am!” Felix yells at us, “But I told you not to come back. So now--” He and his Irish buddy Mr. Gin start marching toward us with very purposeful strides, and I can’t understand what he’s saying after the “so now” part. Mr. Gin pulls something I can’t see out of his coat and holds it close at his side. No doubt it’s a weapon, I just don’t know if it’s a stabby weapon or a shooty weapon or what.
Samael doesn’t look at them. He’s focused on me. He’s smiling. His hands are clenched at his sides, and I remember well that there’s a rune on one that lets him punch through people like they’re made of Play-doh.
As for me, I’m torn. Do I warn Felix that Samael can karate chop him into bits like some sort of bad horror movie? Or do I watch this play out? Maybe I should take this opportunity to just run. I mean, I can’t win against any of these people. Who am I? I’m a Knife That Cuts the Veil that’s dulled by the runes all over the carnival grounds.
While I stand there lost in that thought, Samael reaches forward and pokes me in the forehead. He starts moving his finger around. I just stand there and stare at him, waiting for him to jab a hole right through my head. Don’t pee, Lily. Don’t pee. What the heck is he doing?
“There,” he whispers to me, finishing whatever it is, “that should keep you safe. Just don’t smear it or your head might explode.”
As soon as he lifts his finger away, I can feel it. That tension I had that I mentioned early was all through my body, it just vanishes. I almost go completely slack in fact, but manage to hold myself up. Then comes a wave of warmth starting at the spot on my forehead that he last touched and encompassing my entire head, traveling down my neck, across my chest, down both arms at the same time, through my midsection and then hips, legs, ending at the tips of my toes. The pain in my abdomen that I had actually forgotten about also vanishes. I reach into the hole in my shirt to feel the wound. It’s still there and I feel my fingertip actually go inside the stabby hole for a second before I realize I’m still hurt; I just can’t feel it anymore.
“Who’s your little friend?”
Felix and Gin have finally reached us. Gin looks smugly at me, still holding his hand by his side. Samael turns to face them finally and Gin’s smug look is replaced with one of confusion. Felix stops mid-stride and even takes a step back. He also has a confused expression on his face. I don’t need to see Samael’s face to know he’s got the biggest grin on it right now.
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2023.03.25 23:02 Morzo_Voidmaster Sassy Cola - three short stories describing a timeline where the future is guided by a soda company

3,659th Quarterly Meeting
Kilometer-long freighters docked and undocked from Port Vesta. Ventral doors opened to let in adamantine loading arms, the size of which existed only in tales of primordial titans for much of human history. Once reloaded, the ships departed for humanity's interstellar colonies at Tau Ceti, Aldebaran and Rigel. So choked with ship-induced warp bubbles was Vesta that stargazing was a fruitless pastime for many millions of kilometers out.
And all this was visible through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the most important conference room humanity had ever known.
Cool air circulated through the 40 by 20 by 5 meter room. 20.4 degrees Celsius, the perfect temperature to keep ambitious minds in line with corporate procedure. And no minds were more ambitious than those sitting in here.
9 of the most powerful human beings alive sat around the rectangular conference table, four on each of its long sides and one at the end farthest from the door. Their perfect faces were reflected in its polished black marble, craftsmanship reflecting in craftsmanship, one working in flesh and the other in stone. Their suits ran the gamut of subdued color, from black to gray to blue to beige to brown, though all but one had a metallic sheen. No one tried speaking before the meeting began. Everything that would be said today had been written and rewritten over the previous weeks. Today was a formality, a tradition practiced by an organization that had existed for 914 years.
Yet everyone in the room knew that the predetermined decision formalized today thrust their organization into foreign territory.
The man at the end of the table stood up. His dark brown suit was only two shades distant from his dark brown skin, most on display on his shaved and polished head. He removed his black-framed glasses from their perch 210 centimeters above the floor and tucked them into his breast pocket, 170 centimeters above the floor.
"Members of The Board," he said, "I declare this, the 3,659th quarterly meeting, open."
A woman, nearest on his left, stood up as he sat down. She wore a beige suit whose metallic sheen paled in comparison to her voluminous blonde hair. In her lilly white hands was the Quarterly Profit Report.
"Mr. CEO," she said in her most authoritative voice, "I'm proud to report that we have once again met the expectations of the founder. From July 1st to September 30th, 2999 CE, we maintained a profit margin of 80.0 %. As of September 30th, we hold a market share of 99 % and a market capitalization of 400 quadrillion credits."
The woman sat down. The other eight clapped their approval.
A man, nearest on Mr. CEO's right, stood up. His gray suit complemented the full head of silver hair installed on his scalp and chin. Strong and youthful hands, grown in a vat and transplanted onto this bicentenarian, held the Readiness Assessment Report from the R&D Department.
"The Instant Sassy program has achieved level 4 certainty as of August 16th, 2999 CE. They can now create a maximum of 1 kilogram of mass and replicate drink and bottle in one go. Mass production of the Instant Sassy vending machines awaits your approval, Mr. CEO."
The man sat down. Clapping ensued.
Five more members of The Board provided their tidbits of information, but everyone knew the best was saved until last.
A young man, actually young in contrast to everyone else's purchased youth, rose from his seat at the doorward end of Mr. CEO'S left side. He wasn't more than 30. He was only 160 centimeters in height. His hair and suit were both pitch black and without sheen. Most of the board wondered if the boy even combed. He certainly didn't shave. His delicate fingers held a one page legal summary.
"Mr. CEO," he said in a monotone lawyer-stating-the-facts voice, "it has come to the attention of the legal department that a small firm at Rigel is selling a 1-to-1 clone of Sassy Cola, though under the branding of Flash Cola. As there is no reliable intellectual property enforcement that far out, we suggest Sassy Cola Company perform a cease-and-desist operation."
The clapping that followed was, as planned, subdued to balance The Board's recognition of his work and the dire situation he described.
Mr. CEO stood once more to give the final address.
"Members of The Board, we stand at a precipice. Military action against a small firm is a bold move. Then again, the Sassy Cola Company is no stranger to bold moves. It was a bold move when in 2085 my great great grandmother started this company in order to sell her sassafras-enriched soda. It was a bold move when we spent the 23rd century expanding Earth's launch capabilities so that humanity could colonize the solar system and thereby create new markets for Sassy Cola. And it was a bold move when in 2610 we invented the FTL warp drive so that humanity could settle the stars and buy more Sassy Cola. So let's put this to a vote. All in favor of sending a cease-and-desist?"
Five members raised their right hand.
"All opposed?"
Three other members raised their right hand.
"Five for and three against. And I vote in favor, giving the issue the 2/3 majority it needs. A cease-and-desist will be sent to Rigel as soon as the ship is ready. I declare this, the 3,659th Quarterly Meeting, adjourned."
All nine stood and clapped, excessively, as if their noise could bury the question of ethics.
Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, a kilometer-long ship (built by Sassy Heavy Industries) docked at Port Vesta (technically Sassy Drive Yards) and loaded up with cargo containers (built and owned by Sassy Shipping) to be delivered to Aldebaran (Sassy Cola Aldebaran, subsidiary).
Dr. Megalomanovich
The walls and ceiling and floor of the office never stayed the same color for long. They meandered through the greens, brighter then darker, strolled along the beach with various tans, took a dip in the water with cyan blue and finished by going back to the greens. They were cymolds, cybernetic funguses, and they formed the surface of every room in the administration wing of Sassy Research Installation #544.
It wasn't a very well publicized installation. No research from here had ever appeared on Sassy Science Direct's Top 10 Breakthroughs of the Year. Of course, that meant what they were doing was very, very important. Another reason to locate the place so far from the rest of human civilization.
Far from civilization is a relative term. To be far on the surface of a planet, you got to be, eh, 100 kilometers away. To be far in the context of a star system, make that 100 million kilometers. To be far from humanity in the year 3535 CE, you have to be 100 light years away. And that's just what we were. 100 light years separated us from the nearest human outpost. Not the nearest built-up star system or lone asteroid city. No, I mean 100 light years from the nearest hitch-em-up, one warpship, sorry excuse for an outpost. Nothing lay in-between and no one was coming to rescue you if you broke down halfway.
But that was the price of admission if you wanted to meet Dr. Megalomanovich.
To the layman, his name means nothing. To the educated, resentment. To the dreamers, hope. He is the greatest mind of our time bar none. And, like all great minds, he has created controversy.
The cymold on these walls was invented by him while he was still in secondary school 150 years ago. He designed the meter-thick mycelium fibers which root Installation #544 to its carbonaceous asteroid in an undergraduate mycology class. Since then he has: led a team which developed an all-biological fusion reactor, led another team that made a proof of concept for matter-antimatter annihilation based metabolism and singlehandedly created a cow subspecies that produces Sassy Cola instead of milk.
This last accomplishment most impressed the one and only financial backer of all human science, the Sassy Cola Company.
It didn't matter that Sassy Cola was already made in the most efficient way physically possible, by assembling it, bottle and all, from the fundamental elements themselves via vending machine MDROM-derived replicators, because Sassy from an udder was cool to the average consumer.
And so Dr. Megalomanovich was scooped up and shipped off to Installation #544. Here he has remained for 120 years doing . . . something. I'm here to find out what.
A chubby man with pudge stuffed unsuccessfully into a white lab coat walked in to the office. His eyes had been replaced by cybernetics—not eyes, but an assortment of twitching miniature radar dishes and antennae. His thick white hair is gelled straight back like the racing helmet of a bicyclist. It took me a minute to realize that this man was the good doctor.
"Dr. Megalomanovich?," said I.
"Who else were you expecting in Dr. Megalomanovich's office?"
"No one. I mean you, but, but—"
"You have only seen my younger self. Likely from my exploits in producing that wondrous strain of cow which produces delicious Sassy Cola."
"I know you from more than just that."
"I don't know why, all my other stuff had nothing to do with Sassy Cola."
He ripped some of the cymold off the wall with one of his olive green gloved hands. Beneath it is barren rock, half-digested by the lithovorous cymold.
"I mean, the antimatter-powered life thing was pretty neat," said I.
"Pretty neat? PRETTY NEAT?!?"
I shrank in my seat and whimpered, "Yeah."
"I'll show you neat my boy. Follow me through the teleporter!"
Rubber fingers pressed a sequence on the door's keypad with inhuman speed. The metal door dissolved away and only a teleporter field remained.
For those who've not seen the new 2D intrabrane teleporters—or thresholds as their called—you're in for a treat. Not only are they compact and have ranges up to a light year, but they allow light to pass through so you can see where the hell you're going. Not all light; hard ultraviolet and above get filtered out as do large energy differences. So if you're traveling from a paradise planet to a spaceship and that spaceship's warp drive has an oopsie, the 1 billion kelvin nuclear fireball won't char your burgers.
We weren't traveling to a paradise planet, at least not in the traditional sense. To a neogeneticist like myself it was heavenly.
I noted three things when I first stepped through. 1, the whole environment was bathed in the orange light of a red dwarf star. 2, the environment was divided between land—the cliffside we were standing on—and a bubbling black sea of what turned out to be Sassy Cola stretching toward the horizon. 3, the animals.
I don't know why the animals stood out to me over what I assumed were plants. They weren't actually plants but a form of lichen—but, but, but the prejudice toward the animals was still there. In fairness, they were pretty enigmatic. One of them crawled along the ground with a head that was entirely tongue, licking up the lichen bulbs like pieces of candy. Another one looked like a tree, but on closer inspection was an amphibious anemone, its roots sunk into the shallow sea's floor and its tentacles reaching out of the water to grasp a third creature—a bird of some kind whose flight was aided by gas bags on its underbelly.
"Behold, my masterpiece," said Dr. Megalomanovich.
"It's beautiful beyond words," said I. "How did it come about?"
"By way of 120 years' hard labor. Shortly after my Sassy Cow achieved galactic fame, The Board granted me with a research installation of my own. In return, I was to do the impossible: abiogenesis."
"To create life from nonlife."
"Yes."
"You had gotten close with the antimatter metabolism trial."
"Indeed I had. And that is why I refused to take any hand-me-down help from Earth's biota. From the beginning I wanted my life to run differently. I couldn't find a way to replace carbon as the backbone, but I was able to swap out water for Sassy Cola."
"You're telling me that in every cell of every one of these creatures is Sassy Cola?"
"It is their water."
"How?"
"Do you have a few years?"
"Yes."
"Unfortunately, I don't. Even this little jaunt is wasting my precious time."
"Speaking of time, how did they grow so fast?"
"Accelerated evolution through computer-aided keystone transcription errors."
"What?"
"Again, I don't have years to waste teaching you. I waste enough time teaching the installation's staff."
"When do you plan on showing your masterpiece to the wider galaxy?"
"My masterpiece will show itself to the galaxy when it is ready. There is no doubt in my mind that a day will come when a creature on this world will take a rock and bash it against the head of another and say 'eureka!' before pondering the philosophical implications of taking a life."
"Anything is possible when your body is 70 % Sassy Cola."
The Bimillennial Celebration
Upon receiving the invitation, I couldn't wait to go to the Bimillennial Celebration at Sol, though I did worry how I'd be received in turn. Few humans outside my corner of space had ever met a nonhuman sapient before. It didn't help that I lacked so much as a species name to give them.
If it were up to me, I'd name us astrographically, by the planet we live on. In that case we would be called the Sasserines after Planet Sasser. It's not a good moniker; too nationalistic when our distinguishing characteristic is first and foremost biological. So I dropped the case and made it sasserine. Yes, much better. It's less proper, more grounded, more biological. It is this species name that I used in my travels.
The first stop on my journey was at the derelict Research Installation #544. Humans abandoned it long ago when the Sassy Cola Company's fortunes took a turn for the worse. Now it was kept up by us sasserines as a heritage site. I left a bouquet on The Good Doctor's shrine, shed a few sticky tears and moved on. The tiny warpship I had chartered had an impatient pilot.
That pilot turned into quite an annoyance during our two weeks together, for he asked questions that became more and more inappropriate with time. I'm not one to disparage curiosity—I'm a scientist after all—but I fail to see the scientific necessity of revealing which variety of Sassy Cola I urinate.
My next stop was Rigel, a blue giant star that shined 1 million times brighter than Sasser's red dwarf. Since Sassy Cola's monopoly of both power and soda had waned, I found many other brands on offering, including one called Flash Cola. Flash's slogan summarized its claim to fame: "Resist the Sass and Drink a Flash!" I briefly wondered what Sasser's biosphere would look like if it were based on Flash Cola instead of Sassy Cola. I purged this thought experiment from my mind upon realizing that the planet would likely be named Flasher and we the flasherines.
Onward to Sol by way of Aldebaran. This leg was much more pleasant than the last as I had booked a room aboard one of the last functioning warpships of Sassy Cruise Lines. Luxury abounded and even my rational mind almost succumbed to the temptation of using the rest of my money to stay aboard til death. But such an act would break the terms of the invitation.
Sol, the most ancient and most populous star in settled space, was the venue for the greatest party ever thrown by humanity. Derelict Sassy Cola freighters had each been converted into a single light bulb and arranged by the hundreds to create a sign at Neptune's distance from the sun reading, "2,000 SASSY YEARS!"
I'm not normally a party person. Secluded reading is my pastime of choice. Yet I couldn't help but crack a Sassy with every human who asked me to join them. Why not?, I thought. After all, without the Sassy Cola Company, I wouldn't be alive.
The solar system felt like it held the totality of settled space within its borders. Port Vesta alone held hundreds of distinct cultural groups from just as many star systems. I met 35 of them on my 5 kilometer walk from Sassy Cruise Lines' designated dock to the hotel where I was to be staying. Sassy Cola's monolithic corporate culture was no longer humanity's culture. People were being themselves again.
And that included being suspicious of outsiders, especially ones from a different tree of life.
I felt eyes all around me. I had drunk too much Sassy Cola, besting even the worst human junkies. I sweat the drink. I urinated the drink. Boys and girls inspected me like a zoo animal every time I went to one of Port Vesta's many street markets. It overwhelmed me and I left early for my meeting on Earth.
Orbital space around humanity's homeworld is so congested with infrastructure that teleporter range around Earth is limited, by law, to a mere 1,000 kilometers, 1 billionth of what it is everywhere else. To get to the planet's surface I had to leapfrog from orbital plate to orbital plate, often having to cross a single plate by way of a couple teleports. Yes, they are that large. Most contain surface areas and populations similar to Earth's 21st century nations-states. After visiting 57 nation-state-orbital-plates against my will, I arrived at Earth's surface.
At least I had reached the top surface. Earth is a shellworld with 15 surfaces, each named after a variety of Sassy Cola. I was on Sassy Orange and needed to get down to Sassy Cola Classic, 7 surfaces below. Teleportation law was even stricter here than in orbit. The technology was used exclusively to ferry people between surface levels and teleporters only existed in the atlas towers which held the next surface.
I was awestruck upon first seeing an atlas tower as they occur nowhere but Earth. From green pasture it rose into the cloud cover above. Through those clouds, ten kilometers up, lay gigatons of diamond hard plating topped with teratons of granite, soil, lakes, rivers and cities. I was under a planet-encapsulating house held up by countless pylons, themselves kept rigid only as long as the power flowed. Luckily, it always did.
The atlas towers also serve as propagandistic monuments, each shaped like a bottle of Sassy, though of the variety which matches the name of the surface level they exist on. The Sassy Cola Company had its detractors, but the fact that the corporate superpower had built Earth into what it is today went unquestioned.
I eventually arrived at surface level 7, or Sassy Cola Classic. The 7 surfaces above had replaced Earth's original troposphere and stratosphere. The 7 surfaces below existed where the planet's crust once did. Together, the 15 shells supported 20 trillion humans living in spacious luxury—though no one had more spacious luxury than The Board.
Their 1 billion hectare estate is a combination art piece, capital, pilgrimage site and tomb. No teleporters exist within its borders. The atlas towers there are disguised as steep mountains on their bottom halves and cumulonimbus clouds columns on their tops.
Dwarfed by these gigantic illusions are the many castles of the estate. One of these castles serves as the estate's north entrance and holds the Sassy Parliament Building. In here convene two houses, a lower house elected by the Sassy Cola Company's 100 trillion shareholders across settled space and an upper house chosen by The Board.
The lower house had drawn up the invitation program and voted 67,306 to 32,694 to pass it. The upper house hesitated, unsure whether they wanted "billions of yokels trampling through the estate." They passed it with the exact bare minimum of votes, 600 to 300.
The addition of a clause limiting it to 10,000 "yokels" that came in tour groups of 50 per hour was the deciding factor in passing the invitation program. Now I was part of one of those groups, an ordinary ambassador for the world of Sasser, though I doubted that cultural and economic exchange, two bullet point motives of the program, were occuring.
Oh well, I thought as I boarded the maglev train to the next destination.
The nine members of The Board lived in nine penthouses atop nine towers near the center of the estate. I'd remark on the penthouses' reported opulence if 200 stories of height and the estate's no-cameras policy hadn't isolated us from them. I imagine they like it up there, otherwise I can't fathom why they'd live so secluded from the rest of their species. I wondered what such recluses thought of Planet Sasser and the sasserines or the invitation sent to me by their personally selected managers. But I'd little time to ponder as the maglev neared my stop.
At the very center of the estate sits a diamondoid hemisphere 10 kilometers in diameter. Inside exists a full recreation of one late 21st century American small town. The maglev line terminated at the entrance to the dome where a bright green sign reading "Tupelo" hung.
The rest of the tour group was just as in awe as I when we walked inside and found ourselves surrounded by single family homes along four lane roads with no sidewalks. From the artificial blue sky above came laser beams which generated holograms of moving vehicles. They veered around our group even though the lasers would cause nothing worse than a slight tingle on the skin. A human dressed in a law enforcement uniform of the time led us to the predetermined sacred sites.
First we stopped at the hospital where The Founder was born, then the double wide trailer where The Founder grew up and, finally, the soda shop where The Founder introduced the world to Sassy Cola in 2085.
I obsessed over this last stop. Burned into my psyche is the memory of the artificial sun rays shining through the shop's stained glass windows and onto the stainless steel counter. I took in every scent and sound and touch; the bittersweet sassafras laying in sacks in the corner, the scratching of our shoes on the artificially cracked and yellowed linoleum floor and the coolness of the counter on my cheek when I laid my head down in defiance of the guide's orders.
At the end we all had a thimble full of Sassy Cola made from the recreated soda jerk. It was inferior to every drop of Sassy that I'd drunk since birth. Even my blood, filled with the wastes of cellular respiration, likely tasted better.
But taste alone didn't determine the value of this thimble. The drink represented conception, its serving the initialization of the two millennia of change that followed. Just as water was a prerequisite for all Earth life, so Sassy Cola was a prerequisite for all life on Sasser.
This soda was the origin of everything I am. I believe that's cause for celebration.
(END)
submitted by Morzo_Voidmaster to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 22:18 A_Vespertine A Strange Planet

The two strange beings staring out at one another from across the temperate grassland were evolutionary cousins, both descendants of the long-extinct progenitor race of Homo sapiens primaevus. Ironically, only the least human of the pair was aware of that.
His name was Telandros, though he normally neither spoke nor thought in a phonetic language. The only parts of him that were ‘biological’ was a brain more than thrice the size of an ordinary human’s and some auxiliary tissues, and these cells were comprised of synthetic XNA helixes that were vastly more complex and information-dense than DNA or RNA. Perpetually self-correcting and self-optimizing, both his psyche and flesh had persevered for thousands of millennia, and could easily survive for thousands more. The rest of his body was a polymorphic biomechanoid made of nigh-indestructible exotic matter, currently configured into the relatively traditional form of a four-limbed theropod.
His exterior was covered in a coat of iridescent, silvery filaments, each one fully prehensile and fractally branching off into smaller prehensile filaments, going all the way down to the molecular level. His large brain and other essential components were soundly secured within his ellipsoid torso, allowing his 'head' - which was actually just the end of his forwards facing tentacle - to be dedicated solely to an array of sensory apparatuses. His ‘face’ was composed of a rotatable, dilatable ring of six elliptical eyes, with multiple sets of air intake valves that were able to analyze the local atmosphere. His forelimbs, which moments ago he had used as wings to soar across the sky, were now a sprawling mangle of branching tentacles, whereas his hindlimbs were held together much more tightly to serve as legs. His tail, though currently only being used for counterbalance, could be repurposed into a third leg or extra arm in a jiffy if he needed it.
Mighty posthuman though he was, much like an ordinary human, Telandros couldn’t actually recall the early years of his life. Superfluous information was routinely condensed and pruned, and at some point over the aeons, his creation and nascent existence had been reduced to mere declarative memory as impersonal as anything else in his mental encyclopedia. While he had never been to Earth before, he knew that his ship, the Forenaustica, had originated in Sol. His crewmates had been star-hopping from one solar system to the next, spending decades to centuries studying each one before moving on at near-light speed. Eventually, they had circumnavigated the entire galaxy and returned to Sol.
They were first greeted by the Star Sirens, a very ancient race of microgravity-adapted transhumans that were said to date back nearly to the beginning of humanity’s expansion into outer space. Conservative even by immortal standards, they had changed little in all the time that the Forenaustica had been gone. Like sharks and crocodilians, the Star Sirens viewed themselves as already perfect and beyond any need to evolve further.
While a race of early transhumans that was still counted among the genus Homo may have seemed primitive to Telandros, they were still the most numerous race in Sol or any other star system with a permanent human presence, and all must yield to their authority as mistresses of the skies. Their success was a testament to the importance of initial conditions in the history of spacefaring civilizations. Had Telandros’s race come first, they would have easily outcompeted the Star Sirens before they could have gained a foothold in the cosmos. But the Star Sirens had capitalized on their first-mover advantage, and now the mermaids the ancient bioengineers had turned loose would rule the stars forevermore.
It had been the Star Sirens who had given Telandros – along with his ship and crew – their phonetic names. They were also incidentally the reason he was now called a ‘he’ at all. Telandros, of course, had no sex chromosomes, no reproductive organs, and no psychological or social gender. But to the Star Sirens, all men were foreigners, and at some point in their culture’s history, all foreigners had become men by default, so that’s what they put on his visa.
While the Star Sirens may have treated the crew of the Forenaustica as coldly as they would any outsiders, they escorted them to Mars without a fuss, where they were treated to a much warmer welcome.
Telandros had been delighted to find that Mars was now a sprawling ecumenopolis. In the low gravity and thin atmosphere, pressurized skyscrapers made of imperishable materials that averaged over a thousand stories high had gradually accumulated to the point that they now blanketed the once-red planet and housed trillions of sapient beings. It was so vast, that the planet’s average temperature was kept above freezing simply by the city’s waste heat, hundreds of thousands of terawatts beamed to them from the Dyson swarm of solar collectors that had once been Mercury.
The Martians themselves were much like Telandros’ own people; a well-ordered Technate of demi-godly posthumans with a Saganian love of science and reason. They welcomed them home as prodigal sons, eager to learn of their long expedition and celebrate their courage and scientific spirit. Telandros happily spent his first few hundred days on Mars telepathically exchanging higher-dimensional semantic graphs with the hyper-intellectual elites, or soaring amongst the literal skyscrapers through the rarified atmosphere. He didn’t dare to dive too deep, however, for the fetid abyssal depths were long-neglected and were perilous for civilized beings to explore.
While Mars may now have been the heart of human civilization, the Earth would always be its cradle. Though Telandros fully intended to spend the bulk of his planned centuries in Sol on Mars, when the planet once again came into alignment with Earth, he decided to spend the next couple of years paying it a visit.
Earth was a strange planet, though in fairness it always had been. History that bordered on legend said that the first humans had once reached a population of around ten billion, but over centuries and millennia of low birthrates and high emigration to the exponentially growing numbers of idyllic centrifugal space habitats or Venusian cloud cities, the population eventually fell to under two billion and remained there. Most of Earth was a nature preserve, its climate and ecology now ironically kept in an unnatural stasis by its sapient population, who lived minimally disruptive lives either in self-sufficient city-states or rural homesteads.
The posthumans of Mars had not spoken highly of the locals, considering the (relatively) near-baseline transhumans who required an intact ecosystem to survive and prosper to be little different from the rest of the wildlife. To them, Earth was an undeveloped back-water, and kept so by a sense of posterity and sentimentality that their utilitarian minds found difficult to comprehend.
Telandros however had found the Earth folk eccentrically diverse in body and mind, a pleasant change from the insufferably homogenous and conformist Star Sirens he first met. Though they were simple by his standards, they at least didn’t think of him as a god or demon as some primitive aliens he had encountered on his travels had, and he generally found them accepting and helpful.
The vast nature preserves he visited were not completely unpeopled, but were home to indigenous tribes of techno-primitivist. One such tribe of genetically engineered Goliathans roamed the plains and woodlands, herding mammoths and terror birds, eschewing any technology other than what they could make with their own hands or the nanite symbiotes in their bodies. The men stood over eight feet tall and had strength enough to deadlift several tonnes, and feared not even the most ferocious of beasts. They were noble savages who used their superhuman intellects solely to philosophically justify their lives as noble savages, and Telandros had found them even more insufferably self-righteous than the Star Sirens.
But the being in front of him now was not one of the techno-primitivists. It was simply a primitive.
The creature was slight of build, though its torso was pear-shaped with strong gluteal muscles, and stood upon three-toed, digitigrade feet. It was only about half as tall as the Goliathan men, but seemed unlikely to be a pygmy relative. However, its dusty blue skin and silvery white hair were enough to mark it as a genetically modified being, even if that modification had occurred countless generations ago. It possessed pointed, articulated ears held high in attention, and its large, cat-like eyes glowed with a soft eyeshine in the evening light. It curiously sniffed the air with a large nose, which – when combined with its enlarged upper lip – gave it a noticeably rodent-like appearance. Most curiously of all, the thick, badger-like claws on its hands suggested that they were intended for digging, not tool use.
A quick analysis of the DNA particles floating in the air confirmed Telandros’ suspicion that the creature did in fact belong to the genus Homo, but a scan of its anatomy revealed its brain to be around seven hundred cubic centimeters in size; twice the size of an average chimp’s, but barely half that of a baseline human. Was this a species of human that had been engineered for lower intelligence, to the point of being sub-sapient? An utterly nihilistic and misanthropic concept, to be sure, but Telandros couldn’t deny that the results were at least scientifically interesting.
The creature let out a high-pitched yipping sound, and several others of his kin cautiously poked their heads out from over the tall grasses to examine the strange, shiny terror bird that was trespassing in their territory. One of the females had a miniature version of the creatures riding upon her back, one with a sloth-like body plan and disproportionately large head and ears, its long claws interlocking upon her clavicle. Telandros naturally assumed that it was an infant, and didn’t bother to examine it any closer.
Instead, he checked the up-to-date encyclopedia he had downloaded for any information it might have on the strange beings. He immediately found that they had been given the seemingly endearing name of Knollings and were descendants of some of the earliest eco-sapiens. These had been primitivists who had opted for genetic modifications to minimize their ecological footprints. Unlike the Goliathans, who had prioritized their own survival and well-being when redesigning their bodies for a stone age lifestyle, the eco-sapiens had wanted to have as little impact on the natural environment as possible. This meant not only making themselves smaller, but altruistic enough that they would willingly endure the sacrifices their lifestyle demanded of them for the benefit of an abstract concept of nature that could never consciously appreciate it. Their altruism eventually led to them becoming completely eusocial, and their utter dependence on their tribe – along with the demands for conformity – had actively selected against high intelligence. Electively cut off from civilization, they were at the mercy of natural selection, and over the aeons, their full sapience had been lost.
Tragic, but at least not atrocious, Telandros thought. He saw in his encyclopedia that they did still possess a simple language with a few hundred short words, which they would compound together when that vocabulary proved inadequate. The precise and information-dense phonetic languages of the other transhumans Telandros had met already seemed like oversimplified baby talk to him, but he supposed he could give this a shot as well. He carefully constructed the simplest semantic graph in his mind that still conveyed what he wanted, and vocalized it into the Knollings’ language.
“Hoot! Good-hoot! Very-good-hoot at sun-bye! Am far-man! Far-man go very-far in black-sky! Far-man go all around big star-family and see very many stars! Far-man come home after big-time! Far-man like new-things! You new-things to far-man! Trade stories with far-man? Hoot!”
The Knollings stared silently at him for a moment before exchanging confused glances with one another. They had never heard a terror bird talk before, he assumed, but they also lacked the intellectual capacity to be astonished by such a thing.
“What?” the first of them finally barked back.
Telandros hung his head in resignation. Productive communication between himself and the Knollings was likely not possible. As he wondered if one of the Goliathans might be able to serve as an interpreter between them, the baby babbled something that he didn’t bother to translate. His packmates, however, heeded the command and all turned their backs to Telandros in unison, dropping to all fours and scampering off through the tall grass.
Not wanting to let this unexpected opportunity pass him by, Telandros sprinted off after them in pursuit. He switched his focus to his infrared vision so as not to lose them in the grass, though they proved to be not much warmer than the surrounding environment. Keeping his distance and stooping well below the grass so as not to alarm them, he ran along the ground as silently as an owl in flight.
He watched as the Knollings all formed into a single file, then disappeared down a large tunnel into the earth. This was no doubt the warren that they had dug with their own claws, and according to his encyclopedia, there would be dozens to hundreds of Knollings spread throughout an extensive network of tunnels and chambers. Telandros retracted his limbs and elongated his torso to adopt a more weasel-like profile and slunk down the tunnel, eager to see the great Knoll Hole for himself.
He had been prepared to use his infrared and sonar sensors to view the warren, but to his surprise, he saw a glimmer of blue light twinkling just up ahead. Upon closer inspection, he saw that it was a log with large bioluminescent mushroom caps growing out of it, its placement suggesting that the Knollings were using it as a lamp. The regular placement of other such mushroom logs throughout the tunnel seemed to confirm this hypothesis, and soon Telandros came upon a chamber that was completely awash in the soft blue glow. Peeking his head inside, Telandros saw an immense and orderly stockpile of the logs, alongside storage niches filled with picked mushroom caps by themselves. He realized that the Knollings must have been farming the mushrooms for food and light, and most likely the shiny beetles he saw feeding on the rotting wood as well. This was likely a holdover from their eco-sapien days, and it made him wonder what other more complex behaviours these lowly creatures might still retain.
A pair of Knollings in the chamber spotted him immediately and began yipping, a warning cry that was echoed by a hundred other voices throughout the warren as they dashed off down another tunnel. Telandros could tell that they were heading towards some kind of large, central chamber, something he was determined to see with his own eyes before returning to the surface. Swiftly, he pulled himself along like some lizard chasing burrowing rodents, or at least that’s surely how he seemed to the Knollings. Soon the tunnel ended, dropping him into a vast subterranean cavern that had been dug out by claw generation by generation. A shaft of crepuscular light beamed down from the surface through a ventilation chimney, beneath which lay a hand-dug well that provided the Knollings with their water, and a hearth they kept for fire. Dozens of the Knollings had assembled in the central chamber, and all had gathered around a singular, venerated figure; their queen.
She wasn’t hard to spot, being not only larger than the others but taller as well – nearly as tall as a baseline human woman. It seemed that most of the Knollings were neotenic, never experiencing full puberty unless selected to breed. Only one female could breed at a time, and she dedicated herself fully to the responsibility. She was surrounded by a harem of several breeding males and wet nurses who cared for the offspring she produced.
The entire colony hissed and screeched at Telandros, trying to drive him off. One male, armed with a flint hand-axe virtually indistinguishable from one his Homo habilis forebearers might have used, leapt towards Telandros and struck him with it. The stone shattered to pieces, leaving his hand bleeding and Telandros utterly unscathed. Two more males tried attacking him in this manner, and experienced identical results.
The cries of the Knollings became increasingly panicked at this development, while Telandros remained utterly unperturbed. His attention was instead on one of the wet nurses and the infant suckling at her teat, an infant that did not look like the small being he had seen earlier. Puzzled, he surveyed the central chamber in its entirety, eventually spotting three of the large-headed, large-eared little ones seated in a circle of mushrooms that sprouted directly from the ground rather than from a log. All three were looking at him with a keen gaze that seemed more acute than what a Knolling should be capable of, let alone an infant.
Checking his encyclopedia once again, Telandros was startled to find that these small members of the warren weren’t infants or even juveniles, but rather shamans of the Gaia Trees.
The Gaia Trees were plants that had been engineered to be biological server hubs, and communicated with each other and more traditional internet cables through genetically modified and nanotech-enhanced mycelial networks. The mycelium also allowed them to communicate with the roots of other plants, shepherding their behaviour and continuously managing and optimizing the world’s biosphere. While this network was technically just a subset of the multi-layered noosphere that enveloped the Earth, the techno-primitivists revered the Gaian Overmind as their goddess. The Goliathan shamans were confident in their ability to interpret omens from her, but as far as Telandros had been able to tell, it was all superstitious nonsense.
But this was different. The fairy ring that contained the Knolling shamans was unquestionably an outgrowth of the Gaian mycelial network. Their luminescence waxed and waned in a deliberate pattern, and when the shamans placed their palms upon the mushroom caps, Telandros could detect electrochemical signals being exchanged between them.
He realized then that he had been wrong about these simple people. They had not sacrificed sapience and civilization to an abstract and indifferent concept of nature, but rather to an ecotechnological embodiment of her, and it was a sacrifice that had not gone unappreciated. The Gaian Overmind had shepherded these people’s evolution, sparing the intellect of the shaman caste so that they would have someone able to interpret her will for them. Even if most of them had the minds of toddlers, rationality and intelligence were never what their ancestors had truly valued about being human. Living as harmoniously as possible with nature and one another was what the eco-sapiens of old had valued above all else, and that was what their descendants now had.
And there was nothing tragic about that at all, he realized.
“Good-hoot, far-man!” one of the shamans greeted him in a high-pitched voice, the rest of the warren falling silent at the sound of his revered voice. “Big-mans no come to Knoll-hole, but you strange-man. You no know good-ways. You dummy-dumb, but Gaia say you spoke true of flying through stars. Stars very high, but very small. Gaia big, far-man! Gaia protects Knollings! Leave Knoll-hole, and we forgive bad-ways! Stay, and Gaia curse you! All things Gaia touches will be far-man enemies! Choose now, far-man!”
Though it amused him that the Knollings thought of him as stupid, given his earlier botched attempt at oral communication, he decided that it was better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open his mouth and prove it.
Instead, he placed his left forelimb onto a nearby log and extended his microscopic manipulators into the dead wood to draw out the carbon. Holding his forelimb high for all to see, he rapidly began assembling the carbon molecules into a stylized diamond figure of their sacred mushrooms. He intentionally designed its lattice to make it phosphorescent, so that it would always glow with the same light as the real things. When the idol was complete, and still hot in his hand, he delicately placed it within the fairy ring for the shamans to examine.
While the other Knollings – even the queen – gawked on in fear and wonder, the shamans knew through their bond with the Gaian Overmind that such a thing was not only possible but common among the civilized peoples. Each shaman inspected the offering one by one and, in turn, nodded their approval.
His peace offering accepted and his curse averted, Telandros bowed graciously before shooting up the chimney overhead. Launching himself straight into the air, he resumed his aerial theropod form and continued soaring across the grasslands. He meant now to study the Gaian Overmind in more detail, eager to discover what other unexpected interactions it might have with the ecosystem and its people. Earth truly was a strange planet.
But in all fairness, it always had been.
submitted by A_Vespertine to TheVespersBell [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 22:10 A_Vespertine A Strange Planet

In the deep future, an advanced posthuman returns to Earth after an aeons-long sojourn across the Milky Way.
The two strange beings staring out at one another from across the temperate grassland were evolutionary cousins, both descendants of the long-extinct progenitor race of Homo sapiens primaevus. Ironically, only the least human of the pair was aware of that.
His name was Telandros, though he normally neither spoke nor thought in a phonetic language. The only parts of him that were ‘biological’ was a brain more than thrice the size of an ordinary human’s and some auxiliary tissues, and these cells were comprised of synthetic XNA helixes that were vastly more complex and information-dense than DNA or RNA. Perpetually self-correcting and self-optimizing, both his psyche and flesh had persevered for thousands of millennia, and could easily survive for thousands more. The rest of his body was a polymorphic biomechanoid made of nigh-indestructible exotic matter, currently configured into the relatively traditional form of a four-limbed theropod.
His exterior was covered in a coat of iridescent, silvery filaments, each one fully prehensile and fractally branching off into smaller prehensile filaments, going all the way down to the molecular level. His large brain and other essential components were soundly secured within his ellipsoid torso, allowing his 'head' - which was actually just the end of his forwards facing tentacle - to be dedicated solely to an array of sensory apparatuses. His ‘face’ was composed of a rotatable, dilatable ring of six elliptical eyes, with multiple sets of air intake valves that were able to analyze the local atmosphere. His forelimbs, which moments ago he had used as wings to soar across the sky, were now a sprawling mangle of branching tentacles, whereas his hindlimbs were held together much more tightly to serve as legs. His tail, though currently only being used for counterbalance, could be repurposed into a third leg or extra arm in a jiffy if he needed it.
Mighty posthuman though he was, much like an ordinary human, Telandros couldn’t actually recall the early years of his life. Superfluous information was routinely condensed and pruned, and at some point over the aeons, his creation and nascent existence had been reduced to mere declarative memory as impersonal as anything else in his mental encyclopedia. While he had never been to Earth before, he knew that his ship, the Forenaustica, had originated in Sol. His crewmates had been star-hopping from one solar system to the next, spending decades to centuries studying each one before moving on at near-light speed. Eventually, they had circumnavigated the entire galaxy and returned to Sol.
They were first greeted by the Star Sirens, a very ancient race of microgravity-adapted transhumans that were said to date back nearly to the beginning of humanity’s expansion into outer space. Conservative even by immortal standards, they had changed little in all the time that the Forenaustica had been gone. Like sharks and crocodilians, the Star Sirens viewed themselves as already perfect and beyond any need to evolve further.
While a race of early transhumans that was still counted among the genus Homo may have seemed primitive to Telandros, they were still the most numerous race in Sol or any other star system with a permanent human presence, and all must yield to their authority as mistresses of the skies. Their success was a testament to the importance of initial conditions in the history of spacefaring civilizations. Had Telandros’s race come first, they would have easily outcompeted the Star Sirens before they could have gained a foothold in the cosmos. But the Star Sirens had capitalized on their first-mover advantage, and now the mermaids the ancient bioengineers had turned loose would rule the stars forevermore.
It had been the Star Sirens who had given Telandros – along with his ship and crew – their phonetic names. They were also incidentally the reason he was now called a ‘he’ at all. Telandros, of course, had no sex chromosomes, no reproductive organs, and no psychological or social gender. But to the Star Sirens, all men were foreigners, and at some point in their culture’s history, all foreigners had become men by default, so that’s what they put on his visa.
While the Star Sirens may have treated the crew of the Forenaustica as coldly as they would any outsiders, they escorted them to Mars without a fuss, where they were treated to a much warmer welcome.
Telandros had been delighted to find that Mars was now a sprawling ecumenopolis. In the low gravity and thin atmosphere, pressurized skyscrapers made of imperishable materials that averaged over a thousand stories high had gradually accumulated to the point that they now blanketed the once-red planet and housed trillions of sapient beings. It was so vast, that the planet’s average temperature was kept above freezing simply by the city’s waste heat, hundreds of thousands of terawatts beamed to them from the Dyson swarm of solar collectors that had once been Mercury.
The Martians themselves were much like Telandros’ own people; a well-ordered Technate of demi-godly posthumans with a Saganian love of science and reason. They welcomed them home as prodigal sons, eager to learn of their long expedition and celebrate their courage and scientific spirit. Telandros happily spent his first few hundred days on Mars telepathically exchanging higher-dimensional semantic graphs with the hyper-intellectual elites, or soaring amongst the literal skyscrapers through the rarified atmosphere. He didn’t dare to dive too deep, however, for the fetid abyssal depths were long-neglected and were perilous for civilized beings to explore.
While Mars may now have been the heart of human civilization, the Earth would always be its cradle. Though Telandros fully intended to spend the bulk of his planned centuries in Sol on Mars, when the planet once again came into alignment with Earth, he decided to spend the next couple of years paying it a visit.
Earth was a strange planet, though in fairness it always had been. History that bordered on legend said that the first humans had once reached a population of around ten billion, but over centuries and millennia of low birthrates and high emigration to the exponentially growing numbers of idyllic centrifugal space habitats or Venusian cloud cities, the population eventually fell to under two billion and remained there. Most of Earth was a nature preserve, its climate and ecology now ironically kept in an unnatural stasis by its sapient population, who lived minimally disruptive lives either in self-sufficient city-states or rural homesteads.
The posthumans of Mars had not spoken highly of the locals, considering the (relatively) near-baseline transhumans who required an intact ecosystem to survive and prosper to be little different from the rest of the wildlife. To them, Earth was an undeveloped back-water, and kept so by a sense of posterity and sentimentality that their utilitarian minds found difficult to comprehend.
Telandros however had found the Earth folk eccentrically diverse in body and mind, a pleasant change from the insufferably homogenous and conformist Star Sirens he first met. Though they were simple by his standards, they at least didn’t think of him as a god or demon as some primitive aliens he had encountered on his travels had, and he generally found them accepting and helpful.
The vast nature preserves he visited were not completely unpeopled, but were home to indigenous tribes of techno-primitivist. One such tribe of genetically engineered Goliathans roamed the plains and woodlands, herding mammoths and terror birds, eschewing any technology other than what they could make with their own hands or the nanite symbiotes in their bodies. The men stood over eight feet tall and had strength enough to deadlift several tonnes, and feared not even the most ferocious of beasts. They were noble savages who used their superhuman intellects solely to philosophically justify their lives as noble savages, and Telandros had found them even more insufferably self-righteous than the Star Sirens.
But the being in front of him now was not one of the techno-primitivists. It was simply a primitive.
The creature was slight of build, though its torso was pear-shaped with strong gluteal muscles, and stood upon three-toed, digitigrade feet. It was only about half as tall as the Goliathan men, but seemed unlikely to be a pygmy relative. However, its dusty blue skin and silvery white hair were enough to mark it as a genetically modified being, even if that modification had occurred countless generations ago. It possessed pointed, articulated ears held high in attention, and its large, cat-like eyes glowed with a soft eyeshine in the evening light. It curiously sniffed the air with a large nose, which – when combined with its enlarged upper lip – gave it a noticeably rodent-like appearance. Most curiously of all, the thick, badger-like claws on its hands suggested that they were intended for digging, not tool use.
A quick analysis of the DNA particles floating in the air confirmed Telandros’ suspicion that the creature did in fact belong to the genus Homo, but a scan of its anatomy revealed its brain to be around seven hundred cubic centimeters in size; twice the size of an average chimp’s, but barely half that of a baseline human. Was this a species of human that had been engineered for lower intelligence, to the point of being sub-sapient? An utterly nihilistic and misanthropic concept, to be sure, but Telandros couldn’t deny that the results were at least scientifically interesting.
The creature let out a high-pitched yipping sound, and several others of his kin cautiously poked their heads out from over the tall grasses to examine the strange, shiny terror bird that was trespassing in their territory. One of the females had a miniature version of the creatures riding upon her back, one with a sloth-like body plan and disproportionately large head and ears, its long claws interlocking upon her clavicle. Telandros naturally assumed that it was an infant, and didn’t bother to examine it any closer.
Instead, he checked the up-to-date encyclopedia he had downloaded for any information it might have on the strange beings. He immediately found that they had been given the seemingly endearing name of Knollings and were descendants of some of the earliest eco-sapiens. These had been primitivists who had opted for genetic modifications to minimize their ecological footprints. Unlike the Goliathans, who had prioritized their own survival and well-being when redesigning their bodies for a stone age lifestyle, the eco-sapiens had wanted to have as little impact on the natural environment as possible. This meant not only making themselves smaller, but altruistic enough that they would willingly endure the sacrifices their lifestyle demanded of them for the benefit of an abstract concept of nature that could never consciously appreciate it. Their altruism eventually led to them becoming completely eusocial, and their utter dependence on their tribe – along with the demands for conformity – had actively selected against high intelligence. Electively cut off from civilization, they were at the mercy of natural selection, and over the aeons, their full sapience had been lost.
Tragic, but at least not atrocious, Telandros thought. He saw in his encyclopedia that they did still possess a simple language with a few hundred short words, which they would compound together when that vocabulary proved inadequate. The precise and information-dense phonetic languages of the other transhumans Telandros had met already seemed like oversimplified baby talk to him, but he supposed he could give this a shot as well. He carefully constructed the simplest semantic graph in his mind that still conveyed what he wanted, and vocalized it into the Knollings’ language.
“Hoot! Good-hoot! Very-good-hoot at sun-bye! Am far-man! Far-man go very-far in black-sky! Far-man go all around big star-family and see very many stars! Far-man come home after big-time! Far-man like new-things! You new-things to far-man! Trade stories with far-man? Hoot!”
The Knollings stared silently at him for a moment before exchanging confused glances with one another. They had never heard a terror bird talk before, he assumed, but they also lacked the intellectual capacity to be astonished by such a thing.
“What?” the first of them finally barked back.
Telandros hung his head in resignation. Productive communication between himself and the Knollings was likely not possible. As he wondered if one of the Goliathans might be able to serve as an interpreter between them, the baby babbled something that he didn’t bother to translate. His packmates, however, heeded the command and all turned their backs to Telandros in unison, dropping to all fours and scampering off through the tall grass.
Not wanting to let this unexpected opportunity pass him by, Telandros sprinted off after them in pursuit. He switched his focus to his infrared vision so as not to lose them in the grass, though they proved to be not much warmer than the surrounding environment. Keeping his distance and stooping well below the grass so as not to alarm them, he ran along the ground as silently as an owl in flight.
He watched as the Knollings all formed into a single file, then disappeared down a large tunnel into the earth. This was no doubt the warren that they had dug with their own claws, and according to his encyclopedia, there would be dozens to hundreds of Knollings spread throughout an extensive network of tunnels and chambers. Telandros retracted his limbs and elongated his torso to adopt a more weasel-like profile and slunk down the tunnel, eager to see the great Knoll Hole for himself.
He had been prepared to use his infrared and sonar sensors to view the warren, but to his surprise, he saw a glimmer of blue light twinkling just up ahead. Upon closer inspection, he saw that it was a log with large bioluminescent mushroom caps growing out of it, its placement suggesting that the Knollings were using it as a lamp. The regular placement of other such mushroom logs throughout the tunnel seemed to confirm this hypothesis, and soon Telandros came upon a chamber that was completely awash in the soft blue glow. Peeking his head inside, Telandros saw an immense and orderly stockpile of the logs, alongside storage niches filled with picked mushroom caps by themselves. He realized that the Knollings must have been farming the mushrooms for food and light, and most likely the shiny beetles he saw feeding on the rotting wood as well. This was likely a holdover from their eco-sapien days, and it made him wonder what other more complex behaviours these lowly creatures might still retain.
A pair of Knollings in the chamber spotted him immediately and began yipping, a warning cry that was echoed by a hundred other voices throughout the warren as they dashed off down another tunnel. Telandros could tell that they were heading towards some kind of large, central chamber, something he was determined to see with his own eyes before returning to the surface. Swiftly, he pulled himself along like some lizard chasing burrowing rodents, or at least that’s surely how he seemed to the Knollings. Soon the tunnel ended, dropping him into a vast subterranean cavern that had been dug out by claw generation by generation. A shaft of crepuscular light beamed down from the surface through a ventilation chimney, beneath which lay a hand-dug well that provided the Knollings with their water, and a hearth they kept for fire. Dozens of the Knollings had assembled in the central chamber, and all had gathered around a singular, venerated figure; their queen.
She wasn’t hard to spot, being not only larger than the others but taller as well – nearly as tall as a baseline human woman. It seemed that most of the Knollings were neotenic, never experiencing full puberty unless selected to breed. Only one female could breed at a time, and she dedicated herself fully to the responsibility. She was surrounded by a harem of several breeding males and wet nurses who cared for the offspring she produced.
The entire colony hissed and screeched at Telandros, trying to drive him off. One male, armed with a flint hand-axe virtually indistinguishable from one his Homo habilis forebearers might have used, leapt towards Telandros and struck him with it. The stone shattered to pieces, leaving his hand bleeding and Telandros utterly unscathed. Two more males tried attacking him in this manner, and experienced identical results.
The cries of the Knollings became increasingly panicked at this development, while Telandros remained utterly unperturbed. His attention was instead on one of the wet nurses and the infant suckling at her teat, an infant that did not look like the small being he had seen earlier. Puzzled, he surveyed the central chamber in its entirety, eventually spotting three of the large-headed, large-eared little ones seated in a circle of mushrooms that sprouted directly from the ground rather than from a log. All three were looking at him with a keen gaze that seemed more acute than what a Knolling should be capable of, let alone an infant.
Checking his encyclopedia once again, Telandros was startled to find that these small members of the warren weren’t infants or even juveniles, but rather shamans of the Gaia Trees.
The Gaia Trees were plants that had been engineered to be biological server hubs, and communicated with each other and more traditional internet cables through genetically modified and nanotech-enhanced mycelial networks. The mycelium also allowed them to communicate with the roots of other plants, shepherding their behaviour and continuously managing and optimizing the world’s biosphere. While this network was technically just a subset of the multi-layered noosphere that enveloped the Earth, the techno-primitivists revered the Gaian Overmind as their goddess. The Goliathan shamans were confident in their ability to interpret omens from her, but as far as Telandros had been able to tell, it was all superstitious nonsense.
But this was different. The fairy ring that contained the Knolling shamans was unquestionably an outgrowth of the Gaian mycelial network. Their luminescence waxed and waned in a deliberate pattern, and when the shamans placed their palms upon the mushroom caps, Telandros could detect electrochemical signals being exchanged between them.
He realized then that he had been wrong about these simple people. They had not sacrificed sapience and civilization to an abstract and indifferent concept of nature, but rather to an ecotechnological embodiment of her, and it was a sacrifice that had not gone unappreciated. The Gaian Overmind had shepherded these people’s evolution, sparing the intellect of the shaman caste so that they would have someone able to interpret her will for them. Even if most of them had the minds of toddlers, rationality and intelligence were never what their ancestors had truly valued about being human. Living as harmoniously as possible with nature and one another was what the eco-sapiens of old had valued above all else, and that was what their descendants now had.
And there was nothing tragic about that at all, he realized.
“Good-hoot, far-man!” one of the shamans greeted him in a high-pitched voice, the rest of the warren falling silent at the sound of his revered voice. “Big-mans no come to Knoll-hole, but you strange-man. You no know good-ways. You dummy-dumb, but Gaia say you spoke true of flying through stars. Stars very high, but very small. Gaia big, far-man! Gaia protects Knollings! Leave Knoll-hole, and we forgive bad-ways! Stay, and Gaia curse you! All things Gaia touches will be far-man enemies! Choose now, far-man!”
Though it amused him that the Knollings thought of him as stupid, given his earlier botched attempt at oral communication, he decided that it was better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open his mouth and prove it.
Instead, he placed his left forelimb onto a nearby log and extended his microscopic manipulators into the dead wood to draw out the carbon. Holding his forelimb high for all to see, he rapidly began assembling the carbon molecules into a stylized diamond figure of their sacred mushrooms. He intentionally designed its lattice to make it phosphorescent, so that it would always glow with the same light as the real things. When the idol was complete, and still hot in his hand, he delicately placed it within the fairy ring for the shamans to examine.
While the other Knollings – even the queen – gawked on in fear and wonder, the shamans knew through their bond with the Gaian Overmind that such a thing was not only possible but common among the civilized peoples. Each shaman inspected the offering one by one and, in turn, nodded their approval.
His peace offering accepted and his curse averted, Telandros bowed graciously before shooting up the chimney overhead. Launching himself straight into the air, he resumed his aerial theropod form and continued soaring across the grasslands. He meant now to study the Gaian Overmind in more detail, eager to discover what other unexpected interactions it might have with the ecosystem and its people. Earth truly was a strange planet.
But in all fairness, it always had been.
submitted by A_Vespertine to Odd_directions [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 20:55 Author22 Nightmares

I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
I WAS … BY MYSELF IN AN ABANDONED CITY NO ONE TO HELP ME, I WAS SCARED.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
TREAS FLOOD MY EYES AS I WITNESS A TERRIFYING IMAGE, A BOUT A HUNDRED PEOPLE SCRATCHING AND RIPPING THEIR FACES OFF IN FRONT OF ME, SCREAMING IN PAIN AS TEARS OF BLACKISH DARK BLOOD CAME FROM THERE EMPTY EYE SOCKETS.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
WOKE UP IN AN OLD ABANDONED HOSPITAL ONLY TO FIND MYSELF STRAPPED TO A TABLE AND UNABLE TO MOVE.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
TRAPPED INSIDE MY OWN TV ONLY TO WATCH MY SELF SUFFERING OVER THE STADIC. ( TV COULDN’T STOP GLITCHING I WAS SUFFOCATING). AT THE OTHER SIDE I COULD SEE ME WATCHING, LAUGHING AT THE TV. HER EYES BEGAN TO CHANGE INTO DARK CIRCLES OF A FROWN AND A SMILE WITH ROWS AND ROWS OF SHARP TEETH. I TRY TO SCREAM!, NO ONE CAN HEAR ME.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
A DARK HALLWAY STOOD IN FRONT OF ME, AT THE END WAS A JAR.
NOTHING IN THE JAR BUT WHEN I PICK IT UP, I COULD FEEL SOMETHING AFWAL WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. AS SOON AS I SHAKED THE JAR THOUSANDS OF WHISPERS ECHOED THROUGH THE WHAT WAS NOW A BLACK ROOM SURROUNDED WITH TINFOILED MIRRORS AND DESK LAMPS ATTACHED TO THE WALLS FACING EACH MIRROR. AT THE TIME WHEN YOU WERE LOOKING AT THE MIRRORS IT WOULD FEEL AS IF YOUR REFLECTION WAS PLAYING TRICKS ON YOU BUT ONCES YOU LOOKED AWAY YOU WOULD FEEL NOTHING BUT WORRY, GUILT, AND SHAME.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
IN A WHITE ROOM. IT WAS VERY QUITE. SITTING IN A CHAIR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM. GLASS FELL ON MY HEAD. AGAIN AND AGAIN. THEN WATER THEN ICE, JUST THEN THE ROOM STARTED TO HEAT UP LIKE AN OVEN. SOMEONE WAS COOKING ME. I CAN HEAR THE OVEN DING AND SOMEONE COMING TO REACH FOR THE HANDLE...IT WAS MY MOTHER, I WAS DEAD NOW AND SHE WAS ABOUT TO EAT ME.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
ALL LIMBS WERE CUT OFF.
HEAD? GONE.
RIGHT LEG? GONE.
LEFT LEG? GONE.
BOTH ARMS? GONE. NOTHING BUT MY BODY LEFT, SITTING ON A CHAIR FACING THE WIDE OPEN CURTAIN WINDOW HOPING SOMEONE ANYONE WOULD HELP ME.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
THERE WAS A WOMAN STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A GRASSY FIELD. HER EYES WERE FILLED WITH RED AS BLOODY TEARS SHOWERS FROM IT. THERE'S A ROPE THAT'S CONNECTED FROM THE SKY AROUND HER NECK. SHE WAS BEING PUNISHED FOR HER SINS AND FOR HER ABANDONING HER CHILDREN. THE STORY SAYS “ ON THE DAY OF HER WEDDING SHE WAS NERVOUS, INSTEAD OF HAVING A WARM WELCOME WHEN ENTERING OUTSIDE, THEY GREETED THE WOMEN WITH A WEIRD CONTRAPTION A ROPE HUNG FROM WHAT SEEMED LIKE THE HEAVENS. THE TWO GUARDS PICKED HER UP BY THE ARMS AND PUT HER BEHIND THE ROPE. AFTER THE CODE WORD WAS SAID THEY PUT THE ROPE AROUND HER NECK AND LET THE SKY DO THE REST.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
WALKED INTO A OLD AND UGLY LOOKING HOUSE. INSIDE THE HOUSE DOWN THE HALL WAS A KITCHEN AND IN THE DOORWAY LEADING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE WAS A PALE WITHE WOMEN HANGING UPSIDE DOWN WITH NO LIPS JUST A CIRCLE FOR A MOUTH. INSIDE HER MOUTH I SAW SOMETHING GLOWING, IT WAS A KEY. I REACHED AND PULLED OUT WHAT WAS A SILVER KEY NOW WAS COVERED IN GOOEY BLCAK INKY SALIVA. IT WAS GROSS TO TOUCH I ALMOST THROW UP IN THE SAME HAND AS THE KEY.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM. MY REFLECTION WAS TALKING TO ME. I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND. IT SEEMED TO BE ON GOING THEN A FLASH AT MY MIRROR. MY REFLECTION WAS GONE BUT THEN IT CAME BACK. IT SPOKE BACKWARDS TO ME
(em nioj dna emoc .eid i litnu ,ekawa gnieb ekil i ,ekawa ,ekawa eb ot uoy deen i -taht sgniht eht eerf m'i neht yad erom eno ,erom eno .eerf i neht yek teg - evah uoy edisni kcuts ma i ,em pleh ,em pleh)
(.ylenol dna depart fles ruoy mi ,mi nomaed a ton mi on ,uoy ediug lliw -ton lliw eciov ym ,netsil ot uoy deen i ,deen i)
(!!!em pleh esaelp).
--- I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANT, I LEFT IGNORING HER.
I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
NOW IN A ROOM I'M FAMILIAR WITH, I CHECKED THE TIME. IT'S ONLY 2PM I SIT ON THE BED WONDERING HOW LONG THIS WOULD TAKE. SUDDENLY I HEAR TAPPING ON MY WINDOW, I LOOK OUTSIDE TO SEE CHILDREN ABOUT SIX OR SEVEN OF THEM THEY HAD NO EYES, THERE MOUTHS WERE SEWN SHUT YET I COULD STILL HEAR THEM LAUGHING WITH JOY AS THEY JUST STOOD THERE WATCHING SOMETHING. NOT ME, THERE WAS SOMETHING BEHIND ME, THERE ALWAYS WAS.
submitted by Author22 to u/Author22 [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 20:28 Pangolin_Beatdown What are these and options to replace?

What are these and options to replace?
My barn has 10 of these, and since I bought in 2016 all but one has stopped working. What kind of business do I call to have them replaced? What should I ask for (are these sodium vapor lamps?) Should I just replace the bulbs, or replace the fixtures with LEDs or something else?
I use this space about 10 hours per week.
I would like to minimize up front cost, and I also want a solution that will last another 10+ years before I have to bother again. Thanks!
submitted by Pangolin_Beatdown to Lighting [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 20:13 ScaryScull My creepiest Valentines Night

Please enjoy our original short story. We narrate our stories and those of others on our YouTube channel "Scary Scull" if you'd like to check it out!
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I'm going to tell you a true story about an event that happened to me when I was 12 years old.
The story took place on February 14th at 10 pm (Valentine's Day).
It was the start of a new year (2019). I lived in a safe place (an expensive area). We had a security guard that drove past the houses on the street every 2 hours and a security road barrier where the residents had to use a card to access the street.
Like I said, it was a safe place, or so I thought...
At the start of the year, my parents and the rest of the neighbours all got together to welcome a new security guard. He'd taken over from the old security guard, who had retired before Christmas. We'd thrown a retirement party for him, as he had worked security on our street for a good 20 years.
The new security guard was starting to get to know everyone in the neighbourhood, and we were all glad to know that he used to work for the police. It kind of gave us reassurance.
As the weeks went on, my parents started to have some difficulty. I noticed them arguing more. They had been arguing for months, and it was only getting worse. My parents started to notice that I was more anxious, and it was having a real effect on me.
When they realised this, they made a promise to try and work things out, to come up with a plan, and to also see a couples therapist.
In therapy, the therapist suggested that since it was nearly Valentine's Day, they should both go out and have a romantic evening, and they thought this was a great idea.
So when Valentine's Day arrived, they were getting ready to go out.
This is when it all went downhill.
My mother received a phone call. It was my babysitter; she had called to tell my mom that she couldn't make it as she was sick.
My mom was going to cancel the night, until my dad said that they were already dressed and the night was already planned and paid for.
My dad asked me if it was ok for me to be on my own for the night and told me that he had spoken to the new security guard, Steve, and asked if he would keep an eye on me and check in every hour to see if I was ok.
Since I was more anxious about my parents splitting up than I was about being left alone, I nodded and agreed.
I actually knew that I would be safe; I had Steve the security guard check in on me, and we had CCTV on our road, linked up to the security outpost. To top it all off, my parents also had two Nest cameras covering the front and back gardens.
Our family got along with our neighbours, and we all helped each other out. I was also quite grown up for my age. Unlike any other 12-year-old, I was pretty sensible.
It got to 6pm, and my parents left a couple of minutes after my pizza delivery arrived. I was ready for my night of chilling on my own. I kind of felt like Kevin from the movie Home Alone. I was very excited and had everything planned.
I was going to start my night by watching a horror movie and then playing Xbox online. It would go so fast because I was having so much fun. Or so I thought. Little did I know at the start, but this night turned out to feel like the longest night of my life.
When I finished my pizza, I paused the movie to go into the kitchen and get myself some chocolate.
As I walked into the kitchen, there was a weird sound coming from just outside my backyard. It was so weird that I had to open the backdoor in the kitchen to hear it better. When I opened the door, the noise stopped.
I thought, "That was weird."
Not hearing the noise anymore, I decided to shut the backdoor, lock it, and head back to the living room.
I started enjoying my chocolate and continued watching the movie. While watching, I looked outside the front window and saw a car moving slowly past my house. I recognised it as the security vehicle going past on patrol. After seeing the vehicle, I had a sense of comfort, knowing that I'm safe. Due to this, I guess you could say that I let my guard down.
After the movie ended, I kind of felt a bit disappointed. It wasn't scary at all, and I'd been looking forward to feeling scared and getting that rush.
Feeling a bit annoyed, I went into the kitchen to get some more chocolate. I had 30 minutes to kill since my Xbox Live game wouldn't start until 9:30 pm.
When I was just about to go on my phone, I heard that weird sound again. I quickly ran to the back door to open it and try to hear the noise more clearly.
I opened the door and realised it was a weird clown music box-type sound; the best way I can describe it is like a jack in the box and a snow globe combined.
I got my boots on and went into the backyard to investigate. I had my phone light on and was looking around my garden for where it was coming from. The noise started to slow down, and then it just stopped!
Just before the music stopped, though, I managed to see where it came from. I went towards a bush in my garden and lifted this weird-looking toy. It was a snowglobe, but it was the size of a basketball!
It had a strange key sticking out of the side. I wound the key, and it started to play the same weird tune, but this time slower and more disturbing.
I was watching the snowglobe slowly move and turn, and as the song came to an end, a freaky, melted clown face popped into view, lit up, and an evil laugh sounded. Right at that moment, my phone battery died and the torch light with it. I dropped the globe in fright, and it smashed to pieces on my lawn. I legged it back to the house and quickly locked the door behind me.
I'm really freaked out now, so I called the security line. Steve came to my house, and I told him what happened. He went into the back yard, and there was nothing there—not even any glass on the floor. I was so confused. He looked into his security footage, and he said there had been no one on the street all night except for him.
He asked if I wanted him to contact my parents, but I declined for fear of my parents splitting up. I said to him, "That's ok."
He said that he would do more checks on his patrols, and he told me to contact him if I heard anything and not to leave the house. He mentioned that a lot of the neighbours were also out tonight, so he was going to check around their houses too. To be honest, I think he was glad for a bit of action as it was a boring job!
Later on, I thought to myself that when my parents get back, I'll tell my dad what happened, and he could look back at the NEST security footage.
Steve stayed for 20 minutes to keep me company until my Xbox Live game started. My gaming would keep me occupied for the rest of the night. When it got to a couple of minutes before 9:30 pm Steve left.
I was on my Xbox for about 30 minutes, laughing and insulting my friends, when all of a sudden my wifi went off. I went to restart my wifi, but it wouldn't connect!
Annoyed, I started to go on my phone, only to realise I'd forgotten to charge it. I threw my phone on the sofa, sulking as a 12-year-old would.
As I was feeling sorry for myself, I heard a massive banging noise coming from my front door. I went to open it, as I thought it would be Steve.
No one was there.
I shut the door. Then there was another banging noise, but this time it didn't stop, and it was more of a hammering sound!
I panicked and looked out of the upstairs window and shouted for the person to go away or I'd call security.
The noise suddenly stopped, and the next minute I see a person walking backwards from my house, wearing a melted clown mask like the one from the snow globe. They also had a big clown outfit with big clown shoes. In their hand was a massive hammer!
They walked back and just looked at me, not moving a muscle. I rushed down the stairs to the emergency phone to call Steve, but there was no answer.
I ran back upstairs to get the family's spare mobile phone to call my parents, but there was no signal.
I picked up a knife and walked towards the window to look back out, but no one was there. I couldn't see the clown anywhere! Panicking, I started to feel unwell and wasn't able to breathe. I started to pass out...
Next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. My parents were there; they hugged me and told me that they came back, saw me, and rushed me to the ER.
I had a heart attack! I'm only 12 years old, and I had a heart attack.
The doctor told my parents that if they never decided to come back home early and didn't rush me to the ER, I wouldn't have survived.
A detective was waiting at the hospital, waiting to talk to me. He explained what happened and said that he had arrested someone.
Later on, when I was better and coming out of the hospital, my parents explained to me what had happened that night.
It turned out that Steve the security guard was a paedophile who had escaped an insane asylum. This had been way up north, and the police were looking for him for weeks.
He escaped, created a fake ID and social security credentials, and changed his looks by wearing big glasses and a wig. He pretended to have a police background so people would be more likely to offer him a job in security.
Steve, whose real name was John Burrows, was a genius when it came to hacking.
That Valentine's night, he decided to target me because all the neighbours were going out, my babysitter had cancelled, and my parents trusted him. I guess he thought it was fate...
He couldn't resist the temptation of his perfect night. The one thing he didn't expect was for my parents to come home early.
They saw him with a hammer, just banging on the door, and then walking slowly into the house.
My dad got out of his car, ran up to him, and tasered him. I guess the big shoes on Steve's feet backfired, and he couldn't defend himself.
My mom ran past Steve and upstairs to find me; she picked me up and told my dad to start the car.
They took me to the hospital. My mom used to be a nurse, so she did everything she could to help me along the way.
The police were on their way to the house at this point. They arrested Steve the clown and took him to the station.
My dad looked at the home's security Nest footage, and it showed Steve in the back garden planting a big snow globe and sneaking away.
My dad handed the footage to the detective.
The detective showed the footage to Steve (real name John Burrows) and questioned him.
John started talking, and he started to boast about how he escaped from the insane asylum and how he got a job as a residential security patrol officer.
He mentioned how he always had his clown outfit in the trunk of his car and the sphere-shaped music globe, and that he was waiting for the perfect night to present itself to him...
God knows what that means. I don't want to know... All I know is that he is locked back up in prison and will never get out. He's being sentenced for escaping and for the attempted murder of me.
He will never see the light of day.
The end.
submitted by ScaryScull to stayawake [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 20:12 Gemman_Aster Atomic Shop items you can request through Bethesda Support

I have been maintaining this list of items which may be requested directly from Bethesda Support since the New Year. It seems quite a few Appalachian Wasteland Redditors have found it useful! Sadly, on discussion with the mods I learned they do not permit user posts to be made 'sticky'. While this is unfortunate I do understand their reasons.
On updating the list today I also discovered that Bethesda have greatly expanded its content by just under four times the prior size! Therefore I think it is worth making a new post rather than editing an old one that is likely already lost at the bottom of the subreddit.
In order to request any of these items you must go to the appropriate link for the Xbox Series X/S, PS5 or Steam. If you are playing on an older system it is simple to reach its page from one of these direct links. I am sure it goes without saying your player account must have sufficient Atoms available to pay for the item/s you choose. As part of the process Bethesda Support will respond to your request by ticket and email with the total cost of whatever you order.
EDIT: On going though the process to buy a couple of the new items myself I discovered it to be far more automated. I received a response with the requested cost in atoms straight away. Very good news when you consider it used to take sometimes as long as a week for the purchase to go through.
This list is up-to-date as of 25.03.2023:
  1. Ace Full Assault Power Armor Paint
  2. Alien Plushie
  3. Alien Technology Bundle
  4. Aluminum Trees
  5. Amateur Inventor's Laser Gun Paint
  6. American Flag Set
  7. Angry Fist Shake
  8. Animatronic Cat
  9. Appalachian Thunder Pipe Gatling Gun Paint
  10. Armored Raider Skull Gas Mask
  11. Armory Weapon Paint Bundle
  12. Army Issue Plasma Caster Paint
  13. Astroturf
  14. Atomic Blast Lamp
  15. Barbed Chained Tire Set
  16. Beer Barrel Fridge
  17. Big Game Hunter
  18. Big Red Button Icon
  19. Black Bear Mascot
  20. Black Cat Bundle
  21. Black Knight Paint
  22. Black Pip-Boy Paint
  23. Black Rider Power Armor
  24. Blood Eagle Bow Skin
  25. Blood Eagle Bundle
  26. Blood Eagle Power Armor Paint
  27. Blood Eagle Totem
  28. Bloody Arktos Refrigerator
  29. Bombs Away Mobile
  30. Bone and Felt Antler Headband Set
  31. Bone Gas Mask
  32. Bonnet
  33. BOS Backpack
  34. BOS Scouting Tower
  35. Bottle Icon
  36. Boxing Ring
  37. Brambles
  38. Brew-haha Bundle
  39. Brotherhood Armory
  40. Brotherhood Bundle
  41. Brotherhood High Tech Stash
  42. Brotherhood of Steel Digital Deluxe Bundle
  43. Bubble Blower Machine
  44. Bucking Brahmin Bundle
  45. Bucking Brahmin Mask
  46. Bucking Brahmin Ride
  47. Bunker Bundle
  48. Burgundy Modular Sofa Set
  49. C.A.M.P. Structure Starter Bundle
  50. Cactus Set
  51. Camden Park Mega Bundle
  52. Camo Secret Service Underarmor
  53. Camo Secret Service Armor Paint
  54. Camo Utility Cap
  55. Cappys Nuka-Cola Train Bundle
  56. Captain Cosmos Outfit
  57. Captain Cosmos Power Armor
  58. Captain Cosmos Power Armor Bundle
  59. Caravan Trader Outfit
  60. Carnivorous Plant
  61. Cash Register Vending Machine
  62. Castle Bed
  63. Cat Topiary
  64. Cement Tire Set
  65. Chalk Letter Kit
  66. Charleston Fire Station
  67. Charleston Fire Station Bundle
  68. Christmas Sitting Room Bundle
  69. Cinder Blocks Wallpaper
  70. Clandestine Gauss Weapons Bundle
  71. Clandestine Service Gauss Shotgun Paint
  72. Clandestine Service Minigun Paint
  73. Classic Jukebox
  74. Classic Performance Stage
  75. Classic Western Bundle
  76. Classical Column
  77. Classy Girl Player Icon
  78. Clean Bathroom Bundle
  79. Clean Billboard
  80. Clean Boxing Ring
  81. Clean Chally Outfit
  82. Clean Mannequin Set
  83. Clean Shower
  84. Clean Sink
  85. Clean Small Generator
  86. Clean Toilet
  87. Clean Water Purifier
  88. Clean White Picket Fences
  89. Coal Duster Excavator Power Armor Paint
  90. Coffin Backpack
  91. Coffin Decoration
  92. Coffin Stash Box
  93. Collectron Bundle
  94. Colored Oval Lights
  95. Comforts of Home Bundle
  96. Comin' to Town Bundle
  97. Communal Firepit
  98. Communist Bunker
  99. Communist Collectron Station
  100. Communist Fence
  101. Communist Handmade Gun Skin
  102. Communist Militant Outfit
  103. Communist Military Safe Stash Box
  104. Communist Officers Gas Mask
  105. Communist Salute Emote
  106. Communist Spy Bundle
  107. Communist Spy Outfit
  108. Contemporary C.A.M.P. Bundle
  109. Cowboy Hat
  110. Cowhide Outfit
  111. Creepy Mothman Player Icon
  112. Crypt Crook Backpack
  113. Cuddles Outfit
  114. Cultist Dungeon Bundle
  115. Dark Harlequin Face Paint
  116. Dark Matter Combat Rifle Paint
  117. Dark Wood Laminate
  118. Dart Board
  119. Dead Mans Hand Posters
  120. Death Awaits Skull Totem
  121. Death Ray Bug Zapper
  122. Decorative Room Divider
  123. Deep Cave Bundle
  124. Deep Cave Hunter Outfit
  125. Diamond Eyes Face Paint
  126. Down Home Comfort Bundle
  127. Down Home Dweller Bundle
  128. Down Home Wallpaper Set
  129. Duster
  130. Easter Bundle
  131. Easter Rabbit Plushie
  132. Electro 2000 Fireplace
  133. Elm Tree Set
  134. Encampment Bridge
  135. Encampment Fences
  136. Encampment Fortress Bundle
  137. Enclave Backpack
  138. Enclave Bundle
  139. Enclave C.A.M.P. Bundle
  140. Enclave Power Armor Paint
  141. Enclave Turret Set
  142. Equalizer Power Armor Paint
  143. Eye Patch Bundle
  144. F.E.T.C.H. Collectron Station
  145. Fancy Thanksgiving Display Case
  146. Farm Life C.A.M.P. Bundle
  147. Fasnacht Bundle
  148. Fasnacht C.A.M.P. Bundle
  149. Fasnacht Collectron Station
  150. Fasnacht Mask Bundle
  151. Fasnacht Mask Display
  152. Fasnacht Mystical Mask Bundle
  153. Fat Man Aviator Paint
  154. Feral Ghoul Bundle
  155. Feral Ghoul Costume
  156. Fez
  157. Fire Chief Bundle
  158. Fire Hazard Backpack
  159. Firewatch Tower
  160. Firing Range Posters
  161. Fish Lamp
  162. Floor Walker Outfit
  163. Flower Cart
  164. Fluorescent Light Set
  165. Flyboy Bundle
  166. Flyboy Icon
  167. Flyboy Outfit
  168. Four Poster Bed
  169. Free States Scout Armor Paint
  170. Freedom Stars Neon Sign
  171. Freight Wagon
  172. Fringed Dress
  173. Future-Tec Bundle
  174. Gag Glasses Bundle
  175. Gala Dress
  176. Gala Tuxedo
  177. Gatling Plasma Copperhead Paint
  178. Ghillie Netting Bundle
  179. Ghoul Icon
  180. Giant Neon Letters
  181. Gladiator Outfit
  182. Glow-in-the-Dark Map
  183. Gold 50 Cal Machine Gun Paint
  184. Gold Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
  185. Gold Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
  186. Golden Years Set
  187. Good Fortunes Bundle
  188. Grafton Monster Mascot Outfit
  189. Grahm Plushie
  190. Grahms Green Bundle
  191. Green Thumb Bundle
  192. Greenhouse Kit
  193. Greenhouse Kit Bundle
  194. Grognak Battlecry
  195. Grognak Hero Bundle
  196. Grognak Plushie
  197. Gurney Bed Set
  198. H.A.R.E. Power Armor Skin
  199. Halberd
  200. Halloween C.A.M.P. Bundle
  201. Halo and Horns Set
  202. Hammock
  203. Hanging Planters
  204. Haunted House C.A.M.P. Bundle
  205. Haunted House Floor
  206. Haunted House Porch Set
  207. Haunted House Staircase
  208. Hay Bales
  209. Heart Balloons
  210. Hellcat Outfit Bundle
  211. Hellfire Regulator Power Armor Paint
  212. Hero Statue Set
  213. High-Powered Weapon Racks
  214. High-Tech Stash
  215. Holiday Nuclear Tree
  216. Holidays Emote Bundle
  217. Hot Tub
  218. Hubris Comics Magazine Rack
  219. Hubris Comics Wallpaper
  220. Hunting Lodge Bundle
  221. I Survived!
  222. Imposter Assaultron Head
  223. Inflatable Snowman
  224. Inner Tube Deck Chair
  225. Jail Walls
  226. Junk Fences
  227. Junkyard C.A.M.P. Bundle
  228. Junkyard Dog Collectron Station
  229. Junkyard Power Armor Paint
  230. Kill, Laugh, Love Neon Sign
  231. Large Nuka-Cola Bottle
  232. Large Succulent Set
  233. Laser Grid Door
  234. Laundered Blue Dress
  235. Laundered Cream Dress
  236. Laundered Rose Dress
  237. Leperchaun Outfit
  238. Leprechaun Bundle
  239. Leprechaun Outfit
  240. Liberator Bot Lamp
  241. Liberty Prime Power Armor Skin Set
  242. Light Bulb Letters Set
  243. Light Wood Laminate
  244. Lion Dancer Outfit
  245. Log Cabin Kit
  246. Log Cabin Porch Set
  247. Lover Girl Icon
  248. Lucille's Lullaby
  249. Lumberjack Bundle
  250. Lumberjack Outfit
  251. Makeshift Mega Mansion
  252. Mascot Head
  253. Matte Black Equalizer Power Armor Paint
  254. Matte Black Handmade Paint
  255. Mausoleum Bundle
  256. Meat Cooler Backpack
  257. Medical Scrubs
  258. Medical Scrubs Cap
  259. Medical Smile Mask
  260. Medieval C.A.M.P. Bundle
  261. Megaton Hairstyle
  262. Military Beret Bundle
  263. Mini Deathclaw Statue
  264. Mini Nuke Planter
  265. Mini Power Armor Statue
  266. Minigun Chrome Paint
  267. Missile Silo Shelter
  268. Missile Silo Shelter Bundle
  269. Mob Boss Bundle
  270. Modern Ceiling Fan
  271. Modern Fireplace
  272. Modular Mainframe Set
  273. Mole Rat Generator Suite
  274. Mole Rat Icon
  275. Mole Rats Painting
  276. Monocle
  277. Montani Semper Liberi
  278. Moonshine Mama Mask
  279. Mosaic Tiles
  280. Mothman Bed
  281. Mothman Cultist C.A.M.P. Bundle
  282. Mothman Cultist Candle Torch
  283. Mothman Cultist Goat Totem
  284. Mothman Cultist Icon
  285. Mothman Cultist Torches
  286. Mothman Curtain Door
  287. Mothman Frame
  288. Mothman Furniture Set
  289. Mothman Gas Mask
  290. Mothman Hunter Bundle
  291. Mothman Hunter Outfit
  292. Mothman Jetpack
  293. Mothman Neon Billboards
  294. Mothman Outfit Bundle
  295. Mothman Pip-Boy Paint
  296. Mothman Plushie Backpack
  297. Mothman Poster
  298. Mothman Power Armor Paints and Lamp
  299. Mothman Sleeping Bag
  300. Mothman Statue
  301. Mothman Traveler Bundle
  302. Mothman Wallpaper Bundle
  303. Mothman Worship Emote
  304. Mountaineer Outfit
  305. Mounted Fish Set
  306. Mounted Radhog Head
  307. Movie Poster Set
  308. Mr. Claus Player Icon
  309. Mr. Claus Suit
  310. Mr. Fuzzy Backpack
  311. Mr. Fuzzy Balloon Animal
  312. Mr. Fuzzy Cowboy Plushie
  313. Mr. Fuzzy Halloween Plushie
  314. Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
  315. Mr. Fuzzy New Year's Plushie
  316. Mr. Fuzzy Player Icon
  317. Mr. Fuzzy Power Armor Helmet
  318. Mr. Fuzzy Tinkers Workbench
  319. Mr. Fuzzy Valentine's Day Plushie
  320. Mr. Pebbles Lamp
  321. Mr. Pebbles Plushie
  322. Mr. Pebbles Space Explorer Backpack
  323. Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
  324. Mrs. Claus' Dress
  325. Mrs. Claus Player Icon
  326. Mudflap Hat Set
  327. Mummy Dearest Icon
  328. Mushroom Lamp
  329. Mutant Dummy
  330. Nautical Anchor Tattoo
  331. Neighborhood Square Shelter
  332. Neon Palm Reader Sign
  333. Neon Sign Set
  334. New Year's Banner
  335. New Year's Eve Bundle
  336. New Year's Icon
  337. New Year's Tuxedos Bundle
  338. Night Eyes Icon
  339. Night Terror Gauss Rifle Paint
  340. No Thank You Emote
  341. No Way Emote
  342. Northern Lights Paint T-51 Power Armor Paint
  343. Nuclear Holiday Tree
  344. Nuclear Winter Poster Set
  345. Nuka-Cola Bottle Display Rack
  346. Nuka-Cola Bundle
  347. Nuka-Cola Cask Stool
  348. Nuka-Cola Cooler
  349. Nuka-Cola Cooler Backpack
  350. Nuka-Cola Curtain Door
  351. Nuka-Cola Dark Power Armor Paints
  352. Nuka-Cola Delivery Bundle
  353. Nuka-Cola Jumpsuit Set
  354. Nuka-Cola Neon Billboard
  355. Nuka-Cola Projection Lamp
  356. Nuka-Cola Quantum Bottle Lamp
  357. Nuka-Cola Quantum Bundle
  358. Nuka-Cola Quantum Sign
  359. Nuka-Cola Secret Door Bundle
  360. Nuka-Cola Stained Glass Lamps
  361. Nuka-Cola Vending Machine
  362. Nuka-Cola Wallpaper Set
  363. Nuka-Girl Rocketsuit
  364. Old Man Summer Mask
  365. Old Possum Bar Sign
  366. Old West Bar Set
  367. Ole Timey Diner Bundle
  368. Outhouse
  369. Pack Rat Backpack
  370. Painting Set 2
  371. Pajamas
  372. Pale Rider Photoframe
  373. Pale Rider Power Armor
  374. Pallet Wood Floor
  375. Pallet Wood Wallpaper
  376. Parachute Backpack
  377. Park Ranger Bundle
  378. Park Ranger Power Armor Skin
  379. Patriotic The Fixer Paint
  380. Pickaxe Pilsner Bar Sign
  381. Pink Neon Heart Sign
  382. Pipe Organ
  383. Pitt Scaffold Kit
  384. Plague Doctor Mask
  385. Plain Curtain Door
  386. Plasma Ball Set
  387. Plotting Table
  388. Plushie C.A.M.P. Bundle
  389. Poodle Skirt
  390. Portrait Secret Door
  391. Potted Succulents
  392. Pristine Moe the Mole Outfit
  393. Pumpkin Vault Girl Head
  394. Raider Collectron Station
  395. Raider Culinarian Outfit
  396. Raider Pathfinder Outfit
  397. Raider Salute
  398. Raider Skinner Outfit
  399. Raider Skull Gas Mask
  400. Raider Vending Machine
  401. Raider Warlord Outfit
  402. Raider Waster Bundle
  403. Rain Water Collector
  404. Raven Perch
  405. Red Enamel Stove
  406. Red Menace Backpack
  407. Red Menace Bundle
  408. Red Modular Mainframe
  409. Red Rocket Diner Set
  410. Red Rocket Door
  411. Red Rocket Garage
  412. Red Rocket Mega Furniture Bundle
  413. Red Rocket Power Connectors
  414. Red Rocket Ranger Power Armor Bundle
  415. Red Rocket Stash Box
  416. Red Scare Power Armor Skin
  417. Red Shift Backpack
  418. Red Shift Floor
  419. Red Shift Power Armor Skin
  420. Responder Power Armor Paint
  421. Responders Bundle
  422. Rest in Pieces C.A.M.P. Bundle
  423. Revolutionary Bundle
  424. Revolutionary Outfit
  425. Roadtripper Outfit
  426. Robber Halloween Bundle
  427. RobCo Snow Machine
  428. Robot Steins Display Case
  429. Rocket Ceiling Fan
  430. Round Deck Table
  431. RR Ranger Power Armor Paint
  432. Rusted Chain link Fence
  433. Rustic Fountain
  434. Rustic Greenhouse Bundle
  435. Rustic Greenhouse Kit
  436. Rustic Room Divider
  437. Rustic Sink
  438. Rusty Raider Skull Gas Mask
  439. Samurai Outfit
  440. Santa Bag Backpack
  441. Santa Statue
  442. Santa's Slay Power Armor Bundle
  443. Santatron Collectron Station
  444. Satellite Dish
  445. Scavenger Collectron Station
  446. Screaming Eagle Handmade Gun Skin
  447. Screaming Eagle Wood Skin
  448. Secret Service Backpack
  449. Secret Service Bobblehead Stand
  450. Secret Service Camo Bundle
  451. Secret Stash Bookcase
  452. Seedy Shed
  453. Sequin Dress
  454. Shadow Prime Power Armor Skin
  455. Share the Love Bundle
  456. Sheepsquatch Plushie
  457. Shelter Catwalk Bundle
  458. Shelters Mainframe Bundle
  459. Shogatsu Bundle
  460. Silver Shroud Costume
  461. Silver Shroud Plushie
  462. Six Pack Loot Bag
  463. Skull Lord War Suit
  464. Skull Mask
  465. Skull Totem Set
  466. Slocum's Joe C.A.M.P. Bundle
  467. Slocum's Joe Coffee Machine
  468. Snow Globe Lamp
  469. Snowglobe
  470. Solid Color Wallpaper Set
  471. Space Suit
  472. Spiked Barricade
  473. Spikehawk Hairstyle
  474. Spring Bundle
  475. Square Rug Bundle
  476. Stainless Steel Refrigerator
  477. Stalker Outfit
  478. Standing Lamp
  479. Stanley
  480. Stocking Set
  481. Street Lamps
  482. Stuffed Radstag
  483. Summer Shorts
  484. Sun Hat
  485. Super Angry
  486. Survivalist Outfit
  487. Thanksgiving Bundle
  488. Thanksgiving Kitchen Bundle
  489. The Nighthawk Skin
  490. The Quack Outfit
  491. Theremin
  492. Top Secret Door
  493. Trailblazer Bundle
  494. Turkey Mascot Outfit
  495. Untarnished Alien Blaster Paint
  496. Valentine's Backpack
  497. Vampire Costume
  498. Vault Boy/Girl Power Armor Helmet Set
  499. Vault Girl Mascot Head
  500. Vault Girl Scribble Head
  501. Vault-Tec Grandfather Clock
  502. Vault-Tec Laser Gun Paint
  503. Vault-Tec Locker Bay
  504. Vault-Tec Refrigerator
  505. Vault-Tec Spa
  506. Vault-Tec Starter Bundle
  507. Vendor Sign Set
  508. Vintage Linen Coat
  509. Wall Weapon Racks
  510. War Rider Power Armor
  511. Warband Face Paint
  512. Waste Barrel Planter
  513. Wasteland Trapper Outfit
  514. Wasteland Werewolf Outfit
  515. Watchpost
  516. Waterbed
  517. Wavy Willard's Letters
  518. Wavy Willard's Park Bundle
  519. Wavy Willard's Swimsuit Bundle
  520. Wavy Willard's Wipeout Slide Bundle
  521. Welcome Friends Sign
  522. Welcome Home Neon Sign
  523. Welcome to Helvetia Bundle
  524. West Virginia Table Set
  525. Western Bar Bundle
  526. White Wallpaper
  527. Whitesprings C.A.M.P. Bundle
  528. Whitesprings Wallpaper Set
  529. Wildman Rags
  530. Wildwood Den Bundle
  531. Wildwood Tavern
  532. Wildwood Tavern Bundle
  533. Willard Plushie
  534. Wolf Howl Emote
  535. Worm Farm
  536. Wrought Iron Fence
  537. Zoltan Fortune Teller
submitted by Gemman_Aster to fo76 [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 19:53 ScaryScull My creepiest Valentines Night

Please enjoy our original short story. We narrate our stories and those of others on our YouTube channel "Scary Scull" if you'd like to check it out!
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I'm going to tell you a true story about an event that happened to me when I was 12 years old.
The story took place on February 14th at 10 pm (Valentine's Day).
It was the start of a new year (2019). I lived in a safe place (an expensive area). We had a security guard that drove past the houses on the street every 2 hours and a security road barrier where the residents had to use a card to access the street.
Like I said, it was a safe place, or so I thought...
At the start of the year, my parents and the rest of the neighbours all got together to welcome a new security guard. He'd taken over from the old security guard, who had retired before Christmas. We'd thrown a retirement party for him, as he had worked security on our street for a good 20 years.
The new security guard was starting to get to know everyone in the neighbourhood, and we were all glad to know that he used to work for the police. It kind of gave us reassurance.
As the weeks went on, my parents started to have some difficulty. I noticed them arguing more. They had been arguing for months, and it was only getting worse. My parents started to notice that I was more anxious, and it was having a real effect on me.
When they realised this, they made a promise to try and work things out, to come up with a plan, and to also see a couples therapist.
In therapy, the therapist suggested that since it was nearly Valentine's Day, they should both go out and have a romantic evening, and they thought this was a great idea.
So when Valentine's Day arrived, they were getting ready to go out.
This is when it all went downhill.
My mother received a phone call. It was my babysitter; she had called to tell my mom that she couldn't make it as she was sick.
My mom was going to cancel the night, until my dad said that they were already dressed and the night was already planned and paid for.
My dad asked me if it was ok for me to be on my own for the night and told me that he had spoken to the new security guard, Steve, and asked if he would keep an eye on me and check in every hour to see if I was ok.
Since I was more anxious about my parents splitting up than I was about being left alone, I nodded and agreed.
I actually knew that I would be safe; I had Steve the security guard check in on me, and we had CCTV on our road, linked up to the security outpost. To top it all off, my parents also had two Nest cameras covering the front and back gardens.
Our family got along with our neighbours, and we all helped each other out. I was also quite grown up for my age. Unlike any other 12-year-old, I was pretty sensible.
It got to 6pm, and my parents left a couple of minutes after my pizza delivery arrived. I was ready for my night of chilling on my own. I kind of felt like Kevin from the movie Home Alone. I was very excited and had everything planned.
I was going to start my night by watching a horror movie and then playing Xbox online. It would go so fast because I was having so much fun. Or so I thought. Little did I know at the start, but this night turned out to feel like the longest night of my life.
When I finished my pizza, I paused the movie to go into the kitchen and get myself some chocolate.
As I walked into the kitchen, there was a weird sound coming from just outside my backyard. It was so weird that I had to open the backdoor in the kitchen to hear it better. When I opened the door, the noise stopped.
I thought, "That was weird."
Not hearing the noise anymore, I decided to shut the backdoor, lock it, and head back to the living room.
I started enjoying my chocolate and continued watching the movie. While watching, I looked outside the front window and saw a car moving slowly past my house. I recognised it as the security vehicle going past on patrol. After seeing the vehicle, I had a sense of comfort, knowing that I'm safe. Due to this, I guess you could say that I let my guard down.
After the movie ended, I kind of felt a bit disappointed. It wasn't scary at all, and I'd been looking forward to feeling scared and getting that rush.
Feeling a bit annoyed, I went into the kitchen to get some more chocolate. I had 30 minutes to kill since my Xbox Live game wouldn't start until 9:30 pm.
When I was just about to go on my phone, I heard that weird sound again. I quickly ran to the back door to open it and try to hear the noise more clearly.
I opened the door and realised it was a weird clown music box-type sound; the best way I can describe it is like a jack in the box and a snow globe combined.
I got my boots on and went into the backyard to investigate. I had my phone light on and was looking around my garden for where it was coming from. The noise started to slow down, and then it just stopped!
Just before the music stopped, though, I managed to see where it came from. I went towards a bush in my garden and lifted this weird-looking toy. It was a snowglobe, but it was the size of a basketball!
It had a strange key sticking out of the side. I wound the key, and it started to play the same weird tune, but this time slower and more disturbing.
I was watching the snowglobe slowly move and turn, and as the song came to an end, a freaky, melted clown face popped into view, lit up, and an evil laugh sounded. Right at that moment, my phone battery died and the torch light with it. I dropped the globe in fright, and it smashed to pieces on my lawn. I legged it back to the house and quickly locked the door behind me.
I'm really freaked out now, so I called the security line. Steve came to my house, and I told him what happened. He went into the back yard, and there was nothing there—not even any glass on the floor. I was so confused. He looked into his security footage, and he said there had been no one on the street all night except for him.
He asked if I wanted him to contact my parents, but I declined for fear of my parents splitting up. I said to him, "That's ok."
He said that he would do more checks on his patrols, and he told me to contact him if I heard anything and not to leave the house. He mentioned that a lot of the neighbours were also out tonight, so he was going to check around their houses too. To be honest, I think he was glad for a bit of action as it was a boring job!
Later on, I thought to myself that when my parents get back, I'll tell my dad what happened, and he could look back at the NEST security footage.
Steve stayed for 20 minutes to keep me company until my Xbox Live game started. My gaming would keep me occupied for the rest of the night. When it got to a couple of minutes before 9:30 pm Steve left.
I was on my Xbox for about 30 minutes, laughing and insulting my friends, when all of a sudden my wifi went off. I went to restart my wifi, but it wouldn't connect!
Annoyed, I started to go on my phone, only to realise I'd forgotten to charge it. I threw my phone on the sofa, sulking as a 12-year-old would.
As I was feeling sorry for myself, I heard a massive banging noise coming from my front door. I went to open it, as I thought it would be Steve.
No one was there.
I shut the door. Then there was another banging noise, but this time it didn't stop, and it was more of a hammering sound!
I panicked and looked out of the upstairs window and shouted for the person to go away or I'd call security.
The noise suddenly stopped, and the next minute I see a person walking backwards from my house, wearing a melted clown mask like the one from the snow globe. They also had a big clown outfit with big clown shoes. In their hand was a massive hammer!
They walked back and just looked at me, not moving a muscle. I rushed down the stairs to the emergency phone to call Steve, but there was no answer.
I ran back upstairs to get the family's spare mobile phone to call my parents, but there was no signal.
I picked up a knife and walked towards the window to look back out, but no one was there. I couldn't see the clown anywhere! Panicking, I started to feel unwell and wasn't able to breathe. I started to pass out...
Next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. My parents were there; they hugged me and told me that they came back, saw me, and rushed me to the ER.
I had a heart attack! I'm only 12 years old, and I had a heart attack.
The doctor told my parents that if they never decided to come back home early and didn't rush me to the ER, I wouldn't have survived.
A detective was waiting at the hospital, waiting to talk to me. He explained what happened and said that he had arrested someone.
Later on, when I was better and coming out of the hospital, my parents explained to me what had happened that night.
It turned out that Steve the security guard was a paedophile who had escaped an insane asylum. This had been way up north, and the police were looking for him for weeks.
He escaped, created a fake ID and social security credentials, and changed his looks by wearing big glasses and a wig. He pretended to have a police background so people would be more likely to offer him a job in security.
Steve, whose real name was John Burrows, was a genius when it came to hacking.
That Valentine's night, he decided to target me because all the neighbours were going out, my babysitter had cancelled, and my parents trusted him. I guess he thought it was fate...
He couldn't resist the temptation of his perfect night. The one thing he didn't expect was for my parents to come home early.
They saw him with a hammer, just banging on the door, and then walking slowly into the house.
My dad got out of his car, ran up to him, and tasered him. I guess the big shoes on Steve's feet backfired, and he couldn't defend himself.
My mom ran past Steve and upstairs to find me; she picked me up and told my dad to start the car.
They took me to the hospital. My mom used to be a nurse, so she did everything she could to help me along the way.
The police were on their way to the house at this point. They arrested Steve the clown and took him to the station.
My dad looked at the home's security Nest footage, and it showed Steve in the back garden planting a big snow globe and sneaking away.
My dad handed the footage to the detective.
The detective showed the footage to Steve (real name John Burrows) and questioned him.
John started talking, and he started to boast about how he escaped from the insane asylum and how he got a job as a residential security patrol officer.
He mentioned how he always had his clown outfit in the trunk of his car and the sphere-shaped music globe, and that he was waiting for the perfect night to present itself to him...
God knows what that means. I don't want to know... All I know is that he is locked back up in prison and will never get out. He's being sentenced for escaping and for the attempted murder of me.
He will never see the light of day.
The end.
submitted by ScaryScull to scarystories [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 17:36 FitInvestigator5945 NAPOLIFILM

Alright boys, this spot is hot and somebody saw 10 bodies sink to the river’s bottom. Let us skedaddle up on out of here. We have more hostages to tend to.
NAPOLI and his crew head on to return the truck and finish out their other plans.
We cut to how the police officers woke up in a fucked up position like that anyway. NAPOLI, SEBASTIAN and CHESTER the JESTER all enter a navy blue van to capture police officers. CHESTER and NAPOLI are the gunmen while SEBASTIAN drives.
Their current mission is to scour the roads looking for police officers who have pulled over citizen vehicles. In total they find 10 and hold only 5 captive. We cut to the 1st cop’s perspective.
His name is CHET PATTERSON and he sees somebody speeding profusely. CHET proceeds to pull over ADAM right away. ADAM is scared because he left his license at home. He prays for GOD to help him out. CHET walks out of his patrol car and walks over to ADAM’s car. OFFICER CHET asks ADAM for his license and registration.
We cut to NAPOLI and his crew pulling up behind them in their van. NAPOLI pulls out his tranq gun, sticks his upper body out of the van window and shoots 2 darts in CHET’s neck. ADAM shakes in fear from witnessing what just happened.
CHET falls to the ground as NAPOLI and CHESTER the JESTER exit the van. NAPOLI holds up CHET’s upper half while CHESTER
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gains control of his lower body. NAPOLI apologizes to ADAM for startling him and asks him to leave the scene. ADAM holds a silly, sad facial expression out of shock.
ADAM voices his appreciation for NAPOLI’s intervention due to the fact ADAM didn’t have his license present. NAPOLI jokes that now the police are after him and his crew. NAPOLI tells ADAM bye and ADAM reverses and drives south while NAPOLI and his crew drive north looking for more pre-occupied police officers.
NAPOLI and crew drive back to a hideout to drop the 1st body off. On their way there they see another cop on a routine traffic stop. SEBASTIAN pulls over 10 yards away from the police cruiser. NAPOLI and CHESTER the JESTER put their gas masks back on and exit the vehicle. NAPOLI instructs SEBASTIAN when to pick them back up.
NAPOLI pulls a spiked baseball bat from under the van’s seats and CHESTER arms his pistol with a silencer. NAPOLI and CHESTER exit the van and CHESTER takes the lead role in distracting the police officer while NAPOLI sneaks up behind him. CHESTER runs up to the car’s passenger side and shoots the cop’s partner twice in the head.
After hearing this, NAPOLI increases his velocity and launches at the officer as he pulls his weapon out on CHESTER the JESTER. The camera freezes on an in air NAPOLI for 5 seconds. We cut to a still shot of NAPOLI connecting the spiked baseball bat into the remaining officer’s head. The audience is expected to “ooh” and “aw” during both still shots.
CHESTER screams out with glee. NAPOLI looks at the bloody spikes innocently. SEBASTIAN pulls up next to the soldiers. NAPOLI points his bat at the citizen being pulled over.
NAPOLI
You didn’t see anything, we didn’t do anything, and this officer was never even here. You are going to go home, get some pussy, go to sleep; and wake up convinced this was a startling night terror. Don’t make me come after you.
NAPOLI slides open the door for CHESTER the JESTER as he pulls the bloody officer into the van arms first.
NAPOLI
Naw, I’m just fucking with you man, this nigga had it coming, big time.
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NAPOLI looks at his handy work (the dead cop’s body). CHESTER heads to the 1st cop who died during this transaction and pulls him out of the car and into the group van.
NAPOLI
You can tell whoever you want; we paint our van weekly nigga and never drive with license plates. I wish a pig would pull us over. Negro please! What do you thinks’ going to happen next?
The man trembles to get his words out.
MANNY
You’re most likely going to engage them in armed combat?
CHESTER falls out of the van laughing at MANNY’s response.
CHESTER
What type of fucking response is that? I can’t do this, I can’t do this!!!
NAPOLI
You got damn right sonny boy. You know why?
NAPOLI picks up CHESTER and helps him back in the car.
SEBASTIAN
Come on man, we need more pigs.
NAPOLI
I’m lil Wayne bitch! Tunechi!!!
NAPOLI slides the door closed as the van drives off. There are 2 coffins in the van and NAPOLI and CHESTER the JESTER place the unconscious cops into a coffin. NAPOLI instructs SEBASTIAN to relocate to the hideout to dump the bodies. NAPOLI, CHESTER and SEBASTIAN drive to the “good spot” to stash the bodies.
They all enter a shady looking facility. NAPOLI questions CHESTER on the cement and CHESTER shows the containers to NAPOLI. NAPOLI rubs his gloved hands together and responds with “excellent!!!” NAPOLI walks over to the corner and arrives back with 2 heavy buckets of wet cement. 2 empty metal trash cans sit in the room’s center and CHESTER wheels the caskets over to them.
CHESTER and SEBASTIAN open the 1st casket and share the weight of hanging his upper body over the trash can while his legs flop on the inside of the can. NAPOLI then pours as much
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cement as needed to cover their bodies’ hip down. NAPOLI looks up at the ceiling, makes an animated face as the camera moves down to see him pull out his silenced pink pistol. NAPOLI shoots the officer in the head. NAPOLI shouts out “Bingo!!!”
NAPOLI asks to leave the vicinity and come back once this cement is concrete. “Then we begin principal photography.” This refers to the scene where the 10 cops get dumped into a NYC River. We cut back to SPENCER and TEL AVIV’s law conversation. TEL AVIV continues writing down these detailed notes.
SPENCER
Part II of preservation of evidence AVIV; evidence seeming to be favorable to a suspect and the suspect would be unable to replace should not be destroyed by law enforcement officers. Next chapter, last one actually: entrapment; a person “entrapped” into committing a crime is immune from prosecution for that crime. Entrapment occurs when law officers or their agents implant in an innocent man’s mind the disposition to commit a crime and then induce him to commit the crime so they can prosecute him. Merely giving a person who is already predisposed to commit a crime the opportunity to do so is not entrapment.
Well that is all for today Ms. TEL AVIV. I hope your thirst for criminal law knowledge and police procedures are temporarily satisfied.
TEL AVIV
Oh yes, I am so ready to build a case study around this information. I’ll email it to you once it’s entirely completed. Ok?
SPENCER
Sounds grand! Have a great remainder of the afternoon.
TEL AVIV stands up and exits the building.
We cut to NAPOLI and TEL AVIV walking out of a restaurant months before she returned to Sweden. As they pass a nearby river they notice a white girl fall into the river. NAPOLI selflessly jumps into the river and rescues the child along with help from her father. News crews begin to arrive on the scene. NAPOLI refuses to comment and he and TEL AVIV catch a ride back to her apartment.
We cut to a recap of every single police officer who was murdered or at least injured throughout the film. The montage will be accompanied by Lupe Fiasco’s “Little Weapon” from his “The Cool” album. We cut to different scenes of all the minor characters in the film, (SAM, CHARLIE, JAFAR, SASHA, CARTER and a few others) watching the news. The news anchors discuss the
38 recent events where over 100 hundred police officers were murdered over the last week. All the characters display their individual concerns. The news then reports supposedly a terrorist has sent in a videotape possibly containing unreachable demands. NAPOLI’s 1st video begins to play on the television screens. We hear “ladies and gentlemen, salutations.” And we
FADE TO BLACK
o 1. There was a conversation I was having with a friend a yr ago and he brought this observation to my attention. “If a domesticated housecat were the same size as the bigger cats, they wouldn’t be housecats anymore basically.” I like that idea, just have to figure out how to explain it, soon enough. Any ideas? There is a chance I can include this story with the shark one, not sure yet. If I do I haven’t decided if the cats will help the people from the sharks or assist the sharks, maybe both. To the cats the sharks can be tuna out the can. “No Ceilings Got dammit now the frikkin sky showing UGH!!!”
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  1. The working title of this movie is “Ah Hell Naw!” it’s a reactionary title due to the synopsis. It is intended to be a horror-comedy but the scarier We can get it the better. There have been so many horror movies made over the decades it’s challenging to bring an original concept to the table. And here it is courtesy of YOUNG MONEY FILMS: I was walking around in my old job many months ago and I was carrying a notebook to log down ideas in like I always do. It got me thinking, the scariest thing to me personally as a creative artist, would be if something was hell bent on stealing my ideas. Like Wayne just imagine, some devilish creature ACTUALLY stealing your rhymes before you can record them and completely wiping your memory of it. It never fails, you think it, and they snatch, just leaving you blinking. A
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creature whose purpose was to steal your drive, your passions, your hobbies, is basically stealing your life force. They just leave you lethargic. To some people, this is worse than death. I’m combining this idea with one just recently being sent to me from OUR GOD. I want these same creatures to attack you while you’re performing productive activities. You’re taking a shower and they’re after you. They catch you making up your bed, you’re toast. Washing the dishes? Oh hell Naw, you’re dead motherfrikking meat then! Washing the car, same thing. One of their catchphrases while attacking you will be “Yebba de dep”. I haven’t figured out if everyone attacked will die because the point is to let them live meaningless existences. It’s going to end up being extremely funny. I did figure out the human being responsible for these creatures spread thru suburbia and he’ll lose his life by the creature’s hands as well. I want these creatures to have EXTREME SWAG! The working taglines are “Lethargy anyone?” and “Where only the lazy survive!” the overruling theme throughout will be CHORES DO NOT KILL anyone, so do them. People don’t get attacked while taking showers and washing the dishes, most times. My older brother and I argue about the dishes because he’s 28 and he just expects me to clean all the dishes when he only cooks for himself. And thus this movie was born. I hope you see potential because I do, I’m currently asking GOD for inspiration for their physical appearance, demeanor and disposition. The other theme will be balance between ambition and lethargy because even the lazy will be attacked, just for the hell of it. Now you probably understand why it’s titled “Aw Hell Naw!” 2. Steven Spielberg scared the crap out of the world when he created
“Jaws”. The next YOUNG MONEY FILMS commercial hit is this: over the last million years, the oceans began drying up and sharks began evolving to live on land. They operate like big cats do basically. Where “Jaws” made it unsafe for people to swim, this makes it unsafe for people to be outside period. That’s what makes it so scary, in “Jaws” you had to swim to be a victim, here it is so different. Its not realistic but once immersed in the story, you are so happy it may never happen. And if Sharks do in fact evolve to live on land, we called it 1st with GOD’s help. I want these sharks to pounce like tigers, lions and panthers. I even want them to evolve to the point where they have wings. It will be a fantasy and all the explanations come from evolution, not genetic mutation, that’s outdated. Where the Jaws poster had the shark swallowing a person from the bottom, our film
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will have the Great white shark swallowing the person from the top; he’s flying down. I see so much potential in this film particularly. 3. There was a conversation I was having with a friend a yr ago and he brought this observation to my attention. “If a domesticated housecat were the same size as the bigger cats, they wouldn’t be housecats anymore basically.” I like that idea, just have to figure out how to explain it, soon enough. Any ideas? There is a chance I can include this story with the shark one, not sure yet. If I do I haven’t decided if the cats will help the people from the sharks or what, maybe both. To the cats the sharks can be tuna out the can. “No Ceilings Got dammit now the frikkin sky showing!!!”
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The following are Short Film treatments
Treatment# 1:
“You know what would be good for You? Creating Commercials!
A group of guys dressed in all yellow rainbow colors or tie dye continually robbing people on camera The victims never truly see it coming because they are immersed into their reading The victims will be walking down the street reading their books oblivious to the crimes being planned and plotted against them
These groups of armed burglars and shop lifters specialize in one thing stealing innocent people s books These crooks love to read and apply the knowledge they learned (The camera will catch them robbing small book stores of their entire inventory) They will then photo read the books and re sell them on Amazon thus creating a huge fan base and income window
They beat the stuffing out of the kids they catch reading in public humiliating them purposely (Once funding gets better We can show different sets of these groups all over the state, country and world). They can be seen emptying out their duffle bags full of stolen books and book lights on
43 their hide out tables They will be as excited as a group of bank robbers who pulled off 1000 successful heists while invisible
The moral of the short film will be promoting reading because it is not nearly as dangerous as the short film suggests. The film actors will mock the average viewer’s inability to choose reading as an active pastime by looking directly into the camera’s eye and screaming out “And We better not catch You slipping up either...”
The Screenplay
EXT. On the main road –DAY
Jimmy Jam Shot is walking down His neighborhood’s main road reading His newest book. Two other shady characters, REOUS and SEBASTIAN, are plotting to escape with Jimmy’s books.
JIMMY JAM SHOT
...the best way to gain an attractive status with Women is to improve You constantly. Women love what they can not have and nothing is more attractive than a busy and successful male figure. If ladies see You constantly around town filming movies...they are going to be crawling ALL OVER YOU.
REOUS decides this is the perfect time to pull off the information abduction. He pulls out the unseen part of His baseball bat and prepares to “crack an effendi skull.”
REOUS
Right...now
REOUS and SEBASTIAN begin to pace quickly towards JIMMY JAM SHOT. JIMMY is so into His book He doesn’t see the pre-planned ambush in pre-production.
JIMMY JAM SHOT
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What in the ---?
At this point in time, REOUS and SEBASTIAN initiate the beat down on JIMMY. JIMMY is totally unaware of the imminent danger He is in when it starts. The first strike is a blow to His neck and head area with a wooden baseball bat. REOUS hits JIMMY first and SEBASTIAN follows up with a thoroughly placed hit to the knee cap. By this time JIMMY is on the ground screaming in agony’s pain. (These scenes will all feature the freeze frame. Right before the bat connects with His different body parts, the camera will just freeze the current frame. The viewers will assume JIMMY was effectively hit by each blow because His body will keep assuming the new injured positions.)
JIMMY JAM SHOT
Please... just take it...I don’t want it anymore, DAMN!
Also, JIMMY is giving up His books, His most valuable assets at this point in time. He tosses the books further away from His body to avoid further physical damage. REOUS and SEBASTIAN begin to run off with a bag full of books courtesy of JIMMY JAM JAM. JIMMY tries to regain His physical composure but is heavily unable to do so.
INT. REOUS’ hideout spot –NIGHT
REOUS and SEBASTIAN are so excited to witness the sun set on another successful mission. They receive extreme thrills from robbing people only for their books and reading materials. SEBASTIAN empties out all the contents of the first bag. They have collected three bags full of books today. SEBASTIAN
Now I know this wasn’t the most successful day We’ve had in recent months...but Woo Gee Jolly Christopher, We are effectively in business.
REOUS and SEBASTIAN are researching how much the books they have “collected” are worth online. They are consulting Amazon’s website, entering the ISBN numbers from the book’s back covers.
REOUS
How to be a better macaroni!—worth $12.00 Used.
10 better tips to employ in Your employment search--$5.00 Used
The 100 most successful seducers of all time--$7.77 Used
Make More Money by Speaking--$11.00 Used
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How to run an effective farmer’s market grocery chain--$22.00 Used
SEBASTIAN
Bingo! That is $57.77 U.S. currency My good man. Look’s like We can just stop here. No need for greediness My man. So You know the protocol way before We even THINK about selling one book online
They both respond in harmonious unison
SEBASTIAN and REOUS at the same time
PHOTOREADING!!!
INT. SEBASTIAN’s private study room --DAY
The scene now switches to just SEBASTIAN sitting in His “private study” located inside His hideout. He is sitting formally, with His right ankle on top of His left knee while reading. He looks up towards the camera and addresses the viewers. He begins to briefly break down the most important steps to the Photo-reading process.
He has one of His archive’s books in His hand for the presentation
SEBASTIAN
First step is to tell Yourself what the purpose of reading the publication is in the first place. The 2nd step is to spend no more than 3 seconds on each page. This should take You about 10 minutes tops, maybe 30 minutes. This is labeled the previewing process. What previewing does is conditions Your mind to the format of the book. After previewing, You are aware of all the sub-chapters, the charts, graphs, boxed in sections, author’s notes and any other surprises. Previewing is similar to coming to grips with all the food located on Your dinner plate. It is easy to become confused in the 1st 20 pages of a 320pg novel.
The 3rd step is the actual photo-reading process. This is where You stare at the middle of the page. Your peripheral vision should be able to absorb both pages at thee same time at this point. This process stores all the pages into Your subconscious mind. This is a time consuming process and from experience, I recommend keeping a list of the exact phase You are in with each particular book. The more books You engage, the easier it is to forget where You are in certain books. It is not the most encouraging feeling.
Now tis is the funniest part; The incubation section. Incubation is when You let each book relax in Your mind for at least 24 hours or overnight. This is where
46 metaphysics comes into play because You have all the information in Your brain; You just are not aware You are using it. Here, awareness is important though. Put the book up until You wake up now.
Once the book is effectively incubated, rapid reading is the next step. Rapid Reading is when You read every word as quickly or as slowly as You desire. Throughout this entire process, You should feel déjà vu. It should seem as if You have read through this information before; because in essence, You really have. This is where the majority of laughs will take place. Before You can get to the rapid reading section, You must first let the material incubate itself inside Your mind. This is where the most evident benefit stemming from photo-reading is visible. While the first book is incubating, You are encouraged to preview and photo-reading at least two other books. Attempt to photo-read two books per night, and in 2 to 3yrs tops; You will be an expert in at least one field You find interesting. Now what’s better than that home-skillet?
Treatment #2: Accepting Everything Perceivable...4 Her Sake
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CVVGORV VQ 6JKU %QOOQP .CF[ % . YKNN WPFGTOKPG *KU CVVGORVU VQ TG HTKGPF *GT D[ WVKNK\KPI UJQTV UYGGV QT JKIJN[ PGWVTCN CPUYGTU Now the scene transitions into an area where Chad is sitting down looking directly into the camera eye. He will look incredibly frustrated due to the stressing aspects of the “current situation”. He will verbally inform the viewer of just how aggravated He is at C.L.’s responses. He finishes by saying: “You know what viewer? I won’t stress it...Not at all. I’m just going to keep a cool demeanor and initiate another conversation with a female; right in front of C.L. From C.L. to C.L.” The scene switches back to “the present moment” where C.L. is ignoring Chad.
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47 (TCOG KU KORNGOGPVGF YJKNG %JCF UMKRU KPVQ VJG CKT HQTGXGT 6JG HTGG\G HTCOG VCMGU RNCEG TKIJV CU %JCF GZKVU VJG DWKNFKPI KP VTKWORJ
Treatment #3- Being More Responsible and Responsive
(This short will start with Chad sitting in a deli speaking to a former co worker They are discussing life at the present moment and the mistakes Chad made in the past resulting in Him getting fired Chad let s Sissy know He is really broken up over the consequences His actions held in store for Him ) Sissy tells Chad at this point He didn t do anything wrong just because He admitted everything He did wrong She tells Chad; now the issue is the other girl involved is the one lying Chad understands how other people ARE involved in the situation but He doesn t forget HIS ACTIONS got Him fired It is just so easy for Me to blame any one else for what happened to Me But the fact remains; I did this to Myself This short will mainly just focus on the conversation between the two companions The visual effects are still undecided Chad lets Sissy know; the only way He is going to get C L back into His life is to become the most Successful person anyone has ever observed The irony is once I am this successful My options will be damn near unlimited Sissy laughs uncontrollably for 30 seconds and then recites Mike Jones Back then they didn t want Me now I m hot they re all on Me Now the scene can switch to Chad sitting down in a chair talking to the camera. He could be explaining how being more responsive helped Him earn Sissy’s respect. “It’s not about earning Her respect. It’s more about following through with Your spiritual principles all the time. And that earns people’s respect all the time.”
Treatment #4- Work On Yourself instead of Women
I used to work at a Supermarket and while there I worked on Myself NOT on the Women but on Myself I can only change Myself and You can only change Yourself Nothing ever has to be entirely TRUE If things are not going Your way and Your first thought is to change another You are playing for the wrong team The best way to a Woman s Romantic Yin Energy is to Change Yourself first Your Perspectives Perceptions and Life Results will have little choice but to change afterwards
48 This short will start off with Chad plucking His bookshelf Plucking His bookshelf is when Chad stuffs His most valuable unread books into His bag before He leaves the house You will also observe Him putting three pens into His pocket One for lending out which may never be returned and two for Me to transcribe Our ideas 3 pens have little use without an empty notebook to write special ideas in so Chad of course includes one The scene shifts to where You see Chad sitting in the middle of social group conversing He is the most silent because His self defined purpose is not conversing He is working on Himself Almost everybody around Him knows about Him He just chooses to be self sufficient at the present moment The simple fact He is so indulgent into His work makes the group s majority just wonder and ponder about His intentions At some point the group decides to include Chad in the conversation. Chad secretly intended this because His props had been in place. His “conversational props” include His laptop, headphones, music, books, pens, notepads and self sufficient, positive mental attitude. “With all these items in place, it is tempting for a stranger not to ‘initiate’ small talk.”
Treatment #5: Go Through a Formal Conditioning Process to Kick Out Your Inner Negativity
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%JCF TGEGKXGU HTQO *KU FCKN[ OGFKVCVKQP 1PG UEGPG YKNN RQTVTC[ %JCF TGCFKPI YTKVKPI PQVGU CPF UVQTKGU FQYP URGCMKPI VQ FKHHGTGPV RGQRNG CPF QVJGT JGNRHWN CEVKXKVKGU #PQVJGT UEGPG YKNN UJQY *KO VJTQYKPI *KU DQQMU CTQWPF KP UQOG UQTV QH HCMG VGORGT VCPVTWO 6JKU UEGPG QPN[ KNNWUVTCVGU VJG EQOKE TGNKGH %JCF KU ECRCDNG QH EQOOKVVKPI QP ECOGTC While Chad is throwing His hissy fit these captions will scroll across the screen: “Learning is Fun, BUT...some newly learned principles and spiritual truths can cause highly undesired pain.” This will end with a caption reading “Too Bee Continuated”
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Treatment #6-Formal Conditioning Riot continued
This scene will focus on “Troy the Light Casey” aka “J Quest” meditating in His own special way. These next scenes will heavily illustrate the difference of perspective and routines when approaching meditation according to different souls. Troy the Light WILL NOT be seen throwing His books. Instead, the viewers will observe Him collapsing on the floor in laughter because of what He has just internalized. The next scene will show both Chad and Troy in a grocery store “picking up women” together. Chad will have Mystery’s “Pick Up Artist” in hand; Troy will have “The Game” by Neil Strauss. They will then be seen switching books and then initiating conversations with various women.
The short will conclude with both Troy and Chad letting their respective women read separate excerpts from the text resulting in different situations. Troy will induce “His female” into a fainting episode; He will then catch Her and kiss Her intensely. She will then wake up thank Him for His efforts and pull Him outside the store while declaring “Have I got an assignment for You sweet cheeks.” Chad’s female will be outrageously offended by His chosen paragraph and will bend over and punch His chest and abdomen with both fists. Another lady will have crept behind Chad by this time and is awaiting Her friend’s punch. The punch causes Chad to stumble over the other female. He laughs out of shock and necessity as He falls to the ground. While Chad falls to the ground, Brendan will throw a bunch of His notes into the air for an added effect.
Brendan will now pop up over a freeze frame and state: “Now I know that was funny...it was...My moms still laughing. Now check this result out. In this scene, the lady will still react in a hostile manner. This time the female will perform a spinning kick to Chad’s face. (I have yet to come up with a special effect for this so I just may be kicked in My face in reality.) Now the captions will read: “To avoid disastrous consequences of this nature...Be sure You have fully conditioned Yourself formally.”
Treatment #7-Creating a Powerful Self Image You Love Now for FREE!!!
This scene will begin with Chad living in His bathroom mirror He will be observed listening to His favorite positive mood inducing music while dancing with His shirt off He will have a list of His favorite and most positive aspects ABOUT HIMSELF in which He recites with the upmost sincerity and confidence in Himself He will ask Himself on camera What type of person shall I die AS Chad WICK?!?? Chad will then list the qualities the dead Chad will have possessed before that fateful time Chad will also introduce the viewers to the 3 Dimensional Image theory by using His pyramid example Once the pyramid tidbit is finished He will encourage the viewers to clear up the image they see of themselves He
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will deliver a 30 second speech based upon Association and Human Development The short will conclude with Chad asking the viewers Are You the Person You would like to Be? If the answer is no then Create a Compelling Self Image and work towards it This will Increase Your Sex Appeal effortlessly You will naturally become more Attractive to the Women You find Attractive
Treatment #8- Keep Your Reference Frame Focused on The Inside Now for FREE!!!
submitted by FitInvestigator5945 to DXYRSISPOT [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 17:35 FitInvestigator5945 NAPOLI FILM

This scene will open up with Chad walking around a grocery store in two separate sequences The first sequence will show Chad moving around according to everyone else s standards There will be a different narrator to illustrate the difference in perspective Chad will feel incredibly awkward around others because of what they might think The purpose of this is to convey the world where Chad only acts to please others who don t really care enough about Him The next scene will show Chad walking through the same store but with a much improved mental attitude This time Chad will walk around with an incredible pep in His step His head is as high up as can be The narrator in this part is Chad Himself He will be extremely pleased at how He is making Himself feel This feeling will also permeate throughout the entire area He passes through It can conclude with a few shots of nearby females observing Chad s new pep in His step At the same time a recorded audio can play representing the Women s thoughts and internal moods
Treatment #9: Continue to Utilize Your Portable Self Image Fool Now for FREE!!!
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Treatment 10: Realize Failure is A BS Invention Fool!!!
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Treatment #11- Run Your Own Race, Set Your Own Goals Man!!!
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Treatment #12- You Must Train Yourself to Love Seeking the Next Level
6JKU UJQTV ECP DGIKP YKVJ %JCF *CTTKU ECTGHWNN[ GZCOKPKPI CNN *KU EWTTGPV JQV DQQMU *G KU HTGVVKPI DGECWUG *G FQGUP V UGG *KOUGNH HKPKUJKPI CNN VJQUG DQQMU KP C OQPVJ U VKOG *G CNUQ HGGNU QPEG *G HKPKUJGU TGCFKPI VJQUG DQQMU *G UVKNN YQP V DG EQORNGVG 6JGP *G FGEKFGU VQ VCMG C DTKGH PCR &WTKPI VJG PCR 6TQ[ VJG .KIJV %CUG[ GPVGTU *KU FTGCO VQ UJGF UQOG YGNN PGGFGF YKUFQO QP %JCF *G KPHQTOU %JCF *G ECP PGXGT QWV GXQNXG *KU NKHGURCP ,WUV VJGP %JCF WPFGTIQGU C NKHG EJCPIKPI TGCNK\CVKQP *G UJQWNF LWUV VCMG *KU VKOG VQ CEEQORNKUJ *KU IQCNU CPF GXGT[VJKPI GNUG YKNN HCNN JQRGNGUUN[ KPVQ RNCEG 6JGP %JCF YKNN DG UKVVKPI CV C FKPGT U VCDNG YKVJ C HGY DWUKPGUU CUUQEKCVGU 6JGUG RCTVPGTU YKNN MGGR VGNNKPI %JCF JQY COC\KPI *G KU 6JG[ YKNN MGGR DQQUVKPI *KU HTCIKNG GIQ D[ NGVVKPI *KO MPQY *KU YQTM KU GZVTCQTFKPCT[ 6JGP %JCF NCVGT JCU C FTGCO YJGTG 6TQ[ NGVU *KO MPQY *G PGGFU VQ IGV KPVQ C EKTENG YJGTG VJG RCTVKEKRCPVU CTG PQ NQPIGT KORTGUUGF D[ *KU CEEQORNKUJOGPVU $GKPI JGTG YKVJ GXGT[QPG UWEMKPI WR VQ ;QW YKNN PGXGT JGNR ;QW GXQNXG 5KT %JCF 9JCV ;QW PGGF KU C NKVVNG TWFG CYCMGPKPI *CXG HWP DGKPI *WODNG
One Person’s Imagination Fool!!!
6JKU UJQTV YKNN UVCTV QHH YKVJ C VGGPCIGT 6G\ VCMKPI C RGCEGHWN YCNM YKVJ JKU NKVVNG EQWUKP 2GVG 6JG RQKPV QH VJG UJQTV KU VQ KNNWUVTCVG YKVJ GZCORNGU JQY GXGT[ VJKPI YG UGG YCU QPEG KOCIKPGF KP VJG OKPFU QH FKHHGTGPV ITGCV KPFKXKFWCNU
6G\ YKNN QDUGTXG C ECT YKVJ 2GVG 6G\ YKNN CUM 2GVG JQY YJQGXGT ETGCVGF ECTU ECOG WR YKVJ VJG KFGC 2GVG YKNN CPUYGT + JCXG PQ ENWG OCP 6G\ YKNN RQKPV VQ VJG YKPFUJKGNF VJG YKPFUJKGNF YKRGTU VJG VKTGU VJG TKOU VJG VTWPM VJG VTWPM RQRRKPI OGEJCPKUO CPF OCP[ QVJGT ECT RCTVU 6G\ YKNN CUM 2GVG YJCV RTQDNGOU FKF RGQRNG HCEG DGHQTG VJGUG KPXGPVKQPU YGTG ETGCVGF! 9JCV MKPF QH PGICVKXG EQOOGPVU FKF VJG FKUDGNKGXGTU OCMG VQ VJG KPXGPVQTU DGHQTG VJG[ CEEQORNKUJGF VJGKT IQCNU!
6JG[ YQWNF VJGP GPICIG KP C TQNG RNC[KPI ICOG ECNNGF VJCV NN PGXGT
JCRRGP HQQN *GTG CTG VJG TWNGU
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6G\ RKEMU QWV CP KPXGPVKQP *G VJGP RTGVGPFU KV YCU PGXGT KPXGPVGF CPF KV ECOG HTQO JKU
KOCIKPCVKQP VJTQWIJ )QF 6G\ TWPU CPF VGNNU 2GVG CDQWV JKU PGY KPXGPVKQP YKVJ OWEJ GZEKVGOGPV 6JGP 2GVG KU UWRRQUGF VQ UC[ OGCP CPF JQTTKDNG VJKPIU VQ OCMG 6G\
DGNKGXG KV YKNN PGXGT JCRRGP KP TGCNKV[
6JG UJQTV YKNN GPF YKVJ 6G\ NQQMKPI KPVQ VJG ECOGTC CPF FGENCTKPI GXGT[ DQF[ JCU RTQDNGOU CPF UQOG RGQRNG CTG IKXGP COC\KPI VJQWIJVU VQ UQNXG OCP[ RGQRNG U RTQDNGOU 6JGTG YKNN CNYC[U DG RGQRNG YJQ FQ PQV ETGCVG UQNWVKQPU DWV NQXG VQ VGCT FQYP QVJGT RGQRNG U UQNWVKQPU +H VJG YQTNF U OQUV UWEEGUUHWN RGQRNG FKFP V HCNN XKEVKO VQ VJGUG JCVGTU PGKVJGT UJQWNF [QW MKFU FREEZE FRAME YKVJ C UOKNG
6JKU UJQTV YKNN KPENWFG OQUVN[ %JCF %JCF YKNN UVCTV QHH VCNMKPI FKTGEVN[ KPVQ VJG ECOGTC *G YKNN CUM VJG XKGYGTU OCP[ GHHGEVKXG SWGUVKQPU 'XGT[ QPG QH JKU SWGUVKQPU YKNN CNNWFG VQ VJG UWEEGUU NCY QH FGNKXGTKPI OQTG UGTXKEG VJCP RCKF HQT *G YKNN VCMG VJG XKGYGT VJTQWIJ OCP[ XCTKQWU UKVWCVKQPU
;QW TG FTKXKPI WR VQ $WTIGT -KPI CPF [QW QTFGT C PWODGT YKVJ NGOQPCFG 6JG[ FGEKFG KPUVGCF VQ EJCTIG [QW HQT C PWODGT YJKEJ JCRRGPU VQ EQUV OQTG CPF KPUVGCF QH NGOQPCFG VJG[ UGPF [QW C EQEC EQNC CPF [QW HTKIIKPI JCVG EQEC EQNC ;QW TG OQTG QH C 2GRUK EQNC OCP DWV [QW FKFP V QTFGT C 2GRUK [QW QTFGTGF NGOQPCFG 0QY OC[DG [QW ECP PQV VCMG QWV [QWT HTWUVTCVKQPU QP CNN $WTIGT -KPIU CETQUU VJG YQTNF HQT VJG TGUV QH [QWT NKHG DWV [QW OC[ DG XGT[ JGUKVCPV VQ XKUKV VJKU RCTVKEWNCT TGUVCWTCPV KP VJG HWVWTG 6JCPM )QF [QW EJGEMGF VJG TGEGKRV CPF VJG DCI DGHQTG [QW NGHV VJG FTKXG VJTW YKPFQY 6JCV U YJCV JCRRGPU YJGP VJG RGQRNG YJQ UGTXKEG WU FQP V OGGV QWT DCUKE GZRGEVCVKQPU #NVGTPCVG TGCNKV[ Freeze frame here and transition out 6JKU VKOG [QW RWNN VQ C NQECN /E&QPCNFU DGECWUG [QW LWUV FQP V UWRRQTV $WTIGT -KPI CP[OQTG +PUVGCF QH URGPFKPI FQNNCTU OKPKOWO QP C
XCNWG OGCN [QW FGEKFG VQ QTFGT FQWDNG EJGGUGDWTIGTU OGFKWO HTKGU CPF C XCPKNNC OKNMUJCMG NCTIG 0QY EJGEM VJKU VJKU RCTVKEWNCT /E&QPCNF U OCPCIGT JCU OCFG UQOG KORQTVCPV DWFIGV EWVU CNNQYKPI JKO VQ IKXG GFKDNG HTGGDKGU CYC[ HQT VJG GPVKTG FC[ 6JG[ FGEKFG VQ CFF GZVTC FQWDNG EJGGUGDWTIGTU GZVTC NCTIG HTKGU PQ UCNV CPF GZVTC UVTCYDGTT[ NCTIG UJCMG VQ [QWT QTFGT CNN HQT HTGG 0QY VJKU OC[ UGGO JKIJN[ WPNKMGN[ DWV FKUTGICTF VJCV +H VJG[ FKF KP HCEV FQ VJKU YQWNF [QW DG GZEKVGF VQ UJQR VJGTG KP VJG PGCT HWVWTG! Now Chad will be ecstatic because his point has been effectively proven. I want about 5 different transitions each going into a short scene where Chad physically expresses his excitement. “And
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that’s why us servicers should ‘thrive’ at every opportunity to provide more service than paid for...as always. ́
An Ecstatic Now Moment!!!
I started writing original poems at age 5 for family member’s birthdays
Now it is part of a well executed plan to get me out of my worst days
But every day is wonderful because
My perception is God’s greatest gift to me...duh
This is unfamiliar to you though, this is in fact our first meeting
And I practiced so much just so you can tell Ms. Winfrey “oh he gave such a pleasant greeting”
The best gifts possible for Christmas, of course my mother knew
Books by Michael Crichton, now I’m witty, charismatic, energetic and articulate too
My biggest dream is to be a much better parent to my future kids
My single mother was always there; daddy on the other hand, was gone before the wind
My second biggest dream is to meet my film quota
As well as scooping up the Oscars and sharing them with Oprah
And Harpo
My thoughts though
Are very well planned
And I consider myself a very well mannered young man
The truth is I’m twenty
But opportunities of this magnitude are not always plenty
55 So I’d rather convey my ambitious spirit to you all, instead of demanding give me
Because you all do not owe me anything, but I’m afraid I owe myself
The chance to become an independent African American filmmaker; so please TUNECHI, can a brother earn a little help?
Idol-lessons series overview
The first TV Movie is titled “Idol-lessons; Entering Planet Dearth”
6JG KFGC QH +FQN NGUUQPU ECOG VQ %JCF :\CXKGT *CTTKU FWTKPI JKU UGPKQT [GCT CV 5CNGO *KIJ KP %QP[GTU )GQTIKC 6JG UJQY U EQPEGRV KU CDQWV OCKP HTKGPFU VJWU HCT 6JKU KU VJG HKTUV FQEWOGPVCVKQP QH VJKU JKUVQTKECN CPKOCVGF UGTKGU &WTKPI C EQPXGTUCVKQP YKVJ JKU QNFGT DTQVJGT ,WUVKP %JCF FGEKFGF VQ EJCPIG VJG URGNNKPI CPF RTQPWPEKCVKQP QH VJG UJQY U VKVNG #V HKTUV VJG UJQY YCU VKVNGF #FQNGUEGPEGU 1PEG %JCF VQNF ,WUVKP JQY VJG UJQY YQWNF TGXQNXG CTQWPF JQY VJG OCKP EJCTCEVGT U RGTEGKXGF VJGKT KFQNU ,WUVKP UWIIGUVGF *G URGNN KV QWV +FQN NGUUQPU DWV RTQPQWPEG KV CU #FQNGUEGPEGU 0GGFNGUU VQ UC[ VJG KFGC UVWEM
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
HNGUJGF QWV GFKVGF CPF HKPCNK\GF UQ VJG 68 OQXKGU ECP DG ETGCVGF CV VJG UCOG VKOG CU VJG UGCUQPU CTG 6JKU YKNN CNNQY VJG XQKEG CEVQTU VQ TGEGKXG C UVGCF[ CPF EQPUKUVGPV UQWTEG QH KPEQOG 6JG CTVKUV VGCO YKNN JCXG VQ KPENWFG C IQQF COQWPV QH VCNGPV DQVJ KP SWCNKV[ CPF KP SWCPVKV[ VQ JCPFNG VJG FGOCPF QH VJG UJQY CPF VJG RQUV UJQY 68 OQXKG
6JG UETKRVU YKNN JCXG VQ DG HKPCN YC[ DGHQTG VJG UGCUQP CKTU UQ VJG 68 OQXKG ECP HQNNQY VJG UGCUQP U HKPCNG QP VKOG 6JG XKGYGTU YKNN YCKV HQT VJG 68 OQXKG DGECWUG OQUV UJQYU FQ PQV TGIWNCTN[ HQNNQY VJKU EWUVQOGT UGTXKEG U[UVGO 6JCV KU UVKNN PQ TGCUQP HQT VJG ETGY VQ VCMG CFXCPVCIG QH VJKU HCEV /C[DG VJG 68 OQXKG ECP CEVKXGN[ KPVTQFWEG PGY EJCTCEVGTU VJGKT DCEM UVQTKGU
VJGKT CODKVKQPU CPF CESWKTGF RGTURGEVKXGU
56
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
6JG .CY QH #VVTCEVKQP VJG EQPEGRV QH VJQWIJVU DGEQOG VJKPIU 9G YGTG
RNCEGF QP VJKU 'CTVJ D[ QWT ETGCVQT CPF YG DGNKGXG UJG ICXG WU VJG WPFGPKCDNG CDKNKV[ VQ EQPVTQN QWT KPFKXKFWCN WPKXGTUGU YKVJ QWT OQUV EQPUVCPV CPF RGTUKUVGPV VJQWIJVU CPF GOQVKQPU DQVJ RQUKVKXG CPF PGICVKXG 6JKU RKGEG YKNN UJCRG VJG OCLQTKV[ QH VJG UGTKGU KV KU +FQN NGUUQP U HQWPFCVKQP 2TGUGPEG CPF VJG RQYGT QH PQY 'EMJCTV 6QNNG VGCEJGU WU KP VJG RQYGT QH
PQY CPF C PGY 'CTVJ VJG DGUV YC[ VQ NKXG C RGCEGHWN NKHG KU VQ CFQRV VJG OKPF UGV QH CPKOCNU 6JKU OKPF UGV KU PQ OKPF CV OQUV VKOGU +H [QW QDUGTXG VJG VJQWIJVU GPVGTKPI [QWT OKPFU CV CNN VKOGU [QW VCMG VJG PGICVKXG VJQWIJVU OWEJ NGUU UGTKQWUN[ 9JGP C IQQUG GPFU C HKIJV YKVJ CPQVJGT IQQUG KV UKORN[ HNCRU KVU YKPIU RTGVV[ JCTF CDQWV VKOGU VQ TGNGCUG VJG GZEGUU UVTGUU #HVGT C HGY OQOGPVU VJG IQQUG TGVWTPU VQ YJCVGXGT KV YCU FQKPI DGHQTG 6JKU KU C XGT[ JGNRHWN CVVKVWFG VQ JCXG KP
VQFC[ U UQEKGV[ 9G CTG PQV QWT OKPFU QWT OKPFU CTG UKORN[ C )QF
IKXGP VQQN $GEQOKPI OQTG CVVTCEVKXG OQUV OCNG URGEKOGP FQ PQV GPICIG KP VJG FCKN[
CESWKUKVKQP QH JGNRHWN MPQYNGFIG +H VJGUG OGP FKF JQYGXGT VJG[ YQWNF CNOQUV CWVQOCVKECNN[ DGEQOG OWEJ OQTG UWEEGUUHWN YKVJ VJG QRRQUKVG UGZ 5KPEG VJKU UJQY KU DCUGF QP [T QNFU VJG[ YKNN JCXG ICKPGF CP GZVTGOG CFXCPVCIG QXGT OQUV VGGPCIGTU 6JG CFQNGUEGPV UVCIG KU TKIJV YJGP RWDGTV[ JKVU OCP MKPF CPF KV ECP DG UQ WP MKPF 6JGUG EJCTCEVGTU JQYGXGT YKNN WPFGTUVCPF GZCEVN[ JQY VQ GPICIG YQOGP KP EQPXGTUCVKQP JQY VQ GPF VJKU UCOG EQPXGTUCVKQP QP VQR JQY VQ IGV YQOGP VQ KPKVKCVG QRGP EQPXGTUCVKQPU YKVJ VJGO JQY VQ VGNN KPVGTGUVKPI UVQTKGU VQ VJGUG YQOGP
JQY VQ OKZ RJ[UKECN JGCV YKVJ GOQVKQPCN EQNFPGUU VQ DGEQOG CP QDLGEV QH FGUKTG 6JKU KU CNUQ IQKPI VQ DG CV VJG HQTGHTQPV QH VJG UJQY U OGUUCIG +V KU CNOQUV WPNKOKVGF 'XGT[ RGTUQP UVTKXGU VQ DGEQOG UWEEGUUHWN YKVJ PQV
57
LWUV VJG QRRQUKVG UGZ DWV YKVJ NKHG U EJCNNGPIGU RGTKQF 6JG[ UC[ UGZWCN FGUKTG KU DGPGCVJ GXGT[ JWOCP GPFGCXQT UQOGYJGTG CV NGCUV 6JG EQOGF[ YKNN EQOG HTQO VJG HCEV VJGUG CTG RTGVGGPU YJQ CTG DGIKPPKPI VQ WPFGTUVCPF VJKU NGUUQP 4GUKFWCN 2CUUKXG KPEQOG OQUV RGQRNG CTG XGT[ EQPVGPV YKVJ LQDU DGECWUG VJG[ CTG PQ NQPIGT CYCTG QH VJGKT WPNKOKVGF QRVKQPU 6JGTG KU PQVJKPI YTQPI YKVJ C PQTOCN VQ QEEWRCVKQP *QYGXGT YJCV KU EQPUKFGTGF YTQPI KU URGPFKPI CNN VJG KPEQOG QDVCKPGF HTQO LQDU QP YGCNVJ TGFWEKPI NKCDKNKVKGU 6JG YGCNVJ[ URGPF VJGKT KPEQOG U OCLQTKV[ QP KPEQOG RTQFWEKPI CUUGVU 6JGUG KPEQOG RTQFWEKPI CUUGVU CWVQOCVKECNN[ RC[ HQT CNN [QWT GZRGPUGU KH [QW QPN[ RWV VJG VKOG CPF GHHQTV KPVQ KV 6JG YGCNVJ[ ECP DWKNF C KPEQOG HTQO C LQD KPVQ RGT [T TGUKFWCN KPEQOG YKVJ C UVGCF[ U[UVGO /QUV RGQRNG CTG PGKVJGT CYCTG QH VJKU HCEV QT CTG EQWTCIGQWU CPF RCUUKQPCVG GPQWIJ VQ CEVKXGN[ RWTUWG KV FCKN[ YKVJQWV EGCUKPI 5Q CV VJG DGIKPPKPI QH VJG UGCUQP CPF HKTUV OQXKG [QW YKNN QDUGTXG VJG OCKP EJCTCEVGT U UVTWIINGU CPF VTKWORJU KPVQ VJG TGCNO QH 4GUKFWCN +PEQOG 6JG UJQY YKNN GHHGEVKXGN[ UJQY VJG OQOGPV VJKU EQPEGRV KU KORNCPVGF EQPEGKXGF KP VJG OCKP EJCTCEVGT U OKPFU +V YKNN CNUQ FKURNC[ VJG QRRQUKVKQP U FGVGTOKPCVKQP VQ WPFGTOKPG UVCNN CPF FGRNGVG VJG GHHQTVU QH VJG RTQVCIQPKUVU /QUV PQVCDN[ VJG XKGYGTU YKNN QDUGTXG VJG GZCEV CPF CPKOCVGF RTQEGUU VJG EJCTCEVGTU YGPV VJTQWIJ VQ CEEQORNKUJ VJGKT IQCNU 1PEG VJKU IQCN KU CEEQORNKUJGF JQYGXGT VJG GPVKTG OQQF QH VJG UJQY UJCNN UJKHV DGECWUG OQTG HKPCPEKCN LQ[ CPF CXCKNCDKNKV[ YCU LWUV CFFGF
Main Idol-lesson Character Development
(QT PQY VJG UJQY YKNN TGXQNXG CTQWPF VJG GZRNQKVU QH OCKP EJCTCEVGTU CPF VJGKT KPPGT EKTENGU
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he beginning of every episode will see Spoons listening to a different audio book chapter or live audio seminar which sets the episode s tone and mood
58 1P 5RQQPU VJ DKTVJFC[ JG YKNN KPGZRNKECDN[ YCMG WR VQ HKPF JKOUGNH DNKPF YKVJ PQ EJCPEG QH TGEQXGT[ 6JG UGCUQPU YKNN EQPVCKP HTGSWGPV HNCUJDCEMU VJG XKGYGTU YKNN DG CDNG VQ UGG KPHCPV 5RQQPU CNN VJG YC[ VQ [T QNF 5RQQPU YKVJ JKU TGIWNCT XKUKQP 5RQQP MPQYU FKHHGTGPV NCPIWCIGU +H VJG XQKEG CEVQTU FQ PQV VJGP FKHHGTGPV XQKEG QXGT CEVQTU YKNN DG GORNQ[GF HQT VJKU VCUM 5RQQPU KU XGT[ XGT[ KPXGPVKXG CPF KPPQXCVKXG 6JKU HCEV YKNN DG GXKFGPV VJTQWIJQWV VJG GPVKTG UGTKGU GURGEKCNN[ KP VJG HNCUJDCEMU 9JGP 5RQQPU VYKP DTQVJGT 9KNNKG CMC $KI 5KNN[ 5V[NG YCMGU WR EQORNGVGN[ FGCH QPG 5CVWTFC[ OQTPKPI KV ECWUGF VJG HCOKN[ C ITGCV FGCN QH UVTGUU 6Q EQRG YKVJ VJKU UVTGUU JKOUGNH 5RQQPU ETGCVGF C HGY FGXKEGU YKVJ VJG KPVGPVKQPU QH OCMKPI NKHG GCUKGT HQT JKU VTQWDNGF HCOKN[ OGODGTU
+PXGPVKQP QPG KU CP GNGEVTQPKE DQCTF HQT $KI 5KNN[ VQ VTCPUETKDG JKU VJQWIJVU CPF OGUUCIGU QP 1PEG VJG YQTFU CTG V[RGF KP VJG[ CTG RTQEGUUGF KP C XGT[ TGCN JWOCP UQWPFKPI XQKEG YJKEJ XQECNK\GU VJQUG UCOG YQTFU 5Q VJGTGHQTG 9KNNKG KU KP TGCNKV[ FGCH DWV JKU DTQVJGT U PGY KPXGPVKQP YQTMU CTQWPF UWEJ C FKUCDKNKV[ 5RQQPU CNUQ ETGCVGF CPQVJGT DQCTF UQ RGQRNG YJQ 9KNNKG KU KP EQPXGTUCVKQP YKVJ ECP YTKVG FQYP VJGKT VJQWIJVU HQT 9KNN VQ TGCF UKPEG JG ECP PQV JGCT
6JG HWPPKGUV VJKPI KU 5RQQPU KU CNUQ CP CURKTKPI OCTMGVGT CPF RTQFWEV RTQOQVGT *G WUGU VJKU KPGRV VCNGPV VQ CEVWCNN[ NKEGPUG VJG TKIJVU VQ JKU G
DQCTF UQHVYCTG VQ UGRCTCVG EQORCPKGU YQTNFYKFG 6JKU FTCOCVKECNN[ CPF CNOQUV KOOGFKCVGN[ KPETGCUGU JKU RGTUQPCN ITQUU TGXGPWG VQ CP QWVUVCPFKPI
/KNNKQP RGT [GCT *KU RGTUQPCN PGV YQTVJ YKNN TGCEJ CP WPJGCTF QH $KNNKQP D[ JKU VJ DKTVJFC[
6JG GPVKTG UGTKGU CU YGNN CU 5RQQP U NKHG YKNN DG CDPQTOCNN[ GXGPVHWN FWG VQ JKU PGYHQWPF YGCNVJ CPF VJG HCOG OGFKC CVVGPVKQP UVGOOKPI HTQO KV KOOGFKCVGN[ 6JG UJQYU YKNN EQPUVCPVN[ HNCUJDCEM VQ DGHQTG 5RQQP YCU C OWNVKOKNNKQPCKTG UGXGTCN VKOGU QXGT DGHQTG JKU DTQVJGT 9KNN YGPV FGCH CPF DGHQTG VJGKT FTGCOU RJ[UKECNN[ OCVGTKCNK\GF 6JG XKGYGTU YKNN JCXG VJG RTKXKNGIG QH GZRGTKGPEKPI VJG RCKP DGHQTG CPF VJG LQ[ CHVGT VJGUG EQOKECN CPF VTCIKE GXGPVU KP VJGKT NKXGU
#U C [QWPI EJKNF VJG DGPGHKVU QH VJG GPVTGRTGPGWTKCN OKPFUGV YGTG GHHGEVKXGN[ KPUVKNNGF KP VJG OKPFU QH DQVJ VYKPU 5RQQP U G DQCTF UQHVYCTG EQORNGVGN[
EJCPIGF VJG YC[ FGCH RGQRNG YGTG XKGYGF D[ UQEKGV[ CPF JQY VJG[ VJGOUGNXGU
XKGYGF UQEKGV[ DCEM +V HQTGXGT CNVGTGF VJG YC[ VJG JGCTKPI KORCKTGF TGNCVGF VQ UQEKGV[ KPVGTCEVGF YKVJ UQEKGV[ CPF JQY VJG[ CFXCPEGF KPUKFG VJKU UCOG UQEKGV[ #HVGT VJKU RGTKQF KP JKU NKHG 5RQQPU PGXGT CICKP JCF VTQWDNGU CVVCKPKPI C FCVG GXGP VJQWIJ JG KU QPN[ C RTG VGGP #VVCKPKPI CP JQPGUV FCVG
59 YJQ OCKPVCKPGF VTWUVYQTVJKPGUU YCU VJG EJCNNGPIKPI RCTV FWG VQ JKU JKIJ UVCVWU NGXGN KP OQFGTP UQEKGV[
1PEG JG YGPV DNKPF 5RGPEGT U KOCIKPCVKQP GXQNXGF CU C RCTV QH PGEGUUKV[ *KU KOCIKPCVKQP CNYC[U UWTRCUUGF VJQUG CTQWPF JKO DWV JKU DNKPFPGUU CNNQYGF JKU KOCIKPCVKQP VQ TGCEJ KORQUUKDNG PGY JGKIJVU
9KNN 2WUJ CYP FTKXKP *G KU 5RGPEGT U VYKP DTQVJGT #V CIG 9KNN DGECOG VJG XKEVKO QH GZVTGOGN[ NQWF OWUKE CPF VGNGXKUKQP XQNWOG NGXGNU 6JKU QXGT KPFWNIGPEG NGF JKU JGCTKPI VQ CP GCTN[ ITCXG 9KVJ GXGT[ CFXGTUKV[ EQOGU CP QRRQTVWPKV[ JKFFGP KPUKFG QH KV 9KNN QPN[ JCF VQ GPFWTG [TU FGCH DGHQTG JKU HCOKN[ YCU YQTVJ /KNNKQP DGECWUG QH JKU DTQVJGT U KPXGPVKQP +V YCU 5RGPEGT U G DQCTF UQHVYCTG GPCDNKPI VJGO VQ C DGVVGT NKHGUV[NG DWV 5RGPEGT U OQVKXCVKQP HQT KPXGPVKPI VJG UQHVYCTG YCU UKORN[ 9KNN U EWTTGPV EQPFKVKQP (QT VJCV TGCUQP CNQPG 5RGPEGT URNKVU JKU TGXGPWG YKVJ 9KNN
9KNN KU VJG [QWPIGUV QH VJG VYKPU DWV VJG[ UVKNN QRGTCVG CU C YQPFGTHWN VGCO 6JG[ YGTG DQVJ VCWIJV GCTN[ CDQWV GPVTGRTGPGWTUJKR OCTMGVKPI CPF RTQOQVKQP UCXX[ YQTNFYKFG RQNKVKEU CPF DWUKPGUU VGEJPKSWGU GVKSWGVVG CPF JQY VQ TGCF CPF GNGXCVG UQEKCN UKVWCVKQPU 6JG[ YQWNF CNYC[U DG UGGP TGCFKPI VQIGVJGT DGHQTG VJGKT TGURGEVKXG KPEKFGPVU
#HVGT their KPEKFGPVU JQYGXGT VJG DTQVJGTU QPN[ DGECOG ENQUGT 5KPEG 9KNN YGPV FGCH CV CIG CPF 5RGPEGT FKFP V IQ DNKPF WPVKN JKU VJ DKTVJFC[ 5RGPEGT JCF OQTG VJCP GPQWIJ VKOG VQ GHHGEVKXGN[ NGCTP UKIP NCPIWCIG 6JKU KU IQKPI VQ CFF OWEJ WPUGGP GNGOGPVU VQ VJKU CPKOCVGF UGTKGU 6JKU UKIP NCPIWCIG RKGEG YKNN CNNQY C ITGCV UGPUG QH JWOQT VQ DG KPUGTVGF KPVQ VJG UJQY U HQTGHTQPV
$QVJ 9KNN CPF 5RGPEGT YGTG TCKUGF QP C JGCX[ FKGV QH TGCFKPI JGNRHWN RWDNKECVKQPU CPF NKUVGPKPI VQ RQRWNCT CWFKQ DQQM RTQITCOU 6JG[ YGTG CNYC[U VCWIJV VQ ECTG OQTG CDQWV GCEJ QVJGT CPF CFXCPEKPI VJGKT RGTURGEVKXGU VJCP CP[VJKPI GNUG 1PEG 5RGPEGT YGPV DNKPF KV YCU CNOQUV KORQUUKDNG HQT JKO VQ TGCF C TGIWNCT DQQM *G EQWNF JQYGXGT NKUVGP VQ CWFKQ DQQMU UQOGVJKPI JKU DTQVJGT ECP V FQ 5Q VJG[ GZGEWVGF CP GCU[ FGCN 9KNN EQPXGTVU VJG DQQMU 5RGPEGT YCPVU VQ NKUVGP VQ KPVQ CWFKQ DQQM HQTOCV WUKPI JKU G DQCTF UQHVYCTG +P TGVWTP 5RGPEGT URTWEGU WR JKU UKIP NCPIWCIG D[ TGNC[KPI YJCV JG JGCTU HTQO VJG CWFKQ DQQMU VQ 9KNN 5Q 9KNN ECP TGCF YJCVGXGT JG YCPVU CPF 5RGPEGT ECP NKUVGP VQ YJCVGXGT JG YCPVU DWV VJG[ DQVJ ECP PQV FQ DQVJ [GV
The Show’s Narrators
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Candice Harley Quarli aka Chizzy- Chizzy is simply that Nigga. He is the most popular character on the show. He is the 15yr old mentor of the twin Push-awn-drivin boys. He is a supermarket clerk who deeply aspires to be a “professional lucid dreaming spokesperson”. All shows revolving around Chizzy will be narrated by him. He won’t narrate every show “because he’s busy” but his replacements will always do the show justice. Chizzy worked extremely hard to achieve everything he currently has. He has the most positive attitude out of every other character on the show; which in itself is an amazing feat because the show revolves all around life’s positive aspects. The show will observe him grow from a 15 yr old worker into a 25 yr old A-list movie star. Chizzy will always be seen with a Polaroid camera dangling from his neck and a camcorder tripod diagonally placed across his back like it was a samurai sword. One of his trademarks is placing his fingers like a camera’s frame and reciting director’s remarks: Action, resume positions, that’s a location wrap, cut, again, as you were, now this time try it like this and etc. Chizzy is romantically involved with Ashleigh Saturday in a heavy and exclusive relationship. Ashleigh, because of this fact alone, is the show’s other main narrator.
Ashleigh Saturday- Ashleigh Saturday is “a 16 yr old female phenomenon” according to Chizzy and his “sources”. Chizzy feels this way because he is healthily obsessed with the concept of lucid dreaming. What attracts him to “Ash Sash” is her in depth knowledge base of certain topics Chizzy knows nothing about. On the first day they had an official date together at a local café, Ashleigh secretly brought along her “lucid dreaming case study suitcase”. This suit case contained industry specialist interviews done by reputable journalists, her dream boards: visual representations of her goals and spiritual ambitions, and many dream journals: chronological lists of her nightly dreams. Needless to say, this list causes Candice’s mouth to drop wide open. “This was the moment I knew I would never let us break up once we became an item. I mean, with a personality and knowledge base like she has, how could I be so stupid as to let her leave my life?” On their first date, before she pulled out the briefcase, they were sitting across from each other. After she intrigued him with the briefcase’s contents however; Ashleigh decided to request Chizzy sit next to her. He loved her ability to determine his true feelings and her boldness after she knew his feelings. She patted her left hand on the empty seat space next to her and requested “sit next to me please.”
Ashleigh’s perspective on life is very similar to Chizzy. Her father left her family 2yrs before she met Chizzy and Candice is the only person who immerses her in enough joy to cease the pain. The show will display segments of her crying out in pain due to her “lack of a father”. Then the scenes will always shift to her looking up and laughing from all the good memories she
61
and Chizzy share. The two main narrators (Ashleigh and Chizzy) will be seen throughout the show sitting in the “director’s chair. They let the viewers in on background information they wouldn’t know otherwise. They give their unique perspectives on the situations the other characters find themselves in. A comical recurrence will show one or both of them leaving the “narrator’s set” to “clock in to work”. Season 1 Idol-LessonS
Episode 1- Meet the Chizzy
Author’s note: When the characters are engaging the viewing audience in long, drawn out monologues of any kind, the artists are urged to visually illustrate what the characters are speaking on. This is done to create a very clear, concise and compelling image of what our characters are focusing on. This is an experimental way to see just how interesting one person talking can really be.
EVENING TIME INT.CHIZZY’S BASEMENT
CANDICE HARLI QUARLI is setting up two of his newly purchased video cameras. The cameras are recording but the stabilizing tripods are not yet set up, thus a shaky focus. The cameras are now prepared and Candice takes his seat in his “director’s chair”. He begins to introduce himself
CANDICE AKA CHIZZY
Good evening world! The government name is Candice Harley Quarli and the closest pals I have acquired call Me Chizzy. Now Chizzy is a cool, calm and collected Capricorn, born on December 29th, 1993 in Miami Florida. I was born inside of Jackson Memorial hospital which is located on the same road as Miami Metro Zoo. Miami Metro Zoo is important to me because I was involved in the Zoo Magnet program at Richmond Heights Middle school. It was a great experience for a Chizzy so young and I made many memorable friends. The most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed on the school bus on the way to the Zoo was my best friend losing her virginity to another close friend Zed. Tragic is what it was; I was the freaking lookout on the many occasions they had casual sex AT THE ZOO. How do you have sex at the zoo? It just doesn’t make any sense to Me. Oh yea, I know; it’s because you have two stinking lookouts, I should’ve left them and just watched the tigers.
Candice then looks up lovingly at his roof mural and whispers very girl like
CANDICE
I love tigers...especially the white Bengal ones.
(The words “love” and “ones” are dramatically dragged on and out.)
CANDICE
62 I actually remember one time; the 8th grade class took a paid field trip to Epcot in Orlando, Florida. The two “zoo love-birds” opted not to attend, but I did; lucky Chizzy. Since I was a bit of a “class clown”
Chizzy performs the “quotations symbol” with his finger to properly emphasize his image as a “class clown”
CANDICE
I was hand chosen by the teacher slash chaperone Mr. Lopez to sit at the front of the bus with the other adults. Luckily for me I had a CD player, rechargeable batteries plus the charger, and a plastic zip-lock bag containing 10 different music albums suiting my taste. So needless to say, I was in heaven for the entire trip. The bathroom on the other hand was located at the very end of the bus and I only had to use it twice roundtrip. I’m telling you that story to better illustrate this next one stationed back at the Zoo. Zed’s adventures with his freaky new girlfriend took a sour turn for the worst while I was vacationing. Once we arrived back in Miami and school resumed, we learned Zed and his chick had gotten caught having pre- marital relations. I remember Mr. Lopez saying something to me about it. Maybe he knew I had some inside information on it, which I did. He also knew for a fact I was at the front of the bus when this was going on. Now how bad could I really be then?
Candice’s older cousin DAVE walks down the stairs and maintains his new position on the last step. He then proceeds to initiate conversation with younger CANDICE.
DAVE
How was work my fellow man?
CANDICE
Man, stop acting like you don’t know. Every day is wonderful as what?
CANDICE looks at DAVE expectantly...places his left hand in a cup fashion over his left ear and awaits an answer. DAVE answers with much more enthusiasm radiating throughout his entire body than CANDICE expected.
DAVE
AS ALWAYS!!!
CANDICE
As what? I forgot to hear you
DAVE
submitted by FitInvestigator5945 to DXYRSISPOT [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 17:32 FitInvestigator5945 NAPOLI FILM

They all enter a shady looking facility. NAPOLI questions CHESTER on the cement and CHESTER shows the containers to NAPOLI. NAPOLI rubs his gloved hands together and responds with “excellent!!!” NAPOLI walks over to the corner and arrives back with 2 heavy buckets of wet cement. 2 empty metal trash cans sit in the room’s center and CHESTER wheels the caskets over to them.
CHESTER and SEBASTIAN open the 1st casket and share the weight of hanging his upper body over the trash can while his legs flop on the inside of the can. NAPOLI then pours as much
37
cement as needed to cover their bodies’ hip down. NAPOLI looks up at the ceiling, makes an animated face as the camera moves down to see him pull out his silenced pink pistol. NAPOLI shoots the officer in the head. NAPOLI shouts out “Bingo!!!”
NAPOLI asks to leave the vicinity and come back once this cement is concrete. “Then we begin principal photography.” This refers to the scene where the 10 cops get dumped into a NYC River. We cut back to SPENCER and TEL AVIV’s law conversation. TEL AVIV continues writing down these detailed notes.
SPENCER
Part II of preservation of evidence AVIV; evidence seeming to be favorable to a suspect and the suspect would be unable to replace should not be destroyed by law enforcement officers. Next chapter, last one actually: entrapment; a person “entrapped” into committing a crime is immune from prosecution for that crime. Entrapment occurs when law officers or their agents implant in an innocent man’s mind the disposition to commit a crime and then induce him to commit the crime so they can prosecute him. Merely giving a person who is already predisposed to commit a crime the opportunity to do so is not entrapment.
Well that is all for today Ms. TEL AVIV. I hope your thirst for criminal law knowledge and police procedures are temporarily satisfied.
TEL AVIV
Oh yes, I am so ready to build a case study around this information. I’ll email it to you once it’s entirely completed. Ok?
SPENCER
Sounds grand! Have a great remainder of the afternoon.
TEL AVIV stands up and exits the building.
We cut to NAPOLI and TEL AVIV walking out of a restaurant months before she returned to Sweden. As they pass a nearby river they notice a white girl fall into the river. NAPOLI selflessly jumps into the river and rescues the child along with help from her father. News crews begin to arrive on the scene. NAPOLI refuses to comment and he and TEL AVIV catch a ride back to her apartment.
We cut to a recap of every single police officer who was murdered or at least injured throughout the film. The montage will be accompanied by Lupe Fiasco’s “Little Weapon” from his “The Cool” album. We cut to different scenes of all the minor characters in the film, (SAM, CHARLIE, JAFAR, SASHA, CARTER and a few others) watching the news. The news anchors discuss the
38 recent events where over 100 hundred police officers were murdered over the last week. All the characters display their individual concerns. The news then reports supposedly a terrorist has sent in a videotape possibly containing unreachable demands. NAPOLI’s 1st video begins to play on the television screens. We hear “ladies and gentlemen, salutations.” And we
FADE TO BLACK
o 1. There was a conversation I was having with a friend a yr ago and he brought this observation to my attention. “If a domesticated housecat were the same size as the bigger cats, they wouldn’t be housecats anymore basically.” I like that idea, just have to figure out how to explain it, soon enough. Any ideas? There is a chance I can include this story with the shark one, not sure yet. If I do I haven’t decided if the cats will help the people from the sharks or assist the sharks, maybe both. To the cats the sharks can be tuna out the can. “No Ceilings Got dammit now the frikkin sky showing UGH!!!”
&GCT /T 6WPG
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6JG VTWVJ KU + UGG O[UGNH DGKPI VJG %'1 CPF QT 24'5+&'06 QH KV KP PQ VKOG + CO YKNNKPI JQYGXGT VQ YQTM O[ YC[ WR + YQWNF CEVWCNN[ RTGHGT KV VJKU YC[ 0QV VQQ OCP[ RGQRNG GZEGRV O[ /QVJGT (CVJGT CPF [QW CEVWCNN[ MPQY QH VJKU RNQV CPF KV KU OWEJ DGVVGT VJCV YC[ # PGICVKXG RGTUQP U RGTEGRVKQP CPF QDUGTXCVKQP QH [QWT FTGCOU ECP UQOGVKOGU DG CP CUUCUUKP U DWNNGV /[ RCUUKQP KU TGCFKPI YTKVKPI CPF URGCMKPI + JCXG DGGP YTKVKPI QTKIKPCN RQGOU HQT HCOKN[ OGODGTU UKPEG + YCU
'XGT UKPEG + MPGY [QW YGTG QHHKEKCNN[ KPECTEGTCVGF + UCY KV CU CP QRRQTVWPKV[ ;QW CTG UWEJ C OQDKNG CPF IQCN QTKGPVGF RGTUQP + TGCNN[ PGXGT UCY [QW CEVWCNN[ QRGPKPI WR C RCEMCIG EQPVCKPKPI O[ DQQM 9JCV U VJG RWTRQUG QH VJKU RWDNKECVKQP! 6JG RWTRQUG KU VQ EQPXG[ VQ [QW NKN 9C[PG JQY XCNWCDNG + DGNKGXG + CO TGICTFKPI ;170) /10'; (+./ U GVGTPCN UWEEGUU 6JG VTWVJ KU [QW
39 FQ PQV PGGF OG [QW CTG RTGVV[ YGNN QHH TKIJV PQY DWV + PGXGTVJGNGUU DGNKGXG KP O[ CDKNKV[ VQ DGEQOG VJG ITGCVGUV HKNOOCMGT CPF UETGGPYTKVGT KP JKUVQT[ $GVVGT VJCP 5EQTUGUG 5EQTUGUG YJQ! 3WKPVKP 6CTCP YJCV PQY! ,QJP 5KPINGVQP! 5RKMG .GG! 5[NXGUVGT 5VCNNQPG! #NHTGF *KVEJEQEM! (QTIGV CDQWV KV FTCI QWV VJKU UGPVGPEG RNGCUG
0Q FKUTGURGEV VQ VJG ITGCVU DWV O[ KOCIKPCVKXG HCEWNVKGU CTG DCT PQPG + HGGN YKVJ VJG TKIJV COQWPV QH GZRGTKGPEG + ECP DG C UGTKQWU VJTGCV C TGCN UGTKQWU VJTGCV + HGGN + YKNN JCXG C DKIIGT DKFFKPI YCT VJCP /T &TK\\[ 5JKV OC[DG + YQP V DWV + YKNN DG GZVTCQTFKPCTKN[ YGNN VKOGF 1P [QWT -CVKG %QWTKE KPVGTXKGY DGHQTG VJG )TCOOKGU C HGY [GCTU DCEM [QW OGPVKQPGF YCPVKPI VQ UVGR KP HTQPV QH VJG ECOGTC C NKMMNG OQTG NKMMNG 9C[PG
+ HGGN QPEG + DTGCM KPVQ VJG *QNN[YQQF U[UVGO + YKNN DG C JKIJN[ UQWIJV CHVGT HKNOOCMGT FKTGEVQT YTKVGT CEVQT RTQFWEGT DCUKECNN[ C UNCUJ 7PKXGTUCN /)/ #VNCPVKE %QNWODKC CP[ CPF GXGT[QPG YKVJ RQNKVKECN RQYGT KP VJG OCLQT HKNO RTQFWEVKQP UVWFKQU YKNN DG VTGCVKPI OG DGVVGT VJCP 2QUV 5VCT 9CTU )GQTIG .WECU CPF 2QUV ,CYU CPF ,WTCUUKE 2CTM 5VGXGP 5RKGNDGTI + CNUQ HGGN JKR JQR KU C DKIIGT RCTV QH O[ RGTUQPCN EWNVWTG CPF NKHG CPF YKVJ VJCV UCKF + YQWNF RTGHGT VQ GPVGT *QNN[YQQF VJTW ;170) /10'; (+./5
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
#U + NQQM CV VJQUG RKEVWTGU + KOCIKPG LWUV JQY YQPFGTHWN KV CEVWCNN[ HGGNU VQ DG ;QWPI /QPG[ (+./5 + QDUGTXGF &TCMG U TKUG VQ UWRTGOCE[ HKTUV JCPF CU C HCP + TGOGODGT HKTUV NKUVGPKPI
40
VQ %QOGDCEM 5GCUQP TGRNCEGOGPV IKTN ENQUGT IKXG [C CPF VJGP VJQUG HCOQWU UQPIU KPENWFKPI NKMMNG 9C[PG
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  1. The working title of this movie is “Ah Hell Naw!” it’s a reactionary title due to the synopsis. It is intended to be a horror-comedy but the scarier We can get it the better. There have been so many horror movies made over the decades it’s challenging to bring an original concept to the table. And here it is courtesy of YOUNG MONEY FILMS: I was walking around in my old job many months ago and I was carrying a notebook to log down ideas in like I always do. It got me thinking, the scariest thing to me personally as a creative artist, would be if something was hell bent on stealing my ideas. Like Wayne just imagine, some devilish creature ACTUALLY stealing your rhymes before you can record them and completely wiping your memory of it. It never fails, you think it, and they snatch, just leaving you blinking. A
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creature whose purpose was to steal your drive, your passions, your hobbies, is basically stealing your life force. They just leave you lethargic. To some people, this is worse than death. I’m combining this idea with one just recently being sent to me from OUR GOD. I want these same creatures to attack you while you’re performing productive activities. You’re taking a shower and they’re after you. They catch you making up your bed, you’re toast. Washing the dishes? Oh hell Naw, you’re dead motherfrikking meat then! Washing the car, same thing. One of their catchphrases while attacking you will be “Yebba de dep”. I haven’t figured out if everyone attacked will die because the point is to let them live meaningless existences. It’s going to end up being extremely funny. I did figure out the human being responsible for these creatures spread thru suburbia and he’ll lose his life by the creature’s hands as well. I want these creatures to have EXTREME SWAG! The working taglines are “Lethargy anyone?” and “Where only the lazy survive!” the overruling theme throughout will be CHORES DO NOT KILL anyone, so do them. People don’t get attacked while taking showers and washing the dishes, most times. My older brother and I argue about the dishes because he’s 28 and he just expects me to clean all the dishes when he only cooks for himself. And thus this movie was born. I hope you see potential because I do, I’m currently asking GOD for inspiration for their physical appearance, demeanor and disposition. The other theme will be balance between ambition and lethargy because even the lazy will be attacked, just for the hell of it. Now you probably understand why it’s titled “Aw Hell Naw!” 2. Steven Spielberg scared the crap out of the world when he created
“Jaws”. The next YOUNG MONEY FILMS commercial hit is this: over the last million years, the oceans began drying up and sharks began evolving to live on land. They operate like big cats do basically. Where “Jaws” made it unsafe for people to swim, this makes it unsafe for people to be outside period. That’s what makes it so scary, in “Jaws” you had to swim to be a victim, here it is so different. Its not realistic but once immersed in the story, you are so happy it may never happen. And if Sharks do in fact evolve to live on land, we called it 1st with GOD’s help. I want these sharks to pounce like tigers, lions and panthers. I even want them to evolve to the point where they have wings. It will be a fantasy and all the explanations come from evolution, not genetic mutation, that’s outdated. Where the Jaws poster had the shark swallowing a person from the bottom, our film
42
will have the Great white shark swallowing the person from the top; he’s flying down. I see so much potential in this film particularly. 3. There was a conversation I was having with a friend a yr ago and he brought this observation to my attention. “If a domesticated housecat were the same size as the bigger cats, they wouldn’t be housecats anymore basically.” I like that idea, just have to figure out how to explain it, soon enough. Any ideas? There is a chance I can include this story with the shark one, not sure yet. If I do I haven’t decided if the cats will help the people from the sharks or what, maybe both. To the cats the sharks can be tuna out the can. “No Ceilings Got dammit now the frikkin sky showing!!!”
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The following are Short Film treatments
Treatment# 1:
“You know what would be good for You? Creating Commercials!
A group of guys dressed in all yellow rainbow colors or tie dye continually robbing people on camera The victims never truly see it coming because they are immersed into their reading The victims will be walking down the street reading their books oblivious to the crimes being planned and plotted against them
These groups of armed burglars and shop lifters specialize in one thing stealing innocent people s books These crooks love to read and apply the knowledge they learned (The camera will catch them robbing small book stores of their entire inventory) They will then photo read the books and re sell them on Amazon thus creating a huge fan base and income window
They beat the stuffing out of the kids they catch reading in public humiliating them purposely (Once funding gets better We can show different sets of these groups all over the state, country and world). They can be seen emptying out their duffle bags full of stolen books and book lights on
43 their hide out tables They will be as excited as a group of bank robbers who pulled off 1000 successful heists while invisible
The moral of the short film will be promoting reading because it is not nearly as dangerous as the short film suggests. The film actors will mock the average viewer’s inability to choose reading as an active pastime by looking directly into the camera’s eye and screaming out “And We better not catch You slipping up either...”
The Screenplay
EXT. On the main road –DAY
Jimmy Jam Shot is walking down His neighborhood’s main road reading His newest book. Two other shady characters, REOUS and SEBASTIAN, are plotting to escape with Jimmy’s books.
JIMMY JAM SHOT
...the best way to gain an attractive status with Women is to improve You constantly. Women love what they can not have and nothing is more attractive than a busy and successful male figure. If ladies see You constantly around town filming movies...they are going to be crawling ALL OVER YOU.
REOUS decides this is the perfect time to pull off the information abduction. He pulls out the unseen part of His baseball bat and prepares to “crack an effendi skull.”
REOUS
Right...now
REOUS and SEBASTIAN begin to pace quickly towards JIMMY JAM SHOT. JIMMY is so into His book He doesn’t see the pre-planned ambush in pre-production.
JIMMY JAM SHOT
44
What in the ---?
At this point in time, REOUS and SEBASTIAN initiate the beat down on JIMMY. JIMMY is totally unaware of the imminent danger He is in when it starts. The first strike is a blow to His neck and head area with a wooden baseball bat. REOUS hits JIMMY first and SEBASTIAN follows up with a thoroughly placed hit to the knee cap. By this time JIMMY is on the ground screaming in agony’s pain. (These scenes will all feature the freeze frame. Right before the bat connects with His different body parts, the camera will just freeze the current frame. The viewers will assume JIMMY was effectively hit by each blow because His body will keep assuming the new injured positions.)
JIMMY JAM SHOT
Please... just take it...I don’t want it anymore, DAMN!
Also, JIMMY is giving up His books, His most valuable assets at this point in time. He tosses the books further away from His body to avoid further physical damage. REOUS and SEBASTIAN begin to run off with a bag full of books courtesy of JIMMY JAM JAM. JIMMY tries to regain His physical composure but is heavily unable to do so.
INT. REOUS’ hideout spot –NIGHT
REOUS and SEBASTIAN are so excited to witness the sun set on another successful mission. They receive extreme thrills from robbing people only for their books and reading materials. SEBASTIAN empties out all the contents of the first bag. They have collected three bags full of books today. SEBASTIAN
Now I know this wasn’t the most successful day We’ve had in recent months...but Woo Gee Jolly Christopher, We are effectively in business.
REOUS and SEBASTIAN are researching how much the books they have “collected” are worth online. They are consulting Amazon’s website, entering the ISBN numbers from the book’s back covers.
REOUS
How to be a better macaroni!—worth $12.00 Used.
10 better tips to employ in Your employment search--$5.00 Used
The 100 most successful seducers of all time--$7.77 Used
Make More Money by Speaking--$11.00 Used
45
How to run an effective farmer’s market grocery chain--$22.00 Used
SEBASTIAN
Bingo! That is $57.77 U.S. currency My good man. Look’s like We can just stop here. No need for greediness My man. So You know the protocol way before We even THINK about selling one book online
They both respond in harmonious unison
SEBASTIAN and REOUS at the same time
PHOTOREADING!!!
INT. SEBASTIAN’s private study room --DAY
The scene now switches to just SEBASTIAN sitting in His “private study” located inside His hideout. He is sitting formally, with His right ankle on top of His left knee while reading. He looks up towards the camera and addresses the viewers. He begins to briefly break down the most important steps to the Photo-reading process.
He has one of His archive’s books in His hand for the presentation
SEBASTIAN
First step is to tell Yourself what the purpose of reading the publication is in the first place. The 2nd step is to spend no more than 3 seconds on each page. This should take You about 10 minutes tops, maybe 30 minutes. This is labeled the previewing process. What previewing does is conditions Your mind to the format of the book. After previewing, You are aware of all the sub-chapters, the charts, graphs, boxed in sections, author’s notes and any other surprises. Previewing is similar to coming to grips with all the food located on Your dinner plate. It is easy to become confused in the 1st 20 pages of a 320pg novel.
The 3rd step is the actual photo-reading process. This is where You stare at the middle of the page. Your peripheral vision should be able to absorb both pages at thee same time at this point. This process stores all the pages into Your subconscious mind. This is a time consuming process and from experience, I recommend keeping a list of the exact phase You are in with each particular book. The more books You engage, the easier it is to forget where You are in certain books. It is not the most encouraging feeling.
Now tis is the funniest part; The incubation section. Incubation is when You let each book relax in Your mind for at least 24 hours or overnight. This is where
46 metaphysics comes into play because You have all the information in Your brain; You just are not aware You are using it. Here, awareness is important though. Put the book up until You wake up now.
Once the book is effectively incubated, rapid reading is the next step. Rapid Reading is when You read every word as quickly or as slowly as You desire. Throughout this entire process, You should feel déjà vu. It should seem as if You have read through this information before; because in essence, You really have. This is where the majority of laughs will take place. Before You can get to the rapid reading section, You must first let the material incubate itself inside Your mind. This is where the most evident benefit stemming from photo-reading is visible. While the first book is incubating, You are encouraged to preview and photo-reading at least two other books. Attempt to photo-read two books per night, and in 2 to 3yrs tops; You will be an expert in at least one field You find interesting. Now what’s better than that home-skillet?
Treatment #2: Accepting Everything Perceivable...4 Her Sake
6JKU UJQTV YKNN RGTKQFKECNN[ VTCPUKVKQP KP CPF QWV QH VJG RTGUGPV OQOGPV 6JG EJCTCEVGT %JCF : YKNN NGV VJG XKGYGTU KP QP VJG EWTTGPV UVCVWU QH *KU HTKGPFUJKR YKVJ C EQOOQP NCF[ 6JKU EQOOQP NCF[ KU GZVTGOGN[ CPIT[ CV *GTUGNH CPF %JCF %JCF YKNN CRRTQCEJ *GT KP RWDNKE CPF UVCTV UOCNN EQPXGTUCVKQP QT
CVVGORV VQ 6JKU %QOOQP .CF[ % . YKNN WPFGTOKPG *KU CVVGORVU VQ TG HTKGPF *GT D[ WVKNK\KPI UJQTV UYGGV QT JKIJN[ PGWVTCN CPUYGTU Now the scene transitions into an area where Chad is sitting down looking directly into the camera eye. He will look incredibly frustrated due to the stressing aspects of the “current situation”. He will verbally inform the viewer of just how aggravated He is at C.L.’s responses. He finishes by saying: “You know what viewer? I won’t stress it...Not at all. I’m just going to keep a cool demeanor and initiate another conversation with a female; right in front of C.L. From C.L. to C.L.” The scene switches back to “the present moment” where C.L. is ignoring Chad.
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47 (TCOG KU KORNGOGPVGF YJKNG %JCF UMKRU KPVQ VJG CKT HQTGXGT 6JG HTGG\G HTCOG VCMGU RNCEG TKIJV CU %JCF GZKVU VJG DWKNFKPI KP VTKWORJ
Treatment #3- Being More Responsible and Responsive
(This short will start with Chad sitting in a deli speaking to a former co worker They are discussing life at the present moment and the mistakes Chad made in the past resulting in Him getting fired Chad let s Sissy know He is really broken up over the consequences His actions held in store for Him ) Sissy tells Chad at this point He didn t do anything wrong just because He admitted everything He did wrong She tells Chad; now the issue is the other girl involved is the one lying Chad understands how other people ARE involved in the situation but He doesn t forget HIS ACTIONS got Him fired It is just so easy for Me to blame any one else for what happened to Me But the fact remains; I did this to Myself This short will mainly just focus on the conversation between the two companions The visual effects are still undecided Chad lets Sissy know; the only way He is going to get C L back into His life is to become the most Successful person anyone has ever observed The irony is once I am this successful My options will be damn near unlimited Sissy laughs uncontrollably for 30 seconds and then recites Mike Jones Back then they didn t want Me now I m hot they re all on Me Now the scene can switch to Chad sitting down in a chair talking to the camera. He could be explaining how being more responsive helped Him earn Sissy’s respect. “It’s not about earning Her respect. It’s more about following through with Your spiritual principles all the time. And that earns people’s respect all the time.”
Treatment #4- Work On Yourself instead of Women
submitted by FitInvestigator5945 to DXYRSISPOT [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 17:01 In_Yellow_Clad If At First You Don't Succeed -- Part 61 (Redo)

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A/N: So, I think I'm happy with this chapter now, and as such I'll start posting this story again. It's gonna be slow though, probably going to limit myself to one chapter a week just for my sanity and also for quality. I do actually have a vague plan for this arc of the story, hence why this will be slower posting from here on as I figure everything out. Also the events in this chapter are still quick and fast hitting, and that's on purpose. It's meant to keep the characters from actually taking the time to figure everything out and keep the bad things from happening. Saying that, they'll have more room to breathe during the rest of this arc till the very end of it. Also, I'll try my best to not 'needlessly torture' dear Safa, but there will still be moments of severe and extreme despair in her future, it's unavoidable, even if you and I wish it were so.
So, without further ado, please enjoy the return of Safa and her adventures. I promise that after this arc we'll get back to more simple quests that don't involve saving the world.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
The royal family stood, paralyzed by magic as the Hierophants chanted. I could see fear in the eyes of Sarum’s children and wife, and righteous anger and hatred in the Emperor’s eyes. The chanting was rising in volume as the ritual progressed, dark magics swirling around the group. Sarum spotted us, his eyes widening first in surprise, then hope as he glanced at his family, a silent plea to save them first over his own life. A plea we would answer.
“FOR THE EMPIRE!” I yell, and we charge into the fray. The other participants, the witnesses of this ritual turn on us, brandishing their weapons. There were plenty of guards mixed in with the robed ones, and we entered a clash. I used every tool I had at my disposal, all of my powers, my weapons, everything, even my venom. Web was shot and would hold a foe in place long enough for me to deal with another, before I whirled around and slid the blade of my glaive into them. Venom pulsed through the veins of many and I would catch sight of Sae hopping around, just out of range, a flurry of arrows leaving him from a seemingly bottomless quiver.
Shards of moonlight zipped around, blowing great chunks out of armor and flesh wherever they impacted. I was just bringing my blade down on another guard when a sword slid between it and them, blocking my strike. My attention shifted instantly, and there was that man, that adventurer.
“Whatever you’re trying to do, we’ll stop you!” He snarled, but I could see the conflict in his eyes, and the slight waver in his voice. There was no time for discussion, I simply kicked the guard in the chest and focused my full attention on him and his party. Allied guards entered the fray, and it became a proper tussle. But we were running out of time, the chanting was continuing, the Hierophant Guard stood fast and were far deadlier than their more common counterparts.
I was thankful for the perception skills I had, as each near fatal strike caused time to slow down, long enough for me to shift out of the way. I appeared from a shadow on a wall and took a quick survey of the battle taking place, and decided it was time to turn the tables in our favor. My eyes glowed violet, the dark, necromantic magic curled around my fingers as was about to be unleashed when I was suddenly forced to duck under a blast of magic, followed by several arrows from the adventurers lady friends.
I tried again, but was stopped once more, forcing me to give up on raising the dead for now and focus on at least incapacitating the companions. I tensed and leapt, which was surprising enough to the elven woman that she didn’t move out of the way in time. So I ended up knocking her to the ground and spraying her down with a thick coating of web. Then I turned towards the older looking magic user. Still fair of course, thanks to magic, but I could sense her age and experience even from here.
I scuttled forwards, keeping my upper body low and she twirled her staff, sending a wave of fire towards me. Amkhu surged forwards, taking the form of a wall between us and I diverted my course around him, letting him handle the witch. Which he did, handily, utilizing the tentacles that came with his natural form to bind her up and keep her stationary. He did seem like he was about to eat her, but a mental command to keep her alive was enough to make him not do that. My next target was a small woman, who looked far too much like a child for my liking but the slightly pointed ears on her head and the vague bluish tint to her skin suggested that was a totally normal thing perhaps for an adult of whatever she was. She held a staff of her own and she was chanting feverishly, a pleasant, warm glow around her that revitalized and healed her companions. This woman was guarded by a much taller one, an orc in heavy plate armor and carrying both a tower shield and a giant mace.
The orc spotted me barreling for her and raised her shield, slamming it into the floor as her other arm cocked back, preparing to strike. Moonshard glowed and a burst of crystalline shards zipped forwards, each shot hitting the exact same spot on her shield and blowing great chunks into the dense metal. She grunted in surprise, and I was on her, pedipalps grasping the top of the shield while my forelegs rose and then started to batter the woman with savage strikes. It forced her to try and guard against my attack rather than complete her own, and she was doing decently enough before a few arrows slid into the back of her knee. A cry sounded and she went down, the healer turning and looking on in shock before she registered that I was coming after her next. She was not much of a challenge, too shocked to put up a fight and she was removed from play as I swiped a leg out sideways and sent her flying. She landed with a somewhat satisfying thud and I had a moments reprieve now.
I took the time to see the state of the battle, it wasn’t going well, the Imperial guard couldn’t break through the last of the Hierophants guard, most of the spectators were now dead and it was just a bloody mess. I started towards the guards, intent on breaking through their lines myself when I felt a hint of not so distant pain from Amkhu and I turned my attention to him.
His tentacles had been singed and a slightly soggy witch had freed herself and decided to go after a different target. The world slowed down and instead of watching a magical bolt of death streak towards me, it went for the one thing I could not bear to lose.
Sae started to turn and I knew that the blow would be fatal. I couldn’t allow that, even if it meant that things turned bad for the world. Whatever this Shroud thing was it would have to wait. I melted into the shadows and reformed between Sae and the bolt, raising my arm and focusing as much of the magic I carried into forming something vaguely close to a shield.
It worked… sort of. Instead of the magical bolt spearing me through the chest, it simply detonated against my arm which had the unfortunate effect of removing said arm. But my fleshweaving came in handy and only some of my blood splattered onto the floor before the flesh closed up around the stump.
Thinking quickly, one of my forelegs snapped forwards, smacking the severed limb in mid air and sending it whirling away, smacking the older witch in the face as she cried out in surprised disgust. Amkhu came to the rescue and promptly swallowed the limb, before again entangling the witch.
– – – – – –
Cameron didn’t feel right about all of this, something was trying to control him, push him to kill this other hero and her companion, and one of his own had just tried to do that as well. He couldn’t think straight, everything felt slow and the more he tried to think about it or act against the compulsions, the stranger he felt.
He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he couldn’t let his friend kill Safa, nor could he allow Safa to kill her either. So instead he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other and closed the distance, and speaking proved to be quite difficult as well. Fiona shot him a look as he approached, eyes dancing with glee at having inflicted such a wound upon her enemy.
“Finally! Kill this creature! Quickly, we have to end them, for the Dominion!” She said, her voice full of zealous fervor, but a firm punch from him knocked her out. He didn’t know what was going on, but whatever was going on was clearly wrong and needed to be stopped.
“No… no this isn’t right. Somethings wrong and we shouldn’t be fighting the-”
But just as he finished that thought, he was laid low by searing agony throughout his entire body, and he collapsed, before standing in a disjointed manner.
“HERO! KILL THESE HEATHENS!” The Hierophants yelled, and he dashed forwards. He was a prisoner in his own body and he struggled against it, watching as he met Safa in combat that was sure to be lethal.
– – – – – –
Ihena felt something shift and frowned, glancing down at the mortal world. In fact, all of the gods did. Even the dead souls in her present company looked down at the world. Things were not looking good, but there was hope yet.
But then things got worse, she felt a curtain getting pulled aside, things far older and more terrible than she or her kin were starting to stir and awaken. The divine attention of thousands of gods turned and saw the Shroud getting pulled apart, the tendrils of eldritch abominations and elder gods starting to spill forth.
They went to war in that instant, but Ihena held back, sensing something more down on the mortal plane and she looked abc. A build up of deadly energies, energies which could silence even her champion for good. She couldn’t allow that, and though it broke so many laws, she reached out and did the only thing she could do.
She interfered.
– – – – – –
I parried the sudden and vicious assault by the man, this other hero. At least I knew who he was now, which meant I was going to do my best to not kill him. But fighting with one arm is very difficult but I at least had Amkhu to help out, and Sae as well. With Amkhu back in place as my armor, he would lash out on the left hand side now and then, since that was where I was rather literally armless. I knew shock should have rendered me useless, but a combination of adrenaline and probably something to do with being a Champion kept me on my feet. Not for much longer though, I was starting to feel a bit weaker than earlier, slower too. I was rapidly losing strength and stamina, and that meant I needed to end this now.
Blades clashed again and again, Amkhu using a tentacle to act as a replacement arm for me to hold my glaive with and that allowed me to at least be decent with the damn thing. But hero boy here had two perfectly working arms and hands and he was not holding back.
I felt his blade cut into the carapace over one of my legs and I jumped backwards, then reversed course the moment I landed, which came as a surprise to him because he didn’t expect the sudden thrust I made. My blade sank into his gut and got lodged. It wasn’t really what I wanted, but it would do for now. I could heal him and apologize later. For now I had to-
The world went white, I heard maniacal laughter and watched in shocked horror as the royal family was vaporized by eldritch energies, and then something touched my mind. Something sinister. But it didn’t last long, I felt a gentle hand grab hold of me enveloping my entire body in holy light, along with the hero. I felt myself start to rise off the ground, my legs flailing, trying to find something to hold onto.
“Safa!” I heard Sae yell, then he slammed into me, holding onto a pair of my legs. And then we were sent rocketing away, and my consciousness failed me.
Everything was a kaleidoscope of colors and swirling light. I felt Sae start to slip, but could do little about it. He was flung away, sent who knew where, but the hero and I remained bound by my weapon. When the world finally righted itself, my blade came sliding from him and we went crashing to the ground.
I landed in a jumble of limbs and swears, and he just rolled to a halt, leaving a trail of viscera behind. But he was alive, if his groaning was anything to go by. Catching my breath, I forced myself to my feet, and took in a changed world.
– – – – – –
Ihena nodded as her champion, and the hero were sent to safety. Though her elvish companion had been carried along the threads of time as well, but he was now elsewhere. But they would meet again, she knew that much. She looked up, as the walls of her home began to crumble, tendrils slithered into the chamber where she had watched her champions progress, and she prepared for one final stand. She had done all she could, and now she would see what became of the future.
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submitted by In_Yellow_Clad to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:57 mediamusing ☣️ Don't let Them touch You ☣️

I spend all of my daylight hours scared and alone in this musty old cellar.
It’s woeful, and I bet it smelled this bad even before everything around here turned to crap. Great. My second sentence and I’ve already resorted to swearing. When I decided I’d start this diary (five minutes ago when I got a tiny sliver of signal) I thought it would be my poetic and deeply-moving goodbye to the world. Maybe I’d write about love and loss, or maybe the splendour of nature. Then, when all is done and dusted, I’d have left something to be remembered by. As well as my corpse, of course.
This was a bad idea.
*
Okay, I’m an idiot. There’s nothing else I can do down here. I’ve rooted through every cardboard box a hundred times, organised and reorganised my supplies, I’ve even built a fort. So, I’m back. Hello. Again. God, this diary is going badly.
But there’s just enough light coming through the boards I nailed over the cellar’s tiny window to type by. So I may as well type. Stops me staring up at the window just waiting for a shadow to pass by.
Maybe I'll just write and not hit Submit. Right, where to start? Well, my name is – actually, I think I’m going to refer to myself as ‘X’. That sounds mysterious. If you’re reading this and want to know my real name, I still carry my purse. My railcard is in there and, if you really want to know who I am, go find me and fish it out. I won’t bite...
So, my name is X. I live in a little English village in the middle of nowhere. Before all this happened, I had a mum, a dad, a sister and there was a boy I liked, his name was Jonah.
*
I couldn’t think of anything else to write so I waited until I came back from my rounds. That’s the stupid name I have for when I go outside at night scrounging for stuff. Drinks are the hardest. I only trust bottles or cans, or did, and I was running out of places to search for them. But I guess that doesn’t matter now.
My leg is doing alright actually; didn’t hold me up at all. I saw Jonah too. He’s looked better, I have to say. It’s strange because this is only the second time I’ve seen him since we came here. Maybe his ears were burning.
Anyway, I found some tinned pineapple in a creepy old caravan I hadn’t searched yet. Had to bust the door open with Old Trusty – which I thought might attract some unwanted attention – but it was fine. I’m actually eating the pineapple right now, tastes good. I also found a radio in there. I already have three down here, but none of them work. Not that the caravan radio works either, all you get is static. It’s just nice to collect something. You know, to have a hobby.
*
I can tell the sun is rising. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours, but I woke up after a bad dream. I know some people can remember their dreams, but I never do. I wake up and grasp at them, but I never manage a hold before they fade away. It’s like trying to pinch the corner of a wisp of smoke; the harder you try, the quicker it fades to nothing. I’m just left with a sensation, a kind of imprint which sums up the most intense part of the dream.
And a cold sweat. That’s new.
*
I’ve been through the box of photo albums I found at the back of the cellar again. I’ve looked through them a few times now, but I always notice something new.
There’s a photo of this little girl playing with a pretend guitar. I can tell it’s pretend because it doesn’t have strings, only brightly-coloured plastic dials. Kind of like My First Guitar Hero or something. The girl has dark hair and she looks a tiny bit like my sister did a million years ago. I don’t have a picture of my sister. I suppose I could go and get one from my old house, but it’s right in the middle of the village. I’m lucky I wasn’t torn to shreds the last time I went back. So, what I’ve done is put this girl’s photo in my back pocket as a substitute.
I guess I should probably write something about my real sister now. But I don’t think that’s a good idea just yet.
*
Daylight is starting to fade and I’m getting ready to go out on my rounds. I always take my satchel with me, packed with useful objects. I have Old Trusty (a crowbar) which sticks out of the top for easy access, a small toolbox, a pair of heavy-duty gloves (there’s a good story about how I got those, I might write that one down later) and a hammer. I carry a penknife I found down here in my pocket, my purse and phone, and a torch in my hand.
I don’t like to use the torch because its battery is running out and there’s always the chance it might attract them. I probably shouldn’t have used it last night when I got back. Maybe I’m starting to enjoy this writing malarkey? I need to be careful with luxuries.
*
Okay, that could have gone better.
Picture the scene: I’m using Old Trusty to try and lever a kitchen window open, when one of them just walks right through the garden hedge. Seriously, straight through it. It’s not the mightiest of hedges but, still, it just appeared like it was walking through one of those Japanese paper walls. My satchel was on the ground, but I legged it anyway. I’m not stupid. I know I can go back for it tomorrow. I felt strangely naked without it on the way back here though.
Like I said before, I need to be careful with the torch so I think I’ll try and get some sleep now.
*
I slept pretty well last night; no nightmares or cold sweats. Maybe a midnight chase was just what I needed to blow away the cobwebs.
I actually woke up wondering about you. If you’re reading this, who are you? If you’re like me, living through this village nightmare, how have you managed to go this long without being killed or whatever? Maybe you’re Army or some such. Maybe you’re just some kid who’s played so many videogames that surviving all of this was already second nature to you. Or maybe you’re like me; living on borrowed time and searching for a good place to die. Maybe Future Me was brave enough to tap Submit on my diary and you're currently reading this on your phone or computer.
Here’s an idea. Maybe you can carry on this diary from wherever I left it at. God, I really hope this isn’t my last entry, although I suppose any entry might be. If you do carry the diary forwards, and I'm a corpse, maybe it will become cursed. Spooky.
*
I’ve been preparing for my next excursion.
If I know I’m going somewhere I’ll likely run into an ugly, I like to take extra precautions. And I want my satchel back. It was a present from my dad, and I know it cost him a lot of money.
So, I’m taking a pair of shears from the shelf of old tools down here. That way, if I lose Old Trusty, I’ll have a backup weapon.
If you are local, I wonder how you like to kill them? Pretty morbid question I know, but everyone around here seems to have their preferred method. The last villager I saw alive carried a pair of mini cricket bats and seemed to have bludgeoning down to an art form. He never saw me though, I was watching from a grove of trees as he killed his way along the main road near the village.
That was before I decided to stay inside during the daylight hours. We can at least see a little bit at night; ambient light and everything. They can’t though. I’ve seen them, they bump into things. It’s pretty funny to be honest. If they hear a noise, they walk in the direction of the sound, never trying to avoid any object in their path. They either bash said object out of the way, or, like that hedge, blunder right through it. Obviously bigger things stop them dead (ha!) though. If that happens, they sort of shuffle backwards and then try again a few times. Eventually – and I’ve seen this too – they just give up and stand there, waiting for something else to attract their attention.
That’s not how it works in the daytime though.
*
I think it’s about an hour before the sun sets so it’s nearly time to head out. I’m going to change my bandage. One minute.
Okay, it didn’t look that bad really. The original scratch wasn’t too deep and now the wound seems to be doing that scabbing thing I remember from normal injuries. It just doesn’t smell very good. A bit like when you walk past a bin that needs emptying.
Anyway, I’ve applied more antiseptic and redressed it. Time to go.
*
That was fun. I’m glad I had those shears with me.
I got my satchel back you’ll be happy to know. And I got inside that house I’d been trying to break into as well. More through necessity than choice in the end, but I’m pleased I did. I found more batteries! That means I can justify writing at night a bit more. In fact, the people who used to live there (I think the husband owned the local garage) were pretty well kitted out. There were a lot of tins in their cupboards, and they’d even left a shotgun. It wasn’t loaded though.
Not that I need a shotgun. I didn’t tell you this before, but I have my grandpa’s old service revolver. He always told me and my sister that it was decommissioned, but my dad apparently knew otherwise. I keep it tucked into the back of my jeans at all times. It had three bullets, one of them is gone, so only two left.
I’ll only be needing the one of course.
*
Morning. I’m feeling pretty low today. I think concentrating on getting my satchel back took my mind off things, but now I feel pretty deflated.
Surely that’s understandable? The village I knew and loved has been replaced with this sodding hell. I miss my family, my friends, TV and hot dinners and Instagram. Before all of this I was a pretty positive person. Sure, I had a bit of trouble getting up in the morning, but, once I was up, that was it. I’d meet the day’s challenges head on, try to enjoy myself as much as I could. Not today though.
Maybe if I write about Jonah I’ll cheer up. Not Jonah as he is now of course, Jonah when he was all smooth-skinned, curly-haired and bright-eyed. Now he’s like the anti-Jonah or something. His face looks like it lost a fight with an angry lobster. No, wait, I’m supposed to be writing about Jonah version one here.
He’s one of those people that I can’t remember meeting. My family has always lived around here and so there are lots of people who have just always been, if you get me. I always thought we would drunkenly get it together at a party – that’s what I’d usually do if there was a boy I liked. Classy.
*
I’ve perked up a bit. Out of sheer frustration I went upstairs (naughty, I know) and looked out of a window. Sure, I saw an ugly, wandering aimlessly as they always do, but I saw that the trees are starting to turn too. That means it’s nearly autumn, and I love autumn!
My sister and I always used to go out and kick leaves at each other in the autumn. I don’t know if it was because of her low centre of gravity, but my sister was amazing at it. She could somehow whip up a blazing whirlwind of golden-yellow and fire-red, surrounding us both in a leaf storm that I couldn’t help but flail my arms madly at. Then we’d both fall backwards into the leaves laughing, me wondering how on earth what had happened was possible. She was that good.
God, I let her down in the end.
*
I think I’ll stay away from the house with the shotgun tonight. It usually takes a day or two for a group of uglies to disperse once they’re all riled up. I could use the rest of that tinned food I suppose, but I’ve got plenty to be getting on with for now.
Instead, I think I’ll swing by another farmhouse I was scoping out before I decided to turn nocturnal. I never met the people who used to live there, but I remember Mum telling me they liked their privacy. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind me visiting now though.
Also, there’s a woodland between here and there and I might be able to find some leaves to kick about a bit. I think that would make me feel close to my sister again.
I’ll check back in later.
*
I’m still alive, but only just.
I made it through the woods just fine (only the odd leaf on the forest floor at the moment though, sadly), the trouble started at the farmhouse. I couldn’t get in – the doors and windows were barricaded – so I tried one of the outbuildings. Locked. It had a cat flap though.
My first instinct was to leave it, but then I wondered if there might be something useful inside. Lord knows what thinking about it now. I lifted the cat flap with one hand and shone the torch beam through with my other. That’s when an ugly dived at my pinkies. Luckily, it misjudged its leap and got a mouthful of plastic cat flap instead. As for me, I fell backwards onto my bum.
Next, the damn thing started bashing on the door from the inside. I don’t think it could ever have got out, but the noise attracted more uglies from out of nowhere. I only just managed to outmanoeuvre them and hightail it back into the woods.
That’s not the worst of it though. On the way back my leg started to hurt. A lot.
*
I woke up this morning and I’m walking with a limp. It’s funny, Dad had a limp when he and Mum died. He was nailing planks of wood across our windows and doors because there was no signal (as per bloody usual) and we thought that what was happening here was probably happening everywhere. It's only recently that I realised this was an isolated, local outbreak. Anyway, Dad dropped the hammer onto his toe, he always was useless at DIY. I think it was only a couple of hours after that when he and Mum were taken.
It was like a wave of death. No, not like, that’s exactly what it was. A hoard of uglies swept through the village, probably originating from the secret research facility in the woods we're not supposed to know about. My sister and I wouldn’t have had a prayer if Mum and Dad hadn’t charged down the first few that got into our house. They gave us just enough time to escape, to run away and leave them to die. My sister was screaming all the way and I had to drag her like she was four again.
She wouldn’t speak to me for a few days after that. I didn’t blame her, I hated myself too. But I would have hated myself even more if I hadn’t done what I did next. On my own, I snuck back into our house with the crowbar I found here. Then I dispatched my parents. I can’t bring myself to type it any other way. It wasn’t like in the movies, I didn’t pound their skulls into mush whilst sobbing, ‘Why?’ over and over again. I just found them, or what was left of them, forced the crowbar through each of their eye sockets, and came straight back here.
Then came the crying.
*
I haven’t told you about the heavy-duty gloves yet, have I?
After I got back from our old house, my sister started speaking to me again. A shared, day-long cry will do that for sisters. Once we felt up to it, we decided to explore the parts of the farmhouse we hadn’t searched yet. All the bedrooms were empty, only a few belongings flung about the place (I suspect the previous tenants left in a hurry). The problem came when we investigated the attic. Once we’d opened the ceiling panel in the upstairs hallway, once we’d pulled the compact staircase down, I went up. My sister stood at the top of the hatchway shining the torch beam over my shoulder. And that’s when it touched me. Terrified, I fell to my left, screaming as the thing came crashing down on top of me. I was yelling things like, ‘Shoot it!’ and, ‘Run!’ but my sister was just laughing her head off. I soon realised that my attacker was in fact a shop-window mannequin.
I think the people who previously lived here must have been arty (or into some seriously freaky stuff) because the mannequin was dressed in scarves, bandannas, ties, watches – loads of things. The rest of the attic was pretty empty but at least we got the mannequin’s gloves.
*
I’m not feeling good at the moment. I’ve got a sore throat and I’ve coughed up blood a couple of times. My leg pain is getting worse too.
I don’t think I’ll go out tonight. I have enough tins left and one of them is a Full English In A Can. Sounds pretty disgusting, but intriguing at the same time. I’ve been saving it for near the end. A sort of consolation prize.
*
There are two mattresses down here. Obviously one is mine, and the other one was my sister’s. After she died, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. I don’t have a photo of her, only Guitar Girl’s. Her bed is the only thing of hers I have left. And she didn’t even sleep in it that many times.
*
The tinned Full English was vile! You’ve got to laugh though, what else can you do?
*
I’m crying as I write this. Tears of sorrow, shame and regret.
It happened as we were searching a cottage just off of the main road. We’d used Old Trusty to get inside, and I’d rushed straight into the kitchen to find the food. We’d run out more than a day before and I was famished. My sister followed me into the kitchen, a wide grin on her pretty little face because I was sitting there with an open can of beans. Then one of them came at her from behind. I must have walked right past it on my stupid way to the cupboards. It bit into her neck and blood gushed over the tiles in a torrent. As she yelled out in agony, I leapt up and implanted the crowbar right into the thing’s skull. It crumpled to the floor, but the damage was done.
Don’t let me lose myself.’ That was the last thing my sister whispered to me before she passed out. Her wound was much more severe than mine is, and much closer to the brain. That seems to make it quicker. I took grandpa’s revolver from behind my back and blew her brains out.
I buried her in the back garden.
*
After my sister died I went kind of crazy. I took Old Trusty out across the fields and pulverised every ugly I could find. I don’t even remember it that well, it was just, find, kill, find, kill…
We’d only been going out in daylight before then but, in my anger, I carried on through the nights. That’s how I learned about their inability to evade in darkness. Eventually, though, one got me. I found three munching on a dead cow and ran straight at them. Took out the first two easily enough, but the third managed to scratch my leg with a bloody fingernail just before I clobbered it into oblivion. Once I realised its nail had broken the skin, it was like a switch had been flicked inside me. That’s it, I’m dead too. I lost my bloodlust and came back here.
*
If none of this had happened, I think my sister would have eventually gone into medicine. I was doing okay at College but she was top of her class at school. And she had a really kind nature too. She’d never squish any bugs that got trapped in our house; she’d get a glass, scoop the little critter up and seal it inside with a book. Then she’d take it outside and release it, even if it was a wasp.
*
I’ve decided that here’s not the place. I'll hit Submit and then I’m going to do it in those woods I wrote about; consider this diary as my Note. I’ll be able to find a nice spot to sit and look at the trees, some place that's calm and peaceful. I’m going to leave the picture of Guitar Girl in this cellar, she belongs in this house. The tree leaves will remind me of my sister more than any photo ever could anyway.
I guess all that’s left to say is thank you for listening.
I know it’s possible that no one will ever read this, but that’s not really the point is it?
Love,
X
*
Thanks for reading! If you want more from this universe check out The X and Wye Anthology Series
-- Jack
*
submitted by mediamusing to cryosleep [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:46 In_Yellow_Clad The Assistant

Snen scampered as fast as his hands and clawed feet could carry him, the bag he’d snatched bouncing against his back and clinking with all the precious goodies held within. He had been a rather sneaky kobold, that’s for sure, but not sneaky enough. The owner of the bag had noticed him right as he’d started to draw the bag away, but rather than freezing and giving the bag back, he’d run away.
Now he was zigzagging through the streets, streets lit by gas lamps. The marvelous city of Brassgate was shrouded in perpetual darkness, as was the rest of the world. It was a place of civility, technological and medical innovation. It was also home to a tribe of sneaky, greedy, thieving kobolds who lived in the deepest parts of the sewers.
Clockwork horses attempted to avoid him but when they couldn’t they instead tried to step on him, but he was a quick thinking kobold and dodged each of those more than deadly strikes with ease. People hopped out of the way, little cries of surprise as well as disgust leaving them. Some even tried to grab him and the bag, but to no success.
He altered his course and slipped down into an alleyway, before he disappeared beneath the streets through a service access for the tunnels and sewers. Here he felt safe, the noise of the city now gone, replaced with the sound of rushing, yet putrid water. He was used to the smells, they all were, and it masked their own particular scent well enough that no beast could find them.
His pace slowed considerably and he wandered along, following the well hidden markings on the walls towards home, towards the rest of the tribe. Now and then the squeak of a rat would catch his attention for a few seconds, but though he was hungry, he had to get back before he could feast. Surely the chief would see fit to reward him for this most bountiful acquisition?
Turning a corner he stepped into the tribe's settlement, a small town of rickety bridges and ramshackle buildings, all held together with the weakest, flimsiest lengths of rope one could have ever found. It was also teeming with kobolds. They scampered around and yapped frequently, tussling, arguing, or generally being a nuisance to one another. But not Snen, no no, not him. He was one of the sneakers, the snatchers, he was afforded a small sense of superiority over his kin because he was allowed to go up to the surface where all the tall people were, where it was dangerous. He was a hero who ensured the tribe survived.
Of course, he wasn’t AS important as the chief was, nobody was more important save for a dragon or the gods. He scampered along, joining an ever growing gathering of other sneakers who had returned from their own forays to the surface. They lay their offerings one by one at the chieftains feet, who was just a bit bigger than the rest of them. Many shiny things were placed upon the growing pile. Candlesticks, jewelry, even a small dagger and plenty of coin purses as well. Snen’s offering was the odd one out, as the bag itself was not shiny, though the contents were.
“What is this? You bring not shiny before chief!?” Clarg, the chieftain, said. He loomed over Snen, the ornate and horned headdress he wore making him even bigger.
“N-No great chief! Bring many shiny! See see?” Snen quickly spoke and folded open the bag, showing off the vials and tools held within, which sparkled in the torchlight. Clarg leaned over and peered inside, before yapping happily enough.
“Good! Good, many shiny, this good. Snen has done… Done good… What that?” Clarg spoke, his tone inquisitive as he peered at something over Snen’s head. Snen and the rest looked back, and spotted a white rat sitting calmly on the floor, front paws idly cleaning its face. And then they heard something they knew was trouble.
Click, clack.
Footsteps, tall people footsteps. The many kobolds immediately snatched up crude weapons and huddled together, preparing to repel the invader and relieve them of their shinies. From the deep gloom of the tunnel that Snen had used to get back, a figure appeared. Black dress, not overly fancy, black leather gloves that stopped around mid bicep, and a cane clutched in one hand.
But perhaps most disconcerting was the beaked mask that protruded from under a hood. Like the gloves and the corset wrapped around the figures midriff, it was black leather and curved wickedly, punctuated by a pair of flat, tinted glass circles where the eyes should have been. The figure stopped just at the edge of the settlement, and used their cane to point right at Snen.
“You.” They said, their voice clear even though it was muffled by the mask. A woman's voice, one punctuated by weariness and annoyance. “You have something of mine. Give it back.”
Clarg stepped past Snen, who was suddenly overcome with an intense fear. Never before had anyone dared follow him or the other sneakers down into the sewers, and even the city guard had attempted to root them out a few times but to little success. So why was this woman down here? Why had she followed him for just a single bag, surely she could have just gotten another one, and had it stolen as well.
“No give! Only take! Run away stupid lady! We no give. Stay and have more taken!” Clarg shouted, sure that his impressive display of confidence would be enough to scare off the woman. It did not. The woman didn’t even shift her focus off Snen, and began to advance when it became clear that she would have to reclaim her bag herself.
“No! No come closer! Get her! Get the stupid lady!” Clarg shouted once more, and the tribe rushed forwards, only to stop with surprised yaps as the ground shuddered under them. The sound of something large closing in on them was heard through the tunnels, like a massive deluge of water was on the way. “What-what happening!?”
Clarg managed to say this just before a tidal wave of rats came bursting out of many tunnels that converged on this junction, and they flowed easily around the structures and tribespeople, chattering and squeaking as they moved like a flood. They seemed to swirl around the masked woman who still calmly approached.
“You must not have heard me clearly. That’s understandable. But I will not repeat myself a third time. The bag, give it back. Because if you don’t, then my friends here will reclaim it one way or another.” The woman motioned to the rats all around her, the white one from earlier scampering up her skirt and back to rest upon her shoulder. “I may have taken a vow to do no harm, but they most certainly didn’t.”
Beady, glinting eyes stared intently at each kobold that they surrounded, a hunger in their eyes that gave the tribe pause. Would she truly unleash this swarm of hungry rats upon them? She did seem to be the only thing holding them back at the moment. Clarg, realizing that he was severely outmatched, turned to Snen, a wild desperation in his eyes.
“Give! Give bag! We not get eaten!” He said, and Snen finally snapped out of his dazed, terrified state and grabbed the bag, before realizing there was a sea of rats between him and the woman. A simple motion with the cane caused the rats to move out of his way, and he carefully closed the distance, holding the bag out before him as though it would strike at any moment. Once it was within reach, the woman reached down and took it, taking a moment to inspect the contents before she slung it over her shoulder.
Rapping the cane against the ground caused the rats to disperse back into the tunnels, but they didn’t go much farther, staring at the kobolds from the darkness. Thousands of eyes stared at them, reminding them that they were being watched.
“You’re lucky I did not lose my patient because of your little stunt. Ensure it does not happen again.” She said, before turning on her heel and leaving the way she came. With her departure, the rats vanished fully as well, off to resume rat things. A collective sigh was released, and Clarg looked at Snen, then at the tunnel and then back to Snen.
“Big stupid idiot! Snen stupid, nearly got us eaten by rats! Go away Snen! Leave leave! Go to the lady, maybe she pity Snen!” Clarg said, waving around his beating stick threateningly and even smacking Snen over the head a few times for good measure. The others joined in quickly, casting rocks or bits of harmless debris at him, but some of the things that were thrown did hurt and so Snen wisely scampered away and out of the settlement.
As Snen wandered the dark tunnels he had a vague hope that things might get better. But it did not. Whenever he encountered another kobold they would strike him without hesitation or mercy, and nearly a week after that horrible encounter with the lady, he was beaten quite thoroughly. Left mangled and bleeding in an alley, a feast for the rats or the desperate, he felt the world start to fade away with the sun as it lowered past the horizon.
But the strangest thing happened as one of his eyes started to close and remain closed as the swelling grew worse. He caught a flash of white, and then heeled boots of black leather stepped around the corner, a cane pushed firmly down into the dirt. He felt a gentle touch upon his broken form, and when his one working eye was able to look up at the face of the person who had come to his rescue, he felt his weakening heart flutter with fear.
For the masked woman had come for him, and he knew that her wrath would be great indeed. Perhaps she’d be nice and make his death quick. Instead the next few days were spent in a warm haze interspersed with blinding spikes of pain as she was forced to use some extreme measures to set breaks and put him back together.
But finally he woke within the comfortable confines of a soft, if small bed and under some heavy blankets. His scales were clean and bright, his body only ached slightly and the fog of despair over his mind had been replaced with a sense of calm that he had never truly experienced nor understood. The room he was in was mildly furnished, with a distinct lack of things like a wardrobe or dressers. Instead there was a pair of little side tables beside the head of the bed. Upon one of them was a glass of water and something to nibble on that was appropriate for a kobold to eat, on the other was a small set of simple clothes that would sit comfortably on his fairly small and thin frame.
The door swung open and in stepped the one person he really didn’t want to see again, except her appearance was different. The mask was dangling from her hip instead of sitting upon her face, and what a face it was. Angular, but not too sharp. Pale skin and rich brown eyes with long coal black hair done up in a simple bun. She looked noble, or as some might say, from good stock. So why then did she look so tired? Why did she look like she was on the verge of collapse?
“Oh good, you’re awake.” She murmured, her voice no longer carrying the volume required to be heard through the mask, nor the authority with which she had spoken back at the settlement. But it was undoubtedly her. “I was beginning to worry you might not wake, which would have been rather annoying after all the effort I went through to ensure you lived.”
Snen shivered, clutching the heavy blanket firmly in his claws and drawing it up to hide his snout. She sighed, settling down in a chair he hadn’t seen.
“Relax, I’m a doctor, I’m not going to hurt you. Especially not after saving your life.”
“But you angry with Snen, everyone angry with Snen.” He said, and he watched as a brow rose sharply, before she shrugged and cast her gaze elsewhere in thought.
“I was, quite angry in fact. But that was before I found you laying half dead in an alleyway. A moment later and you would have shucked this mortal coil. You are a lucky kobold.”
He chuffed, his own brow furrowing slightly.
“Snen don’t feel lucky.” He muttered, and she was by his side in the blink of an eye, a gloved hand pushing the blanket down slightly so she could lift his gaze to her own gently.
“But you are. Because you earned the attention of the one person in this city who actually gives a damn whether someone lives or dies, kobolds included. You are perhaps the luckiest kobold in existence at this precise moment.” She spoke quite softly, barely that of a whisper and yet he could hear her so clearly. This close to her, he caught a whiff of magic, powerful magic at that and something else.
His nose was a particularly sensitive one amongst his kind, and he could smell something held at bay by the magic that was all around her. A sickness set deep in her bones and body, something deeply malignant that wanted out but was unable to do as it wished. His eyes briefly focused on a small pendant that dangled from her neck, a simple wolf’s tooth engraved with runes of the old magic. He didn’t need to be a magic wielder to know that that was the source of the protective magics around her. The magic though felt weaker than it probably should have been, and when she straightened her posture and turned away, the mask swung just that bit closer to him.
It was like a hammer on his poor head swung by a giant with intent to pulverize, the magic that mask put off was exactly the same as the magic of the pendant, but far more powerful and longer lasting. Or at least that’s how it seemed. He struggled to remember how to breathe just as she turned back to him, having given him some space.
“Have you heard a word I said? Or are you contemplating trying to steal my mask?” She asked, hands on her hips. Even without the beaked mask on, she still struck a somewhat intimidating presence.
“No! No steal mask, mask scary. No like. What say?” He tried to deflect a bit, and she accepted the change in subject easily enough.
“I said you have two options. You’re free to leave and get yourself beaten up again, and probably wind up on my doorstep as a result if your luck holds. Or you can stay and work for me. I could use an assistant honestly, and I think you’d do nicely. It’d keep you out of trouble at least.”
Snen blinked, he could stay? That didn’t seem right, shouldn’t she be kicking him to the curb instead? It was an option she had given him, but honestly he was a bit frightened of going back outside. His face screwed up in an expression of deep and intense thought, before he made up his mind.
“Snen will stay, Snen wants to help.” He said, and he watched as a smile blossomed on her face, which seemed to lighten the aura of weariness that she exuded.
“Excellent. Then I shall prepare a room for you to call your own and-” Her face scrunched up, pale skin growing paler as he felt a dark surge from that sickness inside her. She started to cough, a hand desperately fumbling for the mask as the protective magic of the pendant gave out. She managed to unhook the mask but in her haste she dropped it and soon followed it to the floor, landing on her knees as the debilitating sickness took hold. Though Snen was still quite wary of her, he felt a decidedly strange urge to help her and so he slipped from the bed and scampered over to the mask, picking it up and slipping it over her face. Immediately the magic contained within flared to life and she gasped loudly. But strength returned to her quickly, as did her health and she slumped against the wall, breathing heavily.
“Thank you…” She murmured, and Snen felt a sense of both relief and satisfaction build within him at the gentle thanks he’d been given. She took a moment to rally herself and then stood, smoothing out the skirt of her dress before taking a deep breath. “Well, with that excitement out of the way, I should probably get you acquainted with everything here.”
“Ummm… Snen wonders what is making you feel bad?” He asked, and she looked down at him intently for a moment before looking away.
“That… is a story for another day. For now all you need to know is where all my supplies and tools are kept so that when I ask for something you can get it. And I suppose you need my name as well, wouldn’t you agree, Snen?”
Snen nodded and she bowed slightly, a hand over her heart.
“My name is Octavia Fidelia Sterling, though when working I ask that you either call me Doctor or Doctor Sterling.” Such a needlessly long name it was, but he could remember it… he hoped. “Now, come along and get dressed, you need to be shown around.”
He did as she bade and the next few weeks were spent familiarizing himself with the various instruments, tools and medical supplies she had. And she had a lot, way more than he would have ever thought, not that he’d ever given such a thing much thought in the first place. But by the end of his third week he knew the difference between clamps and a scalpel and could give her both. Strangely, now and then she would not use her potions or medicines, but instead use magic. It left her seriously drained and nearly comatose after each use, but the patient in question would be fully healed of all ailments or injuries. It was amazing to see and yet she always avoided his questions on the matter, coming up with some chore or excuse not to talk about it.
One day, after having settled into a comfortable routine, that routine was abruptly shaken up as she hunted through her supply of reagents and grumbled.
“Blast it all to hell… Snen, could you run to the herbalist and get me a fresh supply of nightshade?” She called over her shoulder, and Snen perked up. He hadn’ ventured out into the streets alone since he had been rescued, but the people of the city knew him now so he was sure to not be on the receiving end of abuse anymore. Or so he hoped. Still it made him nervous to think about. Still he took the coin purse she gave him and scampered out into the city wearing his doctor’s assistant garb. The people did not kick him, they did not hurl verbal abuse anymore, and he made it to the herbalist intact. It was the exit that posed a problem.
“It Snen! Get him!” A kobold cried, several others rushing towards him. Panic set in and he hurriedly stuffed that parcel of nightshade in a simple bag he now used and scampered away. But he was too slow and would take a hit now and then as one of the less encumbered kobolds got within range. But he made it back to the clinic just in time, though not nearly fast enough to close the door behind him.
“Oh Snen, good you’re back, there’s-” Octavia started, just as the group of hostile kobolds burst through the door and tackled Snen. Yipping, snarling and much more followed, before they all heard the sound of steel being drawn and the lead kobold looked up to see the razor thin edge of a blade pointing directly at the space between his eyes.
“Get. Up.” Octavia’s voice was steel and cold, the blade hidden within her cane now bared for all to see. The kobold smirked, barring small but sharp teeth.
“Or what? Doctor lady says she won’t hurt people! You can’t hurt us!”
For a long moment that mask simply stared at the smug looking kobold before the blade advanced, the tip resting softly against his jugular.
“Care to test that statement?” She whispered, and the kobold suddenly wondered if perhaps she really wasn’t bluffing. The group of kobolds slowly made for the door, keeping their eyes on her and the blade before they fled as quickly as possible. Snen rose, shaking like a leaf and watched as she sheathed the blade.
“Why have sword if can’t hurt people?” He asked, and she sighed deeply.
“Because my oath allows me to cause harm if it is in defense of a patient, myself or anyone that works with me. I cannot simply cause harm unprovoked. Hence the sword.” She said, using the cane to push the door closed. “Now, let’s get you patched up shall we?”
– – – – – –
Chieftain Clarg was annoyed that Snen seemed to have found safe shelter with the scary doctor lady, even more annoying was the fact that now her ire had been earned once more. But oh well, Snen would get his dues soon, and so would the doctor lady as well. Nobody makes an enemy of Clarg!
It was then he noticed a white rat sitting before his throne, bearing a note attached to a string. He carefully read it, and felt the courage drain from his body. From the tunnels came a rumbling, and all of them looked up in concern as tidal waves of rats rushed towards them and forced them to flee. Within minutes, they were forced from the city sewers and out into the wild, the ramshackle settlement they had built was demolished in the deluge of rodents. The wealth they had stolen was reclaimed on a later day by the city guard. Clarg though managed to keep just one thing during his escape. He kept the letter and hoped he would never run into the masked lady again. Each night he would read it again and again, fear clouding his mind.
“You should have left my assistant alone.”
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2023.03.25 16:12 maximusaemilius Alien crewmates experience their first "Halloween" on a human ship.

Krill awoke, well not really awoke because Vrul don't sleep, but more like drifted out of a daydream, completely unsuspecting.
Then again, when it came to humans, he was almost always completely unsuspecting.
Krill generally took his hiatus in the in the medical bay, since he spent so much time there. There was, however, one drawback to this...
He woke to the sight of Conn, the starborn, floating suspended in a corner of the room.
His large black eyes were wide and unseeing, his large, round mouth was parted revealing the sharp interior vortex of teeth. He saw nothing, and he responded to nothing. It had been months since the event at the prison, and still, the starborn remained comatose. Internal cranial scans had not shown anything definitive. Starborn were difficult to read when compared to humans, but still it was frustrating they could find nothing.
Overall else, commander Vir blamed himself, Conn had saved his life before falling into a coma, and the man seemed to think it was partially him to blame, Krill couldn't have disagreed more, but there was no arguing with the man.
It was rather early, and the medical bay was empty, the lights above had been dimmed to mirror solar cycles and allow for the proper function of the human circadian rhythm. The biggest protest Krill had against this practice was it made everything dark and kind of creepy, especially when you had a brain dead starborn floating in the corner. He shuttered internally and turned away from the corner, quickly making his way from the room and into the dark hall.
Admittedly it wasn't much better out here. While the medical bay had a comatose starborn, the outside hallways were covered in an exposed layer of pipe, and without the reflective white surface of the hospital interior, the hallways were much darker.
Due to safety concerns, the hallways were lit by a single light every twenty feet, but that was seriously no help. He swallowed his concern beating it back with logic and made his way down the hall. The commander would be awake soon, and Krill had a few concerns he wanted to bring before the man.
He was passing a T-intersection on his way to the bridge, when an echoing clatter reached him from down the hall. He turned peering into the darkness, his night vision was relatively poor, so he saw nothing, but switching over to his thermal vision, he could see the faint figure of a human standing in the hallway.
It was a rather hunched person, but other than its heat signature, he couldn't see anything else.
He switched back to his regular vision,
*"Hello?"
He called into the darkness.
Another soft clattering, and a figure appeared from the black, stepping into the penumbra of light right at the edge of darkness and visible light.
Krill blinked in confusion.
It was a woman, or at least he thought it was. She had her face concealed by ragged drapes of long black hair; her head tilted down towards the floor. Her shoulders were hunched, and her hands were held down to the side. She wore only a long white t-shirt, or perhaps a night dress. Krill might have mistaken it as a hospital gown.
Seemed odd, usually the crew were at least somewhat dressed and presentable?
Perhaps they were sleepwalking, humans did that sometimes,
"Hello?"
Krill called again. He took a step forward, and before he knew what was happening, she was crawling across the floor, limbs contorted, feet scrabbling.
Krill let off a high-pitched squeal, turned and ran even as her scuttling followed after him, a horrible brushing slapping noise as her hands came in contact with the metal.
She was so close he could hear her breath.
He shrieked again, and somewhere along the hall a door opened.
A large blue head appeared form the doorway, blearily blinking,
"Krill what… HOLY SHIT!"
Sunny froze when she turned to look, eyes growing wide, then grabbing Krill up in one arm, she crouched into a fighting stance head lowered.
The 'thing' pulled up short, and then sat back on its heels. Dark hair parted about a grotesque face grey and cold, with dark black about the eyes and a horrid blackness about the lips,
"That is really hard on the shoulders, by the way."
Sunny and Krill stared at the creature in surprise, as the woman got to her feet dusting off her hands and knees throwing her dark hair over her shoulder. She giggled,
"You should have seen your face."
"Damn Cortney, that was just mean."
”Yeah, scaring Krill, that’s pretty cheap…I wish I thought of that.”
Krill and Sunny turned again to find the commander standing at the end of the hall, followed by a posse of other humans, and all of them were...
Well, they were dressed very strangely.
The commander himself was wearing a maroon button up shirt, tucked into tan pants and a brown leather gunbelt and boots. Over that he wore a brown leather jacket that reached almost to the floor. Most surprisingly, he had replaced his eyepatch with a prosthetic eye.
Sunny cocked her head, in confusion,
"What is this all about?"
"Hold on, Krill though, that's low hanging fruit."
The woman shrugged,
"He was the only one I knew who I could scare and not get stomped, besides."
She grinned,
"He squeals like a child."
"Captain, we're wasting time!”
One of the bridge crew had stepped up to the commander's side. He was wearing a strange blue long sleeve shirt with a small golden emblem on it, black pants as well... And well his ears seemed rather pointier than they should have been.
"And you are absolutely right!"
He motioned the group behind him forward,
"Come on wouldn't want to miss anything."
Sunny and Krill stood by in confusion as the humans walked past in the wake of the captain.
Behind him, a bearded man in tan robes and a brown cloak followed by another in a strange black suit of armor with some serious breathing issues, and then a bunch of white armored men after that.
In stark contrast to that, a few people came by in very dated clothing, the women with large skirts, and the men with fancy tipped canes.
Sunny found one of the costumes quite unsettling, a human painted with a white face, but bright red lips and nose, with a shock of orange hair and a very strange lacy costume. When he smiled at her, it made her shiver.
After that, a human in a long black and red cape, dark hair slicked back. He smiled at them, and two of his teeth were far longer than they should have been. Sunny could tell by the way Krill cringed, that he wasn't particularly pleased with this.
They continued to parade past in a column, strange armor, stranger clothing. Sunny recognized some of them from the multitudinous number of movies they had watched on the crew movie nights, and even more from the countless movies Vir had made her watch.
A woman in green full plate armor with purple eyes clanked her way past, accompanied by one of the engineers in a red robe with multiple metal arms on his back and Ramirez, who was not wearing a shirt, while he held a weird sword with teeth and was painted by lots of red circles with weird arrows in them.
Behind them followed a man wearing a black suit, dark hair reaching to his shoulders. He had a very closely cropped dark beard, and under one arm he held a stuffed beagle... he was talking to another suit wearing man with a red flower on his chest, holding a stuffed cat telling him about offers he couldn’t say no to.
Whatever that was about?
After they had gone past, Sunny and Krill tagged onto the end of the line, following the group of humans.
They entered into the rec room, but not before another robed figure (accompanied by a small human with big feet, wearing a ring on a chain around his neck) with a big beard told them where they were not allowed to enter, and aranged themselves comfortably.
Commander Vir motioned them closer,
"Come on you two, don't' think I didn't forget about you."
Sunny was a bit confused when he handed her a very strange looking weapon, shaped sort of like a teardrop, but with two prongs. When she pressed a button near the handle, the entire thing lit up with analogue blue electricity.
Another human wearing a helmet with a golden visor and clad in green full body armor exclaimed:
”Aww fucking sweet, I love it! Look Sunny we are a costume pair now!”
Kril got some sort of black covering with a red hourglass shape on the back.
"What is this?"
Krill demanded, the commander grinned and opened his arms wide,
"This my friend is october 31st, Halloween."
"A hallow whats-this?"
"No Halloween. Probably about the greatest holiday ever."
"Like christmas?"
Krill wondered.
"Exactly like christmas. A pagan holiday evolved overtime for commercialization to squeeze every drop of income out of the general populace, and absolutely the best."
Krill and Sunny looked back and forth between each other in confusion.
"What does that have to do with the costumes?"
"Well originally I think it had to do something with wearing masks so a demon couldn't see your real face or something, but now you just dress up as whatever is cool, and then the kids go around asking people for candy. For adults it's an excuse to get drunk, eat their kids’ candy, and watch a scary movie marathon."
Sunny crossed her arms,
"And which one of those will we be doing now?"
”YES!”
”What?”
The commander grinned at her,
"Well, now that we are dressed up, we will be doing a scary movie marathon, eating candy, and then later we are going to party and get drunk... Within reason."
Oh great, this was going to be a disaster. Humans always thought alcohol was a good idea... It never was.
More humans entered.
The first one was wearing brown pants and a blue white shirt. He brought a suitcase, which upon him opening it contained boxes of chocolate.
Following him was a group of humans clad in black, who despite the low lights, were wearing sunglasses. The one with the darker skin color was handing out blue and red sweets.
The last one entering was Doctor Katie, wearing a pretty revealing white outfit. With her orange colored hair and showing everyone her ID card, she stood out quite a bit.
The commander took a seat on one of the couches and then patted the cushions next to him,
"See, I reserved seats for the three of us... oh, just one warning though, I am a total pansy when it comes to scary movies. I will scream, no question about it."
"Then... Why are we doing it?"
Sunny wondered.
"Because it's halloween, the entire point is to be scared at least some point during the day."
[…]
He was very much not kidding.
He did scream, a lot, and he had a habit of grabbing Sunny rather violently when anything jumped out at them.
Sunny personally didn't see the big deal, there wasn't any monster for real, and even if there was, she had a couple of ideas on how to get rid of them, and most of them involved a sharp stick of some sort, or a grenade.
It also didn't help that the humans were always stupid, she knew humans and she was very aware of how well their flight or fight system worked.
No human she knew would walk into a dark room after something creepy happened to them.
But these humans, they loved it, if they weren't freaking out, they were laughing at the others freaking out, and even those who were freaking out ended up laughing a few seconds later. She was sure that Krill had some paper in mind about human social bonding, or perhaps a theory about the calibration of the flight or fight system encouraged by the viewing of scary movies, but she wasn't convinced.
Watching Adam almost pee himself was rather entertaining, and out of the two of them, she liked it when he was forced to rely on her. In this case, he mostly just borrowed her as a shield, but still, it was funny.
Krill was not particularly happy with the amount of trash food consumed.
He hadn't exactly known about health science when he started, kind of assuming that humans could just eat anything they wanted, but now he knew better, and knowing better meant being annoyed at the human's poor life choices.
As for the strange costumes, it turned out that the humans had dressed themselves up as popular characters from movies, books, or history. If not a specific person, then they chose for an aesthetic. The woman in white was from a centuries old horror movie called, the ring. As for commander Vir, he described his costume as "Coming from the best underrated sci-fi television show to ever grace planet earth.
Krill didn’t understand what lamp-bugs had to do with it.
She would have placed him in a western rather than science fiction, but it seemed as if humans didn't like following the rules of their own genres.
As for Krill, he did have a couple of theories to write about. Yes, Sunny was right about the first two, and in conjunction with each other. Laughter was, mostly, a social emotion, sure humans laughed to themselves, but they did it at a much higher frequency around other humans.
Furthermore, from what he could tell, many humans didn't like to watch these sort of movies alone which concluded to him that fear was designed to be a social experience. In fact, humanity seemed to have designed a way to foster greater social bonds in people by having them experience fear together, not only that, but the human sympathetic nervous system was allowed to work in a safe environment readying itself for if something DID happen, and practicing for the eventuality.
He came to the conclusion that it was probably a good practice for the humans. It was a safe way for them to experience stress with other humans and prepare mentally for dangerous situations. For once, Krill actually approved of the behavior, it was safe, nothing dangerous about watching a movie.
As for the costumes, he had a theory about that too. Humans, and partially the Drev, were the only creatures known to design fictional events through fiction, as demonstrated by the movies. The Drev had generally used it the purpose of religion creating grand epics of fantastic warriors in order to teach their children attributes proper for a warrior. Humans would make up anything for the entertainment of it, they had an uncanny ability to imagine themselves in fantastic situations, and many spent times looking for these stories actively. Krill wondered if it was a way to practice empathy, putting yourself in the shoes of another, or if it was some sort of learning. Perhaps they gleaned information from unusual situations preparing themselves in case something was to happen.
The commander's opinion? Well, he pointed out that it was fun to be someone else for a while, someone who was braver than you, smarter than you, better looking than you, or maybe had a more interesting life then you. It gave you an excuse to act in ways you wouldn't normally do, and allowed others to accept your actions as, not you, but of another person.
Humanity desired nothing more than adventure, and perhaps... That's why they went to space before bothering to find out what was in the depths of their own ocean.
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2023.03.25 16:09 HarvesterFullCrumb [Supply And Demand] 19 - For Your Eyes Only

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"EVA, run the reports again. I need to be sure before we commit to that route of inquiry."
"Confirmed. Re-running documents one-alpha-three through two-delta-seven. Estimated time of completion, one hour, forty five minutes remain on processing."
"That's better than I've normally seen for over two thousand documents. Publish an alert when it's done," Elias concluded, lifting a mug to his lips. EVA was one of the most important tools that he had ever been given as a perk for a job, but the machine intelligence was far, far more than just a tool. It anticipated, and it read him better than anyone else could, even Justihf. Speaking of his life-mate, he glanced down at the time, realizing he was on track to being late for their first lunch rendezvous since they had moved to the station. Tapping a couple of keys and whispering a quick reminder to himself, he folded his jacket over one arm, leaving his mug of a particular synthetic replacement for coffee steaming on its coaster on the edge of his desk.
Leaving his office, he carefully closed the door behind him, glancing around. It had been a couple of days since his discovery of the Panzerschild Munitions contract, which in some cases had landed him in hot water with others of his station - they still considered him the 'new guy' even if it was Elias who had secured one of the most profitable contracts to exist for the CIG to that point. Some actively stepped out of his way amidst scowls and sneers, as if they were simply in a class of their own that Elias would never have a hope of piercing into.
Not that such things actively bothered him.
Some had looks of jealousy due to his relationship with one of the first non-Terrans to be employed by the CIG. Her contract placed her as the main combat instructor for the internal security arm of the station, and while some had been loathe to admit it, she was a damn sight better than the previous instructor, having had actual combat experience. Despite all of that, she hummed to herself as she sat at the table in the corner, the one many had simply called the 'Matriarch suite' under their breath. Regardless of opinion, not one dared to speak aloud to Justihf, aware of just how strong a Thalrazyne Matriarch could be with some of the security personnel still recovering from either medical augmentation to keep up with training or injuries sustatined when she could not withhold her immense strength.
Elias knew a few of the security personnel, having even served with two of them, and only the chemical and mechanical augmentations and upgrades of a Marine Raider were enough to keep up with a Matriarch even without training. Corporal Reeves and Private Jenkins, two very insubordinate soldiers, stared as Elias took his seat with Justihf, the Matriarch giggling as she leaned in and let Elias give her a quick kiss. No one would normally admit it, but several CIG employees were not angry with Elias, per se, but instead incredibly jealous. Sometimes it was simply not worth the effort to deal with Terran women, sometimes it was, but while Elias could sense the looks, it was not the purview of his lunch-time meeting with Justihf.
"Well, dear partner, what has your mind up in a storm today?"
"The Panzerschild Munitions issue. I've uncovered seven more contracts, on opposite sides of either Terran or non-Terran conflicts. For a Terran munitions company, they seem to be rather apt at funding the wars that keep destabilizing any chance at lasting peace. Not that Colonial Armaments is much better, but at least CoArm never sold to both sides at the same time."
"My mother does want to express her gratitude in the negotiation for the larger munitions and supplies contract put forward. She was... surprised, to say the least, that your name was the driving factor in its approval," Justihf explained, lifting a small bottle with a straw sticking out of it to the main induction nozzle on the front of her mask. Orange juice was hard to come by, but the synthetic and powdered variants were quite common aboard the station, and she had seemed to find that the synthetic version was calming, at least, from Elias' point of view.
"Well, Mister Harper was quite adamant that I take responsibility for anything in regards to the Thalrazyne. Losing that contract could cost literal billions, and having one of the most influential former Ambassadors on it lends it far more credence. If only putting my name forward like that worked on groups like PSM."
"PSM?"
"Ah right. Short-form on documents for Panzerschild Munitions. I've had to take copious notes, and short-forming a lot of actual names down to acronyms has been a part of that. PSM did lose their market share value as Harper said, but it seems that for every dip, something seems to be pushing their value straight back up, almost like someone is artificially influencing the markets through direct intervention. Not that I can actually say that it is what is happening, but it's suspicious. CIG's hit a flat line plateau though, which is... good."
Elias stopped as he noticed a couple of individuals glancing his way. Usually he would not have dared talk about contracts of any sort outside of a more clandestine setting, but aboard the main station for CIG? You were liable to find prying eyes, those with curious ears, and potentially some sort of individual hoping for a chance to commit corporate espionage. With organizations that spanned entire solar systems, and even multiple sectors, it was not entirely unheard of.
"So, that means..."
"The Terran Council is either complicit in market fraud, or someone else is manipulating the market. Either way, someone is actively doing this as we try and counteract the efforts," Elias explained, taking a quick sip of fresh coffee. CIG may have had some problems before, but he was glad for the robotic habitats that had the entire purpose of producing entire crops of coffee beans, all the purview of the Colonial Industrial Group. It was a small comfort compared to the mass of information necessary to complete his job, but black coffee was black coffee, and comforts were comforts.
It was a tall accusation, but with the evidence they had, they could most likely bury the offending party in enough paperwork and red tape to keep them out of their machinations for a long time. Elias knew the litigation teams who would likely be behind the investigation, and they were not friendly, especially not to those who would stand to gain and not pay their dues in taxes and insurance. People were willing to fight wars over resources, but no one was willing to tangle with Internal Affairs or the Federation Revenue Division.
"So who would we bring this to, then?"
"No one, unfortunately."
Elias glanced up to see Harper taking a seat, a communications visor across his supervisor's vision. Several documents appeared to switch quickly across his view as he blinked, glanced and tossed each along, his attention very much elsewhere as he scanned through multiple documents faster than Elias would have thought possible. Then again, he was not as enhanced as some of the other Acquisitions personnel, comparatively speaking, of course, his cybernetic prosthetic legs notwithstanding.
"Wait, what does that mean?"
"Currently, nothing. PSM contracts are currently being investigated, but they have enough open that they won't suffer by having a few revoked. Someone is actively manipulating the market, of course, as you surmise. However, until we can affect more than the pocketbooks of maybe a handful of executives, we're more or less up the creek without a paddle."
"At least the Federation Red Cross isn't getting involved in those... I know that look. They're out there right now, aren't they?"
Harper dejectedly nodded his head, taking off his visor and setting it on the table. The silent act of doing so drew the attention of everyone in the cafeteria - no one who had a visor removed it unless it was something entirely off-record, and if Elias' intuition was correct, it was something more or less for his eyes only. Or in the case of where he was, his ears only.
"Mr. Hawkins... I'm doing my best, but your intuition is scarily accurate. More accurate than some frontline reports, too. We lost three FRC ambulance frigates to an Ik'thar flotilla. We know what the repercussions of that is, and we are doing our best to suppress most of it. But three? That's over seven hundred souls lost, about two-fifty per ship, but that's over two thousand wounded and recovered personnel lost. Can you imagine the backlash against the Ik'thar if the Concordat were to learn of the destruction of medical ships?"
"Forget the Concordat, Harper. The Federation would have a war declared for them. And at this point, war may be the only option-"
"No, war is not the only option, Elias-"
Elias slammed his hands down on the table, silencing Harper. Very few individuals had kept paying attention, but their gazes were drawn by the sudden loud noise. It was beyond reproach to suppress the destruction of non-military vessels, as well as prevent the recovery of the husks, and Elias could assume that he had former friends who served on those vessels right up until their destruction. In his mind, there were only two possible good outcomes, and far too many bad ones.
"Harper, we have two options here, two very important decisions to choose between. Keep quiet and let the Ik'thar keep destroying medical transports - transports that the Colonial Industrial Group manufactures, mind you - or we do something unprecedented and we talk with our current main competitor. We get PSM on the horn, we bring up the destruction of those ships, and we make peace for once."
"Elias-"
"I'm not done. Compared to the Federation Navy, CIG and PSM combined have the most advanced vessel designs and weaponry, including items technically banned by the Geneva Accords and items not yet out of the prototype phase. We may be part of the corporate machine, but imagine this, Harper. We go out there, we show that we are willing to back up our contracts with force if need be. How long would it take before you start getting contract offers that might be near or as lucrative as the Thalrazyne Lend-Lease?"
Harper sighed as Elias rubbed his hands, taking a seat again when he realized he was still standing. He did not enjoy letting his rage out, but sometimes, of course, it felt good to let loose. However, if his gamble did not pay off, then he was likely to be ousted from his position. No one in the corporate world enjoyed being told ultimatums - to them, it was all a game, a chess match to out-think and out-sell your opponents. Even in war they all acted the same, and even with war right on their doorsteps, they were playing games with lives by suppressing information. It was something that had happened to Elias on the frontlines, where withheld information had cost the lives of several platoons worth of men, good men and good Marine Raiders. He was not about to let another tragedy happen because someone felt it was not necessary to do something about it, and for once, he was not held back by parliamentary red tape.
"Fine. You win. I think we all forget you've been on the frontlines when bureaucrats decided you didn't need to know important things. Janet Jackson!"
"Yes, Mr. Harper?"
"Get on the horn with Panzerschild Munitions. I think Mr. Hawkins here might want to speak directly to the devils themselves."
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Author's Note: Part 2 of the arc of Negotiation Tactics, sitting at 1968 words. I've been collating my story parts (Especially the multi-part arcs) into a handy document so I can more easily combine the parts into the short stories they technically are. Writer's Block hit me hard, and I needed something to spark human interest moreso than 'money is being driven here, and we don't know why.' Human compassion is a driving force that if someone does rely too much on, it can override their better judgement and they can end up in situations far more dire than they anticipated.
Outside of that darker note, hope you all enjoyed this part. Hopefully I can get past more of my writer's block and get more parts done.
See you in part 20 of Supply and Demand!
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2023.03.25 16:05 ffqnpmilfh 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/rkd2vdukhwpa1.gif
Fbailey story number 724
I Duct Tapped Her Boobs
Mom had been looking for work for a few months and her unemployment insurance was going to run out soon. She got a call back from an application that she had submitted. That night she was nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
Mom said, “I’m not as young as I used to be, I’m not as pretty, and my boobs used to get me jobs all the time but they are sagging way too much to get a man’s attention.”
I said, “I can help.”
She asked, “How?”
I replied, “Let Melinda help you with your makeup and I’ll tape your boobs to give them a great look.”
Melinda was the eighteen-year-old girl that lived next door to us. I knew that she was taking cosmetology in BOCES. I also knew that she put on her own makeup and that she looked gorgeous.
I told Mom, “Ask Melinda to come over so that she can show you what she can do.”
Mom asked, “But what about my tits?”
I said, “I can duct tape them. The tape won’t show unless you are going to let the guy see you naked.”
Mom said, “Show me.”
I got the roll of duct tape from the garage and asked her to remove her blouse and bra. Mom gave it a moments thought and then unbuttoned her blouse. She had on the red lacy bra that I liked. I had seen her in it a few times. Partial nudity was not a problem in our house. We see one another in our underwear almost every morning when we get up.
When she unhooked the back of her bra and let it fall into one of her hands, that was the first time that I had seem Mom’s tits bare. They were also the first real live tits that I had ever seen.
I ripped off about ten inches of the gray duct tape. I asked Mom to bend over and support her weight on a kitchen chair. In that position I could see just how wonderful her breasts looked. I almost hated to ruin that view. I reached under her and starting on one breast I wrapped the tape underneath them and stuck it to the other breast.
When Mom stood up she was pleased with the way they looked from what her eyes could see. So she walked to the big mirror near the front door and checked herself out.
Mom held them up with her hands, she shook her shoulders, and then Mom said, “They look great. Thank you. You will need to do this again in the morning before my interview.”
She just put her blouse on and called Melinda. She came over and gave Mom a make over. Then as Mom was looking at herself in the big mirror Melinda said, “Wow! Your breasts look great. Did you get a boob job or something?”
Mom replied, “No I didn’t get a boob job. I just let my son duct tape them. See.”
Then Mom unbuttoned her blouse and took it off.
Melinda said, “I need him to do my boobs like that. I’ve got a strapless prom dress but my boobs really need a bra.”
Mom suggested, “How about a strapless bra?”
Melinda giggled and said, “I tried one but the bra showed in that dress and it didn’t make my boobs look as good as yours do.”
Mom said, “Take your dress and bra off and let my son show you what he can do.”
Melinda replied, “All that I will have on will be a tiny G-string and I haven’t shaved my pussy since winter started.”
Mom laughed and said, “Good! He needs a good reward for taping my boobs and suggesting that I let you do my makeup in the morning for my job interview.”
Melinda said, “So I’m going to be his reward for him helping you?”
Mom smiled and said, “Yes! I suppose so, in a way. But I’m sure that he can help you too. After all he has had a crush on you for years. I’m sure that he jerks off to memories of you in that sweet little bikini last fall when your parents took us up to Pond Lake for the day.”
Melinda said, “That was the last time that I shaved my pussy.”
Mom said, “Oh come on, the poor boy has never seen pussy hair in his life. He sees me in my panties and bra every morning but I shave my pussy bare once a week.”
Melinda said, “Okay.”
Then she and Mom came to me in the kitchen.
Mom said, “Melinda wants you to tape her boobs too. She will need you to do it for her prom dress in a couple of weeks.”
So I watched as Melinda slipped out of her dress and then out of her bra. I never noticed her panties and hairy bush because all I could see was her beautiful breasts. They were full and her tiny nipples were hard and she hardly had nice areolas around them. She bent over and held onto the chair while I taped her boobs together from underneath.
Melinda stood up and Mom complimented her boobs. They went to the big mirror to take a better look. That was when I saw how small the front of Melinda’s panties were and how hairy her pussy was. As she walked past me on her way down the hall I saw her nice full ass with a couple of strings holding her panties on.
Melinda looked in the mirror and said, “Wow!”
I was looking at Melinda’s hairy bush and said, “Wow!”
Mom said, “He just noticed you pubic hair. He likes it.”
Melinda looked down and then at me. She smiled and said, “I like my pussy hair too. I hate shaving it all off in the summer but the other girls would laugh at me if I didn’t.”
Mom then asked, “Could I take a picture of you two together?”
Melinda asked, “Why?”
Mom answered, “I think he could use a sexy picture of you to jerk off too.”
Melinda smiled at me and then turned to Mom saying, “I will if you will. You need to loose your skirt and panties and I’ll take off my panties.”
Then she looked at me and said, “You need to strip too. I hope your cock is hard. I want a picture of you. I masturbate too…to images of you. I remember you getting hard-ons last fall. Every time that I bent over in front of you.”
Flabbergasted I said, “Really! But you’re eighteen and I’m only fourteen.”
Melinda giggled and said, “I like younger boys. The boys my age act so juvenile.”
Mom asked, “What about your prom date?”
She replied, “Billy? I only accepted his offer because he set me up with his little brother. Tad took my virginity last summer. It was great but after that he didn’t want to fuck me anymore. His brother brain washed him with the four F’s…find ‘em, feel ‘en, fuck ‘em, and forget ‘em.”
I stammered out, “Once would never be enough for me. I have loved you ever since I started puberty and after last fall I could never forget you.”
So Mom had me remove their duct tape so that it would not show in the pictures. They both put their panties on my pile of clothes. Then we took pictures. My cock was hard all right. Rock hard!
Melinda got one of her and me together, then one of me alone, and then a close-up of my cock. I got about twenty pictures of each of them and another twenty of them together. My favorite pictures were when Mom held Melinda’s pussy open for me and when Melinda held Mom’s pussy open for me.
Melinda noticed my pleasure with those pictures so she let me open her pussy while Mom took another one. Mom then had me kiss Melinda’s pussy and touch my tongue to her clitoris for pictures. Then I did the same to Mom. At my request Mom and Melinda kissed and tongued each other’s pussy too.
The highlight was when Melinda asked me to fuck her. She had been fucked only once by Billy’s little brother Tad over eight months ago.
Mom suggested that we do it in my bed. That way I would have some great memories to jerk off too in my bed.
Melinda let Mom stay and watch as we made love.
I kissed her, then I kissed her pussy again. I was between her legs when I crawled up to kiss and suck her nipples. My cock found its own way into her pussy. We both enjoyed that. Melinda said that my cock felt much better than Tad’s had. She said that it was thicker and longer and that Tad had cum in her in less than a minute. I prayed that I would last more than a minute.
I was so thrilled to have my cock in the girl of my dreams, in the girl next door, and with Mom watching it made it even better for some reason.
I pushed into her and she pushed back. I laid on top of her and she hugged me close. Just as I started to cum she locked her ankles behind my back and held me inside her. I didn’t think that I would ever stop cumming in her.
When I pulled out Melinda said, “Oh my God, that was amazing.”
Mom said, “I’m jealous.”
Then Melinda said, “I’ll share him with you if you like.”
Mom laughed and said, “I like a girl that shares her toys.”
When the senior prom came around I was Melinda’s date. I also tapped her boobs and they looked great in her dress.
Oh! Mom got that job that she interviewed for. So five mornings a week I got to tap her boobs together.
Having an older girlfriend and having sex with my mother set a pattern for the rest of my life. I never did date a woman younger than I was.
The End
I Duct Tapped Her Boobs
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submitted by ffqnpmilfh to ti8ocxd6vr [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:03 rshzjczkma 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/zfbppf0ahwpa1.gif
Another day walking home, wishing that my life would just spark up and become a little more entertaining.It's my sixteenth birthday today, and having getting my own home is not by best birthday present.Although my other presents have not exactly been great, either.My mom and dad both died when I was two; they were driving home on the mountain road, when a rock slide crashed down the hills and collided with the side of the car, spiralling them down the mountain.They both died on impact.
With only my uncle to look after me, I was with him until the age of twelve.My life wasn't too bad then, getting on with school, tring to ignore the sympathetic look of everyone when I expain my story.On my fifteenth birthday, my uncle was rushed to hospital on account of a heart failure... he died three weeks later.With no other relatives to look after me, I was sent out of my uncle's home, sent back to the Isle of Manhatten, where my old home was.I now live there, working in the local pub as a musician entertainer, earning just enough to pay for the rent, and to eat a scarce amount each day.Lucky for me my uncle and parents had a fair amount of money left over, and I inherited it all from them, but it is slowly dwinding to nothing.
This rough life has given my body the skinny look; being a sixteen year old girl, with B sized cups, and a twenty four waist, and standing at five foot three; choppy flame red hair and stormy grey eyes, this gives me a strange look everywhere I walk, then even stranger when they know my past.Im known as the “Cursed Kid,” everyone believing that its my fault for my family's death, giving me a very minimal amount of friends, and no-one to know my true name.
--*--
My head down, walking through the September fog that blankets the floor, my back aches with the weight of my guitar and school bag pulling me down into the ground.Not paying attention to where I am goin is not the smartest thing to do, especially with my luck, as I trip over something thin and pale stretched out across the floor.I tumble across the ground, the contents of my bag spilling out into the streets and my acoustic guitar rolling across the floor.I clamber to my feet, wincing at the grazes on the palms of my hands where I've tried to stop myself from falling, and look over to the cause of my fall.
Stretching out across the pavement was a figure, iluminated by the light of the street lamps above. Thin clothing, with a frail body and sunken features, he is not exactly the prettiest boy in town. However I collected my stuff, watching his shallow breathing as it comes in ragged gasps, and walk over to him, kneeling so I can see his face under the hood.Pale skin, dry mouth and a set of peircing blue eyes, I find that I can't help but stare until the sound of his shaky voice brought me back to reality:
“Can I help you?” he stutters, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper.
“I'm sorry, I didn't see you there” I reply. “Are you alright?”
“Well. considering you just fell on my leg, im pretty damn good for being homeless. No home, no food, life is perfect!” he retaliates, with an edge of spite in his voice.
“Alright, I was just asking. No need to be rude. My Name Is Annabelle, what's yours?”
“I don't know. I can't remember it. I've always been called Echo, so I've kinda stuck with that.”
“Well Echo, would you like to spend the night at my place? It's cold outside, and this fog is only going to get worse.” I then realise what a stupid mistake I have made, I just offered a random stranger to stay at my house! How stupid am I? Yet I still found myself offering this to him, as it just felt right.
“Let me get this straight. You've just met a random stranger, you don't know anything about me, and you are offering me a place to stay. Sure, lets give the stranger a room in our house, so he can bomb the place during the night!”
I twitch at the edge of sarcasm in his voice; he probably thinks I am just messing with him, taking the mick because of his poor life. “Look, do you want a room or not?”
“Wait, are you serious?” His tone of surprise shocked me, as if he wasn't used to someone being serious to him, or any small amount of good fortune.
“Yes, come on, before we catch our death!”
I pull myself to my feet, brush of any the dust on my jacket and trousers, pick up my guitar case and sling it across my shoulder. I then turn to face him and hold out my hand, offering to help him up to his feet.
“I may be homeless, but im not disabled, you don't need to treat me like an old person”
I step away, wondering why I decided to help this guy. He's right, I don't know anything about him, he looks a mes, he smells terrible, he could be someone just trying to steal money! What did I see in him?
--*--
We reach my home, as I open the door and let him in. he takes a couple of steps in, then stare's around, as if trying to look at everything at once. Spiral staircase, 2 three seater sofas with a 36' television and 3 bedrooms upstairs.I laugh at his shocked expression, watching him walk around in circles, as if trying to look at everything at once.I grab his hand and pull him behind me, laughing as he stumbles along trying to keep up as I run up the stairs, leading him to the bedrooms.I stop at the top of the stairs, turn around to se him bent over clutching his stomach, trying to gather his breath.
I notice his tattered clothes for the first time; the frail, ripped shirt hanging loosely across his shoulders; his degraded, tattered shorts that must be at least 3 sizes to small that they barely cover his knees.I then notice his hair: it's a sandy colour, not to dark, not to light, but barely visible under all the cobwebs, dirt and grime that's attatched itself to him.First things first, I think, he needs a shower, and then I will take him clothes shopping tomorrow.
“Showers on the left, you get in then slide your clothes under the door, I'll wash them for you and get you a towel.”
I watch him trudge into the shower, show him what buttons to press, then walk outside as I glimpse a look at his bare skin underneath his tattered remains of a shirt.I wait for his clothes, picking them up from the door, and walk downstairs to put his clothes in the washing mashine as I hear the shower head switched on.I put them in, as well as some of my dirty clothes and start it up, before realising he doesn't have a towel.I grab a towel from the airing cupboard, and head upstairs, only to find the shower door open and my bedroom door unlocked.I rush in, but after the sight of his nacked frame I spin away, covering my eyes and blushing a scralet colour, feeling my face burning with embarressment.
“What are you doing in my room?”I ask, waving the towel in his direction so he could take it, without showing any sings of interest to the fact that there is a naked boy in my bedroom.
“ I'm sorry, I was just looking at your music.”
I feel him take the towel from my hand, then slowly open my eyes and swivel round to find him covered by the towel, his sandy hair all washed and clean, and holding a copy of James Blunt. “Who's this person?”
“Thats James Blunt, one of my favourites.He's quite good, but this isn't the time to be looking at my music display.You need to get to bed to get warm, and then I'll take you shopping tomorrow.We can't have you walking around in those clothes you've got, they bairly even cover you.”
I lead him to the spare bedroom, taking a quick glance at my parent's bedroom, feeling a pang of guilt at my actions.I wonder if they would approve of my decisions?Surely I was only doing what was best, he had no home, no food, I was only doing what I felt was best.With that sense of guilt still wavering inside,I open the door to the spare bedroom; a barren room containing only a bed, a small shelf and stack of empty boxes in the corner.I help him in, making sure he is comfortable before walking out and heading for my room.
“Wait”he says, stopping me in the doorway.
I turn around to find him leaving the bed and walking slowly towards me, his head down, his face crimson.“I wanted to thank you, for everything”I blush at those words, feeling the guilt disappear as fast as it had appeared. Before I know it, he is only standing a few inches away from me, our faces tentatively close, as I feel his warm breath mixing with mine.My thoughts ponder ponder on what he might do, a hug, possibly?It seems right for the situation, I guess.
However as he leans in close, I realise what he is planning; I try to back away, but not nearly quick enough as our lips touch and any ideas of stopping him leave my mind.At this point, time stopped. Everything around me has frozen, the grandfather clock in the hall has stopped ticking, no sounds can be heard from outside, there is just silence, as we stand there, our lips touching delicately and tenderly, as if we are afraid of what might happen if we push the moment any more.He pulls away, his face crimson as time returns and the sound of cars and birds rematerialise out of nowhere.
“That was to say thank you, for everything you've done for me.”
“ You.. You're welcome.” I reply, shaking at that brief, intimate encounter with the stranger in my house.I walk slowly backwards as he remains still, rocking to and fro, as if unsure what to do.I turn and leave, walking as quickly as possibly to my room before I collapse out of sheer amazement.
I close the door to my room behind me, before collapsing onto my bed and thinking about that one kiss the whole night through.The only thought that manages to penetrate my mind apart from his lips was how a boy with such cold skin, such pale features could give a kiss so warm, and so friendly, that made me want to melt into him.With those two thoughts in my mind, I fell into a series of dreams, all seemingly ending with the kiss with the stranger in my house.
--*--
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submitted by rshzjczkma to de7ilctpov [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:03 xrkljixhst 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/hoazspg8hwpa1.gif
Most of my stories are detailed and very developed so I’m going to try and write a short and sweet story.
Mary was only a year younger than me. We met at a friends birthday party in my sophomore year. I instantly had a crush on the girl with short blond pigtails and braces. Mary had a soft voice and was hard to hear while in the party so we sat outside by the rivers edge and talked. Mary’s mother picked her up a little before the party officially ended and I didn’t see her again for four years ironically it was at another party.
Mary had grown up and filled out a lot over the last four years and I almost didn’t recognize her when I first saw her. The party was a graduation party for one of my ex-girlfriends named Shannon, we had remained friends but once I got to the party I realized I was only invited so she could make me jealous. Shannon kept her new boyfriend attached to her by the elbow at all times and introduced him to me as “My new boyfriend Brent, he is a Sophomore in college.”
I laughed at the introduction and shook his hand as I remembered filling Shannon’s mouth with my cum a few months earlier. I broke up with Shannon because she constantly talked about her ex-boyfriends and how they could make her cum by doing various things to her body. Now if Shannon was so desperate to make me jealous she must be doing the same thing with Brent explaining the details of how I got her off to him every night.
I found the kitchen and saw a dark blue mini skirt first. Short blond hair was tucked behind her ears led down a thin neck to bare shoulders under a very tight hot pink tank top that showed a very revealing mid drift. Her legs were smooth thin and long with bare feet. Stunned by the gorgeous girl, I stared feeling my penis tingle and begin to grow. Another boy from the party slammed into my right shoulder bringing us both back to reality as he too had been stunned by the girl in the mini skirt.
The soft voice sounded so familiar that I blurted out without thinking, “Marry?”
The beautiful girl turned to look at me her face was long and full with a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. It was Marry but an older way more sexually mature Marry, she wore thick black eyeliner that gave a sexy deviant look to her colorless eyes. Her lips were bright red and smiled wide after examining me for a few moments.
“Justin!” Mary shouted before leaping into my arms for a tight hug. The boy who had run into me moments earlier ran from the kitchen sporting bulging wood in his shorts.
“I can’t believe you are here,” Marry said taking a few steps back to look at me again. Mary’s frontal view was as sexy as her back. The hot pink tee shirt was cut short revealing the lower half of her large firm breast and her abs were so well toned she had the shadow of a six pack.
“I can't believe you are here either. You look amazing.” I said while trying to delay the growing hard on in my own shorts. “I tried to get in touch with you after that birthday party but they said you moved like a week later.”
“Yeah, dad is a marine and we were shipped out to Florida the next week.” Mary’s face dropped into shadow as she recalled the move. “I tried to find you about a year ago when mom and I moved back to town but couldn’t remember your last name.”
Mary and I poured two strong drinks from the kitchen counter and made our way outside like we did all those years ago. There was no river or dock this time just an over-crowded swimming pool but we managed to find two chairs at a far corner with a stone table between them.
“So how do you know Shannon?” I asked taking a large gulp of the burning brown liquid to calm my nerves.
“Shannon? No, I know Brent,” Mary’s eyes darkened at the mention of his name. “That ass hole invited me to this party to make me jealous. He told me it was just a normal party, though he was going to…”
“Apparently they are both fuck tards then.”
“Both?” Mary asked after draining the cup in one go.
“Yeah, Shannon is my ex and it was apparent when I got here she was just trying to make me jealous.”
“Is it working?”
“Not anymore, I just ran into the girl I’ve been in love with for the last four years,” I said with the unmistakable influence of the alcohol before unwisely emptying my own cup.
Mary didn’t make any comments she just lowered her face and bit her bottom lip in that cute way I remembered from years earlier. I could easily imagine the glint of braces and two pigtails. The burning feeling in my crotch that started when I first saw Mary in the blue skirt was now spreading up my torso and down my legs with the aid of the inhibition inhibiting alcohol, and from the look on Mary’s face it was also working on her. The gravity of our two bodies seemed to increase exponentially as we stared into each other's eyes. When the wave of heat hit my brain I couldn’t resist anymore, lunging at the bright red lips. Mary responded with more force catching me in the middle and carrying me backward over the chair and into the freshly mowed grass of the yard. A distant cat call momentarily broke the passionate moment and then faded into the white noise of pounding blood.
Mary had been my desire for years that I couldn’t accept the reality of the moment and instead let my imagination carry me further away into fantasy. My right hand found the back of Mary’s head and I laced my fingers into her hair pulling her lips lighter to mine as our tongues fought to increase the others pleasure. Fire erupted between our bodies and I felt Mary’s hands sliding over my body pulling at my belt first and then tugging my shirt up my chest. My free hand found the edge of her skirt and pushed them down as I groped the round ass cheek below. My erection ached with the painful pulsing of blood begging for attention, never before had I received such a hard erection. Sure I’d had sex many times before but something was different tonight with Mary. When Mary’s finger pushed the zipper down on my shorts and rubbed not to gently the length of my erection I screamed a moan of pleasure to the night ignoring the situation and place we were in. The party had faded away into a long forgotten dream replaced only by a pure sexual passion for this bombshell girl. If this was a dream I never wanted to wake up again.
Mary’s hair was falling free from her ears and becoming wild, the change made her sexier like a wild majestic cat so I pulled her into my lips again before tugging the hot pink tank top over her head tossing it carelessly aside. Mary’s breasts were revealed to the world in there perfect glory firm with large areolas and hard pencil like nipples. I released her neck and pulled both of the amazing tits towards my mouth squeezing, licking and sucking. Now it was Mary’s turn to scream out in pleasure and I felt wetness spread over my cock soaking into my boxers only then did I realize the pleasure that was racing from my throbbing erection was Mary grinding her wet pussy into my hard on. Mary was naked on top of me and had done her best to pull my clothes free but failed with me still laying on them. I kicked off my shoes and leaned into Mary’s chest still kissing at her exposed breasts as she pulled my t-shirt away.
Mary kissed my lips again in a sweet loving kiss before pulling her body away from mine. My passion and lust for the girl exploded inside me and I longed for her to return to my touch. The effects of the alcohol still dulled my thoughts but the faces of the many onlookers came into focus for the briefest of moments. Many were smiling, clapping, screaming and even a few were masturbating to the show. It was all still white noise in my ears as the thundering of my own heart prevented me from distinguishing any of it. Mary’s hand tugged hard on my shorts and boxers and in one swift movement pulled them free of my legs tossing them wildly into the crowd. My briefest of concerns of being nude on the grass of my ex-girlfriends yard surrounded by hundreds of faces watching me faded quickly when Mary’s firm tender hands touched my inner thighs.
The heat and passion returned my focus to the beautiful girl before me and reality faded back into the fantasy that was Mary and me. I watched the sexy girl reach between her legs to rub her pussy retrieving a large amount of her own cum that she used to lubricate my cock as she stroked.
As Mary’s had stroked my long shaft I found my voice escaping once again without my control, “Oh god Mary that feels so good!”
Mary licked her smile and said, “I had no idea you would be so big, I hope I can fit it all inside.”
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ホットファック
ニースj。ベイビーは古いディックをなめる
息を呑むようなタイトなティーンエイジャーは彼女の広がった陰部と小さな肛門をねじ込みます
ニーナ&ニコールプライベートバケーションセックステープ4some
3レズビアンとMILとストラップオンの少年の間の屋外3P
温かいジズムをノンストップで注ぐ
OutOfTheFamily汚い彼氏が彼女の親友と浮気している!
おばあちゃんはごっくん女王です
足フェチプレイ
甘いティーンはエロティックなおっぱいクソと濡れた口の喜びを与えます
JuliaReaves-DirtyMovie-60歳以上-シーン1-ビデオ1アナルクソベイビーザーメンpussyfucking
シジュウカラの美しいベイビーはお尻にそれを取得します
チェリーソーダ:パパとセックス
Project Myriam - セックス シーン #9a - 2 つの大きなペニスを持つホットな妻の 3 人組 - 3d ゲーム、3d ヘンタイ、ポルノ ゲーム、Zorlun による 60 FPS
吸って乗っている黒い義姉妹
面白い入れ墨のトラニー浮気者
ワイド コック ローマ メジャー ディープ ディックス セックス クイーン GILF ニーナ ハートリーのスナッチ!
フランスのプライベートパーティーでスパイカム!プライベートな夜のスパイカメラ。
小柄な十代の顔が勇気づけられた
拳レズビアンオーガズムとfingerfucks
シャワーの下で強打された巨大なおっぱいを持つ曲線美の赤毛
試着室-2人の女の子のためのパンティーを選ぶ
anftheatroをドッギングしない
厄介なレズビアンのギャルズはピンクのクイムと肛門をフィストファックしています
マンコ振動が若林美保ワークアウト終了
イースター・カニー・ハント
彼の巨大なコックは彼女の小さな猫をかろうじてファックすることができます
スリーウェイでBbcにねじ込まれた巨乳金髪熟女
私のぽっちゃり検疫
ニーナとレオジーニョ俳優-キャスティング#1-失敗-経験の浅い若者がポルノでのキャリアを試みる-赤で完了(これはあまりにも良いです)
猫をいじる若いベイビー-FreeHotCams.cf
パロマのアナルトレーニング
素晴らしい黒
Pretty playgirl has wildest teen cockriding of life
Darksome hunkは、2人のポルノスターを厳しいアナルで喜ばせます
ブラジル人カップルアマチュア後背位fuckin
MILFは配達人9をファックします
コスプレレズフィンガーティーン
私のサブは、私が熱くなるまで私のお尻を吸いました-お尻舐めお尻崇拝-ルーベンス・バダロがプロデュース
ラブボタンマッサージ動画
温かい舌
欲求不満の熟女継母アリッサ・ジェイドが継息子のハメ撮りでバスルームでオーガズムに犯される
コンドームなしで彼女のタイトなお尻を取る若いブロンドのD4
[トレーラー] ジェリーとセックスする完全スパイ - 3 人の女性と 1 人の老人
裸の日本のまどかはミニスカートの制服を着ています
枕営業で犯されたバブルバットブラックベイブ
隣人とパート3
いたずらなサフィーがハードな猫の罰を受ける
バレリーナの足射精
フリー シーン - ふしだらな アジア人 0584
厄介な野生の白人の女の子との栄光の穴異人種間23
かなりのレズビアンの十代の若者たちは小便と潮吹きの濡れたおまんこで覆われます
恋人は猫と靴から彼女の男を作ります
オーヴァーロード作戦ブルーヘアガールは、ずさんなフェラリトルパックでマスターにサービスを提供します
巻き込む男魔法の愛棒はギャルを女に変える
膣にバナナを感じたことがなかったので、今までにないほど濡れてしまいました! -ソロガールマンコオナニー
ティーンは最も良いリラクゼーションを得る
幅 クルーズ ツバメ コック
セックス抑制主義者のSkylarVoxは、ソーシャルメディアにセクシーな写真を必要としていました。彼女は、継父であるTommyに助けを求めることを躊躇しません。
ブロージョブショット
彼女の毛むくじゃらの陰部をファックしている新鮮なかわい子ちゃん4
私は本当に私のおもちゃが大好きです。なぜなら彼らは私をとても激しく射精させるからです
グループファックフェイシャル-cumandbang.com28
【国内】天明メディア国内オリジナルAV中国語字幕TM0164セックスノート2長編映画
彼女の名前は何ですか?
舐めるための猫。
オフィスチェアでドキドキ金髪熟女容疑者
ブロンドのソフィー・リンを喜ばせる巨根セックス
キューティーはソロプレイに満足する
継母にイク方法を教える巨根
ラテックスビデオ - プッシーティーズとストッキング誘惑 - FemDom POV - hot MILF Arya Grander
MILF downblouse ジャーク オフ
ギャングバングタンブラー
パパスの家で一人でメキシコのフルHDウィードホットサマ新しい2016をクソ途方もないクソ
ゴスの売春婦はドキドキします
セクシーな姿とゴージャスなお尻の女の子がペニスをふざけてジャンプし、犬のポーズで精子を全部降ろします。 DickForStepSister
すべての位置でクソ本物の十代のカップル
巨乳継母シルビア・セイジとブランディ・ラブがタブーフォーサムで離婚を祝う - MomSwap
ドクター・ナースが病院で捕まる
太った巨乳しゃぶりコック
彼女はブラジルのチャンネルで初めてカメラの後ろで録画しました
素晴らしいお尻を持つ18歳のブロンドのティーン
Roxy Jezel と Kat なめること プッシー 三人組 アナル ポンピング
大きな黒いお尻
空腹の毛むくじゃらのお母さん
ザーメンマンコ
オーガズムまで私の男性のダッチワイフに乗る
友人の妹を捕まえて、マストチョダロックダウンの自宅でこのビデオを見る
お尻を与えるナターシャの熱いお尻-WWW.TVBUCETA.COM
痴女ブルネットサバンナペイジ売春婦は、ホットロッドとおもちゃでアナルドキドキを取ります
警備員は万引きティーンのお尻をファック
熟女シーン
大きい ディック stepbrother 好き へ アナル くそ 彼の 義姉妹
私は食べ物のためにあなたのペニスを吸います、私はそれが取るものは何でもするだろうと見知らぬ人に言いました、食料品の支払いに使用される熱い黒檀のMsnovemberの口、公共の黒檀のフェラチオ、Sheisnovemberの平面図で頭を激しく舐めるディックを噛む
ブルネットショーメッシュストッキングでセクシーな足 - 足フェチ
私のrを取る。ブルネットSTEPSISTERに
アバターのネイティリが彼女のクリーミーな濡れた猫をウェブカメラでライブファック
大きなお尻の妻に見知らぬ人ジャーク
金髪bbc
ゲイブラックセックス-ハードコアクソ10
私の友達ぽっちゃりママは私の精液を飲み込む
愛を込めてゆっくり舐める
夫と妻はベビーシッターをファック536
このチアリーダーはオタクを好む
レイラロシアのティーンカムガール無料アナルポルノ
ピンクの網タイツの衣装を着たチョコレートの女性Mi $$ $ uckableは、若いよく吊るされたスタッドによって彼女の猫を掘削します
DocTaboo - 家族療法に行く黒人の義理の兄弟
勇気のある流れでハードコアドリル
バーでのホットな巨乳グループ乱交
ムラートGPを食べる
デカチンで猿轡かませて欲しい
Hawtpovオーラルプレジャー
Anaisabeles19ビデオメッセンジャーウェブカメラカレッジは18歳と19歳を記録しました
男は部屋の隠しカメラでファックします
クマロット-ボインの黒檀は巨大な黒い雄鶏の世話をします
はちみつをなでる
カルメラクラッチvストレッチイントロ
バスルームでオナニーするぽっちゃりエリア
MICA ANDRADEは、熱いフェチシーンで提出するTOSHISANになります
私は恥ずかしがり屋の義理の妹に、私たちがポルノを見ている間、ふしだらな女のように乗るように教えます-最高の瞬間.
ジムスパイ放尿巨根
スポーツブラTバックパンスト試着ハードファック
見知らぬ人に犯されたジェシカ・ヤンス
アマチュア自家製三人組mmfで毛むくじゃらの細いアジアの熟女
生意気な金髪の万引き犯はすべてを否定しようとするが逃げ場がない
ダーティメイドトレーラー-私の有料サイトの完全な15分のビデオ-フェラチオ、ディープスロート、ファッキング&ザーメンショット!
生キャスティング神経質絶望的なアマチュアコンパイル熟女ティーン
運転の仕方と性交の仕方を教える
巨大なおっぱいバウンドふしだらな女ラフお尻を叩いた
ヤンクスキューティーニーナカミング
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ビキニマークのブロンドはbコックを紹介します。膣の巨人
Trailer-Battle with Spider-Woman without Condom-愛愛-MT-005-Best Original Asia Porn Video
男は女の子をなめ、ボンクします
私はベネズエラ人で、私のクキタリカにGÜEVOがたくさん与えられるのが好きです
FUDENDO JAPA GOSTOSA
きちんとしたひよこは釘付けされた後背位を取得し、巨大なshlongに乗る
男最大のペニスを味わう
Katei Kyoushi X Saimin 2 Route2 Scene5 with subtitle
ビキニを着ているセクシーな妊娠中のひよこは、彼女の寝室で激しく犯される
ボインの熟女は乱暴なセックスのために彼女の足を広げます
マライアボナーマスクメーカー2010
パンストでかわいいブロンドのクソ
SOUTHERNSTROKES Twinks Rimi Morty と Eugene Colt 生ハメ
あのオマンコ全部食べちゃった
カエルの縛られたスカンクはオブジェクトを処理します
彼は2人の黒いベイビーに彼のペニスを吸われるようにそれを愛する男らしい男
ファックキャスト - Ponô を始めたばかりのカップルにインタビューして、ホットなお尻と 3P と 2 穴挿入 DP を行いました
KELYPivetinhaは18歳からNovinhoの処女を奪いました
黒いコックを取る熱い大きなお尻のお母さん
センセーショナルなベイビーはストリップしてそれを難しくします
痴女ブルネット熟女はこの仕事が大好きです
夫を遊びに誘うブスイ
ベッドルームでセックスをしている太ったカップル
不潔な売春婦オルガ・カバエバの苦しみと苦しみ。パート2。体罰、肛門フック、そして乱暴なクソ。
サッカースターの熟女不動産業者の大きな黒いコック
厳しい体罰。
Baavaaは一緒に6時間歌います-Baavaa6houres Keka Petinchadu lAtest New S
嫌いな人を黙らせる
隠されたカムで捕まえられた浮気妻はそれから夫とセックスします
OrgasmsTherapy - 巨乳医師のペニー・バーバーが兄弟のアレックス・ジェットとソフィア・バーンズを助ける
リタ拳私は非常に難しいpart2
完璧な大きなお尻を持つ角質の妻はFATコックに乗るホットアマチュアカップルホームセックス ALICExJAN
春のウアマリエスの女王。新たに合法。調和のとれた体。
ポルノ撮影の秘密
異人種間のセックス アクションはパロディです
デカチンめちゃくちゃ濡れマンコ
痴女ブロンディは彼女のセックススキルに関しては自慢したい
キャリーマリガン恥2011
いたずら妻
宅配業者 - リアルポルノ -
変態完全着衣バス乱交
隣の無邪気なキューティーは巨根に乗るのが大好き
やせっぽちの女の子をクソ
痴女美容公共はレストランのトイレでオマンコをオナニーします
ホット痴女ティーンとBBCとの黒人セックス
私の巨根のクローズアップを吸う
イスラム教徒の が2人の黒人ペニスに犯された(XREDのフルビデオ)
一時的なセックストリップVR第4章VR "patreon.com/A22
次の不動産会社の上司はあなたが疲れることなく一晩中不倫の仕事をしているのを見逃しています
レズビアントリビング, 猫を食べる, 緊縛, トリバディズム, クリトリス同士, ガールガール
AnytimeSex4k - Minxx Marley と Fiona Frost 好奇心旺盛なルームメイト
若い女性タイタンズ ep 16 レイヴンは私の前で裸になり、私たちはキスをしました
MY18TEENS-巨乳ブロンドハードセックスStepBrother
信じられないほどのブロンドのベイブは完璧なおっぱいを持っています
パブリックシースルーヨガパンツビッグブーティーワイフ
大きな完璧なお尻がゆっくりと私のためにディルドに乗る
ブレストダンス - 無料
レギンスをはいたスジを見せてくれる娘
若い熟女クリスタルテイラーはカメラのために巨大なおもちゃと大きなペニスをファックします!
Student sucks with guys
アリス・バルドゥーがキャプ・ダグドで友達とウーマナイザー・ディルドを試す
かわいらしい穴がカメラの前でなめられて乱暴にされる
初めてのメキシコ人中出し妻
ハロウィーンの夜遅くに吹き飛ばす - Vanessa Sixxx
Coochie Craving Nikki Benz And Horny Lesbian Phoenix Marie Eat Pussy!
エキゾチックなティーンをハイキングするヒッチは彼女のおっぱいを示しています
彼女のボーイフレンドと電話で話している間、性交を隠そうとするラテンの女の子
仕事の前に急ごしらえ
(ダーリンダニカ)巨乳ハードワーカーガールインオフィスクリップ-10とのセックステープ
ティーンは猫を中出しします
アマチュアドイツ人モデルのキャサリンナイトは彼らを大いに愛しています!
「アジアの十代のセックス人形ロボット2」青少年性パレット小さな18歳フィリピンの十代のアジアのアマチュアバイオレットレイハメ撮りは、セックス人形のように激しく犯され、シャワーで大きな黒いコック兼負荷を飲み込みます
ボールを吸ってミルクを飲む-Instagram @ gabrielastokweelをフォローしてください-私も来てからかってください-Whats11981622622であなたの時間をスケジュールしてください
認証動画
Nela Decker 4 on1最初のDAP /トリプル膣、DP / DVP、ATM、ボールが深く、大きな隙間、ごっくん
すべての内部エイプリルブルーは彼女の猫から絶頂を間近で噴出します
叔母のセックス教師は甥とセックスをしました
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プッシーギャップとイタリアの後背位
submitted by xrkljixhst to 4iq6sh0kke [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:03 ydnzauajej 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/6yq9gqm7hwpa1.gif
Part 4 of the story, continued, from, well duh, parts 1, 2, and 3!
I lay there quietly for some time, Jacky next to me, her breath competing with the volume from the tv that I was just now realizing was still playing. My breath came in pants and gasps. I was tired in the same way that I was after a football game, or a particularly grueling wrestling match. But oh boy was I so much more relaxed!
Eventually I got up and went into the bathroom. I took the used condom off of myself, and threw it into the toilet, blushing afterward. I went into the kitchen and removed my shirt from the sink full of dirty dishwater that had been allowed to sit through the day. It was soaking wet… I found the concept immensely funny…
Whipping the cum from myself I walked back into the living room and looked at Jacky, still splayed out across my bed. The room was lit by only a simple lamp on the table next to her, and in the yellow gold light she looked immaculate. It was the first time I had seen her naked…
Her hair was mussed, cut in a short pageboy style that seemed to emphasize her high cheekbones and pixie nose. That nose. On any other girl it would have been ugly, but on her it made her seen otherworldly, almost elfin. I wasn’t a big fantasy reader, but I knew she was beautiful in a way that only something not of this world could be. Her neckline was long and muscular, with individual fibers showing like the muscles of some jungle cat.
My eyes moved to her modest breasts, small, not quite a handful, but perfect on her small frame. Her nipples were pink, and erect, still excited from our recent sex. I looked over her perfect stomach, flat and toned. I knew she wasn’t one for working out, but was one of those girls blessed with the amazing metabolism that enabled her to eat and still stay thin. Her legs were toned and rippling, emphasizing her cat like lines. She didn’t shy away from my gaze, but met mine in a challenging stare. A full smile fell across my face.
“What?” she asked me.
I shook my head, “I just wish I could draw, you would be the next Mona Lisa if I drew you laying there, just like that.”. I realized the compliment sounded cheesy, but it was how I genuinely felt at that moment.
Her eyes softened, and a blush spread across her cheeks. She held her arms out to me. “Come here.” She commanded me.
I moved and lay down next to her, settling on my back, my head on my pillow, its texture already taking on her scent. She nuzzled in next to me, breathing contently, her head pillowed on my chest. I could feel her soft nipples against my side, the scratchy texture of her pubic hair as it settled across my leg. We lay there for some time, in a silence that wasn’t quite comfortable, but was somewhere very close.
“Gabe?” She whispered to me.
“Yeah.” I almost said Hun, but didn’t. I cursed myself inwardly for it, calling myself a damn coward.
“Do you love me?” Her voice was a whisper, and it cracked as she asked me her question.
Fuck. There was a hidden subtext there, and I knew what her question subtly meant. She was trying to tell me that she had feelings for me, but didn’t want to say she loved me if I wasn’t going to say it back, or worse yet, if I was going to lie to her. I felt like a piece of shit. I had just taken her virginity, a 14 year old girl who thought she was in love with me. I wasn’t that much older than her, still far closer to my 17th birthday than to my 18th, but I was still supposed to be the more mature of the two of us. I felt like I was using her…
Did I love her? I had to answer that I didn’t… I sensed however that simply saying no would crush her. I could hedge… She took a deep breath, and I could tell she was about to speak again, and letting that happen would somehow be worse than telling her no. I leaned over and kissed her with as much passion as I had in my soul. Her eyes closed and she melted in my arms.
When our kiss ended, I decided to tell her the truth. I reached up and ran a hand down the side of her face, cupping her cheek and holding her close to me. “Jacky. I won’t lie to you. I’m not in love with you.”
Her eyes softened, and I thought she might cry. “I like you. I like you a lot, but I don’t believe that love just smashes in on us overnight. I think most people confuse love and lust. Love is built on a foundation of trust, and care. It’s something two people build together over time. I know that one day I would love to be able to take care of you. To keep you safe, and hold you above the world. To have you by my side, as my partner, but we haven’t built that yet.”
She smiled at me, “That’s love silly…” she pressed herself into me, taking my mouth in the deepest, most passionate kiss we had shared yet.
When she broke away from me, I have to admit that I was so breathless that id didn’t know if she was right or not, but I did know that in that moment I would have done anything to keep her right there by my side…
She moved in and kissed me again, her nipples growing hard. She moved over my chest, straddling my stomach. Her mouth devowered mine, her tongue probing into my mouth. Her hips ground over my now hard cock. My hands moved from her side up to her breasts and I turned my head as she lay hot kisses across my neck. I felt her flick her hips and lift me up, ready to slide down on me.
I grabbed her hips, stopping her. God I wanted her to fight me… I knew that if she slid down on me I would be powerless, unable to even think of stopping her until I came inside her…
I took a deep breath, my voice coming in pathetic gasps of pleasure. “We can’t. I only had the one condom. I don’t want to get you pregnant.” I knew that as I had just taken her virginity I didn’t need to worry about anything else, nor did she, since she was my first…
Her green eyes blazed, an animal stalking her prey. She bit her lip, hard this time, not the timid nervous bite she usually used, but instead a powerful rending drag across her sharp too white teeth. I could see she was just barely in control. Some part of me hoped she kept it, because I had just used up the last of my willpower telling her no…
Her warm wetness was there, all I had to do was thrust forward….
“Fuck it.” She growled as she slid down on me. Hard.
My back arched in pleasure, a moan escaping me. I grabbed her hips and ground her onto me, lifting her bodily off the bed beneath me. Her nails scratched across my chest, leaving me in agony and ecstasy at the same time… My hips jammed back down on the bed, the frame slamming into my back. I didn’t care… I only cared about the lightning heat of her wrapped around me. My hands found her hips, and I ground her deeper and deeper into me as she rocked back and forth.
“God, fucking damn!” I called as she pushed down into me over and over again…
She leaned back, showing me her perfect body. Her nipples hard as tiny little rocks, her head thrown back in pleasure. She moaned, and cried with each downward thrust onto me. She fell back onto me, our mouths tangling, her tongue surging into my mouth in rhythm with my cock surging into her.
My brain was screaming for me to stop her, to somehow stop this before I came inside her…
My arms and hips however devowered her, pulling her into me. My chest heaved in an animalistic grunt with each thrust into her.
Her eyes met mine, “Tell me when you’re close, and I’ll finish you with my mouth…”
Suddenly she leaned back away from me, sitting upright on me again. Her thrusting increased in speed, her hands splayed out across my chest. Her thighs tightening across my legs. I knew she was about to cum again. Fuck the though of her surging on me and orgasming almost made me cum right there.
“Fuck!” She screamed out at the top of her lungs! Her pussy tightened around me like a vise. My hands found her hips again, and I viciously ground her hips against mine. Her cries bounced across my living room, her nails raking into my chest. I was barely holding onto the edge. Every ounce of my self discipline holding on by its fingernails to keep me from spilling my seed into her. A voice in the back of my head told me it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. My back arched out like I had been shocked. I was going to be pulled over the edge, and I didn’t care…
And then suddenly she was sliding away from me, her mouth closing around me like a vacuum. My hands tangled hard in her hair, and I shoved my cock down her throat. I know it was a dick move, but seriously, in that moment all I could think about was the blinding orgasm surging through my body. She didn’t struggle or fight me in the least, but instead had her hands wrapped tight around my ass as she shoved me further down her throat. Wave after wave of cum slammed out of my cock, straight down her throat, and she was suddenly pulling back, pulling my cock from her throat and into her able mouth, her tongue wrapping itself around my cock as she sucked down on me as hard as she possibly could.
I roared in pleasure, like some great beast…
And like that it was over, every muscle in my body quivered in pleasure. Her mouth still working over and over my too sensitive cock… I grabbed her hair roughly and pulled her back up to me, kissing her viciously.
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VID 20150504 081511
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私の大きなお尻の穴がお尻のプラグ挿入を取得し、継父から、私のパジャマのボタンが外されている間、Sheisnovemberという名前の若い巨乳の黒人娼婦、タブーの猫の挿入の前に巨乳と乳輪が撫でられる
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Dzamilja Anastasia Sjostrom Toechter 2014
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submitted by ydnzauajej to ojv6115sam [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:02 maximusaemilius Empyrean Iris: 1-133: Halloween (by Charlie Star)

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see, this, our town of Halloween
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Krill awoke, well not really awoke because Vrul don't sleep, but more like drifted out of a daydream, completely unsuspecting.
Then again, when it came to humans, he was almost always completely unsuspecting.
Krill generally took his hiatus in the in the medical bay, since he spent so much time there. There was, however, one drawback to this...
He woke to the sight of Conn, the starborn, floating suspended in a corner of the room.
His large black eyes were wide and unseeing, his large, round mouth was parted revealing the sharp interior vortex of teeth. He saw nothing, and he responded to nothing. It had been months since the event at the prison, and still, the starborn remained comatose. Internal cranial scans had not shown anything definitive. Starborn were difficult to read when compared to humans, but still it was frustrating they could find nothing.
Overall else, commander Vir blamed himself, Conn had saved his life before falling into a coma, and the man seemed to think it was partially him to blame, Krill couldn't have disagreed more, but there was no arguing with the man.
It was rather early, and the medical bay was empty, the lights above had been dimmed to mirror solar cycles and allow for the proper function of the human circadian rhythm. The biggest protest Krill had against this practice was it made everything dark and kind of creepy, especially when you had a brain dead starborn floating in the corner. He shuttered internally and turned away from the corner, quickly making his way from the room and into the dark hall.
Admittedly it wasn't much better out here. While the medical bay had a comatose starborn, the outside hallways were covered in an exposed layer of pipe, and without the reflective white surface of the hospital interior, the hallways were much darker.
Due to safety concerns, the hallways were lit by a single light every twenty feet, but that was seriously no help. He swallowed his concern beating it back with logic and made his way down the hall. The commander would be awake soon, and Krill had a few concerns he wanted to bring before the man.
He was passing a T-intersection on his way to the bridge, when an echoing clatter reached him from down the hall. He turned peering into the darkness, his night vision was relatively poor, so he saw nothing, but switching over to his thermal vision, he could see the faint figure of a human standing in the hallway.
It was a rather hunched person, but other than its heat signature, he couldn't see anything else.
He switched back to his regular vision,
*"Hello?"
He called into the darkness.
Another soft clattering, and a figure appeared from the black, stepping into the penumbra of light right at the edge of darkness and visible light.
Krill blinked in confusion.
It was a woman, or at least he thought it was. She had her face concealed by ragged drapes of long black hair; her head tilted down towards the floor. Her shoulders were hunched, and her hands were held down to the side. She wore only a long white t-shirt, or perhaps a night dress. Krill might have mistaken it as a hospital gown.
Seemed odd, usually the crew were at least somewhat dressed and presentable?
Perhaps they were sleepwalking, humans did that sometimes,
"Hello?"
Krill called again. He took a step forward, and before he knew what was happening, she was crawling across the floor, limbs contorted, feet scrabbling.
Krill let off a high-pitched squeal, turned and ran even as her scuttling followed after him, a horrible brushing slapping noise as her hands came in contact with the metal.
She was so close he could hear her breath.
He shrieked again, and somewhere along the hall a door opened.
A large blue head appeared form the doorway, blearily blinking,
"Krill what… HOLY SHIT!"
Sunny froze when she turned to look, eyes growing wide, then grabbing Krill up in one arm, she crouched into a fighting stance head lowered.
The 'thing' pulled up short, and then sat back on its heels. Dark hair parted about a grotesque face grey and cold, with dark black about the eyes and a horrid blackness about the lips,
"That is really hard on the shoulders, by the way."
Sunny and Krill stared at the creature in surprise, as the woman got to her feet dusting off her hands and knees throwing her dark hair over her shoulder. She giggled,
"You should have seen your face."
"Damn Cortney, that was just mean."
”Yeah, scaring Krill, that’s pretty cheap…I wish I thought of that.”
Krill and Sunny turned again to find the commander standing at the end of the hall, followed by a posse of other humans, and all of them were...
Well, they were dressed very strangely.
The commander himself was wearing a maroon button up shirt, tucked into tan pants and a brown leather gunbelt and boots. Over that he wore a brown leather jacket that reached almost to the floor. Most surprisingly, he had replaced his eyepatch with a prosthetic eye.
Sunny cocked her head, in confusion,
"What is this all about?"
"Hold on, Krill though, that's low hanging fruit."
The woman shrugged,
"He was the only one I knew who I could scare and not get stomped, besides."
She grinned,
"He squeals like a child."
"Captain, we're wasting time!”
One of the bridge crew had stepped up to the commander's side. He was wearing a strange blue long sleeve shirt with a small golden emblem on it, black pants as well... And well his ears seemed rather pointier than they should have been.
"And you are absolutely right!"
He motioned the group behind him forward,
"Come on wouldn't want to miss anything."
Sunny and Krill stood by in confusion as the humans walked past in the wake of the captain.
Behind him, a bearded man in tan robes and a brown cloak followed by another in a strange black suit of armor with some serious breathing issues, and then a bunch of white armored men after that.
In stark contrast to that, a few people came by in very dated clothing, the women with large skirts, and the men with fancy tipped canes.
Sunny found one of the costumes quite unsettling, a human painted with a white face, but bright red lips and nose, with a shock of orange hair and a very strange lacy costume. When he smiled at her, it made her shiver.
After that, a human in a long black and red cape, dark hair slicked back. He smiled at them, and two of his teeth were far longer than they should have been. Sunny could tell by the way Krill cringed, that he wasn't particularly pleased with this.
They continued to parade past in a column, strange armor, stranger clothing. Sunny recognized some of them from the multitudinous number of movies they had watched on the crew movie nights, and even more from the countless movies Vir had made her watch.
A woman in green full plate armor with purple eyes clanked her way past, accompanied by one of the engineers in a red robe with multiple metal arms on his back and Ramirez, who was not wearing a shirt, while he held a weird sword with teeth and was painted by lots of red circles with weird arrows in them.
Behind them followed a man wearing a black suit, dark hair reaching to his shoulders. He had a very closely cropped dark beard, and under one arm he held a stuffed beagle... he was talking to another suit wearing man with a red flower on his chest, holding a stuffed cat telling him about offers he couldn’t say no to.
Whatever that was about?
After they had gone past, Sunny and Krill tagged onto the end of the line, following the group of humans.
They entered into the rec room, but not before another robed figure (accompanied by a small human with big feet, wearing a ring on a chain around his neck) with a big beard told them where they were not allowed to enter, and aranged themselves comfortably.
Commander Vir motioned them closer,
"Come on you two, don't' think I didn't forget about you."
Sunny was a bit confused when he handed her a very strange looking weapon, shaped sort of like a teardrop, but with two prongs. When she pressed a button near the handle, the entire thing lit up with analogue blue electricity.
Another human wearing a helmet with a golden visor and clad in green full body armor exclaimed:
”Aww fucking sweet, I love it! Look Sunny we are a costume pair now!”
Kril got some sort of black covering with a red hourglass shape on the back.
"What is this?"
Krill demanded, the commander grinned and opened his arms wide,
"This my friend is october 31st, Halloween."
"A hallow whats-this?"
"No Halloween. Probably about the greatest holiday ever."
"Like christmas?"
Krill wondered.
"Exactly like christmas. A pagan holiday evolved overtime for commercialization to squeeze every drop of income out of the general populace, and absolutely the best."
Krill and Sunny looked back and forth between each other in confusion.
"What does that have to do with the costumes?"
"Well originally I think it had to do something with wearing masks so a demon couldn't see your real face or something, but now you just dress up as whatever is cool, and then the kids go around asking people for candy. For adults it's an excuse to get drunk, eat their kids’ candy, and watch a scary movie marathon."
Sunny crossed her arms,
"And which one of those will we be doing now?"
”YES!”
”What?”
The commander grinned at her,
"Well, now that we are dressed up, we will be doing a scary movie marathon, eating candy, and then later we are going to party and get drunk... Within reason."
Oh great, this was going to be a disaster. Humans always thought alcohol was a good idea... It never was.
More humans entered.
The first one was wearing brown pants and a blue white shirt. He brought a suitcase, which upon him opening it contained boxes of chocolate.
Following him was a group of humans clad in black, who despite the low lights, were wearing sunglasses. The one with the darker skin color was handing out blue and red sweets.
The last one entering was Doctor Katie, wearing a pretty revealing white outfit. With her orange colored hair and showing everyone her ID card, she stood out quite a bit.
The commander took a seat on one of the couches and then patted the cushions next to him,
"See, I reserved seats for the three of us... oh, just one warning though, I am a total pansy when it comes to scary movies. I will scream, no question about it."
"Then... Why are we doing it?"
Sunny wondered.
"Because it's halloween, the entire point is to be scared at least some point during the day."
[…]
He was very much not kidding.
He did scream, a lot, and he had a habit of grabbing Sunny rather violently when anything jumped out at them.
Sunny personally didn't see the big deal, there wasn't any monster for real, and even if there was, she had a couple of ideas on how to get rid of them, and most of them involved a sharp stick of some sort, or a grenade.
It also didn't help that the humans were always stupid, she knew humans and she was very aware of how well their flight or fight system worked.
No human she knew would walk into a dark room after something creepy happened to them.
But these humans, they loved it, if they weren't freaking out, they were laughing at the others freaking out, and even those who were freaking out ended up laughing a few seconds later. She was sure that Krill had some paper in mind about human social bonding, or perhaps a theory about the calibration of the flight or fight system encouraged by the viewing of scary movies, but she wasn't convinced.
Watching Adam almost pee himself was rather entertaining, and out of the two of them, she liked it when he was forced to rely on her. In this case, he mostly just borrowed her as a shield, but still, it was funny.
Krill was not particularly happy with the amount of trash food consumed.
He hadn't exactly known about health science when he started, kind of assuming that humans could just eat anything they wanted, but now he knew better, and knowing better meant being annoyed at the human's poor life choices.
As for the strange costumes, it turned out that the humans had dressed themselves up as popular characters from movies, books, or history. If not a specific person, then they chose for an aesthetic. The woman in white was from a centuries old horror movie called, the ring. As for commander Vir, he described his costume as "Coming from the best underrated sci-fi television show to ever grace planet earth.
She would have placed him in a western rather than science fiction, but it seemed as if humans didn't like following the rules of their own genres.
As for Krill, he did have a couple of theories to write about. Yes, Sunny was right about the first two, and in conjunction with each other. Laughter was, mostly, a social emotion, sure humans laughed to themselves, but they did it at a much higher frequency around other humans.
Furthermore, from what he could tell, many humans didn't like to watch these sort of movies alone which concluded to him that fear was designed to be a social experience. In fact, humanity seemed to have designed a way to foster greater social bonds in people by having them experience fear together, not only that, but the human sympathetic nervous system was allowed to work in a safe environment readying itself for if something DID happen, and practicing for the eventuality.
He came to the conclusion that it was probably a good practice for the humans. It was a safe way for them to experience stress with other humans and prepare mentally for dangerous situations. For once, Krill actually approved of the behavior, it was safe, nothing dangerous about watching a movie.
As for the costumes, he had a theory about that too. Humans, and partially the Drev, were the only creatures known to design fictional events through fiction, as demonstrated by the movies. The Drev had generally used it the purpose of religion creating grand epics of fantastic warriors in order to teach their children attributes proper for a warrior. Humans would make up anything for the entertainment of it, they had an uncanny ability to imagine themselves in fantastic situations, and many spent times looking for these stories actively. Krill wondered if it was a way to practice empathy, putting yourself in the shoes of another, or if it was some sort of learning. Perhaps they gleaned information from unusual situations preparing themselves in case something was to happen.
The commander's opinion? Well, he pointed out that it was fun to be someone else for a while, someone who was braver than you, smarter than you, better looking than you, or maybe had a more interesting life then you. It gave you an excuse to act in ways you wouldn't normally do, and allowed others to accept your actions as, not you, but of another person.
Humanity desired nothing more than adventure, and perhaps... That's why they went to space before bothering to find out what was in the depths of their own ocean.
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Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
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